Author's Note: Hey peeps! Long time no see! Been working on this one on and off for a while now. But now I present to you, my first semi-songfic! Inspired by the song Discovery Channel by Bloodhound Gang. Shit, I love that song.

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Not the characters or the song. I just own the writing.

Warning: There is SMUT. And lots of it. As in lemony deliciousness.

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With a Mop and Bucket

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The grey water-saturated strands of cloth that had been washed God knows how many times of God knows what kind of shit were smeared across the cracked-tile surface that had been cleaned God knows how many times. Back and forth, back and forth, dunk into bucket, slosh around, repeat. Shit, what was that crap? Probably crap, actually. Scrub, scrub, slosh, dunk. Since when had it been funny to make the dude who got pulled out of bed playing video games go to work just to have him scrub the floor in the ladies restroom after closing? If that wasn't enough already, they had left him to lock the bar up as well. Damn coworkers. They even had the nerve to reason with Roxas about the whole issue. Hey, he was the closest thing to a lady that they had working there, so might as well make him scrub the floors in their bathroom. Roxas boiled at that. Sure, his ass was the equivalent to a vagina when he wanted it to be, but that didn't mean he could pop babies out of it every fucking nine months.

But alas, here he was, scrubbing the floor with a dated mop and bucket. They didn't even have a swiffer mopper, for fuck's sake. It was one of those old janitor style ones that elementary schools still had. Yellow wheely bucket and all. All he was missing was a shrieking ten year old girl saying that there was a pervert in the girl's bathroom.

Cue doorknob rattle and shriek of old rusty hinges.

Roxas rolled his eyes and said to the intruder, in the most drab and bored voice he could muster, "Sorry, the bathroom is clearly closed for cleaning. Which also means that the bar is closed, so I'd suggest going home to piss unless you want me to call the bouncer to come get you out." Whoever it was didn't need to know that the bouncer had already left. Damn it, Roxas knew he should have given the place a run-around to see that everyone had cleared out. Oh well, it was his own fault that there was still someone there. They must've been sitting in the back and hadn't seen everyone leave. Or they'd passed out on the floor.

What Roxas didn't expect was a deep, slightly rasping voice respond with an amused, "Well, aren't you the helpful one."

He looked up from the mop and floor to see a very much not-woman standing in the open doorway, hip jutting to one side just enough to make Roxas's heart flip pleasantly. He stifled the smirk that was trying its best to force its way onto his face and continued to suck in the appearance of the man standing not ten feet from him. "You do realize that this is the women's restroom."

"Doesn't seem to be stopping you." Oh, he was a cocky one. The way he tossed his head to the side slightly, amazingly red spiked hair following, just seemed to fit with his whole persona. And damn, did it make him hot.

Roxas narrowed his gaze into a leer, determined to not allow the guy's charm break his cool. "This is my job, dumbshit." He continued swabbing, the dude just standing in the doorway, holding the door open with his foot. Why wasn't he leaving?

The redhead cocked his head to the side, an interesting look taking over his cocky demeanor. "So, do you always talk like that to women who want to piss while you're cleaning?" He released the door as he spoke, and it swung slowly shut.

Roxas let out an annoyed huff, stopping his swabbing, and leaned into the mop pole for support. He rolled the eyes that so many people had told him were the most enchanting shade of cerulean. He lifted his fingers to count as he listed off his answers to the redhead. "First of all, nobody should even be trying to use the bathrooms now, since we closed a good half hour ago. Second, I don't give a shit about women. Third, you try having janitor duty after everyone else left when you should've gotten the day off of work but had to come in because the bar was short staffed."

"That's some love and dedication, right there." The dude was smirking again and all Roxas could think about was how incredibly sexy he was. Damn it…

He thought it best to keep things to a minimum. "The only love here is the bonus on my next paycheck. Or maybe it's the crusted cum on the floor." He continued scrubbing said surface, ignoring the guy now leaning his back against the sink counter. After a moment of silence, Roxas stole a glance back up and, sure enough, he was still there, watching him. His glance turned into a glare. "I told you that the bathroom is closed for cleaning."

The redhead shrugged casually, waving off the problem. "That's alright. I'll just wait for you to be done."

