Well, kind of an halloween fic, though it has nothing to do with it. Also very short and very... plotless. I just hope it is relatively funny, since I absolutely suck at humour. Actually I originally wrote it to try out this dialogue thing, so there's nothing else in there really. Anyway, hope you like it and please leave a review if you survive to the end.
Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I think this is a good enough proof of that.
Warnings: No. Well... my humour? Maths?
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Incredible
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"…divide 12.8 by… Wait. No, that can't be. It's too much."
…
"No, not that one either. Well… what if I…"
…
"That's odd. Then… maybe…"
…
"Damn. What am I missing?"
…
"Christ! Why isn't it working!"
…
"…by 8.5… is 1.505. Not again! What the hell is it?"
…
"Uh. Maybe… I'm doing it wrong way round."
…
"God."
…
"Damn it! Damn it, damn it, damn it! There isn't mistake in it!"
…
"Oh dear Lord… This is impossible."
…
"Wha-?! Kanda?"
"…"
"Kanda what are you doing?"
"…"
"Kanda. What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"…che."
"Stop. I got to do my homework."
"…"
"Honestly Kanda! This is important! You can't just-! Wah?!"
"Can't what?"
"H-hey, stop it! Kan–da! L–let go of me!"
"Can't what?"
"…what the hell, Kanda? Just what kind of an obsession is that?"
"Can't what?"
"Can't just start goddamn molesting me when I'm trying to do my homework! And let go of me!"
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, really!"
"Don't say you didn't ask for it."
"Wha-?! Ow… That hurt, you jerk!"
"I told you not so say you didn't ask for it."
"You still didn't have to drop me to the floor, Bakanda!"
"And just where else would've I dumped you then?"
"…there's a bed just a meter away from me."
"…"
"And what's with that expression?! Stop looking like the cat that got the cream!"
"So, you would've liked to end up in the bed, Moyashi?"
"…"
"Hmm? What? No? Then why all the fuss about it?"
"…"
"Oh? Was I wrong?"
"…that's not fair."
"So you do want to get in the bed?"
"I didn't say so."
"Really? It sounded like that to me."
"I said you're not being fair."
"Who said I was supposed to be fair?"
"…"
"Exactly. Now then, mind deciding what you want, Moyashi?"
"My name's Allen!"
"…"
"…fine. Help me up from here."
"And just why should I?"
"…you…"
"Hn?"
"You jerk! You want me up, then pick me up! You were the one who dropped me in the first place, so it's your fault I'm on the floor now!"
"It was you, Moyashi, who told me to let go. I just did what I was told to do."
"Well, that would be the first time."
"Che. You're such a woman."
"I'm not a woman, Bakanda!"
"Only a woman wouldn't be able to get up on her own after a little fall like that. Wait, scratch that. Only a bean sprout wouldn't be able to get up without help."
"I'm not a bean sprout!"
"Oh, then prove it."
"You're incredible! I have no idea how the hell I ended up living with a jerk like you! The only thing you ever do is insult me whenever you had a bad day – which you have every day! You damn insufferable bastard! And now, if you excuse me, I have things to do!"
"And just what are you complaining about? You're back on your feet in case you haven't noticed."
"What…?"
"Hm? I got you up, now didn't I?"
"You… you egoistic, tactless… jackass! I just can't take-! Whah! H-hey!"
"Now, shut up."
"You… You! How dare you?! St–mph!"
"…"
"Mmmngh! Mmph! Mm-ngh…"
"…"
"Mmmh. Mngh. Nngh."
"…"
"Haaah… hah… hah…"
"That sounds hell of a lot better than your whining."
"You… Are you trying… to suffocate me?!"
"Don't pretend you didn't like it."
"Kanda… stop. Stop now. I have things to… Ha-haah-ah."
"I told you to shut up."
"Nnh… Not now Kanda… I got to… got to… haah."
"Stop fighting. You'll enjoy more."
"Ah… B-but I have to… Ngh… I have to finish that… Aah."
"You can do it later. I want to fuck you now."
"K-Kanda… It's… it's going to be… l-late… Oh God…"
"Stop thinking about it. Give in. Right. Now."
"A-a-aangh… ha-haah… oh Lord… p-please…"
"Now, that's better, Allen."
"You're… ngh… you're…"
"Incredible, I know. You said that already."
"Oh, shut up…"
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If you're still reading this, please leave a comment. I'd be happy if you did.