Learning Human Nature

Chapter 1 – This train is about to depart

Spock tried to adjust to human concepts and culture during his term in Starfleet Academy but he hadn't devoted himself to the study of human behavior. It was easier to volunteer for more duty shifts to avoid the interaction between himself and the other cadets and after he was graduated from the Academy his work load precluded his having much time to spend on personal relationships with humans.

It was also easy to ignore most of them. Humans' lack of control over their emotions made him uncomfortable and were frankly disturbing. His own human half was the weak link in his control over his Vulcan emotions and he knew it. While most humans thought Vulcans had no emotions, he had understood when Sarek told him that it was the great passion and deep emotions of the Vulcans that had caused them to a make the commitment to control them lest they be controlled by them. However, Spock did enjoy the conversations with certain individuals whose interests he shared. He didn't seek them out but he didn't shrink from them when they occurred.

One cadet sparked his interest beyond their shared interest in languages. Lt. Uhura was a linguist of the highest calibre and he found himself plotting subtle ways to spend more time in her presence. One evening after keeping her a bit longer than necessary as they discussed a vague Romulan dialect, he realized he wanted to know her. He wanted to find out what made her so attractive to him. He could appreciate her human physical attributes, her intellect and her work ethic but he had to admit there was more to it than that.

It began a train of thought... What could he do to please her, for he felt a desire to please her whenever they were sharing the same space. He wished he had some wisdom to bring to this thought process but had to admit he didn't. He had no previous experience with these feelings; feelings he might have ordinarily suppressed but which he now wished to explore.

The question rolled around in his mind and when he had a few quiet moments away from his work he brought it out and examined it from all sides. He had read a fair amount on human sexuality and was familiar with the mating rituals. He had also captured bits of conversation from fellow Starfleet personnel though their sexual exploits were of no interest to him and he didn't engage in those conversations. Finally he wondered... "Should I ask her to teach me how to please her?" It seemed a logical course of action. She was intelligent and rational he reasoned. And he thought he had caught a slight attentiveness to him on her part when they had been walking from the engineering lab just the previous day. He resolved to approach the subject the next time they were alone.

It was to happen sooner than he thought....

Learning Human Nature

Chapter 2 – Are you asking me on a date?

Lt. Uhura sighed as she logged off the computer in the linguistics lab. It was late and she was hungry and sleepy. Approaching exams and the coming holidays were always a stressful time for students and faculty at Starfleet Academy.

She nodded to the young Lt. who was replacing her at the station and headed toward the door which led to the main hallway. She thought for a second about returning to her dormitory quarters and digging around there for something to eat but decided against that and headed instead for the dining hall which was thankfully open 24/7/365. The food, though widely regarded as slop, was at least available when folks were hungry and it was cheap enough for a lowly cadet to chow down.

The dining hall was sparsely populated this time of night and the chow line looked like it too had been through a rough evening. But a couple of pieces of fruit and a hard roll suddenly appealed to her and having made her purchases, she ventured with her tray toward the seating area by a large window. The night sky was clearly visible along with passing aircraft of all kinds coming and going from Starfleet. She saw Commander Spock seated alone at a table by the great window and headed in his direction.

Spock took most of his meals alone partly because he didn't eat at regular intervals but also because he had no cadre of friends with whom he felt like sharing the ritual of consuming nourishment. Often as not, he ate in his own quarters, usually something simple, a piece or two of fresh fruit or a salad. As a vegetarian he found the smell of cooking meat wafting from the kitchens of the dining hall sometimes disconcerting but this particular evening he had planned to return to work after eating so he chose to take a small meal there.

He sat by the great window where he could see the stars but his attention was focused on his PADD and the information on a new linguistics lab set up he'd been devising for a few weeks. Lt. Uhura had been instrumental in suggesting the design for the dialects section of the software so it was natural that he would think of her as he studied the data. But he full knew that it wasn't because of the assistance she had offered him in the lab.

It was the curve of her calf as it joined the back of her knee that formed the mental image of her like a flash in his mind. He pondered the image of the pulse on her neck as it kept visible time with her life force.

He furrowed his brow and concentrated harder to push the emotions back down. In a few heartbeats he was once again in deep logical thought. He was brought back to the moment by a familiar voice.

"Commander?" He looked up and saw the tall, willowy woman standing before him, dinner tray in hand.

"Yes… Lt. Uhura." He replied but didn't stand.

"May I join you?" she asked. He paused for a nano-second and then suddenly he stood up.

"Of course." He pulled out a chair for her. "Please sit down."

"I'm not disturbing you am I?" He looked at her intelligent face and had to admit that yes, she was disturbing TO him but he welcomed it and replied to her.

"No, not at all. In fact, I was hoping to see you. I have something I'd like to discuss with you."

"Oh? Well, great." She sat in the offered chair and began peeling the orange she'd selected.

"Yes. I wanted to thank you for the model work in the linguistics lab. I think we can expand that to encompass several more languages if you can spare the time away from your other studies."

"I'd like that. I enjoyed setting up the other dialects. I was thinking it might be the preparatory work toward my dissertation if you think the material is suitable for that." She watched his face to see if he was going to display an approving look. She was surprised to see that he was looking straight at her but clearly not in response to her comment.

For a moment Spock found himself unable to move. He was so taken by her beauty and her sexuality that he began to imagine what it would be like to touch her with his hands. What would she feel like along her hip? Her thigh? Her voice brought him back to the moment.

"Commander Spock?" He blinked and quickly looked down at his PADD before responding.

"I ..." he paused, "Forgive me I was thinking of something else." Uhura saw something in his face that for the life of her she could swear was embarrassment. But at what? When he spoke it was with careful, measured words and his voice was almost a whisper.

"Lt. Uhura. May I ask you something?" She nodded assent.

"I know that I am a senior officer and you are a Lieutenant and a cadet at that. And if you are uncomfortable with my request, I would understand completely."

"Ask me what?" she blurted in frustration. She could feel the anxiety creeping through her chest. He sat up straighter, pulling the front of his uniform jacket down with both hands in a snap, and then spoke.

"Would you consider it appropriate to attend a social function as my companion?"

The silence between them hung like a baited breath.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" she said with incredulity. Unaccustomed to the experience of letting these feelings rise to the surface, he replied softly.

"I am. But only if you are…."

"I accept." she said quickly and with resolve. A guileless grin spread across his lips and Uhura smiled back at him. Then Spock cleared his throat and proceeded shyly.

"I would like to schedule an outing that would please you." He could almost feel the flush of uncertainty creep up his cheeks. He had no skill at this, and he was quickly regretting having spoken to her.

"Spending time with you does please me." She replied and in that instant he wanted her, completely and totally.

She was mind boggling in her willingness to breach the divide between their two races. She was truly fascinating in every way. He reached across the table and with the slightest of gestures, touched her hand with his index finger. The electricity between them surged through his hand and found its way into his chest. He concentrated to slow his breathing and to appear as normal as he could.

This lovely human female who could have any man at Starfleet Academy had just said "yes" to him. "Onward," he thought. Uhura fought to keep from screaming, "I can't wait to be his."

Learning Human Nature

Chapter 3 – Feelings of inadequacy

Spock stood before the refresher and stared at the five garments hanging there ranging from a civilian pair of trousers and a matching shirt to his four Starfleet uniforms, his mess dress being the most formal. A mild confusion came over him and he again realized he was experiencing "feelings of inadequacy" as defined in the entry on "First Dates" in the human cultural database. The biological and physiological manifestations of human sexuality were simple really. One had only to look at Lt. Cadet Kirk to understand that humans could reproduce regardless of intellect and reason.

But this was not the complete picture of human relationships. He had learned that he needed to allow his human side to sometimes lead him in his many encounters with humans at Starfleet. However, most of those were professional or academic encounters. Yes, this was different.

He had spent nearly every moment of his young life trying to suppress emotion, not access it. And he had nurtured for many years the notion that his human side was somehow inferior to his Vulcan half, a notion shared by almost everyone around whom he had grown up. He felt strong loving feelings for his parents of course, but only rarely did he express them and then it was nearly always his mother who initiated the emotional dialog between them. Often she admonished him gently for not letting his feelings "out," as if they were a rowdy pet that needed exercise.

A brief sigh escaped him and he reached for the pair of soft brown trousers and the shirt of similar casual style. He would be comfortable in these clothes and they were "civilian" which was important since he and Uhura were going somewhere non-work related.

He exited the sonic shower and dressed with workman like precision. Human psychology would very likely consider Spock to be "obsessive/compulsive," at least in his house keeping and hygiene. But it was Vulcan's Spartan like culture that had shaped him. And his life for many years had been primarily work and study with small pleasures inserted in between semesters or tours of duty. He had little need for casual clothing and less room to store it in the sparse quarters.

They would meet at 1900 hours the that evening in front of the building which housed his quarters. They had agreed his meeting her at the dormitory might be uncomfortable for them both. He had concerns about his role in the "first date" scenario but the thought of spending an entire evening with her was more quaking than his consideration of obscure protocol. He tried to relax, admonishing himself for being so, how did Dr. McCoy put it once, "stuffy." He completed his preparations and touched the keypad at his door, ready to venture out into the world of human social life, ready or not.

Uhura had said she liked music and so did he, so he planned to take her to see an ancient opera, "Madame Butterfly," being performed at the renowned San Francisco Opera House. The story took place in Japan, a country on earth that had a similar philosophy and mythology to that of Vulcan. He did briefly wonder if he should have taken the time to investigate the plot but he simply had not had the time to do that between his shift and the time he was supposed to meet her. He would have to, as his human mother had often said, "hope for the best."

Uhura rushed through a shower with water that was not hot but not freezing as it sometimes was this time of day in her dorm quarters. Her room mate was already gone for the evening either out with friends or on shift, she wasn't sure.

She chose a light coral colored sheath of soft jersey that was loose fitting and flared at the hem just below her knee. Around her waist she tied a belt of metallic cord mixed with shells and small charms from her homeland in Africa. The outfit was chic and comfortable and she was very satisfied with the image that smiled back at her in the mirror. She smoothed her hair before picking up a small hand bag and a gossamer hand-woven shawl to ward off the ever-present San Francisco night chill. Just as she was about to touch the keypad by her door she stopped. A feeling of mild terror invaded her brain.

What if she made a fool of herself? What if they couldn't communicate with each other when they were alone? What if he tried to kiss her? What if he didn't? She tried to calm herself down.

She knew she was the right woman for Spock. She had masterful command of observation. She also knew he wanted her and she had felt it the previous night in the slight touch of his finger on the side of her hand. She understood his stillness and accepted his self control. More than all that, she trusted him with her life. He was the kind of man you knew you could count on, he would never do the wrong thing on purpose.

But this attempt to have a relationship with someone from another planet was both thrilling and challenging and she knew they were on dangerous and unfamiliar ground. She pushed the keypad and her door opened on to a whole new world.

He saw her coming and for a moment he was reminded of his home on Vulcan, the rosy glow of the sunset shone against her dress, the air around her becoming color of fire. He shuddered at her grace and reminded himself that he was trying to learn how to please her…. Just watching her walk toward him pleased him immensely.

"Hi, I'm not late am I'?" she said as floated close to him.

"Very punctual … eh… I may call you Nyota? Yes?" he answered as they began to walk together toward the street where they could hail a cab to take them to the Opera.

"Of course. And what should I call you?" she smiled with mischief. Both of them knew that Nyota Uhura was perhaps one of the only humans he knew who could pronounce his first name. But he wasn't ready for that intimacy just yet.

"Just Spock… if that is agreeable to you," he replied.

"Yes. 'Spock.' That is agreeable to me." She slipped her arm through his and felt his strong arm flex, welcoming her closer. They walked stride for stride, her long legs able to match his motion.

