Okay, you'll all be thinking this is Sannepan talking here, right? But it's not! It's me, MagicByMerlin! She gets to post and I get to talk! Oi, stop chucking tomatoes at me. Don't shoot the messenger!

Anyway...this is the brand knew and spontaneous fic of madness that Sannepan and I have been working on lately. We've put our "signatures", "initials", or "what-ever-you-want-to-call-thems" at the top of each section, showing who wrote what (MBM for me and SNP for Sannepan). I suppose this is so we can be blamed according to our actions... *subsides into a fit of violent coughing*

So, here it is, The Big Angry Kings (my idea by the way)(Sannepan: Oi! It was my idea as well! Grrrr)! :D Enjoy! Oh, and this little poem thingy below is also something I wrote (because I had a short lived moment of madness).

Big angry king,

Sits on his throne,

Bashes poor Merlin;

Worthy of the sword in the stone?

MBM

Arthur Pendragon was crying. This is itself was strange, for the prince of Camelot never cried. It would be quite frowned upon by his superiors if he were seen to be doing this in public. However, he was not in public, but inside his chambers. The air was thick and heavy; it was pushing him to the ground; his grief was overwhelming. And it certainly had nothing to do with the fact his trusted manservant was lying on the floor, no longer a breath in his small, cold and tiny body. Except it had everything to do with that fact.

Hands gripping the front of Arthur's jacket to keep himself upright, Merlin had leaned in close, his eyes filled with earnest as he parted with his last words.

"Take care of yourself…and make sure…make sure…"

"What?" Arthur's voice had been hysterical, the servant dying in his arms. "What? What is it, Merlin?"

"Make sure…you get your…"

"What is it, Merlin? What is it?"

"Make sure that you get your daily nutritional man-hugs…"

And then he slipped away from him and ceased to breath, leaving the prince a sobbing wreck on the floor. And there he still was, a sorry sight, and one which could not believe that the raven-haired boy was dead. And so Arthur began to crawl across the room. He reached Merlin's side, sobbing, and shook him gently. Merlin was silent, his glassy eyes staring up towards the ceiling, almost looking through the prince. They looked so harsh in the dwindling light, like daggers shooting up to the sky.

"Merlin, please don't be dead…" Arthur shook the lifeless body once more. He chose to ignore the awful sorrow in those haunted eyes. When Merlin's broken body did not respond to him, he shook him harder, tears streaming down his face. "MERLIN, PLEASE!!!"

But Merlin could not hear him. And Arthur knew why: the boy, the servant, the friend, who had been by his side for so many adventures, really was gone, and gone somewhere where he could not follow. And it hurt.

The door creaked open; the king of Camelot stepped in. He looked sourly around the room for a moment, and then his eyes fell upon his son. Arthur was a mess, great sobs wracking his body, and in his arms he cradled a vaguely familiar figure who Uther recognized after a moment to be Merlin, Arthur's manservant.

Squaring his shoulders, the king hardened his face and spoke in a steely voice.

"I iz a big angry king and I have come to make my son's life a misery!"

But Arthur did not respond. Instead, he took hold of Merlin's hand, clasping it inside his own.

"Merlin, Merlin, please wake up…please wake up, you stupid, stupid idiot…"

Uther became disgruntled. He was not used to being ignored, and decided he did not like it in the slightest. Straightening his back, he started again.

"I iz a big angry –!"

"OH, SHUT UP!!!"

Uther blanched. Never before had he been spoken to in such a manner as this, and his expression became as that of granite. The scowl he now possessed could have been great creators dug into his face for all the outside world knew.

But Arthur didn't care. He hadn't even noticed. He was once again cradling Merlin's tiny body in his arms, and he was shivering, completely consumed in misery. It washed over his head like a wave and smothered him; he couldn't breath, and he choked into Merlin's soft black hair. Then he whispered to his servant quietly under his breath.

"Oh, Merlin…its all my fault…and I never told you how much I cared…"

Unfortunately for him, his father overheard him, and the great furrowed scowl deepened.

"You cannot behave in this ridiculous way!" he bellowed. "It's only a servant!"

