The Jesus Job

Hardison sat at the head of the table in the briefing room, chewing his lip, waiting for the others. Eliot was the last one to enter the room; the rest of the team was sitting around with solemn looks on their faces. He stared at everyone before he sat down. "What's going on?" he asked suspiciously. "Is this about the leftover Chinese? I asked if anyone wanted it!"

Nate gave him a meaningful look, and then looked at Hardison. Hardison was sitting with a folder in front of him, staring at it. "They swindled her, man. Nana's sister. We called her Aunt Harriet. She used to watch us sometimes." Hardison ran his hand over top of his head, obviously agitated. He shook his head and looked at Nate.

"Man, they swindled her out of her life savings! We got to do something!"

Sophie was sitting next to Hardison and reached over to cover his hand with hers. "We will, Hardison. Why don't you tell us what happened."

"Ya'll heard of Jeff and Amy Avery?"

"The evangelists?" Eliot asked.

Everyone turned to look at him. "My grandma watches them." When the stares continued, he snapped, "What? I can't have a grandma?"

"I've done some checking. They've build a resort for couples and most of their money is channeled into that. They call it some kind of 'building fund'. The resort is called 'The Savior's Union Couples Camp'. It's designed to save marriages with counseling and fellowship."

One of the screens of the viewing system on the wall showed a smiling couple dressed in white. Another screen showed a four-story palatial building of Italian architecture with lavish gardens and multiple floors.

"So, how did they swindle Aunt Harriet?" Sophie asked.

"They called her on the phone and started talking to her about her salvation. How she could show God just how devout she is by pledging. The more she gave, the happier it made God."

Nate cleared his throat. "I'm going to go out on a limb here…Aunt Harriet…how is her mental health?"

"Nate!!!" Sophie said, shocked.

Parker glared and Eliot scowled at him.

Hardison shook his head. "She's got senile dementia. It's in the early stages. I could give her the money back but…"

Nate nodded. "But you want them to pay."

"Damn straight! This is my Aunt Harriet we're talking about. And there has to be others out there."

"Okay, so how do we get in?" Parker asked. "And who gets to play the married couple." She glanced at Eliot nervously.

Eliot's eyes widened. "Oh, no! HELL no! I ain't playing her husband. No way I'm getting stuck in a room with her."

Parker wrinkled her nose at him. He glared at her and shook his head.

"Here's what I got so far. They charge $2000 a week and all the couples are members of the 'Avery Brigade', their membership club they call a 'church'. They charge $10000 a year in dues. And there is definitely something wrong with this resort.

"They have a surveillance system that would make the Pentagon jealous. There's a server with an external Internet feed, which I assume is for webcasts of their weekly program. I've tapped into their 'guest list' if we need to go undercover that way. I'm thinking we need at least one other person as a staff member to move around inside."

Suddenly, Hardison stopped and looked at Nate. He was watching intently and silently. "Sorry, man. I was so wrapped up in this…"

"It's quite alright, Hardison. But how do you propose to get the money back?"

"Well, that is your area of expertise. I'd like to hear your thoughts on the matter." Hardison smiled at him.

Nate smiled back and looked at Sophie. "I'm thinking investors. Married God-fearing investors."

He turned and looked at Parker. "Parker, how are your cleaning skills?"

She glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"The cleaning staff has a run of the place and we need tactical support. You can place our equipment inside where we need it and find out more about the surveillance system first hand. But we need Eliot to actually check out the computer room. The staff is probably God-fearing and mostly male; he'd have a better chance of gaining entry. I don't think the 'wink and the shimmy' is going to work here."

"Well, okay. As long as I don't have to sleep with him." She gestured towards Eliot.

"In your dreams!" he hissed.

"So, are we the married couple?" Sophie purred and gazed at Nate hopefully.

"Oh, no. We can't be clients." He thought about it for a few minutes. "I don't know. If we had someone to pose as Eliot's wife. . . "

"Who? Maggie?" Eliot asked.

"Oh, you would just love that, wouldn't you?" Nate spat.

"Hey, I told you I was doing my job. Can I help it if she finds me attractive?"

"HA!!!" Nate ran his fingers through his hair. "That is not going to happen."

Eliot bit his lip to keep from laughing. Then suddenly, he broke out into grin.

Sophie looked at him warily. "Eliot?"

"I know someone. She'll be perfect. Her name's Carly."

"Can she be trusted?" Parker asked.

"She owes me a favor. She'll be okay. Just let me make a phone call." He gave Parker a stern look. "And Parker? Behave yourself."

Parker was beaming. "We get to meet Eliot's girlfriend," she teased.

He scowled at her. "See, that's what I'm talking about. She's not my girlfriend." He turned around and walked out the door before they could see the smile on his face.