Author's Note: This is the sequal to "Boulevard of Broken Dreams." L's POV. I think you guys will be pleasantly surprised by some of his thoughts.
The song "Imperfection" is my second fave Skillet song ((right behind "The Last Night")) and fits Light in this story so well, it's scary. Later, I reference the song, and will continue to do so w/o making it look like it's a reference to a song. Wrote much of this story during school, BTW.
A chapter fic, so beware. The chapters are short 'cause I want certain ideas in certain places. And you're gonna see another reason why L was/is so keen on helping Light recover. That won't be hinted at until next chapter and won't be explained until the third. The chapters will get increasingly longer, just a heads up.
Warning: Light's suicidal thoughts, still more references to heaven and hell, one-sided LxLight...*wink* Oh, and large words like blasphemy. I feel so proud I can write in L's POV!! SQUEE!! This has turned into a complete AU now, for Misa and her Death Note are gone. There's no more supernatural involved. End of story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or it's characters. However, this plot is my own. I also don't own the awesomeness that is "Imperfection" by Skillet. No, let them own all their amazing songs. ^-^
Imperfection
Chapter 1
I don't think I have ever been more thankful for my ability to cover my emotions with a blank mask than when Light woke up. I knew the precise moment his heart rate increased slightly, his eyes moving behind his eyelids like they would do in REM sleep—hence "rapid eye movement."
His parents were still in the room, and I knew he wouldn't even try to wake if he heard their voices, so I remained silent. He must've been still contemplating if he was dead or not, so I have him time to think. But soon, when I knew his parents were long gone and he was considering waking up completely, I told him I knew he wasn't Kira.
Only one who had been watching him constantly over the past month—and before that too, of course—would notice what seemed to be a weight lifting off his shoulders. At this movement, when he was filled with relief, he looked like the innocent teenager he should be. He looked like my fallen angel, the one I think I fell in love with…
But it would be blasphemy to confuse him with another's emotions when his were only stable because of high doses of medication. I remained silent about my feelings, saying I considered him a brother. In most senses, I did; but he was just too beautiful for me to ignore.
Alas, when he did wake up, open his eyes, I saw the yearning in them. For what, I did not know. I was not surprised he had figured out who I was. So perhaps, he did yearn to kill me, for all I had done, including forcing him to live. Perhaps he was just yearning to die. I wouldn't put it past him; he was very persistent, stubborn, and rarely gave in.
Yet…he did give up. He gave up living, striving for the perfection he had already obtained in my eyes. Because of that, his enormous pride must've been severely wounded. Well, so was mine. My main Kira suspect, the boy I honestly thought was the only possibility for Kira, wasn't.
No, a suicidal man, this suicidal man, could never be an insane mass murderer of criminals. Especially with the way I've been watching him study so excessively, the way he freaked out over a single grade. The real Kira wouldn't do that; he would take it all in stride, think of it as a sacrifice for the "new world" he was trying to create.
Once Light woke up, I kept him talking, or even had him listen when I talked. Anything to keep him occupied for the next few weeks he was in the hospital. He would never know how grateful I was he remained sane during that time.
But there was still the fact that once he was released, Light would go back to his parents. And his father expected no less of him than before. In fact, he expected more of his son, for I had personally suggested that schoolwork would not help with his recovery at the moment. Therefore, there was two months of schoolwork waiting at home for him.
No, I wouldn't let my fallen angel fall again. I wouldn't let him go back to the demons dragging him down. So I proposed bringing him to a psychiatric hospital I knew of in England, my homeland. I gave them all the details and said they could contact me—well, Watari—anytime to check up on Light.
If that happens—which I double, for they will try to forget such a failure of a perfect son—Watari will give them a report. It won't be real, for Light will not be going to a mental hospital. I actually feel sorry for his younger sister, Sayu. Her parents will undoubtedly thrust upon her the expectations of her brother. Unfortunately, she isn't as much of a genius as Light, especially in mathematics.
But there's nothing I can do about her. The best I can do is take care of her older brother, her mentally unstable older brother, who will most likely crack under the even greater pressure and once again submit to the means he had once tried to use to escape. Or perhaps something different, but I find that hard to believe. Light would never succumb to the temptations of drug addictions and alcoholism.
Still, I want to keep him safe by my side. So I was very pleased that he was happy to come with me. He was changing into street clothes when I came to tell him. I just couldn't resist hugging him. I think he might've been slightly uncomfortable, and I know brothers don't normally hug each other when shirtless, but he has assumed I don't have any social skills. Why not use that to my advantage? Okay, I am rarely around people, which results in me not knowing too much about how to act, but I know some.
I love watching his eyes. I said to him that I told his parents where I was taking him. The eyes were shocked, slightly panicked. So I reassured him we weren't going to a mental hospital. His eyes were relieved, but even if I saw hope—perhaps for him to be cured—I also saw that same yearning I noticed when he woke up…
Author's Note: This was mostly a recap chapter of sorts. Now were're gonna get into the current stuff. Still will be told in present tense, like the first one, but not like this chapter. L will interrupt the story to think every once in a while, so beware for inane thoughts and him saying stuff like "shakes me out of my musings."
How'd you like that little twist? I know many of my readers wished for there to be full-on LxLight, not one-sided, in the first part, so here it is. They both have unrequitted love for each other. Now do you understand that warning of "one-sided LxLight *wink*" above? It was talking about L not Light this time! HAHAHAHA!
Just saying, the "yearning" will keep appearing. I think you guys know what it is...And the "fallen angel" thing will of course appear again as well. That being said, here are the winners of my contest, which will appear in my stories for at least the rest of the year, if not longer:
First place: "Perussi" by Poshoom
Second place: "Admit it, You're a Monster" by Odelia is the Oddie
Honorable mention: "My Obsession" by Black-Dranzer-1119