About a third of the way through the first act of the opera, Spock began to seriously wonder if the plot of Madame Butterfly was going to take a miserable down hill turn. He had liked the beginning and was feeling rather smug about his choice of activity for their first date. What could be better than a story about lovers from different cultures?

During the Amore o grillo ("Love or fancy") number, Pinkerton admits to Sharpless that he does not know whether he is really in love or just infatuated, but he is bewitched with Butterfly's innocence, charm and beauty, like a butterfly fluttering around and then landing with silent grace, so beautiful "that I must have her, even though I injure her butterfly wings."

At once Spock began to process the thought that he could in fact hurt Nyota Uhura if he wasn't extremely careful. Not just physically, which he could do in an instant with a careless embrace. But also emotionally. Was he infatuated with her human-ness? Did he long to touch her body because he was lonely or because it was her body specifically? He had no point of reference with which to compare these feelings he had for her.

He felt the emotion of shame swirl into the cauldron of his lust. He must move carefully lest he do irreparable damage. Just where did he think this relationship would lead? Had he even considered that before venturing into it?

The answer was no. This one time in his life had he not thought the whole thing out. He was reacting to his own emotions, the son of his mother perhaps for the first time.

He didn't physically pull away from her as they sat in the darkened theatre watching the tragic story unfold on the stage. But Uhura felt him depart from her in a subtle way she couldn't immediately explain.

The tale of Butterfly and her Navy Lieutenant lover were unfamiliar to her. She hadn't ever read about this particular composition and didn't know if Spock was familiar with it or not. She listened intently and tried not to over think the metaphoric connection between the opera's characters her own new romance with Spock.

Surely he hadn't selected this on purpose. By the middle of the second act, Spock was certain his choice of "Madame Butterfly" had been a terrible mistake. The foreign sailor had professed his undying love for the beautiful Butterfly only to leave her alone and rejected by her people, carrying his child. "Disaster!" he thought. He glanced sideways at Uhura's face and saw the single tear roll down her cheek. He reached for her face and held it between his two hands.

"I am so sorry. I didn't know the story…" She met his eyes and then dropped her gaze. "Come, let's leave here," he said and took her hand in his. They stood up and slipped into the empty hallway outside the theater.

"Nyota," he whispered in her ear as he pulled her close to him. "That is not how I intended to entertain you. Please forgive me." She put her forehead against his neck and whispered back to him.

"I know you didn't know." She looked at him in the halflight. "But that isn't how we are going to turn out. I'd rather stop now if it is." He tried to reply with honesty.

"No we are different than that couple. I am different than Pinkerton. I'll do everything in my power to never hurt you."

She hoped he knew his own heart.

Learning Human Nature

Chapter 4 – Can we give this another go?

Spock and Uhura were quiet all the way back to Starfleet Academy campus. Frankly, Spock was furious at himself for not checking on the musical before choosing it as the activity for their first date. Shaken by the coincidental similarity of the characters in the opera to their own, Uhura was confused by a truth she hadn't considered. She didn't know what to say beyond confirming that she knew he didn't pick the opera on purpose.

She wasn't superstitious and she didn't think Spock could be as capricious as Pinkerton but she vowed to tread a bit lighter and look a bit longer before leaping into an affair of the heart. The bodies maybe, but the heart, perhaps more patience was needed here.

Spock's vow was different. He promised himself he would devise a date in which they would both have an enjoyable time without too much emotional accessorizing. He tried to relax and remind himself that they could take their time and become friends, learn more about each other and let the relationship unfold as it would. But he couldn't forget that lone tear as it rolled down her proud cheek. Or the rising tide of emotion he experienced when they were close. It was all strange and new.

Uhura was about to leave her duty station the next day when she received a communication from Spock on her PADD. It read:

"Would you join me for dinner this evening in my quarters?" She clicked the "reply" button.

"Yes. What time?" Almost immediately his response appeared on her PADD.

"1930."

"See you then," she responded.

Spock noted her reply and swiveled his chair away from the desk to look out the window in his office and watch as a cargo ship gently docked at the massive stanchion that loomed in the distance. He had spent the better part of his day contemplating the finishing touches on a simulation project that would test Starfleet candidates applying to pilot training. He knew their date had been a disaster but he couldn't undo it. He could, however, move forward and try to rectify the situation by trying again to have a pleasant evening with Uhura. When he was satisfied he was prepared for the dry run of the simulation scheduled for the following day, he packed his PADD and rose to leave his office.

As Uhura arrived at the building that housed Spock's quarters she wondered what some of the officers she passed along the way might have been thinking. She had turned down a few of them over the past months. She wasn't arrogant about it but she had standards that none of them met. In fact, she admitted to herself that Spock was the only one who met her high standards and the only one who stirred her blood. Though she was a bit nervous after last night's unfortunate blow to a successful first date, she was confident that tonight would be better. She sighed and said to herself, "Carry on," as the turbo lift stopped at his floor.

He heard the ding of the door chime and instead of using the voice activated opening mechanism, he walked to the door of his quarters and pressed the open button with his hand. The door slipped back and there she stood, fresh and smiling and looking more beautiful than he remembered from last night. He smiled and welcomed her inside.

"Please, come in," he moved aside and she followed him in.

"Thanks" she said as she quickly scanned the room. The walls were far from bare. Instead they were dotted here and there with unusual works of art and artifacts. The floor was covered in a brightly colored carpet of some kind; it looked very soft. And the muted lighting was somewhat golden in tone. She liked the space immediately.

"I like your quarters."

"Thank you. I don't spend a great deal of time here but I believe it is comfortable and meets my needs." She saw an array of food on the table.

" Don't tell me you cook!" she laughed and Spock felt the ice break between them. He smiled and was grateful.

"No I do not. But I do know how to purchase fresh fruits and vegetables and Earth's bounty is one of my favorite things about my second home."

"That's right, this IS your second home. I don't know why I keep forgetting you're half human."

"I suppose I don't show that side of myself often," he walked them to a small table set for two with simple fare of several fruits and some vegetables and cheeses. "My mother is human, as you know." They sat down and Spock handed Uhura a remote control device.

"You should select the music for tonight," a small smirk turning up the corners of his mouth. "I want no part of it!" he raised his hands in surrender. They both laughed.

Uhura scanned the selection of music available on the computer and chose a favorite piece entitled Carmina Burana by Carl Orff. It had always had an "other world" quality to her and fit the setting very well she thought. It seemed that it was also a favorite of Spock's. They listened to the music and talked throughout the meal about many things; her home, his home, her career hopes and dreams, his hopes for a command on a starship. They didn't talk about what was foremost on both their minds… their feelings for one another and what to do about them.

When they had finished the meal Spock rose and offered her his hand. She took it and stood up from her chair. They stood facing one another in silence for what seemed like a long time. Spock looked into her eyes.

"Nyota I don't know what to do to please you. I have no experience with human women. I want very much for you to be satisfied with me, with my… actions." Surprised by his candor, Uhura kept her eyes fixed on his face and noticed that his pupils were dilated. "He is sincere," she thought. His breath was warm and she could smell the fruit they had just consumed on it. She let her eyes wander to his mouth, and thought, "Please kiss me right now!"

Instead she opened her own mouth slightly and pressed her lips to his, closing her eyes. After a moment she began to feel him return the kiss, not in hurried passion but in soft and gentle exploration. His right hand rested on her arm just above her elbow and his left hand slid around her waist as they continued the kiss. Slowly he pulled her closer and moved his mouth off hers and to the curve of her neck just below her ear. She breathed in a luxurious sigh of pleasure and put her hand on the back of his neck trailing her fingers along his hairline.

"Blissful" was the only word she could think of to describe how this felt. This was pleasure with no agenda other than mutual enjoyment. After a moment he broke from the embrace.

"I can feel that your heart rate is elevated but your body is soft and relaxed. Is this how it is supposed to be?" he whispered close to her ear.

"Oh yes Spock. This is how it is supposed to be." Then she asked, "How does it feel to you? Is this pleasurable for you?"

"It is quite pleasurable for me. I have never experienced this sensation of warmth which seems to be running through my entire body. I am becoming sexually aroused."

"I would hope so," she said softly and she put her hand against the side of his chest to feel his heart beat. It was steady and strong but faster than she expected.

They kissed again, his lips seeking hers this time. In a moment of reckless desire, she drew her hand across his stomach just below his navel. Their lips parted with her touch as his breath caught for a second.

When he found her mouth again his kisses were more insistent and he pulled her to him in a tighter embrace, feeling her body along the length of his own. The slightest soft moan escaped his throat as she kissed his neck and the carotid vein up to his ear. His heart was beating faster now as was hers and she felt a flush of lust stirring in her.

No words were needed now to communicate their mutual desire for one another. In a slow motion ballet of arms and legs and lips and hands they sought the pleasure Uhura had hoped for and that Spock had only imagined in the most abstract of ways.

They undressed each other slowly and reverently, stopping to touch and explore the other's skin and hair, muscle and curve. No embarrassment or self consciousness disturbed their enjoyment of this act.

Unencumbered by clothing they moved to Spock's bed and began a harmonious symphony of touching and stroking, bringing each other to mutual sexual arousal for more than an hour. Spock paused from time to time and opened his eyes to look at her. The expression on his face was wonder. He had no idea it would be like this.

Uhura was in a near zen state but as Spock approached the point of climax she was unable to resist the stronger rhythm of his body and felt herself fall into it with a deep sigh. He finally gave into the "little death" with a cavernous moan and a passion which he had never before experienced.

They lay in each others arms for a time while he caressed her hair and she kissed the tips of his ears, which obviously made him a bit ticklish. Then they were quiet and listened to each other breathe. Uhura nestled into his side and allowed her leg to remain draped across his thigh. She could only stay very still, reading him through his even breathing. An aroma floated in the air but she couldn't focus her mind on what it was or was like. In her lulled state she decided it was the smell of contentment. Spock was the first to speak.

"That was amazing."

Learning Human Nature

Chapter 5

How to eat a Mango

For the entire day Uhura had been so busy she hadn't had the time to think about what had happened with Spock the night before. She wasn't completely an innocent but she had adhered to a strict standard of not having intercourse with anyone. Some might call it semantics, no pun intended, but she had not believed herself ready to cross that line which once crossed could never be reversed.

And now, she had crossed that line. And she intended to cross it again and again as often as she could until she dropped dead. She couldn't help but feel a tiny smugness that he had chosen her. Spock was a handsome man, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by her female friends and some of her male friends. True he was exotic. But he wasn't the only Vulcan at Starfleet, far from it. He was, however, the only Half Human Vulcan or Half Vulcan Human depending on how one looked at it. And he was fascinating to her.

"Wait," she thought, "which part of him is stronger?" She hadn't thought overmuch about what kind of internal conflict he must face every day. The two species were both homonid, but the similarities and differences in them might not be in equal measure in Spock. How would anyone know? He was the only living Vulcan/Human hybrid.

This was going to be a complicated relationship. Not in the least because of their professional responsibilities. There were rules about this kind of thing, a student being intimate with an instructor… or a junior grade officer having an affair with a senior officer if serving in the senior officer's command. She didn't want to think about how many rules they had broken last night.

Everyone wanted to think that the need for such rules had passed, but the issue was still a part of the culture and she hoped they wouldn't have to defend themselves to higher authority up the chain of command. She felt the concern for her own career as well as Spock's and wondered if they ought to tell someone.

How could they hide it anyway? She was certain that her face gave it all away. She felt sexy and smart as she walked through the main hallway that led to the turbo lifts. She pushed the "down" symbol and waited in front of the lift door.

"Lobby," she said as the door closed. The turbo lift began its descent. It stopped a few floors later and the door opened. Spock walked into the pod and spoke to the computer.

"Lobby." he said. The turbo lift sped off. He faced the door, clasping his hands in the small of his back at ease.

