"Beej! Hey, Beej! Hello there, is anybody home?!"

Kevin frowned. Lately, his best friend's attention was somewhere beyond everything, even beyond the Neitherworld, which was quite impossible. Kevin watched as Beetlejuice was putting new photos into the album. If he was correct, it was the first occasion that anything new was added there. So what was that supposed to mean?

Kevin kept watching for another ten minutes but since Beetlejuice hasn't even noticed his presence he decided to use drastic measures. A blue ray zapped across the room and hit BJ's chair which instantly disappeared.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" Beetlejuice yelled, soundly falling onto his ass.

"Well, it's become kinda hard to make you notice anybody around you."

"Don't you have anybody else to practice your juice on?" Beetlejuice grunted, standing up and stroking his soar butt.

"That's exactly what I wanted to talk about, BJ. I've been thinking… about our purpose here and all… and I asked myself why we must do pranks on everybody? Of course, it's fun, but only for us. We must bring fun into this world, I am sure there is another, peaceful, way to do this without being hated by everybody."

"Have you been spending too much time around Lyds lately? What is it about peace and happiness?"

"Isn't it the other way around? First you disappear without saying anything, she comes here obviously knowing where you are and saying nothing, even to me, then you start disappearing the absences at least a week long. And I can bet my juice that you were together somewhere. So what's going on?"

"Nothing," Beetlejuice answered, staring at the floor and pushing dust with his boot. Something was definitely up.

"So what about the new closed door?"

"What door?"

"Down the hall. There was no room there a month ago. I am sure of it."

"Just another room."

"Why is it closed then?"

"Because."

"What's with you? We've never had secrets between us before."

"It's going to be Lyds's room," Beetlejuice said reluctantly.

"For when she stays over?"

"Basically…"

"You should've done it a long time ago. I mean why must she sleep on the coach all the time? What do you mean by basically? She's been looking a bit seek lately. You didn't put only a bed there, right?" Kevin asked with reproach.

"Sick, yeah," Beetlejuice drawled, glancing at the opened photo album, where were pictures of Lydia swirling around with the Eiffel Tower in the background.

Kevin followed his glance. "What's that?" He looked at the date under the photo. "A month ago? You two went to Paris? What for?"

"She wanted to visit the capital of fashion."

"But we have our own Paris right here! Why waste time on the uncool one? I am surprised you agreed."

"It was one of her last wishes, so it was impossible to refuse."

Kevin didn't hear any displeasure in Beetlejuice's words. He seemed very eager to fulfill any of Lydia's desires. "Okay. Now tell me exactly what's going on," the boy demanded.

"Remember when we were at the wedding, Lyds told you that you could make the ceremony as short as you want if I… if I-I-I-I got m-m-m-married?"

"Yeah."

"Then you have a chance to do just that."

……………….

Usually the date of the wedding ceremony is put way in advance, but with Lydia and Beetlejuice it was exactly the opposite and not because the ceremony was going to be conducted in the Neitherworld. The reason originated from Lydia's sickness and its development, the ritual couldn't be done before her reaching the end of her living days.

Nevertheless the preparations were going in full swing and in complete secrecy. Only a selected number of people were invited. On Lydia's insistence Beetlejuice's parents were added to the guests' list, despite the groom's whining. And finally the day of the big event had come.

"Are you sure you know what you are doing?"

"And what you are doing here, Juno?" Beetlejuice grunted, juicing himself one outfit after another, but none of them seemed to suit him.

"Doing my job, what else?"

"I don't remember you on the guests' list."

"I don't plan to crash your wedding, if that's what you are afraid of. I did too much paperwork to make it all happen. Juice Wielders are forbidden to marry as you know."

"But they are not forbidden to participate in Souls Binding ceremony through marriage," Beetlejuice retorted with a smug smirk. Finding loop holes in any kinds of laws was his specialty. "I bet, everybody was running like headless chickens when you informed them about this development."

"Chickens, cats, dogs, pigs and cows. The paragraph was added at once."

"But they can't stop me now anyway. Breaking rules, you know I love it."

