A/N: This is Mana here! Yes, I mean as in QueenManaOfEgypt. I'd like to take this chance to introduce you to my new profile. My new strictly yaoi profile might I add. I'd like to ask you all to check out my story: Drops of Rain on my original profile: QueenManaOfEgypt. It was originally suppose to be a yaoi birthday present for my yaoi/yuri fangirl of a sister, Yaharah, but no support from readers, so I'm thinking of just making it one-sided yaoi with the main pairing as Atem x Mana, since it's my fav paring ever. Although, I think it would have been a good prideshipping and darkshipping story. If you want, read it and tell me what you think I should do with it, k? ^.~

As of now I'm writing both yaoi and het (is that how you say boy x girl? I have no idea…^^0)

Any who…I'm really tired with all that been happening as of late, I mega busy, home-work comes in the dozens, I have a lot of extra and co-curricular actives and it's hard for me to update as regularly as I'd like so I'm sorry in advance. Plus, people don't really review or give support like they did before. So basically, I don't get enough motivation to give up important and very rare sleep time-only about 4 or 5 hours-, because no one is telling me that they like the story….TT

But…Have no fear! ^^ I don't give up!-grins and flashes peace-

Btw, that right up there-points to line above- in the '-'s' is my trademark! –Grins-

Summary: As Yugi and Yami (Atem)'s last year of high school comes closer to an end, and colleges in England and Cairo peak over the horizon, Yami desperately tries to strengthen their bond. However, Yugi continues to push Yami away. Why? And what will Yami do about it?

Warning: Drugs, rape, abuse, violence, and religion.

Genre: Romance! Yay! ^^ & Angst! Oh no! Y.Y

CONGRADULATIONS TO TOXIC HATHOR AND RIYU YAMI! Thanks to you, your awesomely well written and thought out stories, and my sister's constant nagging and talk of yaoi I am officially a…YAOI-FANGIRL! –GASP! - ^_^

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO, because if I did I would be famous not Taka-what's-his-face! –Grins-

Chapter One

At Arms' Length

~YAMI'S POV~

It's raining gallons per second. (Which is troubling by the way, it's mid-March, shouldn't it be all sunshine?)There's enough lighting to light up the world for a year, too. And let's not forget my best friend thunder; he's so loud today that I'm deafened by him. Or is it that I just don't want to hear anything anymore? Would you if you all you ever hear is how much insults, the person whom you love most in this entire universe can come up with to describe you? I'm currently in my bedroom, lying on my right side, on my queen-sized canopy bed with the heavy red drapes closed. I've been lying here, crying. I'm in a sleeveless, light blue V-neck and a pair of tight black shorts, sniffling, like the loser I am (well, according to my hikari). I've been here for about 2 hours now…thinking.

I'm staring at a photo of Yugi and I last Christmas, back when he was the joyous and carefree soul who occasionally saved the world with me. I smile a small and sad smile. He was sitting on my lap, with his arms around my neck in an awkward embrace. He wore a lovely long-sleeved, purple turtle-neck sweater, a pair of dark blue jeans, purple push-toes and one of the most brilliant smiles I ever saw him smile. His amethyst eyes shining beautifully…I had my arms around his waist and my head rested on his shoulder. I was wearing a red off-the-shoulder sweater, a pair of black dress pants and black roman-styled sandals. I was smiling just as brightly and my eyes lit up with joy.

My small smile crumbles.

I don't understand what happened. He hates me, and is constantly doing things to remind me of it. Now, he's keeping me at arm's length. He's ignoring me, avoiding me too. And if he's not doing either of those, he's screaming dozens of insults (some of which Bakura never knew existed) at me. The worst part is I have absolutely no idea why. It's been just over half a year since the Ceremonial Battle, which I won. Ah yes, seven and a half long, difficult, frustrating, and ultimately fairly content months. I sigh. I wish that they could have been better, to have spent them how I really and truly wanted. How exactly did I picture spending them? Well, I pictured myself with Yugi of course. Spending each and every moment with my precious and darling aibou…That's actually how I pictured my entire life in general would be if I stayed. However, I'm too much of a cowered to tell my aibou that. I just can't tell him exactly how much I care. How can I when he acts like I don't exist! It would never work, anyway. I'd only hurt him like I did back in DOMA. Besides, last I checked, he was head over boots in amour [A/N: Love in French, k?] with Tea. I don't even think that he's, you know…gay.