"Lieutenant Uhura." the slightest curve of a smile on his mouth. She smiled and continued to look ahead.

"Commander Spock," she offered a slight nod in greeting.

"Have you finished your shift?"

"I have. And you?" she kept her gaze forward.

"Yes. I will be free from work for the next four hours and 30 minutes," he answered.

"I'm starved. Would you like to eat something with me?" she said casually.

"I am hungry," he replied only then realizing he had forgotten to feed himself.

"I have a mango I'll share with you."

"That would be very pleasant." He replied. "I accept."

. "I'm going to go outside where it is beautiful and sit and eat. Come?"

Outside on a vast expanse of green grass dotted with trees were benches and a few tables scattered around the quad. A few people sat reading or talking or eating in the late afternoon.

They found a secluded bench among a group of old trees and sat down. Uhura opened her bag and took out a very large, yellow fruit which Spock had never seen before. At once he could smell the light intoxicating aroma coming off the smooth skin of the mango.

"This is a mango?" he asked. Uhura nodded

"May I?" he asked, reaching for the heavy fruit.

"Yes, have you tried one?" she handed it to him. They're tropical and very delicious."

"Fascinating" he said turning it over in his hands. He liked the smell of it and its smooth textureless skin.

He handed it back to her and watched her slice through the meat and around what appeared to be a pit with a small pen knife she drew from the her bag. Then she twisted the mango and it came apart in roughly two halves, the juice flowing freely from it down her fingers and hands all the way to her wrists. She handed him one of the halves.

First he smelled it more closely and smiled as he relished the heady sweetness. Then he put the fruit to his lips and tasted the flavor with the tip of his tongue.

"It's wonderful."

"I like to dive right in and bite the soft part," said Uhura. She put her teeth on the fleshy part of the mango and bit down, scraping her teeth across the skin and pulling the sweet meat into her mouth. The juice of it ran down her chin.

Spock followed suit with his piece and thrilled at the unique and exotic flavor and texture of the sweet meat. He too had mango juice running down his chin and onto his hand. Within a few minutes they were both covered in sweet, sticky mango juice and slurping the soft, pliable mango fruit into their mouths determined to get every bite.

"That is unlike any fruit I've ever eaten," he remarked. "The texture is smooth and firm with an after taste that lingers in my mouth." He obviously liked it very much. "But it is rather messy," he laid the skin and pit of the fruit down on the bench. He looked around for a napkin of sorts.

"Here let me help," said Uhura as she put her finished mango on the bench.

She took his hand in hers and brought it to her mouth. Placing his index finger in her mouth she sucked the mango juice from it carefully and then moved on to his middle finger where she ran her tongue down along the smooth inside between it and the index finger. She looked at Spock to see his reaction before proceeding. He stared at her but didn't move or resist her actions.

Emboldened, she licked along each finger before letting her tongue trace the contours of his palm.

His breath became more labored and he felt his heart start to race. He leaned toward her face placing his mouth beside her ear.

"I am having a difficult time controlling myself Nyota." Between flicks of her tongue against the inside of his wrist she answered mischievously.

"I'm sorry." Spock shifted his weight and started to reach for her with his free hand.

They were both startled when a familiar voice spoke.

"Wow! That was hot," then pointing his finger from Spock to Uhura he said, "Are you two supposed to be doing this?"

They looked up to see the impish face of Lt. James T. Kirk smiling broadly.

Learning Human Nature

Chapter 6

"Secrets"

A secret is a treasure or millstone depending on what it is. Uhura and Spock had a secret. And was one that if uncovered could destroy both their careers and reputations in Starfleet.

That they had been careless enough to indulge in that behavior in broad daylight was bad enough. But that they had been discovered by none other than James T. Kirk was as bad as it could get.

Uhura had stood there with mango juice all over her hands and face as Spock stood up, pulled down the waist of his uniform jacket with both hands, nodded to her and left without a word. She and Kirk watched as he walked away. Then Kirk winked at her and with a chuckle, shook his head and walked the other direction.

She had picked up her bag and putting her head up she strode toward her dormitory, angry, humiliated and embarrassed. The worst of it was Spock. He had just walked away. Like nothing happened.

Spock sat in front of the monitor in his office working for about an hour before he felt he had his emotions under control enough to even start to think about what had happened on the quad. He was only beginning to deal with what he and Nyota had begun last night. His head swam with conflicting thoughts and invading emotions. Was this some neurological growth phase unique to him as a hybrid? Or was his attraction for Nyota Uhura what had unleashed this torrent of feelings he couldn't control?

"I do not know," he whispered to himself. He did know that had he not walked away from the scene in the quad he might have really lost it. He was already at a heightened level of emotion when Kirk appeared. The anxiety and anger that rose to take the place of the sensual emotion he was feeling was too strong to ignore. He had to leave at once.

He had returned to his office and immediately gone to the head across the hall to change his uniform jacket which was soiled with the mango juice. He washed his face and hands and stood in his T-shirt staring at the face in the mirror searching for some kind of resolution or insight. He needed to get control of his emotions and act logically.

Uhura's entire career could easily be completely ruined as could his own. He didn't know if he could continue to venture on these sojourns into human relationships full of emotion.

Perhaps it was wise for him to consider Kal-i-nhar and purge the emotions once and for all. He had believed he cold keep them under control. But lately he was coming to realize this might not be true.

If it had been anyone but Kirk, the insolent, ruffian from Iowa. He was brash, reckless and out of control. Spock groaned and leaned his forehead against the mirror.

"I am describing myself."

Kirk trotted lightly down the steps of the classroom building satisfied he'd done the best he could on the term paper he'd just turned in… ahead of time, thank you very much. He turned when he heard his name being called.

"Jim!" waved his friend and drinking buddy McCoy. They caught up with each other and continued on across the quad toward the gymnasium.

"Bones! I'm done. That was my last paper and I have one more exam and I'm done for the semester." His friend clapped him on the back.

"Congratulations! Let's celebrate. I'm buying."

"No I'm headed to the gym. Then one more night of hitting the books," replied Kirk who was smiling broadly.

"What's going on? You look like a cat that has swallowed a canary."

"Do I?" he laughed. They were at the steps of the gym and parted with the promise of a raucous evening following the last exam. McCoy headed for the transport station to catch a train for home and Kirk opened the door to the fitness center and went inside.

Uhura held in her tears till she hit the door of her dormitory quarters. Once inside she dropped onto her bed and cried for several minutes. After a shower and a change into comfortable clothing she sat down at her desk to try to complete a paper she had due the following morning. It was no use. She laid her head on her hands and cried off and on.

She had known that it was going to be complicated having a relationship with Spock. That she had even ventured into it wasn't like her at all. Her mother had often said that she needed to learn to follow her heart more and her brain less. But this was a disaster.

The practical side of her nature couldn't deny the issue of her career and what this was likely to do to that. And for Spock this could be even more professionally devastating. Oh, what were they thinking?

"Well that's the answer right there," she thought. We weren't thinking at all. And now look. Her whole life was falling apart.

She had believed that she could trust Spock. Even with all his alien-ness she thought she had seen into his heart and that he wouldn't have deserted her without so much as a word. Maybe the two of them as a couple wasn't a good idea. She hated that thought but she couldn't help thinking it. She vowed to be still and try to understand him. But she also vowed that she wouldn't be put in this kind of situation again for him.

Spock was raised on a planet with little water for drinking and agriculture and almost no recreational water. The sonic showers commonly in use were invented by a Vulcan to reduce the need for bathing in water as a conservation measure. He was accustomed to their use and appreciated their convenience, but he really loved water.

He had learned to swim as a child when traveling with his parents on holiday and he found that swimming was a relaxing and pleasant way to keep fit. His body was naturally built for swimming with long, less bulky muscles than some men. And the opportunity to swim every day was something for which he was appreciative.

So many hours of his life were spent sitting at a computer that he could have easily become soft even at his young age.

At the gymnasium he slipped into the stationary swim pool and grabbed the steel bar at the front with one hand as he told the computer to recall his routine.

"Spock – swim routine."

"Confirm Spock swim routine, current strength level 8, time set for 45 mintues." replied the computer

"Spock affirmative." The water began to course by him, flowing from the powerful jets in front of him. He let go of the steel bar and began to swim against the current. For the next 45 minutes he swam with efficient, rhythmic strokes, elevating his heart rate and heating up his muscles.

"Current shut down in 15 seconds." said the computer. Spock stopped swimming and, breathing hard, he grabbed the steel bar and waited for the current to subside. He put his head against the side of the pool and let his heart rate come down a bit before lithely pulling himself out of the water on the side of the pool.

He walked into the locker room and to one in the bank of lockers for day use. He pulled a towel out of it and began to dry off. Two men were talking from the adjacent aisle where another bank of lockers stood.

"I'm telling you she was hot," said a familiar voice. It was Kirk. The other man was laughing.

"Did you get her name at least?" he asked.

"Of course I did. Gaila, man. Green and beautiful!" said Kirk with relish.

Spock let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. They weren't talking about Nyota. The two continued talking but Spock didn't listen. He dressed and picked up his things to leave the locker room. Just as he rounded the corner Kirk appeared to his left. The two of them stood motionless for a second and looked at each other. Spock nodded to him and waited for Kirk to speak.

"Commander, I was just going for a beer. You want to join me?" Spock couldn't have been more surprised at the offer. He paused and looked at Kirk's smiling face and then replied.

"That would be a good idea." He had no idea what Kirk had to say to him about what he had witnessed earlier that afternoon but whether it was blackmail or not, he knew he had to find out to protect Uhura and himself from scandal if possible. The two men left the building and without speaking headed for a small bar off campus a few blocks away.

The bayside pub wasn't a student hangout like some of the bars around the Academy campus. Kirk had discovered it his second week at Starfleet. He liked the pub grub and the cold beer. It reminded him of home and was a favorite place for him to eat and study when he didn't feel like rocking and rolling with his comrades.

They entered the softly lit space and sat down away from the door. Kirk signed his order to the waiter behind the bar asking for two beers and then looked across the table at Spock. Spock waited with his hands folded in front of him for Kirk to speak.

"OK, Commander. I saw what was going on today between you and Lt. Uhura." Spock stiffened and stared back. In a quiet voice he asked.

"What are your intentions with regard to reporting this to Starfleet administration?" Kirk coughed and looked away then back to Spock leaning closer to him.

"Spock… May I call you Spock? Why would I report this to anyone?"

Spock narrowed his eyes trying to see into Kirk's mind for the truth.

"I don't care what the two of you do with each other. I'm not sleeping with her." Spock felt the anger beginning to rise up in him and checked it carefully before he spoke.

"But we have violated several Starfleet regulations and you are an eye witness of that."

"Have you violated Uhura?" Kirk asked with a tone of seriousness that Spock could sense clearly.

"Of course not," Spock replied quickly. "We mutually agreed to… spend time together." Kirk shrugged and took a long pull off the cold beer.

"Then fuck her brains out for all I care," he said casually. Spock raised one eyebrow but said nothing.

"You all look cute together." Kirk finished off the beer and put the glass down beside the one Spock had not touched.

"I'll keep your secret, no problem." Kirk leaned across the table. "But don't you hurt her or I'll kick your Vulcan ass." He stood up to leave but stopped and leaned down putting his face close to Spock's.

"That's a promise, Commander."

After Kirk left the bar Spock lifted the glass of beer to his lips and drank it down, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Clearly there was more to James T. Kirk than Spock had first thought.

Learning Human Nature

Chapter 7

Bon Voyage

With only two days till official start of the summer six-week holiday, Uhura knew she could avoid Spock till time for her to leave. She still had one exam in astro-physics scheduled of 0800 in the morning. She hoped she would pass but as she had no inclination to study at all since she returned to the dorm, she either knew the material or she didn't.