"In that case, I don't think I'll finish." He picked up the mop and stuffed it back into the bucket, staring back defiantly. He was very much aware that the men's restroom had already been cleaned and locked, thanks to him. The dude would have no choice but to leave.

The redhead just stared back, throwing him a teasing leer. "Get nervous when people watch you scrub floors?"

Roxas crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his hip against the sinks, leering back. "I'm just waiting for you to say that I missed a spot."

The guy only smirked. "You did."

"Shut up," the blond snapped in return, picking up the mop again. He continued to scrub the floor with a newfound vengeance for all the shit stuck to the cracked tile surface.

The dude tilted his head back, staring mindlessly at the ceiling, and tried to continue to make conversation. "So, how'd you get stuck doing bathroom duty? You should be up at the bar mixing drinks. You'd be much prettier than that guy who was there tonight." Pretty? Not many people had called him pretty before; not since he was like, ten, when people couldn't tell that he wasn't a girl. HHe wasn't entirely sure if he liked it or not.

Talking to a stranger who is more of a sex God than a human being, however? Hell, why not? "Squall isn't your type? People usually drool over his scar, like it makes him that much sexier."

He shrugged, eyes wandering aimlessly about the room. Not that there was much to see. Roxas started to doubt that the guy actually did have to take a piss. Any other guy would have just given him a screw you and left by then. Maybe a flip of a middle finger, if he was lucky. "Sure, it adds mystery, but there's no badass and fiery persona behind his cold looks. He's just sort of… there, you know? Quite unlike yourself." At that, those cat-like eyes returned to Roxas, who stared back, a strange look on his face and unknown emotions flickering through him.

He sniffed defiantly, raising a blond eyebrow. "So you think you've got me figured out?"

The redhead shrugged. "Nothing like watching someone clean bathroom floors to see their true colors." Well, there had to be some truth behind that somewhere. Roxas just gave him the benefit of the doubt.

He stopped scrubbing. "Okay. So you know me now. How about you mop for a bit and I can figure you out?" He offered the handle to the guy, who made no move to retrieve it from his grasp. Not that Roxas blamed him. There was probably some hella bacteria and fungus on the wooden handle. Note to self: scrub hands with a pre-surgery precision in the near future.

The redhead smirked, twirling his hand as he explained. "Oh, I'd love to take your job and all, but that's not how you figure me out."

Roxas took back the mop, dumping it back into the bucket. "So what, do I have to watch you wash dishes?" He shot back, using his wit to the best of his ability.

"Love, the kind you clean up with exactly what you're holding." The blond bar worker could have sworn he saw the very tip of the guy's tongue sweep his bottom lip.

Roxas looked at the mop sitting in the bucket, then back to the guy, and back down. Oh… oh. Oh. He sputtered out a single laugh-cough hybrid and could feel his ears flushing. "Wow, that's forward."

The guy ignored Roxas and took a glance at his watch as if he hadn't just made an extremely sexual comment. "Oh, look at that. It's that one time a year where 1 o'clock happens twice."

Roxas gulped down his stutter from the guy's previous comment, pulling the mop out again and sloshing it around distractedly. "Daylight Savings Time?"

"And thus starts the extra hour of the night. So, what're we supposed to do with this time warp?" The teasing in the redhead's voice was driving Roxas mad, but he made sure not to show an ounce of how it was affecting him. Though, he couldn't stop the bit of blood that rushed into his groin.

"Finish cleaning?" He replied dully.

He hummed as if thinking about it ever so deeply before replying, "But you don't really want to be spending this special time with a mop and bucket."

Roxas gave up on mopping the same square foot of floor that he had been scrubbing for the past few minutes and abandoned the mop, leaning it against the door of one of the toilet stalls. "I don't, do I?" He folded arms over his chest, leaning against sinks, just as the redhead was, staring at him expectantly.

He smiled and asked, "What's your name?"

"Yours first," Roxas shot back.

The redhead shrugged. "Alright. I'm Axel. I expect you to have that memorized. You'll need it." Axel winked.

The blond raised his chin slightly in recognition before responding with a simple, "Roxas."

Axel's grin grew and he growled, "Roxas… nice. So, what's my name?"

Roxas snorted cockily. "What, you forgot it?"