"What about her? Do you love the girl?"

"None of your business."

"And not for the record?"

"Do you remember how it feels to be alive?"

"What do you think? I am two times older than you," Juno grumbled, but Beetlejuice didn't miss the spark deep in her colorless eyes.

"The feeling of hot blood running through your veins, the warm touch of another person, the feeling of excitement and happiness bubbling inside you, not dreading the coming of the next day – don't you remember anything of that, Juno?"

"I do have some idea about what you are talking about…"

"Call it whatever you want, but Lydia makes me feel alive."

Juno gasped. The motion made her cough because of the smoke. "So you are dragging her through this Hell only to 'feel alive'? This is too despicable even for you."

"Lyds wanted it herself. She insisted."

"I don't think you resisted much."

"What for? I have been waiting for that moment since the execution." Beetlejuice snapped his mouth shut, realizing he revealed something he shouldn't have.

"So the girl was not an accidental choice. I see…" Juno remarked with a sly smirk, her mouth-piece hanging from the corner of her month. "Is she a descendent of the Duke family you slaughtered?"

Beetlejuice flinched at the word 'slaughtered'. "How should I know? Just looks like the kid."

"Maybe I should stay for awhile longer."

"No way! Are you planning to nag me for the rest of my afterlife? You do know that you are even worse than my mother!"

"A couple of hundred years won't hurt. I want to see how you will turn out after her guidance. Why don't you try white for a change?"

Beetlejuice's suit turned white with black tie and boots and a black rose in the buttonhole. "Hm, not bad."

"I do know you rather well. The knowledge gives me such a headache sometimes. At least try to treat her well."

Beetlejuice showed her his tongue. Juno rolled her eyes at his eternally childish behavior and departed.

……………..

The ceremony of Souls Binding was no different than an average uniting in marriage. Several years ago Lydia was in the middle of the preparations for her wedding and was mentally prepared to become a wife and have a family of her own, but it was a 180 degree turn with Beetlejuice. When he informed her that the only way for her to remain in the Neitherworld in her current form was to marry him, she didn't object in the slightest. In her eyes it was only the means for her to remain with her friends and… for Beetlejuice not to be alone, for him not to suffer anymore.

But only at the moment she was walking down the aisle, seeing her groom in a white suit, Lydia understood the simple truth – she didn't want to leave Beetlejuice. She not only accepted his love but wanted it. A simple flirtatious wink sent her whole body on fire, a brushing touch awoke a lust frenzy. She could simply sit and watch for hours him teaching Kevin new tricks. Since when had she started to act like a teenager with a hopeless crush? His physical change did not bring the change for her feelings, that's for sure.

If she had been completely honest with herself, she would've admitted that she started dating other guys because she was afraid she would not be enough for Beetlejuice. Not beautiful enough, not sexy enough, not gross enough, not mean enough… Despite her despising all clichés she also had a phase of wanting a Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet, and Beetlejuice was certainly not charming.

Only years later, years without Beetlejuice, she realized that he was exactly what she needed. A house with white picket fence didn't work for her. Her artistic soul had to be free from mundane settled family life. And with Beetlejuice nothing was ever settled or mundane. They clearly made an unusual couple. But was love, as it is in the world of the living, possible in the world of the dead? On the other hand, why was the ceremony of Souls Binding created for?

"We have gathered here to join this ghoul and this woman in the ceremony of binding of two souls," began the skeleton, who was performing the ritual. "Do you Beetle Juice agree to take this woman as your companion for the rest of your afterlife?"

Silence followed the question. Lydia's still moving blood ran cold. What if he doesn't agree? It was she who insisted on remaining in the Neitherworld with no explanation of her reasons. What if Beetlejuice doesn't want her here? Lydia glanced at her groom through her web veil (courtesy to Ginger) to see him rocking on his heels, hands deep in his pockets, as if waiting for his queue in a shop. Lydia shook her head in disbelief – not even serious a bit about such an occasion.

"I do," he finally uttered, not without a wink towards Lydia.

"Do you Lydia Deetz agree to spend your afterlife with this crazy-, hm, I mean, with Beetle Juice?"

