I don't own Naruto…

'thoughts'

'flashbacks'

"dialog"
-

I don't own Naruto manga or anime. Just these stories. Enjoy a funny, interesting, slightly disturbing story.

Chapter 4: Homecoming

A moment of shock went over the occupants of the room as Naruto walking in, hands in his pockets.

"Finally, I was just about to call the ANBU to drag you here." Spoke Tsunade with a annoyed sigh.

"Rhahahight!" laughed Naruto as he entered and relaxed on a couch in the office with both legs spread over the sides. "New recruits could use some survival training." He then gave a look at the occupants of the room. "Did I interrupt something?" he asked.

"Don't just slack off like an idiot, baka! Where are the manners and respect I punched into your head?"Tsuande shouted from her table.

"What? Mission's over, I can finally chill now." He returned stretching his arms.

"Ugh, idiot." Tsunade sighed palming her face, Naruto was really lacking dignity and the appropriate manners for someone in his position. "This girl has come to the village to get hired as our ninja, I was just about to go over her case, maybe you'd like to get a look into… Eh? What are you doing?" shouted back Tsunade.

Naruto had turned around in the couch so that he wouldn't face the room. "Seeing how this has nothing to do with me and I just came back, I'm going to take a nap for a while, so… wake me up after you're done." Spoke Naruto moving his hands around.

"This is NOT a sleeping room. Oi!"

No response, Naruto was out like a light.

Tsunade sighed, frustrated and embarrassed while the other chuunin smirked, this was nothing new to them. Naruto seemed to always do the most outrageous stunts when not on missions, sleeping in the Hokage office was like a walk in the park.

"What should we do, Hokage-sama?" asked a chuunin.

"(sigh) Whatever, just leave him there. I'll deal with him later. Now, back to you. What did you say you were? A missing ninja?" she asked.

Motoko turned to the Hokage. "No, I'm a ninja who was trained by my family. And I want to join Konoha's ninja ranks."

"I see. Have you ever worked in the service of other ninja villages?" she asked.

"No." she returned.

"Have you ever been on ninja missions?"

"Only on some very insignificant ones."

"Do you have any papers or proper documentation?"

Motoko quirked an eyebrow at this. "No, I don't, should I?"

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow. "Yes, you should. This is the new system. We don't just sign anyone that comes into our doors as ninja anymore. We need documentation and identification papers to enroll our ninja, it's part of the ninja peace treaty with the other 5 great nations. I thought this was old news already."

"I didn't know that…" returned Motoko with her head cast down slightly.

"That's too bad. Go back home, bring your family's consent, any identification papers your family might have as well as your own. Then we'll see." Returned Tsunade.

"I… I can't do that…" returned Makoto saddened . "All my family is… dead."

The others in the room cringed at this piece of information.

"That's… unfortunate… Do you have a home or anyone who can house you?" asked the Hokage.

Motoko shook her head. "No, this is why I want to be a ninja, I want to earn my own living."

Tsunade sighed. "I understand your situation… but you must also understand mine, I can't just accept you into our ranks because you have it rougher then others."

"Why? Can't you just make some new documentation for me, and solve with this?" asked Makoto in frustration.

"No, I can't. This is not a matter of personal reasons, as the Hokage, I have to stick to the protocol established. Otherwise…" she then turned to give Naruto a glance. "Everything we've sacrificed would be in vain…" she finished silently.

Motoko followed Tsunade's glance to Naruto and sighed lowering her head slightly. "I see… "

Tsunade turned her gaze on Motoko. "That's how it is… "

"What then? So what do I have to do?" asked the former Uchiha fixing on Tsunade with a serious look.

"Well, you can either leave now… "

"No!..." she answered in haste. "I don't have anywhere to go… anything else?"

"You could wait here for a few weeks until we can do a check-up, background search here in Konoha and the other five nations. It's going to take a while…" answered the Hokage very professionally.

"What do I do until then? Where will I live?" asked Motoko.

"You can't leave the village under any circumstances, you are recommended to stay indoors, you must report to Konoha Police department every day with a reliable witness, and if you choose to walk around Konoha and do any mundane tasks like shopping or eating, you must do so with an escort."

Motoko quirked an eyebrow curiously. 'Konoha Police department? I thought that was closed off years ago… ' "What about a place to live and what will I do for money?"