Axel shoved himself away from the sinks, a predatory glow behind his cat-like green eyes. "Say it. Nice and slow."

The blond smirked. "Oh, so you want to play that game, do you?" Shit, did this guy really know how to get him.

Axel shrugged once more. "Hey, it's basic ritual. We ain't nothin' but mammals, babe." Couldn't argue with that logic.

Roxas tapped an index finger on his chin flirtatiously. "So you're suggesting that we should just rut like animals in a filthy women's restroom in the bar that I work at? I might have to question your blood alcohol percent."

Axel hummed in thought, slowly advancing towards the blond, who watched his motions carefully. "Not enough for a hangover. I've got work in the morning. How about you?"

"Well, we aren't allowed to drink on the job. So just one or two shots when the boss wasn't looking." Roxas absently tapped his fingers on the tiled surface of the sink that he had soaped and scrubbed before starting with the mop and bucket.

The redhead smirked and almost growled, "Good. Wouldn't want to take advantage of you in a drunken state."

"We're in a time warp; would it really matter?" Roxas smirked up at the redhead, who had made his way to stand just before him. "Nothing we do now is really happening."

Axel's eyebrows shot up and Roxas noted that they were quite unique, like he actually spent time to make them look nice. "Good point."

"The logic is astounding, I know." The blond tossed his head to the side, flicking the bangs from his eyes.

"Makes perfect sense to me." Axel smirked and Roxas noticed for the first time the dark tattoos on his cheeks. Wicked.

Roxas continued teasing him. "You're just saying that because you want to get in my pants." And damn, did Roxas want that guy in his pants… Shit, this was getting a bit out of hand. But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Axel shrugged. "Well, you caught me." He leaned and put his hands on the edge of the sink on either side of the blond. "Do I have your consent?" Oh shit, there was that tongue sweeping his bottom lip again…

"Doesn't look like I have a choice, now." Not that he would want it any other way.

The redhead shook his head slightly. "Babe, you always have a choice."

He took hold of the collar of Axel's shirt with one hand, the other trailing over his arm enticingly. "It's Roxas, not babe. I expect you to remember that." His smirk grew wider and threw the redhead's word back at him. "Now say it slowly."

Axel's eyes darkened a few shades, pupils dilating just slightly. The blond stared at him expectantly, mimicking the redhead's tongue sweep. "Roxas," he hissed out, drawing out the name as he was told. The blond smirked, tugging on Axel's collar and brining their lips together, meeting, hot and passionate.

They explored each other's mouths diligently, tasting and experimenting. Much were the movements of their hands on and around the other's body. Roxas's skin seemed to be on fire underneath Axel's wandering fingers. The redhead's tongue dove deeply into his mouth, at the same time as he grabbed the blond's middle between his palms in a possessive manner. Out of instinct and desire, his teeth sunk down on the tongue invading his mouth, earning a moaning gasp of surprise from the other.

He pulled away and stared into challenging crystal cerulean eyes. "That was uncalled for," he growled, though in his eyes, Roxas could see that he was amused.

"Was it?" Roxas swept his own tongue slowly over his kiss-swollen lips, staring up at the guy, sporting a seductive smirk. That look was wiped clean off of his face when a curious and revengeful hand dipped beneath the hem of Roxas's pants, fingers trailing down to his tailbone, seeking his entrance.

Roxas was forced to tilt his head back and moan through clenched teeth. Shit, it'd been too long since he was touched like that. Far, far too long since he had let anyone get this close and intimate.

Axel hummed knowingly, now having the ultimate upper hand. "A bit desperate, are we?"

The blond glared at him and snarled, hissing through clenched teeth a strained, "Shut up."

"Oh, this'll be fun." He chuckled. "I'll have you begging for more in no time."

Oh shit, he was in trouble. Not only was he more than 'a bit desperate,' this guy knew just how to tease Roxas to his wit's end. He was determined not to give in and let the redhead win his little game. But both knew that he wouldn't last long at all.

Axel took a handful of Roxas's collared shirt and tugged him forward until their lips met, hot and almost punishing. Before he knew it, Axel had already undone the small white buttons that swept down the front of his shirt, revealing his bare chest beneath. The lips left his own in favor of sucking the newly revealed neck of the late-night bar worker. The hand not massaging his tail bone went to work circling a perked nipple, the hot mouth at his neck working against his flushed skin, teeth dragging and nipping gently.