Now, Lydia decided, was time for a little revenge. She hold pause for as long as it took Beetlejuice shudder a couple of times, then replied, "I do."

"Do you have the ring?" the skeleton asked Beetlejuice, who put a show of searching in his bottomless pocket and finally taking out a wrapped box. Lydia recognized it as the one she saw in the 'Lydia's closet'. She thought it was one of her presents, so she left it on its previous place. Beetlejuice took of the wrapping paper and took out a ring from the velvet box then returned it to the pocket.

"With this ring… Well, I don't remember the words, so let's just put it on. It will look good on you without any wordy rubbish."

Lydia stifled a giggle. Her lungs were on fire because of no painkillers in her body to fight cancer, but she just couldn't help but laugh at BJ's typical behavior. She stretched out her arm and her ring finger gained a simple silver band in a form of a beetle whose legs connected to each other forming the ring. It was very cute and to her liking.

"If there is anyone who objects to this union, say it now or forever hold your peace."

Silence greeted the small gathering, this time a welcomed one. Just in case Kevin juiced everybody's mouths shut. The ceremony was about to be proceeded when a black carriage stopped in front of the chapel. Lydia's still present breath caught in her throat. Was somebody of power, one of Beetlejuice's enemies, like the Mayor, going to stop the wedding? A pair in black entered the chapel.

"We are extremely sorry for being late. Please, don't mind us, go on," Prince Vince said casually, lifting the pressure in the room. The latter was enormous since even Beetlejuice didn't know how to react to the appearance of the royal couple on his wedding.

"Oh, well," the skeleton continued, "with power bestowed upon me I announce that these two souls should be united. You may kiss the bride."

Lydia tensed involuntarily. She felt like an inexperienced virgin all of a sudden. It was not going to be their first kiss, but first real kiss. Before she could gather her thoughts her veil was moved up.

"Having cold feet, babes?"

"You are not supposed to talk, just to kiss me," Lydia mumbled, feeling slightly lightheaded by his closeness.

"Yeah, seems to be the way these things usually go. Happy endings, you know I hate them."

Despite his words, Beetlejuice grabbed his newlywed wife by the waist and smashed his lips to hers. The kiss was different from everything Lydia imagined. Yes, the infamous stinky breath was present, but she thought of it as a natural smell, not something to be disgusted by. And his tongue… Oh God! It was not only the master of witty jokes, it could do wonders in somebody else's mouth. Lydia didn't even notice how she pressed herself to Beetlejuice so no space was left between them. Suddenly there was a sharp pain somewhere in her heart and then she heard a loud thud, but, to her mind, it was nothing of no importance at the moment. Somehow Beetlejuice pressed her even closer and closer and then a tiny bit more and just for a millisecond Lydia saw a myriad of colors and shapes, lines and patterns, which were moving in some chaotic dance. For just a moment Lydia became a part of that dance and then everything disappeared.

"Welcome to the land of the dead. Your stay here will be as unpleasant as possible," came Beetlejuice's voice from behind her.

'What is he doing behind me? Unless… he went through me... to bind our souls. Then that wonderful place was BJ's soul... I wonder what mine soul looked like to him.'

'Not as ugly as you think,' echoed a male voice in her head.

'Huh? Don't tell me that with our souls bonded, our minds are too!'

'Unfortunately not, I am just messing with ya.' Lydia almost rolled her eyes hearing the familiar cackling in her mind. 'So how does it feel to be dead?'

'I am? But I didn't remember when it happened and how… And I don't feel any different.'

Their telepathic conversation was interrupted by the conductor of the ceremony. "I present to you for the first time Mister and Missis Juice. Guys at the bar won't believe me." The skeleton surely didn't intend to say the last sentence aloud, but it still slipped. The incredibility of the union was just too much. And surely nobody could guess if it was a turn for the better or the worse. Will Beetlejuice terrorize everyone less since he has now someone to distract him?

"You know, I only now realized that Beetlejuice is not really your name," Lydia declared, looking at her pouting husband. "Can I call you simply Beetle now?"

