Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of the characters therein. Or the line about alerting the media. Don't sue.

A/N: Moshi moshi! I'm back, with another chaotic Bakurafic. Before we get started, I must thank DeathMax-kun for helping me out yet again with insane ideas for this story; arigato gozaimasu!

Hope y'all enjoy!

Job Hunting for Psychopaths: Prologue

…

"I've had it," Ryo announced. He glanced sideways to see if his yami, who was in the middle of watching a disturbing-sounding horror movie on demand, had heard him.

He hadn't. Either that or he was simply ignoring Ryo, which was also quite possible.

Ryo frowned and spoke a little louder. "Bakura," he said pointedly. "I have had enough."

The emphasis didn't do a thing. Bakura continued to remain engrossed in his horror movie. Ryo winced as a terrible squelching noise followed by a scream erupted from his television, but he'd long since learned not to peek at whatever Bakura was watching: nine times out of ten, it pushed Ryo to sleep with the lights on.

"Bakura. Bakura!"

The older male continued to laugh away at a scene that would probably give any sane person nightmares. Fed up, Ryo reached over and managed to turn the TV off without catching a glimpse of what was playing on it. That caught his yami's attention.

"Hey!" Bakura snapped. "She was just about to-"

"Do not tell me," Ryo interrupted.

"But it was right in the middle of eating-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Ryo yelped, fighting down horrible mental images and trying to remember why he had spoken up in the first place. Oh, right: Having enough.

"Yes, as I was saying. I have had enough."

"Good for you," Bakura replied sardonically. "I'll be sure to alert the media."

Frowning, Ryo willed himself not to be dragged into an unwinnable argument and stayed on track. "In case my implication wasn't clear enough, you are what I have had enough of."

"Ouch," was the sarcastic reply.

"More specifically, the havoc you wreak," Ryo continued. "You torment the neighbor's pets. You traumatize telemarketers. You blow up my house," he added forcefully.

"It was only a little fire damage!" Bakura protested.

"Your definition of 'a little fire damage' cost me a ridiculous amount in the form of repair bills. And then there was the whole fiasco with the kittens over fall, along with all the doctor and dentist bills that followed-"

"Is there a point to this, or is this your way of begging me to send you to the Shadows?" Bakura cut him off irritably.

"Yes, there is a point," Ryo responded huffily. "I've been thinking about this for a few weeks now, and all things considered it seems like my only option. Besides sending you to an asylum, of course, but I shudder to imagine what you could come up with in the company of a bunch of fellow nutcases. Anyway.." He inhaled.

"I've decided that you need to get a job."

Bakura blinked. Once. Twice. Then several times in quick succession.

"Either my hearing is going or you have come out to yourself about being a masochist."

Ryo smirked, glad he had finally gotten his dark side to take this seriously. "As much as it pains me to unleash you on the free and unsuspecting world, it's the lesser of two evils. At least under the watchful eye of a supervisor you won't be able to make anything explode."

"If you think for one second that I am going to just go along with this," Bakura seethed, "then you are sadly mistaken."

Ryo merely smiled at this. "I've already asked around; there are plenty of job openings around here right now. You can't sit on my sofa forever."

"Like hell I can't!"

"I'm giving you an opportunity to choose a job yourself," Ryo pressed. "You should be thanking me."

The thief snorted. "Thank you, my-"

"I'd start by checking the Wanted ads," the lighter of the two steamrolled. "You can start tomorrow."

"What makes you think I'm going to-"

"Because if you don't," Ryo interrupted gleefully, "then I'm going to invite Atem to stay with us for a few weeks."

Bakura's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?"

Deciding this didn't merit a response, the thief tried a different tact. "The blasted Pharaoh lives with his precious hikari."

"Yugi's visiting family in America, and Atem didn't want to intrude. Yugi won't be back for awhile, and I'm sure his yami would be all too happy for the company." Ryo folded his arms and allowed himself a satisfied grin.

Bakura cast Ryo a look that clearly said he would like nothing more than to disembowel him with a spoon. They stared at each other for several long moments before Bakura spat the word "Fine."

He turned the television back on and restarted his horror movie, mentally replacing the shrieking girl with his dear hikari.

TBC

A/N: This is going to be fun for me. Hopefully it'll be so for you as well!