Appreciation

Lloyd stood there aghast. He had not known that Kratos had written to him before he left with Derris-Kharlan. Lloyd had not even known that Kratos would write to him at all.

But here he was, in Yuan's office, holding the letter he was given by Yuan. The letter with Kratos' words on them. He never thought that he would ever receive something like this from his father, of all people. "Well? Aren't you going to open it?"

Lloyd shook his head, knocking him out of his daze. "I know it must be quite a shock and all, but could you please hurry up?" Yuan said, tapping his foot. He unfolded his arms to brush a piece of his hair from his face. "I've held onto that letter for quite some time, and would like to know what it's about so I can get on with my work." Lloyd lowered his eyebrow, angered. "What? I've been busy, and that bloody letter's been on my mind for some time now."

Lloyd folded his hands under his arms, the envelope safely secured. He raised his eyebrow. "Then why didn't you just tell me sooner?"

"I figured I could get my work done first, and then get you over here, but then the curiosity toward the content of the letter grew." Yuan said with a sigh, lowering his head in embarrassment. "So I figured that the sooner you get through with this, the faster I'll get back to work."

Lloyd stifled a chuckle. "You're just being nosy." he said, turning away as he carefully ripped the envelope.

Yuan grunted. "Hey, it's been in my hands for a while. I should have some credit for even waiting for you to open it." he said, trying to peak over Lloyd's shoulder. "I should get to see what it's about."

Lloyd sighed as he carefully lifted the flap. "Well, if I'm in a good mood, I might let you peek." he said, taking out the parchment and unfolding it. He tightened his lips, not wanting to let Yuan hear a word from Kratos' hand. He walked over to a chair sitting in the corner, keeping the back of the paper within Yuan's range.

Lloyd began to read. Seemed normal enough, he discovered. His eyes fell heavy with disappointment. He was no closer as to why Kratos had left, and that discouraged him. He wanted to know. But for now, he had to continue reading. He could not think and read and he wanted to know more; perhaps it would be answered later on in the letter, he figured. He had continued on, forcing himself to stay focused on reading, and not think about the unanswered questions torturing his mind.

Suddenly, thinking was a small priority. His mouth slowly opened, his brain freezing in place at the sentences he read. He had to place the letter down on his lap and rub his eyes. He picked up the letter again, his eyes finding the words in an instant. The letters he saw left an everlasting burn, permanently etched into memory. Lloyd could not tell what he was feeling, but whatever it was, it stirred the liquid in his eyes to move. He did not feel sad in the least, and that was what confused him. He could not stop them as they fell down his cheek. He wanted to stop, being in Yuan's presence, but the tears were unrelenting and infinite. Lloyd did the only thing he could do.

He dashed out of the room. The letter floated gently onto the ground. The words echoed in his head as he ran. Whatever this feeling was, it was overwhelming. He did not know that he had led himself outside. The tears still ran down his face, yet he found himself smiling. It was odd to him, to be smiling while crying.

"So here is where you ran to." Lloyd turned around, finding Yuan behind him, holding the letter in his hands. "I never thought I'd see you cry."

Lloyd turned his back toward him again, shaking his fist. "Sh-Shut up…"

"Unfortunately for you, I read it." Yuan said, watching as Lloyd turned around slowly. "Who would have thought that Kratos would say something like that, eh? Well, either way, it's your letter, so take it." he said, handing it to Lloyd. "Now then, if you want to talk about it later, come to my office. But for now, I've got a lot to do. Take care, Lloyd."

Lloyd sighed, looking up at the sky. "Later." he said, keeping his back toward Yuan. He unfurled his wings, feeling the urge to fly up into the sky after such a message. It was as if he felt light as a feather, despite the tears that still fell down his face. It was an odd feeling, he thought. "Well, guess I'd better head back home…" he said, looking toward Iselia.

Lloyd sighed as he landed, rubbing his eyes dry. He walked into the house, noticing that Dirk was out. Oh yeah, that's right. Dad said he would be out for a few weeks on a job in Asgard. Deciding that he did not feel like eating, he hurried up the stairs, turning toward the door to his room. Walking up to his craft-filled mess of a desk, he shoved the tiny sculptures into his hand, placing them onto the round table nearby. He took out the letter, placing it on the cleared desk. He smiled. He had to read it again.

Dear Lloyd,

I am very well aware that you would oppose me of doing so, but I must leave to take care of things so that they do not fall into the wrong hands. But this will not be our goodbye. When things are taken care of, I will return. I do not know when, and I do not know how, but we will see each other again. And if that cannot happen, and we happen to walk among those beyond the living, that would still mean we see each other again. Though if we do not end in the same place, take care of your mother for me, Lloyd.

But no matter what happens, do remember this. Our time spent together has been my most treasured moments. I have kept them close to me, and I have appreciated everything you had done. I'm proud of you. I know that I cannot tell you that enough, but I thought that it needed to be said regardless. Live your life knowing that I'm always with you, though we are miles apart. Just look up into the star-filled night, and you will always see me.

Until we can see face-to-face…

Love,

Kratos

P.S. And tell Yuan that if he reads this before you, that I give you permission to beat him senseless. He always had a sense of noisiness about him, so be on your guard.

Lloyd chuckled lightly at the last note as he rubbed his eye again. He must have missed that when he ran off. "I should make something to keep this safe in…" he said to himself, standing up. He went to his scrap wood, picking up several pieces, and carried it back to his desk. He took out his knife from his desk drawer and started cutting the wood down. He whittled all through the night.

All the while, he was smiling contently.

And guess who rises from the abyss? Indeed, I am alive, albeit barely. I've been quite busy and just have not had the time, with classes, groups, friends and the such. But all in all, it's been all worth-while. Honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. And I find it oddly disturbing that I'm coming back on FFN on Mischief Night/Halloween Day, seeing that I don't particularly care for either holiday... But I digress...

The inspiration for this was indeed real, though it was in the form of a phone call for me. In fact, quite a few one-shot ideas are forming about real life inspirations. Hmm...

At any rate, I'll be on and off still, and I actually have a bit of work I probably should be doing (lol), but I thought to work on this instead since I didn't feel like working. Whether or not you all will see another update by the end of the weekend is truly up in the air. Though I will try my best. And I apologize if there are mistakes in the fic, I'm a little rusty... Oh, and until the trash gets separated from the proper stuff, this is for ToS, not the fan-serviced spin-off. (Just throwing that out there so you don't get confused about when the story takes place.) Anyway, the basics... I don't own ToS and review as you will. Hope you enjoyed it.