Before Beetlejuice could answer, his parents hurried to congratulate the newlyweds. "We called him Bugsy when he was little," Missis Juice shared with her daughter-in-law.

"Mum!!!" Beetlejuice wailed, embarrassed once again.

"Now listen, Junior, Lydia is a good girl, she will look after you so you keep your room and ears clean."

"And find a job," Mister Juice added.

"I will try to the best of my abilities, Mrs. and Mr. Juice, but I love your son the way he is, so I don't see any point in drastic changes."

"If you continue to keep my folks at bay like this, there'll be some point in keeping you around," Beetlejuice drawled, putting his arm around Lydia's waist.

Lydia raised an eyebrow in silent question, but not about the phrase (it was completely normal for him to say something like that. The rule of 'no nice stuff' was not only engraved in stone on the Roadhouse), but about the gesture. What's with the sudden closeness which could be even called tender? And then the words she said only a minute ago registered in her head: "…I love your son…" Said as if it was the most natural thing in the… Neitherworld. And it was. Lydia loved Beetlejuice. Probably since the moment she met him when she was ten. And it was also natural that she wouldn't hear any confession in return, only an acknowledgement in a gesture. But that was quite enough. For now.

"So can I call you by your given name, Beetle?"

"What's the point in asking, if you are already doing it?" Beetlejuice grunted, but there was no resistance in his tone.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation-"

"Your Highness," Lydia gasped, making a deep reverence. She wanted to scold Beetlejuice again for his disrespectful behavior, but saw him giving a curt nod to the Prince and his wife.

"No need, Lydia. I wanted to ask of you if Lydia would presume having her living name. This ceremony hasn't been performed for centuries, my office is completely lost about the matter."

"Of course, she will have the same name," Beetlejuice answered not without superiority. "Lyds is in the same form and state of mind, so the name remains. What is there to doubt?"

"So the young lady will go into records as Lydia Juice, I presume?"

"Records?" Lydia intervened, deciding to take part in the discussing with her as the subject.

"When you die you think that you will leave behind everything associated with the mundane world, you do actually, but one thing remains wherever you go – bureaucracy," Beetlejuice explained, his opinion of the said bureaucracy was obviously lower than Hell.

"You mean, you keep records of people who arrive here, where they live and stuff?"

"Of course, dear Lydia. You will be entered into the general records as every inhabitant."

"Mine too," Beetlejuice added.

"Yours, BJ? You mean those volumes in the library? I'll be there too?"

"Could be."

"It will be a real honor."

"Just as it is an honor for as to congratulate you on your marriage."

"What are you doing here by the way, you were not invited. How did you even find out?" Beetlejuice snapped. This time Lydia did elbow him. "What now?!"

"Thank you, Your Highnesses. All our friends are welcomed. We just didn't dare to send you an invitation to our small ceremony, we don't even have a reception planned," Lydia made excuses in attempt to maintain a friendly atmosphere. Beetlejuice could be such a jerk at times! It seemed his jerkiness had no bounds especially around Prince Vince. 'Don't tell me that he is still jealous! That's just impossible! Vince's attraction for me died years ago!' Lydia shook her head in dismay. Why Beetlejuice just couldn't say anything on the subject? 'Or maybe I should instead say or do something to reassure him.'

The royal couple left as did Beetlejuice's parents and neighbors, leaving only Juno and Kevin in the chapel. In respect to Beetlejuice he didn't clean up as he did for Prince Vince's wedding, but was still wearing a green tux that looked like it went through a dumpster which it probably did.

"You know, Beej, why did the ring-box look like an old present? And I am sure you didn't stole it from under someone's Christmas tree, because I saw it before in the locked closet."

"So back to Beej?"

'So he actually likes when he is called by his first name. I bet no one calls him like that, come to think of that, not even his own parents. But he is deflecting as usual, there just must be something personal about that box.' "Why don't you tell me, Beetle?"

