A/N: So this is my first attempt at Tony's POV, which the whole story will be in. I'm doing my best to keep it in character, but it's wicked hard! So constructive criticism is welcome, as always. And, unlike all my other stories I already have so future chapters written, I'm just reworking them trying to keep them in character.
Chapter 1
"Wait, what are you saying?" I asked as I felt like the air was being sucked out of me.
"Tony, please, do not make this more difficult than it has to be." She practically pleaded with me as her eyes, glazed with tears, stared back at me.
"I'm not sure I'm understanding what you're saying." I say as I bite back the urge to scream at her. When she just stared back at me I shook my head trying to convince her to elaborate, when she didn't I decided I'd continue. "You're pregnant, you've known for three months and you're telling me not to worry about it?"
"Yes." She said simply and I felt my cheeks turn red with agitation and anger.
"Not worry about it, what does that even mean?" I asked and watched as she pulled the sleeves on her sweatshirt down and leaned back into the corner of the couch.
"Why can you not just walk away from this?" she hissed and I felt my jaw drop slightly.
"That's what you want? For me to just walk away?" I said trying my best to keep my emotions out of my voice as I scooted closer to her on the couch.
"I just want you to be happy." She said softly as she dropped my gaze and played with the hem of her sweatshirt, which was actually my sweatshirt. In any other situation I would be trying my hardest to remove it from her and having my way.
"What does that mean?" I asked and her glare immediately settled on me. "You want me to be happy, we were happy, Ziva." I reminded her as I scooted closer to her again.
"But we are not a we and you have a new girlfriend now." She said softly as she leaned into me. I was already hating this undercover assignment Jenny had me doing, now I was hating it even more.
"Ziva." I tried but she placed her hand on my chest and tried to push away from me but I instinctively wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close to me.
"Tony, please stop." She broke as she buried her face into my neck. I felt a few of her hot tears on my skin and I pulled her tighter against me. I had never seen Ziva David, Mossad assassin slash ninja, cry. I kissed the top of her head and that had some how brought her back to reality and she forcefully pulled away from me.
"What?" I asked as I lay back against the couch defeated.
"You should go." She told me as she wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her hoodie.
"No, we're not done talking." I argued and she shook her head at me. "Ziva, please."
"Please what?" she asked confused. "Just walk away, Tony. Go back to your life. We both agreed to act like this summer never happened."
"You're pregnant, Ziva." I told her roughly. "How can you expect me to forget and walk away?" I know I have a reputation of an asshole, but jeez I thought Ziva at least didn't think of me like that.
"Tony, just go back to your life. Forget tonight, forget this summer." She pleaded with me. I shook my head slightly, fighting off the urge to scream at her.
"I can't do that!" I growled and she looked at me surprised.
"Why, why are you having so much difficulty with this?" she asked frustrated as she clenched her fists.
"You're asking me to abandon you and our friggin' kid." I hissed. "That's difficult for me, sorry."
"Why?" she yelled. "You do not want a child." I opened my mouth to protest and ask how she knew what I wanted but she placed her finger over my lips and gave me a look that I knew meant shut up. "You are in a serious relationship for the first time, and you are happy, live that life."
"Live that life." I repeated quietly. What the hell did that mean? I dropped my head into my hands and sighed.
Why was I fighting this again? She was giving me a clean, easy way out, and she wanted me to take it. She knew I didn't want a kid, that the simple idea of being a father scared the shit out of me. Leaving Ziva alone with the baby while I went around and pretended to be a perfect boyfriend to some daughter of an arms dealer wasn't a life I wanted to live either. Wait, she never actually said she was keeping the baby, she just said she was pregnant.
"I am keeping it." She clarified and I looked up at her shocked. "You are very easy to read."
"Thanks?" I laughed nervously.
"Are you ready to go?" she asked with a yawn. I chose to ignore that comment and question her more.
"You been to the doctors yet?" I asked and her face softened.
"Yes." I waited for more but it never came. I didn't even have a movie I could reference this moment to.
"So that's it?" I asked. "You expect me to walk away and forget I knocked you up, and what are you gonna do?"
"Knocked me up?" was all she got out it, of course.
"Got pregnant." I clarified and she nodded. "Ziva, what do you plan on doing?"
"What do you mean?" she asked as her big brown eyes settled on mine and I couldn't help but wonder if our child would inherit those eyes, brown eyes were a dominate trait.
"You said you're keeping the baby, what's your plan?" I asked again and risked scooting closer to her.
"Tell everyone, deal with everyone. Tell my father, deal with my father." She laughed sarcastically. "Have the baby and play it by nose."
"Ear, it's play it by ear." I laughed as I tucked a stray curl behind her ear.