She hadn't heard from Spock either. And that nearly broke her heart. But she was determined to be patient and see what happened next. She dreaded the exam the next day. She was in astro-physics with Jim Kirk and she didn't know if she could face him without bursting into tears.

She admonished herself to "Get a grip Uhura." But it wasn't working very well. She didn't know if she even had a career in front of her and she was beginning to assume that she didn't have a lover either. Every time she started to think about him she felt so depressed she almost felt sick. Great state to be in for maximum academics, she thought. She envied Spock who was she suspected immune to this kind of angst. Or at least to compartmentalize logically.

She turned on her PADD to see if she had any messages. There was a message from her mother which she ignored. The next one, from her sister in Paris, was flagged "urgent." She opened the message and read.

"We've rented a house in Sardinia for four weeks. Max is bringing a friend from school (Gabriel – ooh, la, la) so you won't be able to shut yourself up with your books like you usually do. We're going to play bridge till we drop and you're the 4th. See you in a couple of days. Max says get your lovely ass over here. Let me know which flight to meet. Love you, Kendra."

She resolved to be strong and make the best of this. She had such a wonderful family and had always felt loved and supported. She was made of strong stuff and she would just have to bear this and get through it. The people that loved her would still love her no matter what. She heard the familiar sound of laughter in the hallway outside her door. When it opened, her bubbly room mate Gaila bounced in all smiles and three sheets to the wind.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in days," she said taking off her clothes as she sat down on her bed.

"I know, I've been busy," Uhura replied. "You OK?"

"I'm fabulous. I'm done with exams, I turn in my final project tomorrow and Kirk asked me to go with him to shoot pool tomorrow night. So I'm excellent."

"That's great," said Uhura with little conviction.

"I know you don't like him, but he's really ok once you get to know him," Gaila offered in Kirk's defense.

"Just not my type." She answered. But her mind screamed, 'Oh please don't let him even bring up my name.'

"No kidding," said Gaila. "I think his ears are all wrong for you." Uhura froze on the spot.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, right. Honey, it's OK to have the hots for teacher. Lots of girls do" Grabbing her robe from a hook on the back of the door, she added. "But I think he likes you too. I've watched him watch you." Uhura felt the color rise in her cheeks. Was her attraction to Spock known to everyone?

Still laughing Gaila headed into the bathroom and Uhura dropped down on her bed and pulled the privacy divider closed. She put her head on her pillow and wished for sleep to come and take away the sadness and worry that permeated her brain. Why hadn't he called or messaged her? Her last thought before sleep was of Spock.

It was late when Spock returned to his quarters. He had finished all but two stacks of student papers to be graded. And he seriously considered letting his grad student take care of those in the morning. If he timed everything right he could be on a ship and somewhere past Saturn before dusk tomorrow.

He needed to find a way to focus and think this through. He knew he had handled everything wrong. But the longer the time between when he walked off and left Nyota standing there alone and his not communicating with her, the easier it was to keep silent.

It was logical that discontinuing the relationship was in the best interests of both their professional lives. Nepotism and fraternizing were often a source of difficulty in institutions like Starfleet. If they stopped now perhaps, with Kirk's continued silence, both his and Nyota's careers might be saved.

But part of him, he supposed the human part, questioned if logic was the appropriate path to the solution of this problem. More conflict.

His Vulcan inclination was to discontinue the relationship with Lt. Uhura immediately and without fanfare or explanation beyond the obvious. And so the two sides of Spock fought one another for control.

Uhura would hate him for it. But even that might make it easier in the long run, he pondered. Let her go on and find a human mate. It was logical that if she were no longer infatuated with him she would be more likely to do that. Or was that just a cowardly way out?

It was all his fault he knew. Not only was he a higher ranking officer, he was also her instructor. Both positions gave him leverage that could be applied to her in unscrupulous ways. He needed to think… Was he guilty of using some subconscious authority over her? Did she feel pressured in some way to seek him out? Had he misinterpreted the past three days completely?

He knew that regardless of what he did now, he had already caused Nyota pain. He had imagined the look on her face as he walked away from her and felt shame that he had lacked the courage to look at her.

A sense of deep sorrow rose in him and he closed his eyes. He tried to breathe deeply and shut his mind off from it; to push it down deep enough for him to bear. How he wished that moment that he never allowed himself to become involved with her.

She checked her messages before going to her exam but there were none from Spock so she closed the PADD and vowed not to check again until she was finished with her exams and long gone from San Francisco. At this point she willed herself to stop thinking about him and start concentrating on her exam or she would fail.

The classroom was full of students taking the test, including Jim Kirk. She had dreaded seeing him but he only made brief eye contact with her as he walked past to his seat. Afterwards, he left with a crowd of students including Gaila and never looked Uhura's way. She wondered if he had said anything to anyone about what he'd seen between Spock and her but had no way of knowing. As soon as she had completed her test, she headed to the dormitory.

Uhura packed lightly and was on the shuttle to the commercial Terranair terminal by 1500 hours. She boarded the craft and sat back in the deep wedge seat to await lift off. They would exit Earth's gravity field and fly just above the atmosphere for 14 minutes before landing at Orly Field outside Paris. The craft was full of students and faculty making connections in other parts of the world. She could identify at least 12 Terran languages being spoken in the cabin from Farsi to Italian. She tried to listen in on the conversations but Spock kept invading her thoughts. The misery of wondering what had happened continued to plague her. Could he really have just washed his hands of her so lightly? After what they had experienced in his quarters she just couldn't believe he was such a… such a cad! Coming from someone like Jim Kirk that behavior would have been predictable. But from Spock? For the first time since he had walked away from her, anger began to rise alongside the pain. How cold he do that to her? She didn't deserve it.

She had no idea that she'd fallen asleep. The gentle descent and pitch of the ship woke her. Before she could really get oriented they were landing. She hurried along with the other passengers departing the craft and into the mass of humanity filling up the lines in customs. She stepped through the electroport and the uniformed handler nodded her through.

"Nyota!" her sister called her name across a causeway that led away from the arrivals port. She was waving madly and standing with the handsome Max, Kendra's love of some years now. Uhura waved back and forced a smile on her face. In minutes they were all together and after hugs and kisses all around they walked toward the terminal exit. Kendra slipped her arm in Uhura's.

"Well you look exhausted. Were your exams terrible?"

"They were hard," answered Uhura.

"I guess you're glad to have a break." She kissed her sister again and squeezed her arm. "We're leaving from here to catch a land train to Greece. Gabriel is already there. In fact his parents have the villa across the bay from ours. So we'll see him tomorrow. You're going to really like him."

"I'm sure I will." She offered a weak grin and leaned her head against her sister's cheek. She was glad to be here. The protective embrace of her older sister had healed many wounds in her life. She only hoped that this one would heal before it killed her.

The bullet train was smooth as glass and fast. So fast that by dusk they were pulling into the train station in Caligari. The three travelers grabbed their bags and picked up the rented car and headed north to Sedilo.

During the drive Kendra explained that Sedilo was still the home of the ancient horse races to commemorate Constantine's victory over Maxentious at the Mulvian Bridge in 312, where Constantine is reported to have seen a flaming cross inscribed with the words "in this sign thou shall conquer." Uhura barely heard her, she was so lost in thought. She had sneaked a look at her PADD and her inbox was still empty of any words from Spock.

She looked out the window as they drove along and wondered if she could possibly feel any lower than she did right then. She felt empty and vacant and didn't hear her sister's question.

"What? Sorry. I was zoning out."

"I said, did you hear from mother? She said she messaged you but didn't hear back." Uhura remembered seeing a message from her mother but hadn't responded.

"No I don't think I remember hearing from her. What did she want?"

"She was just wondering how you were I think." She studied Uhura's face in the dark of the car. "Are you OK? You don't seem yourself."

"Just really, really tired."

"You sure?" her sister asked.

"Yes, I'm sure."

Spock slept some on the voyage to Vulcan. But not much. He didn't sleep more than two or three hours a night normally and could go days without sleep if necessary. But the sleep he did have on the ship was full of troubling images fleeting and rough around the edges. He awakened with the feeling he hadn't slept at all and his head ached. He needed to find the time to meditate and cleanse his mind of all this. If he could.

He credited Jim Kirk with having some real character in offering his silence about his affair with Uhura. But Spock knew it was only a matter of time before other people knew about it and sooner or later it would get to the higher echelon of authority, most of whom might not take it as lightly. He silently cursed himself for letting this happen. He knew better. Had considered all this before hand and then ignored it completely. And now he feared he had hurt Uhura deeply with his silence.

He took a shuttle craft from the terminal to his parents' home in the mountains. His father was sitting on the expansive stone structure attached to their home. He walked out onto the large deck and waited for his father to look up from his work.

"Spock!" he rose from his chair and the two men walked toward one another. "It is very good to see you again." They stopped a distance apart.

"It is good to see you as well father." Spock looked toward the open door to the inside. "Is mother here?"

"Yes, she's sleeping. Though I'm sure she will be very pleased to see you when she awakens. Are you well? Will you want food?"

"I am well enough. But I wish to speak to you about an important matter."

"Of course Spock. Please sit." He gestured toward a chair beside the one he had been sitting in. The two sat down and Spock took a deep breath.

"Father, I have broken several Starfleet regulations and though I have not been charged with any infraction, I may be suspended from Starfleet at any moment." Sarek kept his steady gaze on his son, narrowing his eyes the slightest bit.

"Spock, I am shocked at this news. I never imagined this. Are you certain you have done so?"

"Yes. I am certain. And I deeply regret much of what I've done." Spock's father stared out over the mountain range beyond and was silent for a moment.

"I only ask this as a matter of information, not as a judgment…. Have you committed a capital crime or are you a fugitive from the authorities?" Spock lifted his eyebrow before replying.

"I am neither a fugitive nor a criminal. But I have broken the rules."

"Then as I know you to be a man of integrity, you must have had good reason."

"I wish I knew if that was true." Spock replied quietly.

"You said you regretted much of what you have done. But not all?"

"Not all. I broke the regulation regarding fraternization with a junior officer. And I regret that in so doing, I have compromised another. A woman, who was innocent of any wrong doing." Sarek sat up and peered into Spock's face intently.

"Spock you know I do not judge you, you must make your own way. But I am surprised at this."

"I am surprised myself Father. I have tried to allow logic to rule my life and to keep my emotions in check. Yet even knowing I was violating Starfleet regulations I could not seem to help myself." Sarek's face showed little as he sat back in his chair.

"Ah. I suppose I should have expected your human character to respond to a human woman. It would be only natural. I had thought you would be able to control that part of yourself."

Spock felt a flush of embarrassment, but he continued by saying, "On the contrary. I found I was unable to suppress my feelings for a Lieutenant who was also my student." Sarek was still for a moment, remembering his own

fitful years of struggle to understand humans and his own attraction to a human woman whom he had married. And whom he loved.

"Spock, do you intend to continue to be involved with her?" Spock looked down,

choosing his words carefully, speaking quietly.

"I believe the wisest course of action is to terminate my relationship with the Lieutenant."

"Do you intend to continue your service with Starfleet?"

"I hope to complete my term of commission," then added "If I am not asked to leave." His father replied almost casually.

"You will not be asked to leave. Starfleet is full of people who are more than willing to look away from a situation like this rather than have a scandal. But you must break it off with this woman as long as she is your student at the Academy. Of this I am sure." Spock nodded in understanding.

After what he'd done to her, he was fairly certain that Lt. Uhura was going to take care of that part herself and he would be unable to blame her if she did.

Learning Human Nature

Chapter 8

Wherever you go, there you are.

Just getting to the island was tiring especially after traveling all day from San Francisco. After the bullet train to the coast of Italy, they had taken a charter shuttle to Porto Torres, a city on a semi-circular bay in the northern part of the island. Uhura was impressed that Max had taken care of everything for them even to having a private vehicle waiting to take them to the villa he and Kendra had rented for the summer.