By the way, am I the only one who notices how strange of a word that is? I mean it means 'happy' or 'happiness' so does it mean only happy or joyous people can find love within the boundaries of their same gender? Or that there will always be a happy ending for people who rather not have anything other than friendship with any member of the opposite sex. If so, then I am one major exception to the rule. I'm not happy. How can I be when I know my Yuu-chan hates me? He said so himself on several occasions.

Anyway, back to my central and original train of thought. He's ignoring me and avoiding me too. I still don't get why though. What have I done? What could I have possibly done? Was it something I said? Or something I did? Or could it be…No! I refuse to believe that he found out that I'm…you know. Oh Ra! Look at me. The 'Great and Powerful King of Games,' 'The Mighty and Selfless Nameless Pharaoh,' is denying the obvious answer. I'm an idiot and a coward. Yugi said so himself. He must have somehow found out and now hates me because he's disgusted by what I've become…That must be why he thinks so lowly of me. And to think he actually looked up to me! That perfect, compassionate, loving, beautiful being, that, angel looked up to me. I was once blest enough to be called his friend, companion, hero…his dark.

But like I said before I'm positive that he hates me. He won't talk to me anymore. The mind link is always closed. He usually cold with me. He refuses me every time I ask him to go with me somewhere. He won't even make eye contact! We're drifting apart! And I'm trying, constantly, consistently! I'm always trying to reach out towards him and somehow make that arm's length smaller! Always, I'm begging him to spare me a glance! Never, have I ever stopping pleading him to accept me! Always, have I tried my very and absolute best to make him happy! I never do anything to cause him pain!

I've excelled at everything I can and thus far has been thrown my way. I'm head boy and a member of the Drama Club. The Public Relations Officer and proud member of The Historic Junior Association, the Head of The Student Council, The Choir's best baritone (Mr. Masters said that I have an exceptionally wide range). I'm the Vice President of The Language Club where I've mastered English, French, Spanish, Latin, Hindi and Greek. I'm in The School band of where I play cello, flute, bassoon, timpani and piano. I'm even The President of The School Debate Team and Vice President of The Junior Activist Club! And I do it all so that I can become as worthy as I possibly can of my dearest and most perfect Yugi! I do it all so that he'll notice me! So that I can see that look that he used to get in his shinning amethyst orbs-Gods I miss them, but he won't even look at me!-whenever I did well. And it was during those moments that I felt loved. Truly and undoubtedly loved…I felt as though nothing could make me happier. I even remember thinking that if I remind at his side, life would be perfect. That no matter what idiocy happens, or what evil entity came after us, that amidst all the ups and downs of life that we would be together. Even if it was as just friends…

For the first few months, things were great! Life with him and everyone else in this time had proven itself quite grand. I was enjoying it all. I even relished in the not so good parts. Things were absolutely perfect and I felt so content to be near him. I felt that we were becoming closer and closer with each passing day…

But I'm beginning to believe I was wrong…

Just after Christmas, which was exquisite thanks to my gorgeous Yuu-can, mistletoe, cuddling close to avoid the 'coldness' and many more things, he started to ignore and avoid me.

I was planning to confess on Valentine's Day, but he left before Grandpa and I were up, didn't answer any calls as to tell us where he was, and didn't come back till about midnight, 3 weeks later… All day long I searched for him. Every night was spent doing the same. I looked everywhere in Japan. I even called Ishizu to ask her to search every grain of sand in Egypt for Yugi. Monsters were summoned, plans were made. Yet, we found no sign of him. We hunted, scratch that, the others were sleeping when I hunted down every person who I thought even looked at my hikari in a threatening way. I set up posters and sent out messengers of monster, animal and even human kind, to spread the word. I even took money out of my account (the money that I got from selling just about one chest, full of artifacts from my tomb to the best museums) and hired private investigators to find my love. Despite all this, I devoted an hour every day to set up the surprise I had for him and stayed up to see if he came so that I could finally confess and make him mine forever. I didn't lose hope.