The caressing lips moved slowly down to Roxas's chest, the blond sucking in needy breaths, his hand buried in soft red hair. The tongue he had so recently bitten slowly circled a nipple as the other was pinched lightly. The bar worker had to bite his lip to keep himself from crying out.

"Fuck," Roxas whispered instead.

Axel pulled away from his chest briefly. "What was that?" He teased.

Roxas growled, but refused to respond. What he had really wanted to say was a firm 'me,' but the monster that was his pride made him unwilling to give in. His neglected hard-on, however, was screaming for a release, pressed painfully against his tight pants. It was all Roxas could do to not reach around, undo his fly, and beat one out.

"I'll break you yet." There was that steamy voice at his ear once again. "Just you wait."

Roxas clenched his teeth, trying to straighten his posture. "Like hell I'll- Ah!" The lips were back on his chest and working on his nipples and he lapsed into a series of un-restrainable moans. It seemed an eternity before Axel dipped lower, almost biting the skin on his abdomen, just below Roxas's belly button. Thirsting eyes turned downwards, only to see nimble hands working at his belt buckle, button and fly. Roxas swallowed thickly, the release the motion caused such a satisfying feeling, especially in his hot and bothered state that he couldn't help but be in.

Those darkened, devious green eyes glanced upward, an animalistic grin spread across Axel's tattooed face. Roxas bit his lower lip to try, in vain, to cover the yearning expression he had tried so hard to restrain. Those lips continued once again, just above the hem of the blond's exposed boxers. A hot, skilled hand that had been hovering on his lower back dipped suddenly downwards, taking advantage of the looseness of the low-riding and undone pants. He bit back yet another moan as the needy fingers dug into the soft flesh of his ass. He wasn't about to give in that easily. But, though he would never admit it, his defenses were breaking rapidly.

Roxas dared not look as both his pants and boxers were teased downwards, focusing mainly on not screaming in frustrated pleasure at all the small, taunting touches and hot kisses on very much sensitive parts. But none of the tantalizing touches came nearly close enough for Roxas to call satisfying.

"Hey, Roxas." A voice broke through the fog rushing through his otherwise occupied mind. The sound of his name said in that sultry, smooth way brought those crystal cerulean eyes downwards, and he met a very much amused and hungry gaze. "I think you are enjoying this too much."

To the best of his ability, Roxas kept a moan from his voice. "So don't stop." The fingers dug deeper into his ass in response, drawing a whisper of a gasp from the blond and a deep, airy chuckle from the one administering the pleasure. A hot tongue snaked out and caught the bead of precum on the blond's tip. That time, Roxas couldn't hold back the moan that had been yearning to be released. His hand caught red spikes and fingers tangled in the fire-like mane, urging him forward, to continue his ministrations. Axel, no matter how much Roxas wanted for it to be so much more, continued his teasing, never quite giving the blond the satisfaction of what he desired.

If Roxas wasn't a hot mess before, he definitely was one then. Every nerve in his body was on fire. His knees shook, barely able to support his weight even with his other hand clenched around the edge of the sink. Breathing heavily and eyes clenched shut, Roxas didn't realize that the redhead had stood and towered before him once more. It was only when those lips whispered to his ear that he became aware of the hips pressed to his own, keeping him supported on his feet by crushing him against the sink.

"You ready to give in yet?" Fingers trailed the length of Roxas's thighs, slowly easing them apart.

Roxas wasted no more time. His hands automatically went for Axel's fly and attacked it. "These have to be dealt with first." As the blond was working, Axel swept of his own shirt in one fluid motion. And then the pants dropped. Then there it was, in all its glory, saluting the world. Axel dove in with those lips, no further inhibitions, and began to steadily suck at Roxas's neck.

The blond could feel his partner's erection brush his own and impulsively clutched him closer. The groins collided most satisfactorily and Roxas allowed another moan to escape. Axel grinned against his neck and rolled his hips just enough to get some friction. But that was plenty to drive the blond off the edge. He tore his head back, sucking in an almost painfully pleasurable breath.