At the villa, Kendra led Uhura up a stairwell that wound along the wall to a second floor where two rooms divided by a hallway both opened on to a large balcony that gave a spectacular view of the sea and shielded the lower floor from the sun in the daytime.

"This is a beautiful room and it has a great view," she said helping Uhura with the two light bags she carried. She turned on the bedside lamp and took some towels out of a drawer in a side chest. "Here's some fresh towels. The bath is just over there," she said pointing across the hallway.

"Thanks," murmured Uhura. Kendra came over to her and gave her a completely engulfing hug.

"I know it must be something bad. But you know whatever it is, you can tell me don't you?" she put her forehead against Uhura's.

"I'm OK," was all she could reply. Tears began to well up in her eyes then and she turned from Kendra lest she have to deal with her sister's well intentioned but unwelcome ministrations.

Her sister left the room and Uhura unpacked her bags enough to find her sleep shirt and toothbrush. She crawled in between the clean, fresh sheets and closed her eyes trying not to think of Spock. How could this have happened? How could she have been so foolish? He must have thought she was another in a series of young women overly impressed with his intellect and cool demeanor.

He was aloof with everyone and somewhat "unattainable" and therefore much sought after among some of the young Starfleet cadets. As Gaila had put it, "lots of girls are hot for teacher." Uhura supposed she was one of many. How many had gone to bed with him she wondered? That thought alone made her sick.

Her mind came back to what she knew in her heart. Spock had said, in essence, that he had no previous experience with human females. Did that mean she was the only one? Didn't Vulcans always tell the truth? How could she have misread him so completely? "Some Xenolinguist I am,"she thought. She closed her eyes and banished the image that burned into her brain of the two of them entwined and passionate for each other. It had only been 48 hours since that shared encounter with him. She shook head and let the tears flow for real for the first time since leaving San Francisco.

Uhura awakened to the sound of the Mediterranean Sea lapping on the nearly white beaches. She opened her eyes slowly and let the white light seep in in increments. Her eyelids were crusty with dried tears. The crisp sheets smelled of some light spice. She left her face covered for a few more minutes till her pupils could adjust, then she flipped the sheet off and stared at the room.

A mass of turquoise and white met her gaze as she looked across the room and saw the Mediterranean Sea shining blue and clear from the balcony. The breeze that blew gently through the room carried on it the scent of flowers which vined up and around the walls of the balcony and the villa. She stepped out onto the tile floor and walked out of the door of her room to the balcony. Her sister was lounging in a chaise on the other side of the balcony, a tray of fruits, breads and cheese along with juice and a large samofar of coffee stood on a side table.

"Morning." said Kendra. "Coffee is hot and delicious. Help yourself."

"Thanks, I will." Uhura poured herself a large mug of black, steaming coffee and took a seat on a rattan chair opposite Kendra.

"Did you get any sleep?" asked her sister.

"Some, thanks." She replied.

"I don't want to pry…" started Kendra.

"Then don't."

"Nyota, you're a wreck. You've got to tell me what happened."

"Look, I made a big mistake. I did a stupid thing and I just need to be away for a while and get my mind straight before I go back."

"Did the stupid thing involve a man?"

"Yes, well… yes." Tears welled up and before she could stop them, trickled down her cheeks. Kendra took her hand and squeezed it hard.

"I'm so sorry 'kubwa' (my sister).Tell me, let it out."

Uhura could no longer hold back the deep sobs of her sorrow. Kendra held her in her arms and the ocean envied her cheeks so wet with her salty tears.

In the end she told her sister about the brief affair and her feelings for Spock. About the semester of careful conversations and spare looks when she passed him in the hallway or stopped to talk in his office. She had not thought that she'd thrown herself at Spock, though she felt if she hadn't gone over to his table that night he'd have never asked her out.

She talked about the night they went to the opera and how sad it made her to think that she and Spock could end up like Butterfly and Pinkerton. She put her hands over her face in shame.

"I can't believe I am so stupid. How could I have thought there was more to this?"

"Maybe there is more to this. I mean you don't know that he's not off somewhere beating himself up for leaving you. Have you contacted him?" Uhura nodded no. "Maybe he realized he was compromising his and your career and decided to back off."

"But he just walked away…. Without saying anything."

"I know, but after everything else you've said, he just doesn't sound like the type of man who would walk away for nothing. Maybe he was afraid he'd have to punch this Kirk guy in the mouth if he didn't walk away.

Uhura didn't know what to believe and she couldn't accept that Spock had fled to scene to keep from taking down Jim Kirk. Surely his Vulcan side had that under control. Kirk didn't even do anything except make a smart remark. No she believed that Spock walked away because he couldn't face the humiliation of their affair being discovered. She wondered how long it would be before the hollow feeling in her gut went away, or if it ever would.

The next few days were filled with sunshine and spent lazing around the villa or on the white beach watching the waves lap the shoreline. Kendra and Max had been true to their word regarding their friend and neighbor, Gabriel.

He was a handsome Frenchman, a colleague of Max's at the Sorbonne in Paris. A painter, and a brilliant strategist at the game of bridge. He drifted in for lunch and stayed till midnight almost every night for the first two weeks. He was witty and charming and he made a special effort to get Uhura to smile. He eventually received a smile from her after a long battle between he and Max over who would be partners in the afternoon game of bridge.

"I'll be devastated if I have to play with you one more day my friend." He said sadly to Max. "You couldn't bid a 6 heart hand if your life depended on it."

Something about the way his handsome face contorted into the sad clown just struck her funny and she smiled. He noticed immediately and announced,

"I claim my prize! The Lady Nyota is mine! I have made her smile." and lifted her hand to kiss her fingers. Uhura started to jerk her hand away but he loosened his grip so as not to force the gesture. Relaxing, she let him have her hand for a swift touch of his lips.

"Merci beaucoup, mademoiselle." He said in his native French. He swept his arm across his chest and bowed gallantly. "Now we shall win the game!"

"De rein," replied Uhura, 'it's nothing.' But she felt something lift from her soul in that one gesture. She held herself in the rest of the day, occasionally lost in thought and wagering whether or not she had decided to let go of her misery or if her merry "fool" was just a good distraction.

Spock spent the first weeks of his holiday on Vulcan meditating and attending lectures at the Vulcan Science Academy. With a "never let your guard down" tactic in place he moved through his days compartmentalizing his thoughts, like files on his computer, stacking them and organizing them relentlessly until at day's end his mind was neat and clean as a well swept floor. His father spoke to him when he needed to know something or wanted to share an opinion with him. But otherwise they never broached the subject of his Starfleet career or his affair with Uhura. And he received no word from anyone at Starfleet regarding his career or his infraction of the rules. His messages were full of student evaluations and submissions for student projects for the next semester.

He heard nothing from Uhura, nor did he expect to. And it was only at night, alone in his old room that he allowed the barrier in his mind to drop long enough to think of her.

He sat at his desk, reading a translation of a sub space transmission in an obscure Romulan dialect he had used as a test for students in the linguistics lab. He saw at the bottom of the document that it was signed, Lt. N. Uhura, and the date.

Had it only been a month ago that he held her and explored her body with his hands and mouth? Only a month ago that they had shared the secrets of their desire with each other? Someone knocked softly at his door.

"Spock?" he heard his mother's voice. "May I come in?" He rose and went to the door, opening it for her.

"Please mother, come in." He ushered her inside. She continued past him and walked outside to the small balcony that overlooked the Vulcan landscape. He followed her outside.

"Spock. I have been waiting for you to come to me with your pain."

"Mother… I cannot." She sighed and walked over to the ledge that rimmed the balcony.

"I love this place. I never thought I would, so foreign and volatile. But after nearly 40 years, I find I love it."

"I am glad you are happy here Mother."

"I made a life for myself on a path that was not one everyone could travel." Turning to him she asked, "Do you think I could do this if I wasn't strong?"

"No. It must have been very difficult to leave Earth behind and learn to live in a world alien to you." She came over to him and took his hand in hers. His hands were like his father's hands, strong with long elegant fingers.

"I know you are full of sorrow and loss. But I also know you are strong, like me. You are not all Vulcan Spock. Have you considered that your human side has as much to offer you as your Vulcan side? To feel this much pain you must have felt an equal amount of joy."

"I do not know Mother. I am conflicted about my feelings."

"I'm only asking you to listen to your human side and do what feels right."

"My human side…" he looked down and shook his head. "I have hurt someone I care about deeply. And I do not know what to do to rectify it." Amanda put her arms around her son and hugged him, feeling him stiffen in an effort to maintain his Vulcan composure.

"Spock, You have a great capacity to love and be loved. Go and set things right with her." He looked at her in surprise. He had not thought his emotions so transparent and he knew his father had not discussed his situation with her.

She continued, "No career, no culture, nothing is worth throwing away love. If you don't believe me, ask your father. He almost lost me once." He glanced at his mother and raised his eyebrow. Taking her hand and kissing it gently he said,

"Thank you Mother."

Learning Human Nature

Chapter 9

Something for the pain…

Life on Sardinia was pure, relaxation. No work, no effort to do anything particular, just eat, drink, sleep, play. It would be a perfect vacation except that Uhura was filled with misery and longing for word from Spock who still hadn't written to her.

She surmised that he was off planet. He had mentioned over the past few weeks that he was going to participate in a project on Vulcan over the hiatus from the Academy so she assumed that's where he was. Her first week on the island, she checked her messages every day and still nothing from him showed up in her inbox.

She composed messages to him several times but deleted them before they were sent. She honestly didn't know what to say. With no word from him she was at a loss. Should she tell him how much she missed him or tell him to go fuck himself? Her mood on this changed daily.

Her sister and Max, and on occasion Gabriel, had helped her come out of her brooding more than she had believed possible. But she kept coming back to a previous thought from the night she and Spock had attended the opera. What had happened between them was a little like what had happened with Pinkerton and Butterfly, despite his promise that he was nothing like Pinkerton. Spock had abandoned her and with no words of comfort or promise of return. "Butterfly was stupid for waiting all that time for him," she thought. "At least I didn't get pregnant."

She had promised herself that she wouldn't give her heart to him from the very beginning. She had promised herself that she would remain detached and enjoy a physical relationship but nothing more. And here she was behaving as if they had been bonded to each other. She had made a mistake in her judgment of him but it wasn't as if she was stranded, alone, with a child.

Day by day Uhura allowed the anger over his leaving her, gain strength over the hurt. She licked her wounds and began to let them begin to heal.

Her sister believed in distraction therapy so they went on shopping trips to buy knick knacks and locally made items of clothing some days. Other days they went to Porto Torres and ate at one of the little cafés that dotted the winding streets.

The island of Sardinia was beautiful. They swam in the blue Mediterranean nearly every day with Max and Gabriel paddling on their short surfboards out to catch the easy rolling waves off the north coast. Then at dusk they returned to the villa to eat and play hours of bridge which Uhura loved.

It was a game of strategy and courage, much like chess, and she had enjoyed playing since she was in grade school. She and Kendra had vied for top honors as family champion throughout girlhood. She recalled that the first thing Kendra had told her about Max when she first met him was not that he was handsome (which he was) or that he was smart, (which he was) but that he was a great bridge player. Her own interests had drifted to other things but Uhura had missed playing cards since attending Starfleet Academy where she never had time to indulge.

A month passed and Uhura began to accept that she was not going to hear from Spock.

At breakfast one morning Kendra told Uhura that Gabriel's parents had arrived and that they were having a party at their villa the following weekend. Gabriel had invited all of them to come and meet his parents and enjoy the food and the company. Kendra looked down at Uhura's bare toes and remarked,

"I think we need to spend a day in town." Uhura laughed. She did need a pedicure in the worst way. It was all too easy to neglect even simple things when you wore a bikini and a towel all day and a sarong all evening. She and Kendra set off for Porto Torres for some dress shopping and lady pampering.