Finally, THREE LONG WEEKS LATER, we found him. Or rather he calmly walked into the Game Shop, said 'hi,' to the rest of the gang (who were half asleep, come on midnight!), quickly send a glare my way and then walked up to his room just as calmly. I obviously ran upstairs and started to question him…

Flashback

"YUGI! YUGI WAIT! WAIT UP, AIBOU!" I screamed.

He stopped and turned around with a fierce glare set on his face.

"What do you want?" He sneered.

But I could care less; I ran towards him and brought him into my arms.

"Where were you?! How are you?! Are you okay?! Did anything happen to you?! Did-"

He raised a hand to push himself away from me and then to do something I never thought Yugi would ever do, he slapped me. Square across the face, which snapped to the side from the force of the blow?

"Listen, Yami," he said my name as if it was trash, "You're not the boss of me, nor are you important to me, as a matter a fact you're just a unless, idiotic, jackass who sleeps in the room opposite mine! Therefore, you have no right to ask me anything much less my whereabouts!"

I was shocked into submission and my hand had risen to caress my throbbing cheek, but needed the reassurance that he was fine, "Are you positive that you're okay because I have something very important to tell you."

"Save it asshole!" Was the only answer I got before he slammed the door in my face.

I rubbed my newly bruised nose, and knocked.

"Yugi…"I call softly, "Please open up. I just want to know if anything bad happened. We were all very concerned to put it lightly. And also, while you were gone, Grandpa, he-"I choked on a sob, "Please open up…"

Silence greeted me. I was about to walk down stairs when I heard the sound of a door opening.

"Wait you bastard," I flinched at the curse but stopped anyways, I had to tell him, "what happened to Grandpa?" He asked.

"H-he, umm…Ra" I stuttered, still trying to hold back the sobs. I had yet to cry since I heard the news and it was getting harder to control myself, "He had a stroke, Yugi."

Yugi said nothing, so I continued, "He's in a coma and in the ICU right now."

"Did he say anything?" asked Yuu-chan after a bit of silence.

"The last thing he said to me was to take care of you…"I answered.

"LIES!" Screamed aibou, "HE WOULD NEVER TRUST YOU WITH ME! ESPECIALLY AFTER I TOLD HIM HOW MUCH I HATE YOU!"

"Y-you, aibou you, you hate me?!" I gasped. I didn't think it was possible. I had thought that this was just a phase that he would grow out of but, it's was becoming more apparent that that was unlikely.

"Yes…"He seethed, "And if he really said that, I hate him too. I hate you! I loathed you! I wish I had never solved the puzzle! I wish you'd just leave me alone! I wish you we're my Yami! Just. Get. A. Life! I HATE YOU SOOOOO MUCH IT HURTS! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!"

I gawked at him like a fish.

"No…No. NO! IT CAN'T BE TRUE! WE'VE THROUGH SO MUCH TOGETHER! IT CAN'T BE REAL!"I screamed.

My breaths were coming out in gasps. Lungs were trying their best to suck in air. I felt dizzy. I felt nauseous. I felt as if someone had a deathly hold on my heart and was refusing to let it go. I felt betrayed…

Apparently our shouting had alerted the gang who came thundering up the stairs.

"Well it is!" He screamed, "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! I WISH YOU'D JUST DISAPPEAR AND NEVER RETURN!"

"Yugi, aibou," I tried to reason, still struggling to breathe.

"ENOUGH! God, Yami, you're such a pussy!" He called.

"WOAH!" Said Tristan in dismay, "What the hell is goin' on here!?!"

"I'd like to know dat too Tris," stated Joey.

"Me three," Confirmed Tea.

But I ignored them.

"Just stay out of this you idiots!"Ordered Yugi.

The gang gasped.

"Now see her, Yuge" said Joey, "What the hell gotten inter yuh?"

"Yeah Yugi! What's wrong!?!" Inquired Tristan.

"Yugi, if something is wrong, you can tell us! 'Cause we're your-"

"No, don't tell me," he said. Then, putting on a fake Tea voice, he continued smiling and batting his eyelashes, "Cause we're friends! And friendship is like the most powerful thing in the entire universe! Nothing can like, defeat it! Cause it is the centre of all life! Friendship! Friendship! Friendship!!!"