That hot whisper was back in Roxas's ear. "Say it, Roxas." As he spoke, a teasing hand trailed down the rather compromised blond's spine, making him arc and moan.

"I-I want you…" He swallowed thickly. "I-inside me."

"Inside you, what?" The words were like lava flowing over Roxas's skin.

Roxas gave in. He was far too gone to even think for the briefest moment that he could possibly hold out for any more time. The luscious serpent ravishing his flesh sent lightning down his spine and he- he wanted more. "Please, Axel!"

Axel smirked against the tender flesh under the blond's chin. Exactly the two words he had been waiting to hear from the keening boy. "And there it is." One of the burning hands left Roxas, the flesh cold with its absence. A square packet that came from God knows where was brought to Axel's lips and torn open. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Roxas couldn't help but be awed at this guy's preparedness as he rolled the condom on his erection.

"You can never be too safe," Axel whispered hotly into Roxas's ear, who couldn't help but squirm in anticipation.

He couldn't withhold the name that leapt from somewhere deep in his throat. "Axel…"

The redhead grinned, now unable to restrain his own panting breaths. "Damn, you really are something." His hand ran down the length of the bar worker's thigh, over behind his knee, and down his calf. "Can't do much with these shoes on, can we?" He struggled for a moment, Roxas cursing himself a thousand times over for wearing his hightops to work that day, and finally the shoe came off, along with the restraining pant leg. He moved to remove the second shoe when the keening blond took a handful of red locks and pulled him back to eye-level. Impatience turned up to the max, he growled, "Leave it." He needed something, and he needed it soon. He took two long fingers into his mouth, ignoring the amused glint in those green eyes towering over him. Soon, the slick fingers were trailing close to his entrance and, one by one, they were pressed in. Roxas bit his lower lip as he was stretched out, so slowly, so expertly, and so enticingly.

Roxas groaned. "Enough." He fisted the red locks once more. "Fuck me."

Axel growled in response, a guttural throaty sound that vibrated Roxas to his core. "My pleasure." He pressed in slowly, moaning, eyebrows knitted. Roxas could do nothing but suck in breaths, adjusting to the intrusion that was most welcome. He hooked his shoeless leg around the man's waist, and he began to move. Slowly at first, thrusts growing harder and fiercer. Roxas cried out in ecstasy from the onslaught, arcing away from the sink counter to meet the pounding hips of his partner. Quickly losing his ability to keep the blond upright and from collapsing, the pair did a quick position change. Roxas, facing the mirror above the sink while bracing himself on the counter, released a string of keening moans as Axel took him from behind, meeting his prostate with each thrust.

Feeling his own destitute erection screaming for some kind of release, Roxas reached forward, only to be thwarted in his attempt to satisfy himself. A hand snaked around and grabbed his own, pressing it to the mirror before them. Roxas whimpered slightly, struggling half-heartedly against the hand keeping his captive. His disappointment was eased as Axel pressed his lips to his neck, hot breaths flowing over the kiss that stung as he sucked punishingly at the tender flesh. A mark of possession, even if the ownership only lasted for that one time-warped hour.

A hand snaked around Roxas's waist and, finally, he got the release he had been aching for. His turgid member was taken into the firm hand, thumb rubbing roughly across the tip. Roxas threw his head back and let out a stream of moans, letting the fervor of the moment consume his being. He gave in and relinquished himself to the ravaging redhead, too taken by the pleasure to do anything but be completely dominated.

They continued on, thrusting and grinding bodies dripping with sweat, all else around them forgotten for the time being. It was just the two of them, in the endless void of thrill. Roxas cracked his eyes and stared at the reflection in the mirror before them. He saw his own flushed cheeks, but just over his shoulder, the darkened, lust-filled gaze met his. The grin that he saw was one of utter content, masked by a cocky demeanor. As if this was a cue, Axel latched his teeth on Roxas's shoulder, just at the base of his neck, a sting of pain that was very much welcomed followed. The blond moaned the other's name, and he chuckled breathily in response, burying himself deeper into Roxas, who choked on a breath of ecstasy.