Midway through the shopping trip Kendra decided her sister was a drag.

"Nyota, who taught you to pick out clothes?" Nyota frowned. "I know it wasn't me," she said with her arms crossed and a disparaging look on her face. Uhura had passed over every dress they saw and nothing seemed to strike her fancy.

"I just don't like dressing up that much. I wear a uniform most of the time remember?" She touched a coral colored dress on the rack and for a moment it reminded her of the dress she'd worn to the opera. She recoiled her hand.

"Now that is a pretty dress," said Kendra pulling it from the rack. "That would be a good color on you too."

"No. I don't like it," Uhura said and walked to another rack. She immediately picked up a turquoise silk dress that was modest but very pretty and in her size. "How about this one?" she said trying to put some enthusiasm in her voice. Kendra examined the dress and nodded her approval.

"Go try it on for pitty's sake." Uhura grabbed the dress and headed for the dressing room, Kendra following her to offer help zipping her up.

The two women joked and laughed at the crowded space but in the end Uhura tried on the dress and won the approval of her older sister. It did look nice and she was happy she'd bought it. She would think of the Sea every time she saw it.

Uhura hadn't powered up her PADD since the first week she'd arrived on the island since Kendra was on top of all things "family."

Her sister kept her up to date on her parents' comings and goings. And had informed her just that morning that her mother had been asked to lead a delegation to Cardassia and that their father was about to host a group of Vulcan Scientists interested in several new drilling techniques his company was testing. They both apologized for not being able to fly to the island for a few days.

The whole family seldom landed in one place any more and though everyone had dynamic individual lives, Nyota had thought it would be nice to see her father especially. They had always been close and as a child she had loved to spend time with him when he was not traveling around the universe on speculation trips necessary to his mining business. He had been her role model in so many ways even though she loved her mother very much. They just weren't as close as her mother and Kendra.

While Kendra and her mother went shopping for recreation, Nyota and her father went birding or snorkeling or spelunking. Her love of languages had come from him to be sure. He spoke nearly 20 languages and he had encouraged her by taking her with him on trips to many countries when she was little. She remembered him telling her he loved her in French when she was just a toddler.

Disappointed as she was, she knew that if he could spare the time, he would come to see her.

He had visited her in San Francisco a few months after she began Starfleet Academy wanting to see where she spent her time and inquiring about her friends.

She recalled that the evening of his visit, they had dined at a small Chinese restaurant just off campus known for its excellent food. Jim Kirk had been there too, eating with two other cadets. As they were being seated he saw them and stood up when they walked by his table.

"Lt. Uhura, very nice to see you," he said a bit formally. She rolled her eyes at him but spoke to be polite.

"Lt. Kirk, nice to see you too." Before she could move along he had reached out his hand to her father.

"Sir we haven't met, I'm James T. Kirk." Her father shook hands and smiled.

"Very nice to meet you Lt. Kirk. I'm Vernon Uhura, Lt. Uhura's father."

"Yes sir, it's a pleasure," replied Kirk. But the sparkle had left his eyes. Uhura knew the joke. Kirk thought he'd weasel her first name out of her father. Ha! She had loved that it drove him crazy not to know.

"Vulcan scientists," she thought. But before she had time to go any further with that thread Kendra called her from the other room.

"Nyota we need to get ready to go to dinner. How close are you?"

"I'm ready."

Spock had given a great deal of thought about what his mother said to him. They had a special bond because until he left for Starfleet Academy he had no other contact with humans except her. She had patiently taught him to speak Standard Federation and even English from birth so that he could think in another language besides Vulcan.

She had introduced him to foods similar to those on her home planet Earth, as best she could given the extreme differences in the two planet's climates. She had read stories of Earth's history and mythology to him as a child and supplied him with more reading material on Terran subjects as he grew up. No Vulcan cadet could have ever been better prepared to enter Starfleet Academy than he.

And though he knew it was a disappointment to his father that he chose Starfleet over the Science Academy on Vulcan, the light in his mother's eyes when he told her of his decision was worth it.

He trusted both his parents to treat him with love and fairness. His father's cool, logical approach to parenting was offset and complimented by his mother's warm inclusiveness. They had differing opinions on how to best proceed. Now he had to decide which one was right. And while he knew no one could decide that for him, he thought there was someone from whom he could gain wisdom.

He left his parents'home and traveled to the headquarters of the Science Academy. Once there he sought out his former teacher and mentor, Sunval. He had not visited the older man since his arrival back on Vulcan and indeed he did not know if he would be welcome without notice. It was a departure from Vulcan manners but he hoped his friend wouldn't refuse to see him. At the large sandstone building he trotted up the steps to the gaping doorway then into a cooler, shaded chamber. There he spoke to a valet at a tall desk.

"I'd like to see Sunval please."

"And you are…"

"Spock."

"Is he expecting you…"

"No. But I was hoping it would be convenient for me to see him."

"Spock." The valet repeated. He touched a screen and spoke softly to someone.

"Sunval asks that you meet him in the garden," he pointed down a long hall, "That way."

Spock walked down the corridor toward a dim light at the other end. The hall opened onto a large, dimly lit garden containing thousands of plants in a myriad of colors, shapes and sizes. The air smelled damp compared to the arid atmosphere outside. It reminded him of Earth. He removed his boots and placed them on the mat beside the other pair as was the custom on entering a garden. To his left he saw Sunval about 50 meters down a paved winding path. He was a bit stooped from years of bending over his beloved plants but looked much the same as he had when Spock was younger.

The older man turned toward him when he heard Spock's bare footsteps on the ceramic pathway. He was standing by a tall, bushy plant, abundant with an elongated fruit. Spock walked to him.

"Mangifera indica vulcanis." Sunval said almost reverently. Spock cocked his head to one side as he often did when he did not understand something.

"A Mango tree, Mr. Spock. A fruit tree native to Earth. But this hybrid has adapted to live on Vulcan." With a small very sharp knife he held in his hand, Sunval cut the stem of one of the multi-colored, pod-shaped fruits." He handed it to Spock who hesitated at first then took it from his mentor's wrinkled hands.

"I am familiar with the fruit," he said passively. Sunval raised his eybrow and peered at Spock.

"I suppose you are acquainted with many things most Vulcans will never experience." He had been one of the very few of Spock's many tutors and teachers to support his desire to attend Starfleet Academy. Spock had always found that when words failed him with others, Sunval understood what he was trying to say. "Would you like to sit?" he said, gesturing to a small table with stone benches around it. Spock nodded and the old man walked on. Spock followed him still carrying the mango in his hand.

When they were seated Sunval handed the small knife to Spock. Spock took the knife from him, but shook his head and handed it back to Sunval. The old man took both the knife and the fruit and began to make a cut around it.

"I am glad you have come to visit me Spock. I feared you had nothing to say to your old teacher. It is unpleasant for old teachers to think their students no longer need teaching," he said as he continued to cut the mango into two pieces.

"That day will never come for us Sunval," Spock said with respect.

Almost at once the scent of the ripe fruit assailed Spock's nostrils and flooded his mind with the memory of that afternoon with Uhura. Sunval noticed the difference in him but waited for him to speak.

"I need your wisdom Sunval," he said at last. The older man gently placed the two halves of the mango on the table.

"I am and will always be your friend Spock so speak your mind to me."

Spock asked his former teacher to meld his mind to Spock's. He didn't trust his spoken words to convey to Sunval everything Spock wished him to know. Sunval placed his hand on Spock's face, both men closing their eyes. It took less than a minute for the younger man's pain and misery and guilt to be crystal clear to Sunval. He concluded the melding and sighed softly before he opened his eyes. Then he spoke.

"When I planted the tree that bore this fruit I did not know if it would live or die. It was audacious to expect it to grow on a strange planet where only half of it had originated. And look at this." He pointed to the mango pieces. "Not only did it grow, it has thrived and produced a delicious fruit."

He took a slice and put it into his mouth with delight. "Surely this is wonderful, no?" Spock listened carefully. Sunval looked at him with knowing eyes.

"Spock, you are half human and half vulcan. This is not a curse. This is something for which to be proud. Though I am a Vulcan, I do not think we are a perfect people. Our decision to let logic rule our lives, while serving a great purpose, has robbed us of something. Something you have inside you because you are half human."

"What is that Sunval?" Spock queried.

"The desire to pursue joy." Said the old man. "I believe you must satisfy that pursuit to be whole," the he added, "It isn't easy living up to being human Spock but necessary in your case."

Spock said nothing but his mind raced ahead. He knew he must get back to Earth at once and find Uhura and tell her of his feelings for her. He had to apologize to her for everything that had gone wrong and ask her to forgive him and take him back as her lover or if not, as her friend. And he had to accept the fact that she might not want him back.

"Spock, perhaps you have spent as much time on Vulcan as is required at this time," Sunval spoke at last. "I do have a request of you however."

"If it is in my power to grant it, then yes," said Spock.

"A team of scientists is leaving for Earth the day after tomorrow. They will be meeting with a man there to discuss new developments in mining equipment as part of our ongoing collaboration in this industry so important to our planet." Spock looked at him with interest. Sunval went on, "I believe you are proficient in Standard Federation and several native Earth languages."

"Yes, I am," said Spock feeling a slight rush in anticipation of Sunval's next words.

"I would like for you to take your leave of your parents and return to Earth with this group. I would ask that you act as an interpreter and also to report back to me as my acting secretary," he finished, "If you would be willing of course. It is only a few weeks, is it not, until you are due back at Starfleet in any case?" Sunval said offhanded. Spock nodded affirmative and stood to say goodbye.

"Thank you Sunval for this opportunity to be of service to you." Though he had not seen Sunval make any gesture or call, he saw that a woman had arrived and was standing by the door to the hall. Sunval motioned to her.

"This is T'Vas. She will make your travel arrangements." Spock lifted his right hand and made the Vulcan gesture of farewell.

"Live long and prosper Sunval." The old man offered Spock the same in return and Spock walked quickly to meet T'Vas.

Learning Human Nature

Chapter 10

"Insufficient facts always invite danger."

When Spock disembarked from the shuttle with the rest of the Vulcan contingency he was struck once more by the heaviness of the Terran air and for a few minutes had to adjust his breathing to accommodate his lungs. The other Vulcans each carried a small palm respirator in their pockets as standard issue for visits to Terran type planets. But as a human/vulcan hybrid he seemed to adjust quickly and had no need for the device.

The four Vulcans had arrived at a large hotel near Paris where they would meet with several representatives of the mining industry for a three day conference on advances in drilling techniques. Though this wasn't of particular interest to Spock, he was mindful that he was here on a mission. The important part of which was to find out where Uhura had traveled after she left Starfleet Academy on semester break.

He checked into his room and charged the PADD to look at the itinerary sent to him by the Terran Mining Consortium. After reading it, he closed the file and opened his message inbox. Nothing from Nyota. Though he couldn't blame her if she never spoke to him again, a new sense of hope had captured his spirit and he felt lighter in some way.

He had sent her simple message before leaving Vulcan and hoped the transmission would arrive in tact as non-essential interplanetary communication was subject to frequent failure or delay. It read:

"Nyota, I am on my way to you. Please tell me where you are. Spock"

If she took offense at his trying to communicate with her after nearly 5 weeks of silence she might not even read a message from him. He would have to reach her some other way.

His mother had been very happy when he announced he was returning to Earth early to fulfill Sunval's request of him, and she hoped, to return to the woman he so clearly loved.

His father was pleased that Spock had been invited to attend the conference and as always was proud of his son's reputation in the science community. In any case, his departure from Vulcan had been uneventful till the last moment when his mother always became somewhat emotional at their leave-taking. Her eyes were bright but she did not shed tears.