"I'm afraid that's up to you. I can give you a decent one room apartment for a few days and a futon, also an escort will be watching from afar. As for money, you're going to find some civilian work, maybe in supermarket or cleaning…"

"When you say 'escort' you actually mean 'jailor, don't you? as in, I'll have to live with that person until my papers come in. "returned Motoko rationally.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes a little. "More or less. That's how it is. If there was any other way…"

"Mhy dohnt ih thkh herh?" said a muffled voice in the background.

The people in the room looked around curiously. "What was that?" wondered a chuunin.

The couch suddenly shifted. Until a sleepy Naruto rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Whhaaa, I said, why don't I take her with me?" clarified the blond.

The others all gave surprised questioning looks. Motoko being one of the most.

"I won't allow that, Naruto, and you know it!" said Tsunade irritated.

Naruto sighed getting off the couch. "Why?"

"You know very well why. You have more priority here than even me. I can't allow you to take every stray you find with a sob story and take it into your house!" returned Tsunade undeterred.

'Stray?' wondered Motoko with a very small glare to the Hokage.

"Ahahaha, you worry too much, Tsuande-chan." Grinned Naruto getting a glare from Tsunade.

"Don't call me that, you dofus. I'm still the boss of you!"

"Would you prefer I call you 'baa-chan', again?" laughed Naruto softly.

"Huh, you are such a pain in the ass." Chuckled Tsunade with an annoyed look.

"I love you too, Tsunade-chan." Returned Naruto with a big grin.

The chuunin had some really surprised looks, they were expecting Tsunade to get off her chair and clobber Naruto in the next week for his lack of respect. Naruto's lack of common sense really was to be feared, the fact that the guy liked to play things this close to the chest, was an understatement.

"Why do you even want her? I can assign some genin to handle any task you need." Asked the Hokage.

"Genin? You mean those gakis that keep annoying me to train them or teach them some new jutsu. No thank you, I have enough of that from Konohamaru and Hanabi." Returned the blond.

"If I recall correctly, I remember a young, rude, disrespectful, stupidly beyond annoying orange genin that used to follow his elders around to learn some 'super cool new jutsu'." Returned Tsunade with a smirk of her own and an amused quirked eyebrow staring at Naruto.

"Hehe." Laughed Naruto embarrassedly. "Touché. But to answer your question, it fits everyone's needs, I need a new housekeeper to do some cleaning and stuff, you need a ninja with free time, that I happen to have right now, and I'm bored."

"But still…"

"Also…" Naruto walked softly in front of Motoko staring in her eyes, almost studding her.

"W-what is it?" asked Motoko narrowing her eyes slightly.

"Hmm…" Naruto looked with a serious expression. He then appeared in a flash in front of her wrapping his arms around her bear hug (that to her slender form, Naruto really was like a bear). "Isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen? She's so small and soft, and smells really nice. You just want to take her home and… "He answered moving his hands up her back and butt and rubbing his cheek on her hair like some kind of crazy stray cat.

The others in the room looked at this with a mix of shocked and awkward as Naruto was literally clinging to this girl like glue, in a very… unprofessional way.

"Uhaaaa!" Motoko's mind finally clicked back together as she used her hands to try to detach the annoying crazy pervert off of her. "Let me go, you baka! Get away, I say! Get off!" she finally had enough of kicked him in the groin with her knee.

"Ughhhaa!" let out the blond falling to the floor like a sack of potates. The other men in the room cringed and unconsciously covered themselves.

Tsunade chuckled followed by a loud laugh. "Ahahaha! That's what you get for being a pervert." She recovered and turned to the 'victim' or was it the assailant? "So, Motoko-san, what do you think? Do you want to go with this idiot?"

"No way! Who would want to go with this creepy pervert?" she returned.

"Well, that's true. He does have his quirks, but he's a good person. So it's either him or other ninja. Pick your poison." Said Tsunade.

Motoko/Sasuke gave an annoyed look, unknowingly producing a small, barely significant embarrassed blush at Naruto still laying painfully on the ground. 'Still the same pervert!' she thought. She sighed and turned to the Hokage. "I'll take him. Better than nothing, I suppose." She didn't know why she choose Naruto, maybe out of sympathy, or because she knew him or curiosity, or worry, even a whim, or maybe all of the above, it just felt good to see that not everything had changed. And Naruto being the hero of Konoha allowed her some benefits to know him, as well.