It wasn't long until Roxas reached his threshold and could no longer contain himself. He spilled himself onto the counters he had so recently wiped down, crying out in ecstasy. It took a few more thrusts before Axel stiffened and released an unearthly moan of pure bliss. It took the pair a moment, collapsed forward onto the sink, sucking in needy breaths, to gain their bearing. A moment later, the realization that they had both had fantastic sex in a women's restroom hit, and yet they couldn't care for anything other than the heat still radiating from the other.

Axel found his footing, pressing himself away to keep from completely crushing the blond, ridding himself of the soiled condom. Roxas took this opportunity to turn, latching himself around the redhead, biting, sucking and gnawing at the crook between his neck and shoulder, intent on leaving a hefty festering wound as a thank you. It was the least he could do, seeing that he could feel the sting of two hickeys on his own neck. Sweat-slick skin emanated heat beneath his fingers that pulled the redhead closer to him, and he was all to inclined to comply.

"Hey," that deep voice vibrated in his chest, "we could go to my place, if you want."

Roxas pulled away from the one fuck of a hickey he was giving, finishing it with a delicate kiss, and looked up to meet those devilish green eyes. "I thought you had work in the morning."

He winced at that, suddenly remembering. "Shit, you're right." Long fingers trailed through short blond spikes gently, and Roxas melted at the sensation.

Roxas clutched him tighter, invitingly. "I work here most nights. You know where to find me," he added on, a sly grin crossing his features.

"Does that include tomorrow night?" He sounded hopeful.

"That depends," Roxas almost purred.

"On what?"

The blond met his gaze, a glint of humor in his eye. "Did this actually happen, or did the time warp make it unreal?"

Axel grinned. "I never set my watch back an hour. I don't think I could pass this off as never happening. I wouldn't want to forget you, kid." And he knew he had the redhead hooked. Oh, had the tides turned.

Roxas rolled his eyes and shoved the redhead away playfully. "Don't call me kid, Axel."

"So, what shall I call you?" He asked as Roxas worked on getting his pants back on. Struggled, more like. It was amazing how tangled up a pair of pants can become from being around one leg.

Finally able to pull the pants up, Roxas stood and began buttoning, noticing that Axel had followed suit. It was a shame. "You can call me tomorrow. I'll be here."

Hands took his own, lacing fingers squeezing affectionately. Blue met green, lowered close. "I wonder where I'll find myself, then."

Roxas grinned, pressing his body flush against the much taller one before him. "Here, if you know what's good for you."

Axel's expression twisted into a sly smirk. "You're good for me."

He received a flirting wink in return. "I can be better for you."

Red trimmed eyebrows flew up at that. Maybe he hadn't been expecting the blond to be so forward or willing. "Is that an offer? Because I might be all too willing to accept."

"Come here tomorrow and see for yourself, unless you have work the next day."

Axel shrugged. "I need to use up my sick days every once in a while."

Oh, this was exciting. "I'll see you tomorrow night, then." And here he thought that getting dragged out of bed to go to work on his day off was a bad thing.

"I expect to see you here." There was no fucking way in hell that Roxas was going to miss that.

"Not in the girls bathroom, though." Roxas chuckled. "I think we've corrupted it enough." He rubbed his thumbs against the large hands encasing his, earning a light squeeze in response.

Axel grinned. "I hope it hasn't corrupted us."

Roxas grinned. He then became aware of the fact that, technically, he was still supposed to be working. He winced. "Shit, I still have to mop the rest of the floor."

"No one will notice if you don't." Somehow, their faces had gravitated to the same level.

"That's true," the blond was able to get out before he was silenced by those devious lips that tasted so hot and spicy and good. Damn, he couldn't wait until the next time he would be able to taste him.

"Goodnight, Roxas," Axel whispered onto his craving mouth.

Roxas took a hissing breath, regaining his composure. "I'll see you tomorrow, Axel. I'll be expecting you."

Axel's cheeks split into a wide grin. "Sure thing, love." Another kiss pressed to his lips, and that pleasant and scorching heat was gone. He picked his shirt up from the floor where it had been carelessly tossed, and he left without another word.

But Roxas knew, without a doubt, that he would return. After all, they were nothing but mammals, so might as well do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

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End Notes: Enjoy? Want it to continue? Oh shit, if I continue, it'll just be another pure smut and playful banter chapter… which isn't that bad of a thing, is it? Tell me what you think! Love you, as always.