The First Time That Should Have Been

A/N: So, I had been sending this out to anyone who reviewed. Lately, though, I've been HORRIBLE at review replies, so I'm just posting it. Again - to the people who've taken time to review this story, just know that you made my day every single time. This takes place shortly after Bella's Chapter ends, and obviously YEARS before the epilogue.

"We're alone in the house," Bella observed shortly after Esme and Carlisle had wished them a good afternoon and evening. Alice and Jasper were on an all expense paid trip to the deep South that had been Esme and Carlisle's graduation present to Jasper. Esme and Carlisle were attending some function or another and Bella had only a morning class at summer school for that particular day.

Edward sat on her bed, pulling her down beside him. "You're very observant today," he teased, putting his arms around her.

Bella bit her lip.

She had been thinking about sex. A lot.

Edward seemed content to take things at her pace . He had definitely seemed pleased at the dry humping and light petting they'd done.

They hadn't really talked about their first time. Which meant they hadn't really talked about their next time.

Bella was very interested in their next time at this point.

"It doesn't happen very often," she hedged.

Edward furrowed his eyebrows, knowing she was holding something back. "Talk to me, Bella," he requested.

Bella sighed. He could read her so well. She sat up against the headboard and he copied her motions, sitting with their sides pressed together.

"I wish -" Bella cut off. She took a deep breath, frustrated with herself for being so nervous. This was Edward. She could trust Edward. "I was thinking about our - our first time," she said in a rush. She felt her face grow hot and she continued. "I mean - I was just wondering... if things had been normal, how it would have happened."

"Oh, Bella," Edward said softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and trailing his fingers through her hair. "There is so much I would have loved to have given you." He kissed her softly, brushing his lips against hers before applying any pressure. "We would have talked about it first."

"Talk?" she asked, her voice breathy and somewhat distracted by his featherlight kisses.

"Talking is important. If I had known sex was what you wanted, I could have asked you a lot. Like if you would be more comfortable if you were on top," he explained.

She shook her head. "I wanted you on top. I want you on top now. I know that's boring..."

He interrupted her by placing a finger on her lips. "It's not boring, Bella. It's not like I've had anymore sex than you have. You see what I mean about talking?" He kissed her nose. "We fit together well, baby." He kissed her forehead. "We'll learn together. I'm not in any rush, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay." She hesitated. "Edward? Was it what you wanted?" she asked, unsure if she really wanted the answer.

He stroked her cheek soothingly. "What I wanted was you. I didn't know that you were ready - and yeah, I know now that neither of us really were. I wanted to give you something other than James ' house but that doesn't change the fact that I love you. I want you. All of you. No conditions." He looked her square in the eye, speaking slowly to make sure every word sank in. "It has always been you, Bella. Ever since I've known what sex was I've wanted it to be you. That's what really matters."

Her eyes flickered nervously for a moment, but what she saw written all over his face was undeniable. He loved her. He wanted her.

And she was ready. "I want you now. I'm ready now," she said quietly. "If you are."

She laid back into the pillows, her hands resting palm up by her head. It was a passive position. She was giving all of herself - including her trust - to him.

Edward swallowed thickly and as he searched her eyes. He couldn't see any trepidation there. She wasn't pushing herself. She just was. She was there and his and he loved her. He could see the love reflected back at him in the depths of her eyes.

He thought again about their first time and had to fight back a grimace at how fast it had been - how fast he had been. At the time it had been hard to process. One moment she was holding back the next her shirt was off and her breasts were there. He almost didn't realize what was happening before he was inside her and she was wincing in pain.

Not this time. He thought vehemently.

He drew his fingers down the bridge of her nose, lingering at the tip. She watched him through hooded eyes, her lips open just the slightest amount as she took even breaths. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, enjoying the feel of the light flush he saw there, and when his knuckle passed over her lips she kissed it softly.