She then lowered herself to his level to grab his ear and pull him to face her. "But if you touch me like that again, I'm going to beat you senseless! Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it…" returned the blond.

"Okay, then it's settled. Naruto will show you the house, you'll be living there for the time being. I expect you tomorrow to be at Konoha Police department with him. Now, I need to have a debriefing with him alone. SO can you wait outside?" asked Tsunade stepping out of her desk to escort Motoko out.

"Okay,… um… thank you." Returned Sasuke/Motoko not sure how to respond. Courtesy was never one of her strong points.

"See you tomorrow." As the Hokage closed the door she went through a set of handseals and several seals in the office became visible. "Privacy seal, successful."

"T-Tsunade-chan, help. I think I'm broken as a man… ugh, I'll be an outcast to all men in the world… I'll never feel the special love of a woman again… ugh, you'll never have little Naruto's running around, sitting on your lap or gluing your paperwork in one big chunk… Oh wow is me!..." said the blond with a dramatic pause.

Tsunade crossed her arms, rolled her eyes and actually chuckled at the last one. "Cut the bullshit, Naruto. I swear, any more and I might write a recommendation to star with Koyuki Kazahana in her next movie." She said taking a seat on the couch.

"Hehe, nothing get's past you, Tsunade-chan." Naruto laughed a little before jumping back to his feet. "I can't believe she's staring in the 4th movie, and it's actually based on my book. Heh, how life surprises you." He smiled and took a seat next to her.

"Yes, and she's really been asking to see you. But enough about that, how did your mission go?" asked Tsunade facing him.

"Weeell…" he smirked as he rested his head on her lap getting a dirty look from her. "Nothing much, success, we managed to settle a trading route that passes through Lightning, Fire and Rock, the old traders are really greedy cheapskates. Bastards wanted to choose the shortest route, a straight line. How is economy going to benefit everyone if you choose to do the simplest, cheapest stuff?"

"Now you know why some wars start. So everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's good… Do you have something for a headache, though?" he asked looking at her.

Tsunade lifted his forehead protector and placed a slightly green glowing cold hand on his hot forehead. "How's that?"

"Ahh, that's just perfect." He sighed as he opened one eye to look at her. "Alright, ask away. I know you want to, I can see it on your face."

"Why did you ask to stay with that girl?" she asked curious.

"To tell you the truth… I'm not sure… she kind of reminds me of me when I was a kid and I had to move in an apartment alone with someone watching me day and night. And noone helping me out… well except for old man Sandaime." He answered.

"What about Rin? How do you think she'll react?" asked the Hokage.

"Rin's been around enough people to take care of her to not have a problem with it. Besides, I'm not going to lose her out of my sight." Answered the blond.

"If you say so… so what do you know?" she asked getting more serious.

"Well, she's not carrying any hidden weapons, as far as I can tell. Her chakra is pretty normal, chuunin level at the most. And she was telling the truth that she's not from the other villages but lied about being a missing ninja. I don't sense any real killing intent when I got her mad, so if she has a target it's got nothing to do with me… "

"Don't underestimate women, Naruto. I almost killed Jiraiya when he saw me naked. She might be a very good liar trying to get close to you."

"Maybe, she can try but if she does, I'll end her life before she can hurt anyone…"

15 minutes later

Sasuke/Motoko's been waiting outside for a while wondering what the hell just happened.

For one, Naruto had become a complete pervert. And now they were going to share a home together, how the hell did that happen? 'I swear, if he tries any perverted stuff on me, I'm going to clobber him into rocks.' She spoke as she opened her eyes and saw Naruto right in front of her. "Wha-?"

"(stare) Hey, were you by chance having naughty thoughts about me?" he asked with a grin.

Motoko actually blushed at that before turning into a 'you're-dead' look. "DROP DEAD! BAKA! Hentai! PERVERT! DIE!"

"WUAAHHAAAA!"

Tsunade opened her window to look down at the chaos below specifically Naruto getting pounded and chanced by a angry young woman. "This is going to be fun to watch… Hm, wonder where the old man left his crystal ball?"

This was something I wanted to update for a while, I'm also working on my other stories so don't worry about it.