"I bought it back then, didn't see any point to buy another one and since today is our tenth anniversary… Of course, the ring didn't have any special meaning, just a trinket to remember me by…"

Lydia's knees went weak from the overwhelming shock. "That's why you insisted so hard on coming to the Neitherworld and were so mad when I declined," she whispered, grabbing onto his shoulder to remain standing. "You remembered that it was our anniversary and me… Hah, acting all grown up and not even remembering such important things, stupid girl."

"Hey! What's with the tears?! I know marrying me is not the best fortune in the world, but spare the guy some ego!"

Lydia rubbed her face onto his shoulder to dry up the tears. "I can't believe I ditched you for some guy I didn't even like that much."

"Yeah, that was a really stupid thing to do. I am the Ghost with the Most! Who can be better than me?" Beetlejuice asked with a toothy grin.

"Of that I am certain," Lydia responded with a smile of her own, but then frowned. "What do you mean 'to remember you by'?"

"It was supposed to be our last anniversary. I was supposed to cut you off."

A huge knife fell from above. Lydia sprang from his side and looked down at the knife in between them. "But you didn't, you gave me another five years. Why?"

Beetlejuice only shrugged. His pouting expression gave the answer away however – he simply didn't want to. Why was that? A whole different discussion.

A bright flash blinded them for a second. "Who dares to prank me?!" Beetlejuice roared, trying to settle moving rings in his eyes.

"A picture of the newlyweds for the records. Did you think I would be satisfied only with a name of the unfortunate one?" Juno asked with her cigarette-holder shaking from contained snickering.

"But we didn't even pose!" Lydia protested. "Take another one."

Juno's eyebrows rose in surprise for Lydia even wanting to have one, but readied the ancient looking camera once again. "Ready now?"

Lydia took care of her tears stained cheeks and took her rightful place beside Beetlejuice.

"Smile, please," Juno creaked and pushed the button. At the very last moment Lydia grabbed Beetlejuice head and pulled him in for a kiss. "Huh?"

"So when is the next volume coming up?" Kevin inquired, coming up from behind Juno smirking to show all his uneven teeth. "I really want to see that picture. Or you could send it over? And you know what the worst thing is? Since they are both dead, they don't need to come up for air. So nobody knows when they will stop. And I am living in the same house as them."

"But obviously they have their own room," Juno drawled, still a bit shocked by the display in front of her. Who would've thought? A happy Juice Wielder… What consequences could that bring?

"Two rooms at two ends of the hall. Hey, will they have kids?"

Juno wanted to ask if he was nuts, but decided to deal with the matter professionally. "Since in the Neitherworld children are given in a form of punishment, it is not for me to decide. But I am sure, you yourself is quite a handful."

"That I am," Kevin declared proudly. "Hey, people! Are you going to stand there the whole day or go for your honeymoon already?"

The question made Lydia came down to… the world of the dead. "What honeymoon? There were no plans for honeymoon."

"I have no idea what he is talking about," Beetlejuice agreed, but the sparks in his eyes spoke of the opposite.

"So where are we going?"

"To any part of the world you wish to. This one or the other. The Outerworld has limitations though – one place is forbidden. Right, Juno?"

"Yes, yes, the paperwork is written and signed. A free passage but only for a month," Juno grumbled in reply.

"You skunk! Couldn't you tell beforehand, I have absolutely no ideas-" The rest of the words died in Lydia throat when she saw Beetlejuice turning into a striped skunk (it had more than one stripe obviously). "Deadly Woo, I still have that power. But how? Didn't it leave me with BJ's juice?"

"A little wedding present, honey," June explained not without a smirk. "Somebody must keep him in control. And who better than his own wife whom he chose himself. Don't you think so, mister?" Juno taunted the skunk, who in retaliation sent a cloud of his patented stench towards her face. Juno only huffed, blew smoke at skunk/Beetlejuice and left the chapel.

"Okay, be a bad boy, Beetle, and turn back," Lydia said, stroking the black-white fur, having not even an ounce of belief that those words will help. To her total astonishment Beetlejuice returned to his own crazy self the moment Juno closed the door. "It was not me, right? It was only a stunt to make Juno believe that there is even a tiny bit of control over you," Lydia concluded, shaking her head. Control over Beetlejuice? Not in a million years.