Edward leaned down, kissing her slowly and softly while his hand stroked her cheek. He was in no rush. This is what their first time should have been like - soft, slow, tender.

Bella lifted one hand and ran her fingers through his hair. It felt amazing.

Without breaking their kiss or stopping the way their tongues languidly tangled together, Edward put his hand on the first buttoned button of her shirt. He waited. When she didn't tense, he deftly undid that button. He waited again, resting the pads of his fingers on her exposed skin. She shivered, but only from the titillating feeling of his light touch.

Encouraged, Edward undid the next button. Then the third. Then the last.

Bella had moved her lips to his chin where she was pressing tiny kisses as he tried to make himself calm down. He was getting way too excited over the prospect of her bare flesh and he wanted to be gentle.

Tentatively, he moved his hand to cover her belly. Bella let out a soft gasp. His feather light touches were driving her crazy.

In a very, very good way.

Edward smirked, recognizing the flush on her face. She was still here with him and she was turned on.

As his hands moved up her torso to her breasts he could feel how turned on she was. Her nipples were straining against her simple white bra. He paused again, pulling back minutely to gauge her comfort, but she followed him, kissing him hungrily now.

A little slightly awkward wrestling and she was out of her clothes completely. Edward could feel her heart hammering against her chest but the look in her eyes was nervous - not ashamed. She bit her lip, watching his eyes travel over her bare body.

He kissed her hard until she was breathless. "You're so beautiful," he murmured against her ear.

Bella felt a thrill of lust, love and passion go through her. She allowed herself a brief moment to relish the fact that, once again, when he was kissing her, she honestly felt beautiful.

Then Edward laid down beside her, assuming the same passive position she had. Bella smiled, realizing what he was doing. She propped herself up on her elbow and cupped his cheek as she kissed him. Her hands moved to the hem of his shirt and he helped her tug it off.

A little shy, and flushed red, Bella explored Edward's skin with her hands. She loved finding sensitive spots that made him gasp or moan. She loved that she could elicit that response from him.

When they had worked themselves up into something of a tizzy, Bella laid back down on the bed, tugging Edward over with her. With his body pressing against hers - all her warmth and soft curves just so good beneath him - it was difficult for Edward to stop, but he had to know.

"Bella, we don't - " he started.

"Edward Masen I swear if you stop right now I'm going to ... do... something." It was hard to think with him surrounding her like he was.

Edward smirked at her. "Something, hmm?" he teased, the tense moment completely erased. "Like what?"

She growled at him and he pressed tiny kisses against her lips, pressing his teeth into her skin without biting down in quick nips. "Anything I can think of threatening you with involves parts of you I'd rather not endanger," she whispered between kisses.

He laughed. She giggled.

He reached between them to guide his cock to her entrance, teasing her skin lightly with it. He reclaimed her lips as he pushed inside of her slowly.

Edward shuddered, loving how being buried in her felt like home. Bella moaned against his lips, feeling filled and complete. There was a little discomfort - it had been so long and it was, after all, only their second time. Any discomfort was easily overridden though by the intense emotion that passed between them as Edward started moving inside of her. His thrusts were slow and he kept eye contact with her the entire time.

And Bella knew. This is what it was to make love.

The sensation of pleasure traveled through her and enveloped her - surrounded them both.

Bella drew her knees up, sliding her legs up along Edward's sides, moving her hips in time with his. They didn't speak or kiss, just watched each other with love and delight. They each savored the look of the other - both awash in a light sheen of sweat and the flushed glow of their lovemaking.

In their bubble of intensity they were rewriting old associations. Where sex had once been connected to the emotions of guilt, fear and even shame, that afternoon they overwrote all of that with pleasure, passion and most definitely love.

PS - they are being safe, just fyi. Esme and Carlisle aren't dumb-shits. They put Alice and Bella on birth control cuz, yea, sorry their boyfriends live in the same fucking house. LOL.

Thanks to Twanza for looking this over for mistakes.