Everyone (except for me, I was still trying to get in enough air) blinked.

That is, before Tristan and Joey started laughing.

"Oh but let's not forget her most endearing trait," He pause for effect before before walking over to me and batting his eyelashes and moving seductively. My breath hitched, it was torture.

Starting back in his Tea voice he continued, "Oh Yami-kins! I love you!" He threw his arms around my neck and lathering my face with kisses. Soooo painful. "I love you so much I'd just die if you didn't love me!"

He jumped into my arms and I swear I'd reached heaven. "I love the way you talk, with deep, manliest, manly voice ever!"His voice had reached two octaves or so higher that it normally was. "I love your hair, it soooo…" He'd trailed off, and had rolled his eyes, "…rebellious! And your eyes, they're like deep pools of my slutty lipstick." He deadpanned at the end.

By this time, Joey and Tristan were rolling on the floor laugh like idiots. But, I had hardly noticed them. Yuu-chan was in my arms!

Tea then screamed something I can't recall and ran from the room crying.

And though I feel slightly guilty about it now, I couldn't have cared less.

However my fairy tale soon vanished when Yugi spoke, " Oi! Baka no Kuso! Let me go!"

I complided.

"Geez, I can believe I just did that. Now I've got to take about four showers and brush my teeth at least eight times!" He shivered. "Oi! Yami," said my name like it was disgusting, "Just try to stay out of my way. I can't handle you and your bullshit."

Looking away, I just leaned on the wall and let the tears I'd been holding back, slide down my face.

I heard Yugi chuckle, "Oh, so now he's crying! What a loser! What wrong Yami-kins? Did lil' old Yu-chan hurt your feelings?"

I said nothing, I just bowed my head and cried.

"Hey, asshole! I'm talking to you!" He tried getting my attention. But, it was to no avail.

"Hey jackass, here's something to cry about." He said before punching me in the jaw.

It was at this point that Joey and Tristan had gotten up at gawked at what had happened.

"What the heck is your problem, dude!?!" Asked Tristan.

"Yeah Yuge! What's yer deal!?!" Was Joey's comment.

"Stay out of this you ameba!" Yelled Yugi.

They just started at him as if he had grown another head. He might just have, but I won't know I was on the ground trying to sort out my feelings of self-hatred, betrayal, pain, anger, misery, acceptance and my plummeting self-confidence wasn't helping.

The thought that my aibou hated me, called me all those things, just ran away like that, claimed to hate his own Grandfather and intentionally tried to hurt me, and another (Tea of all people!) had me gasping for breath much like earlier. Except it was about ten times worse. All of my fears and pain decided to rise that night. I lost track of what was being said and blissful unconsciousness welcomed me. All I know is that I when I woke up, I was in the hospital and the gang (which now consists of Joey, Tristan, Serenity, Seto (whether he wanted to admit it or not), Mokuba, Ryou, Bakura (again, whether he wants to admit or not), Malik, Marik, Ishizu, Odion and me) was there. No Yugi in sight.

Then the doctor came into the room and told me that I had had a heart attack. He also said that I should put too much stress on myself: my heart could not take the strain then. He gave me meds and ordered me take a least a week from school. I needed bed rest and a calm environment.

End Flashback

That was last week and so far, that 'calm environment' seems to have eluded me completely. Seto begged me to stay at Kaiba manor but I refused. It was strange to see the Seto Kaiba practically begging me to live with him but I couldn't bring myself too. Why? Well there was this strange but warming emotion filling his eyes and radiating off of him. Between his small smile and gentle expression, he nearly made me agree! But despite what he, Yugi and the gang want and against all their wishes, I am still Yugi's yami and as such, I will play my role. Whether they like it or not.

~Selfless Love~

~~Sakura Kiss~~

~~~Rose Scented Embrace~~~

~~Bloodly Kiss~~

~Eternal Love~

A/N: There you go!

I know, I know…You ALL wanna kill Yugi.

I kinda do too.

But!

It'll work out for the better, at least, if you review.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Sayonara,

Lolita