Instead she embraced him tightly and whispered to him, "I am so proud of you, and I love you Spock." He had returned the sentiment in his way.

"Mother, I am grateful for your guidance and love."

The conference had been monotonous and Spock spent most of his time alone going over spec sheets on drills and other equipment the Terran Mining Co. wished to market on Vulcan. He had thankfully had little translating to do as the Vulcan participants spoke little and then mostly to one another. At the end of the third day he was ready for his duties on behalf of Sunval to be completed. He had written hundreds of words conveying all aspects of the proposals to Sunval who responded with a note of gratitude and the confirmation that as soon as the conference was over, Spock's commitment was fulfilled.

The reception at the close of the conference was formal and thankfully brief. Though he wasn't there on behalf of Starfleet, Spock wore his dress uniform as it was acceptable as formal attire.

As he was speaking with one of the Vulcan science delegates, the conference director and another man came up to them and spoke to them in Standard Federation.

"Good evening sirs. I'm Marcus Bening. I don't believe you have yet met one of our most advanced mining experts." The second man was tall and had a look of confident intelligence. "This is Vernon Uhura of Terran Mining Inc. Mr. Uhura, this is Sedvik and Spock of Vulcan."

"I am pleased to meet you both. Thank you for coming," he smiled but nodded in the acceptable Vulcan greeting rather than offering his hand to shake.

Spock's face went blank for a second as his brain processed the information he had just heard. Could it be that this man was somehow part of Uhura's clan or family? He had no idea how common her family name was among humans. He looked into the other man's eyes and tried to see if he detected any resemblance to Uhura but he could not.

"I apologize for not knowing how to greet you in Vulcan, but my daughter, who is somewhat of an expert in languages, says I wouldn't be able to pronounce the words."

For a moment Spock felt a warm sensation rise along his spine to the nape of his neck. He quickly tried to calculate the odds of there being another Uhura whose daughter was a linguist. But the needed statistics were unavailable to him and he stopped trying. Sedvik was saying something to him in Vulcan, he refocused and listened to his colleague then translated.

"Mr. Uhura, we thank you for the hospitality," Spock said calmly in Standard Federation. But in truth his mind was reeling. This was beyond the realm of logic. If Spock had believed in the miraculous he would have had to admit this was it.

For the remainder of the reception Spock divided his attention between translating for the one Vulcan delegate who did not speak Standard Federation and keeping an eye out for a chance to speak with Mr. Uhura privately. He didn't know exactly what he intended to say to him, but he hoped to find out where he could find Nyota without having to reveal why he was looking for her. Just before they were to leave the reception site he saw his opportunity.

Mr. Uhura was standing alone by a large fountain having just said his good byes to several of the other attendees. Spock walked deliberately over to him. The older man was contemplating the water falling from an arrangement of stones built into the wall structure.

"The water is very soothing isn't it Mr. Spock?" he asked as Spock stood looking at the water beside him. Spock thought he heard a hint of Uhura's voice inflection in the words.

"Indeed it is. I have especially missed the water since I returned to Vulcan for the semester break from Starfleet Academy." Spock replied. Mr. Uhura looked at him more closely.

"But you are not a cadet there, your rank insignia is that of a Commander. Correct?"

"Yes, sir. I am an instructor there."

"My daughter, Nyota, attends Starfleet Academy. She's a cadet there studying Xenolinguistics."

"Yes sir, I am acquainted with her," Spock ventured.

"Acquainted?" said Mr. Uhura his eyes probing Spock's face as he began to suspect there was more here than polite conversation. Spock drew in a breath and continued.

"Mr. Uhura, it is extremely important that I find Nyota and talk with her," he went on, "I made an error in judgment which I deeply regret. I would like to apologize to her… in person," he finished.

"Are you the man who has made my daughter so unhappy?" Mr. Uhura asked bluntly.

"Yes sir. I believe I am that man," replied Spock who suddenly wished he could beam away from this spot.

If Vernon Uhura had not seen something in Spock that told him the younger man was sincere he might have resorted to an ancient Earth custom of pummeling Spock with his fists. He had received several messages from his older daughter that Nyota was trying to get over a failed romance with someone at the Academy. He had never imagined she would be involved with a Vulcan. Yet here he was standing in front of him, admitting his transgressions. Not many young men of today had that kind of character, he thought.

"Sir," Spock interjected again, "If you could tell me where I might find her… She has not replied to my message of inquiry. And I do not know how to reach her otherwise." Uhura saw that the young Vulcan was clearly distressed.

"Why should I help you find my daughter?"

"Because I have crossed a universe to make amends." Spock said.

The older man was thoughtful for a moment then he spoke choosing his words carefully.

"Commander Spock, Nyota is my most beloved child. I could never do anything to cause her pain. It seems the same cannot be said for you."

"I regret that you are correct Mr. Uhura for I have injured her feelings."

Something in the young Vulcan's voice told him that Spock was intent on making things right with Nyota. And on instinct alone he replied.

"She is on Sardinia, off the coast of Italy. She's staying outside Porto Torres in Villa Palatino with her sister and some friends." Then he looked Spock in the eye, hoping he was doing the right thing. "But I warn you Mr. Spock, do not trifle with my daughter. Or you will answer to me." Spock only nodded and left quickly with the rest of the Vulcan delegation who were waiting for him at the transport shuttle.

Vernon Uhura wondered if he would regret what he had just done and hoped he would not.

Free from the responsibilities of the mining conference Spock checked out of the hotel the following morning after packing his belongings and sending them on to San Francisco. He wanted to travel light and took a shuttle to the Orly Field where he boarded a craft bound for Rome. After a layover of several hours, he located a private shuttle pilot who, for a price, would fly him to Porto Torres.

Arriving on the island just after dark with only his civilian clothes and a small pack, he stopped at the local hotel and secured a room. He touched the PADD on the table by the bed and searched the map and locations of several villas. He didn't see Villa Palatino listed but decided to set out to find it and, he hoped, Nyota.

The afternoon of the party both Kendra and Nyota had spent their share of time in the bathroom getting "fru-fru" as Max put it. No one would deny they made quite an entrance when they walked down the stairs both dressed in silk, looking and smelling feminine and sensual, elegant and hot.

At the party, Kendra noticed fairly early that Nyota was drinking champagne one glass after another. Normally she wouldn't worry as her little sister was fairly well known to be able to hold her liquor. But ever since arriving on the island she had been so down that Kendra wanted to keep a watchful sisterly eye on her. She was thankful that Gabriel had been in perfect attendance on her all evening.

As some of the guests danced to the band and others gathered around in small groups to chat, Gabriel saw that Nyota had reached her limit if she was going to leave the party on her own two legs.

He saw Kendra and waved her over to where he stood by the French doors that led to the garden and then the beach.

"I think I ought to take Nyota home."

She frowned but said, " I'll go with her." But Gabriel waved her off.

"No, I'll take her. You stay here with Max," he winked, "You might be his good luck charm. He's playing cards with my father."

"OK, be careful." She tossed him the keys to their front gate and went back inside to find Max. She wasn't worried as long as Nyota was with Gabriel.

The drive home was dreamy for Nyota. Of all the alcohol she had ever consumed, champagne provided the most luscious altered state of consciousness. It was sometimes rough the next day but delicious while it lasted. She felt cozy in the front seat of Gabriel's car and for the first time since they met she felt completely comfortable with him.

He had been nothing but a dear companion since they arrived. Casual and sweet in a non-committal way, she liked his easy manner and cavalier attitude to life. It was a stark contrast to Spock's serious and logical approach to life.

They pulled into the drive that led up to the villa and parked in front of the gate at the front door. She was not drunk but she was high from the champagne and giggled once or twice as they got out of the car. Gabriel fumbled with the old fashioned lock, swearing in French as he tried to insert the key. Nyota laughed at his tantrum and took the keys from him.

"Here let me do that." She grabbed the keys from his hand and he protested.

"No, no, I've got it." He laughed too grabbing her hand. Before she knew what was happening he kissed her.

She hadn't expected it and if not for the champagne, wouldn't have accepted his kiss. But at that moment all the misery of the previous month dropped away and she kissed him back full on the mouth. He put his arms around her and for several minutes they stood at the gate unaware of anything but their frivolous pleasure.

Spock looked around getting his bearings and letting his eyes adjust to the lack of light, the sun having set a couple of hours earlier. The hotelier had identified the location of Villa Palatino and from the map it looked to be about a thirty minute walk from the hotel. He decided it would do him good to stretch his legs and consider how he would put into words all he needed to say to Nyota.

He had so much for which to atone that he did not know if he could convince her he was truly contrite. And that if she would have him, he would happily promise himself to her and none other. He wished to replace the ache in himself with something his mentor Sunval had recommended… joy.

He walked for about a half an hour and eventually saw the centuries old sign that read 'Villa Palatino" carved in a piece of a stone in a wall at the end of a gravel drive. He stopped for a moment then began the walk up the gently sloping drive to the villa past a long row of cedar trees.

He saw them in the dim light of the waning half moon. At first he thought the couple entwined together in an embrace was a statue similar to ones he had seen on his walk to the villa. It seemed all of Italy loved to commemorate lovers in marble. He knew before he actually recognized Nyota, that it was her. Something in his stomach gave a twitch of fear and he stopped where he was and watched them for several minutes.

He knew then he had come too late.

Almost involuntarily he took another step. He was only 10 meters away and could see them clearly in silhouette against the light from the gate lamp. Her hand was on the man's neck as she leaned her head against his shoulder. Spock stood motionless.

Nyota heard the crunch of gravel behind them and stopped, her lips parted enroute to Gabriel's mouth for another pleasant kiss.

She felt his gaze and suddenly whirled away from Gabriel's arms, looking at the ghostly figure standing in the drive. The only features she could make out were his arched brows and black eyes. For a second she thought she was hallucinating.

"Spock?" she said in disbelief. As if in a dream Spock saw her turn toward him and then he felt a blinding flash of pain hit him somewhere in his chest. He couldn't speak and his legs felt like they belonged to someone else. He turned and started walking quickly down the drive. He might deserve this but that didn't mean he could bear to see it.

"Spock!" Nyota screamed after him. She fled Gabriel and ran after him. "Spock.!" She screamed again. She thought she might have imagined him standing there. But she ran on, hoping against hope that it was really Spock. That he had really come for her at last.

She reached the bottom of the drive and stopped, listening for his footsteps. She saw no movement and heard nothing but the sea and the keening of the nighthawks. She heard Gabriel coming down the drive behind her. He touched her arm.

"Nyota, what is it? What did you see?" She looked for a moment longer and then shook her head.

"I don't know. Nothing I guess."

Spock walked toward the sound of the sea. Coming through a thicket of small trees crumpled and stunted from the constant barrage of sea wind, he saw the water sparkling in the dim moonlight. He dropped to his knees and facing it, sank down onto his thighs in the sand trying to regulate his breathing and calm his mind. He concentrated on entering a deep meditative state. The extreme emotions he felt were too much for him. His Vulcan half was engorged with rage and sorrow all of which his human half seemed determined to make him feel to the last bit.

He had no idea how long he knelt there but the stab of pain in his knees as he rose told him it had been some time. The moon had moved lower on the far western horizon and the stars had danced across the sky overhead. He looked up at them and wondered what he was to do without her. He knew it was oblivion he sought now, not joy.

Learning Human Nature

Chapter 11

Things work out for the best

The craft hovered above the landing pad in San Francisco and gently dropped down till all four legs rested on the tarmac. The large door on the side opened and the ramp extended. Passengers began disembarking down the ramp. Among them a young Vulcan carrying a shoulder pack walked gracefully toward the terminal, head up, gaze level.

