Plot Bunny: It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it.

'Bond Speak'

Diry Jobs and Girls

Optimus watched the group of girls carefully. It wasn't like he expected one of them to turn into a pretender at any moment but he was still a little paranoid. While not even near Red Alerts level of paranoia he supposed he had a fairly good reason to be a little paranoid. The young girls clad in bikinis were cleaning him after all even though his robotic self wasn't exactly awake one hundred percent at the moment. He supposed that the only real reason he was even letting the females near him with anything that was meant to get dirt and grim off of his true body was because he had been filthy. It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it.

He'd been to busy as of late to get a good wash and it would take Sam far to long to was him and time, especially now, was something he didn't want to waste especially when it came to Sam. Every moment alone he could get with the boy was of the utmost importance to the Prime. They didn't have enough time together. He was busy with NEST and Sam was busy getting ready for finals. Even though they all knew he'd pass with flying colors he still had an act to keep up in front of everyone. One that required every acting skill the boy didn't possess.

The sound of loud giggles reached his ears through the audios of his robotic form. Being able to use every scanner and hear with every audio when using his holoform had its advantages. Like being able to ease drop on teenage girls who really didn't need to be talking about men that looked old enough to be their fathers. Optimus couldn't help but wonder if all human teenagers were like this when they were younger. Well maybe not he knew a few female soldiers at NEST who still acted like this.

'Optimus.' The feeling of love that followed his name had a soft smile appearing on the holoforms face almost immediately.

'Yes, Sam.'

'Where are you?' Sam asked and Optimus found himself frowning before he looked at the clock across the street. Opps. He was late and he'd forgotten to tell Sam that he might be.

'Sorry little one,' Optimus said trying to go for a bit of pity from his bonded. ' I stopped at a car wash being held by a group of girls and well their being...'

'Girls.' Sam ended the Primes sentence for him. Optimus could feel Sam's smile through their bond. Good the boy wasn't mad at him just amused.

'Yes. Do you want to know where I am or would you prefer to just wait?' Optimus asked.

'Depends how far away are you?'

Optimus looked at his surroundings. He was currently sitting at a table about thirty feet away from his true body in front of a small restaurant. He usually meet Sam at the Starbucks about a block and a half away from his collage. 'About two blocks away sitting in front of ...' Optimus' sentence trailed off as he turned to look at the sign behind him, ' the Dew Drop Restaurant.'

Recognition filled the link for a few moments. He knew Sam was thinking about whither or not he would be walking or not. His leg still hurt badly if he walked on it too much even though the bones had healed and the only thing that was left were the scars from surgery.

"I'll see you in a few minutes.' Sam's voice seemed to echo in his head for a few seconds as the boy stopped focusing on the bond and began walking again.

'Be careful.'

Though he received no reply Optimus knew that Sam had herd him. Talking to each other through the bond required more concentration that sending simple emotions and Sam still had to stop walking in order to focus enough to be able to talk. Optimus' attention was returned to the group of girls that he had been watching before. The ones that had also been talking about him in ways girls under eighteen had no right to be talking. It appeared that sometime during his talk with Sam they had finished and now they were huddled in a group talking to each other. As one girl looked at him and giggled it appeared they were still talking about him.

Optimus shook his head and thanked Primus he had never been a human teenager. There were somethings even he didn't want to know about and human adolescence was one of them. Primus forbid he and Sam had gotten together when the boy had been younger he didn't think that would have been a good thing. Though he loved the human to death he was quite happy with the more mature just as goofy Sam he had now that the one that had driven Bumblebee fritzy most of the time.

Blue eys watched as the group of girls pushed one of their members (a small brunette) out and started pushing her towards him. Optimus twisted his head so that one of his ears was facing the group and focused just a bit closer on them. Their conversation was quite easily herd through his audio's and transmitted to his holoform. It was as if Optimus was standing right next to the girls listening in.

"Just go ask him." One girl (a redhead) demanded as she pushed the other girl a few steps closer.

"But it's not right." The brunette whispered as she tried to push herself back.

"Just ask he looks like he could use some company. Besides he smiled earlier and it looked like it was at you." The red head hissed as she pushed all the harder. Clear blue eys rolled heaven word for just a moment. She though he had been smiling at one of them. How wrong she was.

The small brunette stopped fighting after a few moments and made her way towards him willingly though she was a little shaky. Optimus offer her a small smile as she stopped in front of him. He wasn't going to be rude to her just because her friends had jumped to conclusions.

"How much do I owe you?" Optimus asked. The girl looked at his for a moment with doe eyes before she shook herself and answered.

"Fifteen dollars for the wash." Optimus nodded and pulled out his wallet - one of the few real items he actually carried - and pulled out a twenty.

"Keep the change." The girl looked like she was about to protest but Optimus insisted. He didn't really need the five extra dollars. The only time he even spent the money he'd earned was when he was with Sam or they needed something at the base and he was on patrol and able to get it. The brunette opened her mouth to say something, perhaps to ask the question her friend had told her to ask, but was stopped as a familiar voice called out to Optimus.

"Hey."

Optimus turned and smiled as he watched Sam make his way over to him. He could see all the girls watching from the corner of his eye. Optimus pulled the boy into a hug as soon as he was close enough.

"I missed you." His deep voice seemed to rumble as Sam hugged him back a happy smile on his face.

"Missed you too." He replied as he leaned in and kissed the holoform on the cheek. There was a loud gasping noise from behind them that caused Sam to give Optimus a questioning look before he turned and spotted the group of girls behind them. "Sorry ladies." he called, " he's taken."

oOo oOo oOo

Authors Note's for 1

Ya I'm not all that sure how I got this out of that plot bunny but oh well. Now on to more important stuff. For the time being this fanfic is part of my NaNoWriMo project. I am actually working on a noval but they don't tend to go as well so I figured that as a side project for if I don't get my other one done I might be able to do 50,000 or more words with this. Hence the name. That and I thought it'd be fun to write a bunch of Optimus/Sam one shots. So for now all I know is that this collection will be fifty one shots long. As for the words I'm trying to do at least a thousand for each one but I'm having to more or less asume my word count. I think word count counts every three letters as words not counting spaces so if I go by that I get like twenty five words per line so I times that by my number of lines and presto a rough guess. Ya and don't be surprised if you start seeing new chapters in like half an hour. Chances are I'll have quite a few to post. I'm just giving people time to read and review for this before I post anything new.

Okay so here's my few notes for this chapter.

Optimus' wallet- I figure that the main reason he even has money is because Sam is a broke collage kid -not that'd I'd know what thats like- and can't really do much. So when ever Optimus comes to visit he spoiles him rotten.

Bond Talking- This I figure is kinda like talking on a cellphone minus the phone. Optimus can talk to Sam while moving due to the fact that he's used to being able to focus on several things at once -it comes with being a robot and all- while Sam who is still fairly young has to focus a lot harder for the talking to work. So he stops when talking so he won't do anything stupid like bumping into people or walking out into traffic. Because lets face it he gets into enouf trouble when he is focusing on something.

Sam's acting- I agree with most of the other people about Sam ending up really smart after the whole allspark thing. My story is that the photographic memory stays with him even after Egypt. So Sam more or less act's like he has trouble with things and takes the time to make it look like he's studying. He has no desire for people to find out he's so freakishly samrt and for them to start wondering how he got so 'gifted' when he wasn't before.

Thats about all I can think of for this chapter