"Who knows? The power of the Juice is boundless," Beetlejuice remarked philosophically. "So where will it be?" he asked, handing Kevin something wrapped in a dirty napkin. Dirty it was but the red stains surely looked fresh. He whispered something to the young juice wielder and Kevin run out of the chapel.

"Will you ever forgive me, BJ?" Lydia asked her tone serious.

"Huh? What for?"

"For… breaking your heart."

"This place is for atonement of your sins. You have plenty of time to receive forgiveness."

"But what about you? Will I ever receive your forgiveness?"

Beetlejuice took her right hand and put it onto the left side of his chest. Lydia felt the steady heart beat under the jacket, she also noticed on the said jacket a small whole with red stains around it.

"I missed that when you were not around. You know, like something is missing, but you cannot understand what and your head starts to ache because you can't remember what is that important thing that is not there," Beetlejuice answered to her plead. "And forgiveness is worth nothing around here. That ring however, babes, is another story. I paid quite a hefty sum for it, added some cool features to it too. So…"

Lydia smiled. That small speech was the closest to love declaration that she will hear from her dear friend. No, not a friend, husband. And the ring – sign of forgiveness. Nothing outright nice with Beetlejuice. But Lydia didn't need to hear the exact words, she understood him without them quite fine. She touched her chest and heard her heart beating too. How could that happen? Not to mention, her dress was smeared with still warm blood. A bolt of realization hit her, but Lydia shrugged it off. Why should the way how she died be of any importance?

"I think I have one great place in mind," she announced, taking him by his arm and heading to the exit.

"Finally, babes! And no more this serious stuff, I am having a splitting headache already!"

Lydia pushed his head halves together and sealed it with a kiss. To make it better, you know. "Why didn't you tell me about the honeymoon plans? And is there a place for a coffin for two there?"

"Huh?"

Lydia wanted to explain, but felt something moving inside her mouth. She wanted to spit it out, but bit into it instead. "Now I understand you, Beetle. They are really crunchy, not to mention this heavenly taste... Do you keep the best of the best between your teeth or all bugs are that good?"

"My secret stash? How dared you to invade my secret stash?!"

"Easy," Lydia flirted, leaking her lips with a striped tongue to savor the taste.

"You do that one more time, and there will definitely be a coffin for two," Beetlejuice warned, but threats were obviously the last thing on his mind.

"Bring it on."

…………….

To an enormous happiness of Juno Beetlejuice didn't have a talent of fortune-telling, but he was right about Kevin. The boy was truly talented and officially became the Juice Wielder of the Neitherworld at the tender age of two hundred and thirty. But before that he managed to accomplish something that turned around the afterlives of the inhabitants of the Road House.

Kevin gained permission to build an amusement park with a special haunted house attraction. The house's main character was Beetlejuice who scared the pants and all other articles of clothing from the customers and even got paid for it (that was of course the main point for the Ghost with the Most to agree to such barbaric 'job', but he called it 'leisure activities' so his reputation could remain intact).

Lydia had a boutique with clothes of her own design and also made photographs of those who wished to engrave their presence in the new amusement park. Even Jacques and Ginger helped, running their own attractions.

When time came Beetlejuice and Kevin went to the Center of the World for Kevin to obtain the Juice to the fullest. Just before that Beetlejuice placed a piece of his juice into Lydia and then took it back to regrow it in his body. Like Hell he would give his Juice up. The old dog still knew some tricks. And Juno could not say a thing since he was not in her jurisdiction already, or anybody else's for that matter.

Juno's replacement however proved to be quite a surprise. The young woman was blond, but far from airheaded. She was perfect for the job of the records' keeping. She was also perfect to ruin one of the oldest traditions that surrounded the Juice Wielders' existence in the Neitherworld. Kevin, now Partymaker, was never much into breaking rules, but even Beetlejuice admitted that his successor surpassed him in that department when he proposed to Gwen, his records' keeper. Obviously Beetlejuice was not at all happy when Kevin received a positive answer, but that is another story…