Spock had intended to return to San Francisco at the end of the conference in France, but not alone. The thought of Uhura entered his consciousness and he banished it immediately.

Logically things had turned out for the best. He would go back to his work and his career and Uhura would seek her own path with someone of her own kind. He had never forgotten that he was bonded to someone of his own kind, though it had been arranged when they were very small children and he had only met her one time. But again he thought, "things work out for the best."

If he and Uhura had gone further in their romance, eventually he would have had to either dishonor his family by breaking a bonding contract or compromise his relationship with Uhura.

He entered his quarters and noted that the time was 0100 as he put his bag down by the bed and removed his shoes. He didn't feel sleepy but he was fatigued. First he stepped to a panel on the wall by his bed and spoke, "lights, low." He saw a cup he'd left on the counter in the galley and he picked it up and put it in the recycler, pressing the button to disintegrate the vessel. He had left word with the building valet to discontinue housekeeping services while he was away for there was even less for the domestic staff to do in his quarters if he was absent.

He lay on the bed without removing his clothes. He turned back the coverings and lay down on the sheets, stretching out full length and rolling over on his stomach.

The smell of jasmine and sandalwood rose to meet his nostrils. It was her smell, left on the sheets from their night of lovemaking. He reached for the pillow on which her head had rested and pulled it to him, burying his face in it. Something like a sob began from his throat but he pressed it down. His sleep was empty, dark and dreamless.

Spock awoke just after the sun crept in his window. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling fully awake but in no hurry. He decided he would dress and go to work. He felt hungry and thought he'd stop at a vendor's kiosk in the lobby and purchase some fruit to eat. The first contact he made was to housekeeping. A woman's voice answered the comm.

"This is Commander Spock in the Titan Tower complex. I have returned from hiatus and would like to have someone service my quarters today."

"We can do that sir," said the pleasant voice.

"And make sure they change the sheets on the bed please."

"I'll make a note of that sir. Thank you for contacting us," then she added, "I hope you had a nice break Mr. Spock." He was silent. "Sir?"

"Yes, thank you," he said and ended the transmission.

The part of him that was Vulcan was usually able to compartmentalize thoughts or fractions of thoughts and process them simultaneously. As he dressed he started the litany of work related thoughts, lists, tasks, actions, blotting out of his mind those things about which he did not wish to think. Like Nyota. Her name floated in front of his temporal lobe like a neon sign, forcing him to see it before pushing it aside. .

He spent most of the day in his office doing necessary but unimaginative tasks. He spent a great deal of time going over rosters for graduate students who were scheduled to assist in the linguistic lab, his pet project and more of a hobby than a duty. He filled in the semester work schedules for everyone including Uhura and himself, making sure they were never in the lab at the same time.

His regular classes in tactical warfare were already posted and he checked to see who had signed up to take advanced battle tactics. He saw one familiar name, a second year student, James T. Kirk. The rest were third year students.

He made a notation to inquire if Lt. Cadet Kirk had all the pre-requisites for the class, which, he expected, he did not. The man operated under a sense of entitlement and arrogance that was amazing to Spock. But, he surmised Kirk had kept his word not to report Spock and Uhura to Starfleet command for violating the rules.

Only a few colleagues were back at work already, but from the pleasant reception he received from them, Spock knew his father had been right about no one at Starfleet caring overmuch about his affair with a junior grade. He refused to say her name to himself. About dusk he closed his PADD and packed it into his bag and left work.

On the way home he pondered his situation as it stood. With Uhura otherwise involved he knew he ought to consider changing his own plans. He believed he would be welcome into the Science Academy on Vulcan but only if he resigned his Starfleet commission. But that five-year commitment to Starfleet was complete at the end of this coming semester.

It was a logical path to choose. An alternative to his original plan but one he knew would allow him to leave the Academy. He felt an obligation to offer his best effort and he didn't think that Starfleet Academy was the place where he could do that now.

He considered asking Starfleet for an early assignment on a galaxy class ship. It had always been his intention to pursue starship duty but the assignment to teach at the Academy had suited him well. Most of the new galaxy class vessels were in the completion stages of construction and would be test-flight ready by next year.

As he turned to leave campus he saw a familiar face coming toward him. The sincere smile on Captain Pike's face was welcome.

"Commander Spock! It's good to see you. Are you back from break already?" he asked when they were close enough to talk.

"Yes. I returned yesterday, Captain."

"I hope you rested up but knowing you I suspect that you worked the entire time you were away. Am I right?" said Pike laughing.

"I do not require 'vacation' in the same way as humans do Captain," Spock replied.

"So when are you going stop harassing students and put in your request for an assignment on a starship? I've got a feeling you'd enjoy it."

"I believe that as well, sir. But I do have commitments to fulfill here."

"I'd take you as my number one any time, remember that."

"I will Captain. Thank you."

"Well good night," said Pike. He turned and walked on toward his destination and Spock continued to his quarters.

Uhura had to make several excuses to get out of going to town with Kendra and Max the evening following the party. Gabriel had voice messaged her twice but she wasn't in the mood to talk to him and her head hurt from the champagne. She had drunk too much. She didn't really remember much about the evening after she and Gabriel left the party except the haunting image she saw standing on the drive.

It had been constantly on her mind since last night. She really thought she had seen Spock. But the reality of it appeared to be that she only imagined seeing Spock there. She couldn't think of any other plausible explanation.

Early in the evening she drug out her PADD and decided to check her messages, which she hadn't done in nearly a week. The most recent was from her father, sent early the previous morning. It read:

Nyota,

I met a friend of yours in Paris. He said he was looking for you so I told him where you were. I hope that was the right thing to do.

His name is Spock.

Love,

Papa

PS – I like him.

Uhura sat open mouthed and re-read the message. She had seen Spock. It had been him in the drive. But why had he vanished into thin air? Suddenly the entire scene between her and Gabriel played back in her mind. She had drunk a lot of champagne, they had been laughing, she fell asleep in the shuttle, they couldn't get the gate key to work, they had kissed… they had kissed.

"He saw us," she said aloud. Then she screamed and without stopping to consider anything but going to him she got up and started packing. Frustrated with the delay it would mean to gather her things she pulled on a clean shirt and skirt. She pulled on a pair of soft boots, grabbed the PADD and her backpack and left the villa on foot.

At the foot of the driveway she met Max and Kendra in their shuttle coming back from dinner. She flagged them down and breathlessly started talking to Kendra before she could open the hatch.

"Kendra, hurry. Open the hatch, I have to get to Rome. Take me to the shuttleport.

"What are you doing? What's happened?" asked her sister.

"It was him. Last night. It was Spock. He came for me but he saw me kissing Gabriel." She climbed in behind Kendra through the hatch and hunched forward. "Come on, I have to get to Rome. I can catch an intercontinental transport from there if I get there before midnight."

"You kissed Gabriel?" she looked across at Max and shrugged. "I thought Gabriel was gay," and then to Max. "Didn't you think Gabriel was gay?"

"Who cares?" Uhura shrieked. "Come on! Max let's go." Uhura pushed on his arm and he turned the shuttle around banking it as he sped away toward the shuttleport in Porto Torres. It was just after 11 am. He hoped they could make it in time because he was pretty sure he didn't want to be around Uhura if they didn't. This Spock guy must have it was all he could say.

Uhura fumbled in her bag and checked to see if she had her ID and then turned on her PADD to see if her card had enough credits on it to purchase her ticket. Max flew past slower shuttles and wove his way around whatever obstacle stood in the way of his getting to the shuttleport quickly.

He pulled up to the departures entry and popped the hatches on the shuttle. Uhura nearly leapt out and Kendra followed her to say goodbye.

"Little sister I hope you know what you're doing."

"I do, I do." She kissed her sister on the cheek and giving her a quick hug she was off through the terminal doors.

She hoped Spock was back in San Francisco and hadn't jetted off to parts unknown. She decided to go back to the Academy and hope he was already there. She looked at the time; it was 11 pm local time. Depending on what flight she could get, straight over or connecting, she might get there in anywhere from 3 to 7 hours.

She wasn't able to get a direct flight after all. Rome Terraport was swamped and most flights with destinations outside Italy were heavily booked. She bought a standby ticket for San Francisco via London and sat down to wait. She would be there by 10 pm at the latest. Sub-space travel had confused the time calculations even more with people arriving at destinations the day before they left.

Her shuttle touched down in San Francisco at 9pm Pacific time.

Spock touched the panel outside his door and went inside. He removed his uniform and placed it in the refresher. Then naked, he walked into the bathroom, turned on the sonic shower with, "sonic on," and stepped inside.

After a few minutes he changed his mind and spoke into the panel on the outside of the shower stall, "water hot." At once water started streaming from jets built into the walls of the shower from several angles and heights. In seconds he was soaked and stood in the steaming water leaning his forearms on the wall of the shower, his forehead against the cool ceramic tile.

The hot water did what his mind and the sonic waves had not been able to do all day, relax the muscles in his neck and shoulders. He felt the soreness of the fatigue melt away as the heat crept into his body. He remained in the water shower for several more minutes before he cut it off by saying, "water off."

He dried himself with a towel and stood before the mirror over the sink. He had no vanity with regard to his looks but he noted that he had lost weight and looked perhaps a bit gaunt. He also needed to remove the hair from his face but decided it could wait till the morning. He walked back into the main room and pulled a pair of soft pants from a drawer panel in the wall. He pulled them on tying the drawstring so that they wouldn't fall off his hips.

Padding barefoot across the room to the galley he stopped in front of the replicator and said, "Replicator: on." When the light on the front of the machine's door came on he said, "Spice tea: hot." The door slid back seconds later to reveal a steaming cup of liquid. He put it to his lips testing the temperature and then walked over to the large window behind his bed that overlooked the sparkling lights of the community that was Starfleet.

For almost two miles the campus twinkled with the work lights of construction operations, the exterior lighting on buildings and transport vehicles both on the ground and in the air. He looked up and saw a few stars not faded by the light pollution of the city and wondered if he would ever get up there. He finished the tea, put the cup in the recycler, and walked to his bed.

He turned back the bedclothes and lay down on the clean sheets on his back. No scent of her remained. He lay like that for a while letting his mind wander where it wanted, not trying to control his thoughts.

He was resigned to living without her but he knew he would not ever stop wanting her or loving her. He fought himself to keep from saying her name out loud.

Uhura got out of the shuttle cab and ran up the steps to the massive Titan Tower where she prayed to all the forgotten gods that she would find Spock. She got off the turbo lift on his floor and walked down the hallway to his door.

She touched the keypad beside the door.

Inside Spock had just drifted off to sleep when he thought he heard the door chime. For a second he did not respond but when it chimed a second time, he got up and walked to the door. He pressed the keylock and the door hissed open.

For a moment he thought he might be dreaming. But when Uhura stepped inside he knew he was not.

"Spock," she hesitated waiting to see if he would welcome her or throw her out. He stepped back and closed the door.

"I do not understand why you have come here." he said.

"Spock, I am so sorry about Gabriel. It was nothing. He is my friend." He raised his eyebrow.

"I do not understand why you are apologetic. I am the one who wronged you, not the other way around. If an apology is in order it should come from me, not you."

"Is an apology in order?" she asked remembering the suffering his leaving had caused her.

"I am certain that it is," he said, "I hope you will accept mine for the pain I have caused you." He was uncertain if he had said the right words.

She nodded up and down, too relieved to speak, but could not prevent the tears welling up in her eyes. She took in a breath to keep from letting out a sob. He stepped to her and touched her arm. He slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

"My beloved Spock." She put her hand on his cheek raising herself up to meet his lips. He kissed her deeply and held her in his arms as tightly as he dared lest he crush her.

He put his face in her hair and sucked the scent of her into his lungs and whispered "k'hat'n'dlawa." He felt a new sensation in his body and soul. He thought it might be joy.

fini