"His name is MERLIN!" Arthur threw back, anger boiling up inside him at the lack of sympathy and respect his father was showing.

A huge grin spread over Uther's face. He did so enjoy making his son angry. It was fun; it made him happy, and he liked it. Arthur could see right through him, and this only made him angrier.

"You get out of my room!"

"No." The king looked bored.

"Excuse me…?" Arthur hissed, his voice low and dangerous.

"I said NOOO!" Uther lent forward, tongue stuck out.

"YOU…YOU…GET OUT!!!" Arthur screeched.

"Why?"

"You cannot lay your eyes on him!"

"On that servant? I wouldn't want to!"

"OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!" Arthur kicked him, several slaps hits and punches accompanying the said kick.

"Oi, watch it! I will disinherit you!" Uther warned, rubbing his backside.

"Like I care!" Arthur spat.

"Whatever…" The king ambled away.

Arthur sunk to the floor, in tatters. He dragged himself back to Merlin; it was somehow a comfort to be near his manservant.

"Oh, Merlin, what should I do now?" Arthur rocked him back and forth, hot wet tears trailing down his face. Merlin was silent. "What am I to do without you, my friend, my very best and truest friend?" He could barely belive the words were coming out of his mouth. And yet they still tumbled freely from his lips.

At that moment, Gwen walked in. Arthur growled at her. And Gwen walked out again.

"I won't let anyone take you away from me, Merlin, you hear me?" Arthur whispered to his friend, hugging Merlin to his chest. "I don't care if they starve me to death, they can't take me away from you…"

"Awww…"

SNP

Arthur looked up. The voice had not been his own. But nor could it have been Merlin's: his servant was still lying lifeless in his arms. But the facts were against him, for Merlin had spoken. And the two feet standing beside him resembled Merlin's pretty much. They even wore the same shoes; the legs wore the same trousers, belt, jacket, scarf and…

"Merlin?" He swallowed and blinked a few times. "Who? What? YOU'RE ALIVE!"

The prince jumped up from the floor, forgetting the limp body still in his arms. With a dull thump, a horrible sound in the silence, it fell back to the floor.

Arthur couldn't believe Merlin was alive and kicking, and just a few feet away! He was about to give his servant the biggest, bestest man-hug ever, when Merlin suddenly spoke.

"Not really," he said, as he rubbed the back of his neck. He could tell this baffled Arthur a bit. The prince's let his arms, which were ready for the man-hug, drop to his sides.

"Then why are you talking to me?" Arthur frowned. He was pretty sure Merlin was alive again; the boy spoke, breathed, everything a living person would do. Suddenly the baffled feeling disappeared, leaving him behind with the sorrow he had felt. He just knew this was too good to be true. Merlin, his friend, had come back, but was going to leave him again. The tears were about to run over his face once more.

"DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" Arthur knees buckled, and it now appeared like he was begging Merlin to stay. He pouted. Merlin chuckled and decided to let Arthur in on his secret.

"I am the Ghost of Manservant's Past," he said darkly.

"You aren't," Arthur said, coming to his feet again.

"I am!"

"You aren't!"

"I am too!" And he walked through Arthur. Merlin himself didn't feel anything of it, but Arthur gasped for air. It was like someone had opened a door and a cold, icy wind had just blown right through him, chilling him to the bone. At the same time, it felt like someone had lit a fire underneath his feet; and within seconds, it had spread to the top of his head and extinguished on it's own again. Not pleasant.

"Eeegh! Don't ever do that again!"

"Sorry. Second argument. Look," Merlin said, as he pointed to the dead body on the floor. It was still there, staring at the ceiling. Arthur blinked again. There were two Merlins present in the room, one dead one and the other…different. But he had to be a ghost.

"Anyway, I have come here to take you through all of your old menservants."

"Why?"

"So you can see how badly you have treated them," Merlin said. "Let's go."

"Umm…let's not…" Arthur trailed off, due to a very, very scary look on Merlin's face. If it had made a sound, it would have been a nasty growl. "Okay, okay, where to?"

"We shall start at the beginning," Merlin said enigmatically.