"Tony." She said seriously again as she pushed my hand away. Why is it that she can always remember I have a girlfriend but I can't? "Go, be happy."
"Stop telling me to be happy and live my life and that I don't want a baby." I exploded standing from the couch and looking down at her. "We. Were. Happy." I said as I pointed back and forth between us with each word. "If we weren't, you wouldn't be pregnant." She scoffed and looked away from me. "Okay?"
"Okay." She said and turned her head slightly looking at me like I was retarded. "Are you done now?"
"Yes." I nodded and sat on the coffee table across from her.
"What are you doing?" she asked with another yawn. I should really go and let her get to bed, but I know as soon as I walk out that door, this conversation will be over.
"We're still talking." I said bluntly, I was exhausted myself.
"No, Tony, you are talking. Talking in circles and it is starting to drive me balls."
"Nuts." I automatically corrected. "You were doing good there for awhile too."
"Shut up." She sulked as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"Ziva." I said and reached out and took her hands in mine and idly ran my thumb over her knuckles. "What do you want? What would make you happy?"
"You going back to being Tony, Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo." She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. "I think a baby would suffocate you, I do not want that for you."
"What about you?" I asked softly not sure what to say to her last sentence. A screaming baby all through out the night, that would always need changing and feeding and attention wasn't something I would enjoy. "Why are you giving me an out?"
"Because you have one, Tony." She said as she took her hand from mine and placed it on my cheek. "Take it." She whispered softly.
"Do you want a baby, Ziva?" I asked as I leaned into her touch. "This baby?" My baby.
"Yes." She said barely above a whisper. "I enjoyed taking care of Tali, I just hope this time things will end up differently." She said as she looked away from me to a picture on her mantel. "I want something new, something completely innocent. Try and raise a child the right way, not as an assassin or cold hearted. I admit now is not the ideal time, but I do not know if I would ever have the opportunity and now that I do, I want to take it."
"Yeah." I agreed as I held her gaze. I fucking wanted that too, but not right now. Not with this undercover op. "When do you plan on telling Gibbs?"
"Tomorrow." She said obviously grateful that I changed the topic. God, when Gibbs finds out that I fathered Ziva's baby, I'm so dead. "I am just going to tell him it was a one night stand."
"You're going to lie to Gibbs?" I laughed and she glared at me. "Good luck."
"Gibbs hates getting into our personal lives, Tony." She laughed and yawned again.
"So, I guess that's it." I sighed. A heavy, miserable weight settling in my chest. "You want me to walk away?"
"Tony, we are not going through this again." She sighed. "Right now, do you want to be a father?"
"No." I said honestly, knowing she would know if I was lying any way. "But I don't want to be a douche bag either." I said running my hand through my hair trying to hide my nerves. "My father didn't even do that, he was at least there for me to hate on."
"Not the same thing." She said with another, loud yawn. "Tony, stop trying to fight it. Go home, call your girlfriend, get some sleep, I will see you tomorrow at work."
"What are you gonna tell your dad?" I asked as she stood and pulled me up by hand and led me to her door.
"Goodnight Tony." She laughed and leaned up and kissed my cheek.
"Almost got it." I laughed as I cupped her face and kissed her soundly. She resisted against me for a second but soon gave in and ran her tongue against my lips. I happily granted her access and pushed her back against the door. Ziva David was an amazing kisser, that was fact. I easily ran my hand under her sweatshirt and felt the small bumps, which sadly brought us back to reality.
"Tony." She said breathlessly as she pushed me away slightly.
"You have a bump." I said dumbly as I stared at her but didn't remove my hand from her warm skin.
"It is small." She said as she shivered under my gaze and I smirked, I loved getting reactions out of Ziva.
"It is." I agreed as I pushed her sweatshirt up and studied the tan, taunt skin. I hesitantly ran my hand over the warm skin as she stared at me. There was a baby in Ziva David's stomach, and I was the reason why. Pride settled over me. I got Ziva David pregnant, talk about an ego boost. This baby would be, literally, living proof of the summer we spent together.
"Tony?" she questioned softly and I dropped my hand and pulled her sweatshirt back down.
"I can't." I said shaking my head.
"You can't?" she repeated confused.
"I can't just leave."
"I am asking you to, Tony." Ouch. She said once again placing her hand on my cheek. "Go, forget this. You have your girlfriend now, maybe that will turn into something."
"But this turned into something." I whined and she laughed at me. "We're good together, Ziva."
"That is why we are such great partners." She said softly and dropped her hand from cheek.
"Yeah, I guess." I said finally accepting defeat. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight Tony." She said again. I nodded and kissed her cheek, refusing to realize I'd just walked away from the woman carrying my child, but she wanted me to.