The Cult Reference Conundrum, a big bang theory fanfic

Title: The Cult Reference Conundrum

Fandom: The Big Bang Theory

Characters: Sheldon, Leonard

Author: gyuumajo

Rating: G

Summary: It's Sheldon's turn to do something for Leonard.

Disclaimer: I am neither physically nor mentally brilliant enough to create such exceptional characters.

Warning: Bad allusions to Doctor Who, Firefly and BtVS. Oh and, its un-beta'd. Any volunteers?

*Knock*knock*knock* "Leonard."

Sheldon paused at the apparently lack of response from his roommate. They will be late for work if Leonard is not up within 4 minutes and 53 seconds and they had not left the apartment in another 12 minutes and 36 seconds. It was not like Leonard to not have been awake and ready to leave by then. Deciding to forgo the next round of knocking, he cracked open the door to Leonard's room as quietly as humanly possible.

"Oh good God" The usual mess of curly brown hair was not peeking out from beneath the blue comforter and that could only mean one thing. Sheldon crept towards the bed and pulled the comforter aside to reveal a ball of Leonard, waves of heat radiating from him was apparent even as Sheldon retreated almost instantaneously.

"Mother, is that you?" Leonard asked weakly as he squinted at the back view of his sleep-disturber rapidly exiting his room.

"No, Leonard. I'm Sheldon," the theoretical physicist called from the hallway while he watched as his roommate groaned and groped for his comforter that was just slightly out of his reach from his current position.

"Sheldon who?" Sheldon twitched.

Clearly, Leonard's fever had left him delirious. And they will definitely late for work even if by some miracle Leonard was able to get up, get dressed and drive. Sheldon was pondering his next course of action when he noticed Leonard had abandoned his fruitless struggle to locate and hide beneath his comforter. A shiver raked through his roommate's body and Sheldon was torn between rushing in unprotected to replace the comforter that he probably should not have pulled off Leonard in the first place or to don a Hazmat suit he kept in the store room before re-entering that germ-infested room. But it would take too long for him to get the Hazmat suit out of the store room and he would require another persons help getting into his Hazmat suit so he decided to compromise and went for the gas mask and latex gloves he kept in his room.

-----

When he was sure the mask would protect him from potential airborne diseases being expelled from his roommate, he marched bravely into Leonard's room and made short work of the comforter. He was about to beat a tactical retreat when what could only be described as illogical pang--he hesitated to call it guilt--stopped him.

Leonard always took care of him when he was sick, even if he never seemed willing to at first, and the few times Leonard was feeling unwell, he would just gather all the proper medication and plenty of water to his room and ride it out on his own. Not this time though. No empty bottles littering the floor, no half-consumed tablet packaging on his bedside cabinet. This must have hit Leonard unexpectedly. Sheldon suppose he should repay what Leonard had done for him, at least enough to ensure he would still have a roommate at the end of the day. He did not want to go through the screening process for another roommate unless absolutely necessary.

The first thing Sheldon did was get medication, water and his medical kit to set up camp in Leonard's room. He also started up a chart and took his roommates temperature every hour. He had also gotten a basin of water with a wet cloth. Just as he was leaning in to stick the cool gel on Leonard's forehead, Leonard decided it was a good time to wake.

"GAH!! GO AWAY! I'M NOT YOUR MOMMY!!!" The flailing of arms and fevered mind combined to produce an uncoordinated yet effective attack strategy. Leonard knocked Sheldon's gas mask off his face and Sheldon's butt to the floor.

"Leonard! I'm not The Empty Child!!" Sheldon yelled from behind the sleeve that was covering his nose and mouth. "Great... Where's my surgical mask now?"

Sheldon rooted around his medical kit and brandished his newfound surgical mask triumphantly at his now-sleeping-again patient.

-----

Another hour passed and it was time to update Leonard's chart. Sheldon held onto Leonard's shoulders for leverage as he tried to stick the ear thermometer into his roommates ear but was met with a shrug that almost made him stick the ear thermometer into his roommate's nose. He glared at the sleeping man and tried again. Hand held onto Leonard's shoulder tighter than the previous time and tried to stick the ear thermometer into his ear again. Another shrug and an irritated grunt threw him off-balance again. Frustrated, Sheldon held on with all his might, even throwing some of his body weight onto the sleeping man in an attempt to still him as he tried for one last time to get his temperature before the minute was up. That last attempt was met with a bleary Leonard rousing to a heavy weight on his arm and gloved hands fiddling at the side of his head.

"GAH!! HANDS OF BLUE!! YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET ME!!!!" Another round of flailing on Leonard's part sent Sheldon sprawled on the floor again.

"What!?!? There's no one else here except for me. And besides, they were killed by Serenity's thrusters!!"

"B-but there are two of you!" Leonard squinted at Sheldon as he dusted himself off.

"Hush, Leonard. You are obviously too far gone to be doing any mathematical summation," Sheldon pushed his roommate to lie back onto the bed and in the brief moment of confusion, stuck the ear thermometer to get the reading he wanted 3 minutes ago.

"I hope the delay in temperature taking would not affect the empirical evidence,"

"What?"

"Nothing Leonard. Go back to sleep,"

"Yes mother," Sheldon twitched again.

"I am not your mother!" he chided the sleeping man in a harsh whisper.

-----

Sheldon marveled at the lack of fuss it took to take care of Leonard. All he did was sleep the whole time, barring the few times he woke up to flail and reintroduced Sheldon's posterior to the hardwood floor. He noticed that Leonard would only wake if Sheldon were to be attending to him, like when Sheldon was dabbing the sweat from his face or tugging his comforter closer. He wondered if Leonard's reaction to being cared for was due to Dr. Beverly's upbringing methods. He imagined a young Leonard being left to his own devices while his mother quietly observed from a distance away. Or when she introduced invasive methods of care-giving and data collection while he was asleep. He really should give her a call to compare results. Not one to waste any time when it comes to deriving a conclusion, he packed his medical kit and proceeded to exit the room. As he was pulling his surgical mask off his face, he heard the rustling of sheets, indicating the stirring of Leonard. He was just about to turn and ask if his patient needed anything to eat when pillows started flying towards him.

"GAH!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM! YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY HEART YOU EVIL VOICE STEALER!!!"

"Oh please, Leonard. What am I to do with your heart anyway? Eat it? Send it to Joyce Kim as a souvenir? And I would make a lousy Gentleman if you're still capable of screaming before I cut out your heart. My head would have popped and you'll have to clean all the slime from the hallway," he set down his medical kit. Leonard frowned and grabbed his glasses off his nightstand.

"...Sheldon, what are you doing in my room with a gas mask, blue gloves and that doctor's bag?"

"You were sick. I took care of you while you were sick. Just like how you took care of me when I was sick,"

"...Uh, thanks?" After a short pause, Leonard immediately pulled his t-shirt up to inspect his belly.

"What are you doing?"

"You did not remove my spleen did you?"

"..."

-----

End.