Okay, I was bored in school today, so I came up with all this crazy things. So just be a nice person to the poor girl who just suffered 8 hours of tests (and this isn't just a thing to get you to read it. I literally had a test or quiz every period. Do these teachers plan to kill me?)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I only wish I did. Because then Sirius wouldn't have died.

Things James Potter Will Not Do This Year

Propose to McGonagall

Send a howler to Voldemort

Dye his hair green and silver

Dress up as Michael Jackson and sing "Thriller"

Serenade Snape

Wear pink

Snog Lily in the broom closet

Snog anybody in the broom closet for that matter

Kidnap Mrs. Noris and demand ransom

Steal Remus's chocolate

Sing "I'm to Sexy for my Shirt" in front of Lily without a shirt on

Eat choclate in the library

Pet McGonagall while she is in her cat form

Add points to Gryffindor for Quiddich feats

Dump Sirius's Broomstick in the Black Lake so he can collect the insurance money.

Wear a tutu

Dye the Slytherins bed hangings red and gold

Get Remus drunk

Streak

Release wild apes in Slughorns class

Put love potion in the Ravenclaw's table and have them declare their undying love to Peter.

Tell the house elves that Dumbledore is coming to give them clothes

Tell the house elves to go on strike against the Slytherins

Hex the giant squid

Kidnap Lily

Set off fireworks in defense

Put a spell on Flitwick so that he has a voice like Gregory Peck

Tell the first years that you are a god, and to please you they need to bring you chocolate offers everyday or you will inflict your tremendous power upon them.

Jump off your broom during a game

Tell the first years that Dumbledore was just joking when he said that students were forbidden to go into the Forbidden Forest

Tell the first years that it is encouraged to sleep during class

Give Peter cheese in any form

Release moose in the school during exams

Make Snape proclaim his undying love to Madam Pompfrey

Put Mrs. Norris in a chandelier

Paint the blast-end skrewts purple

Release the blast-end skrewts in the school

Teepee Hagrid's hut

Dye Hagrid's beard

Boast to Lily that you are the best in Transfiguration

Bribe Lily to go out with you

Date Lily's best friend Alice

Ask Lily out in any way that implies you want to sleep with her

Ask Lily out more than 3 times a day

Draw a picture of what you think Lily's and yours child is going to look like

Plan your wedding with Lily

Tell everyone your dying of some tragic disease

Send a cupid to Lily declaring your love to her

Write poetry

Ask Dumbledore to be your lover

Scream, "Oh my God, Voldemort's outside!" during dinner

Shave Sirius's hair

Remus finshed up his list and left it on James's bed and headed down to the common room. He dodged Mellissa Johnson, who seemed determined to go out with him and ran out of the common room into the hallway.

"Oy Padfoot!" he called across the room. "Did you finish your list?"

"Yeah, I already gave it to James." Replied Sirius. "I nearly used up all of my paper to stop James from doing something stupid this year."

"Hey wait up!" cried Peter who was running up to them. "Bad news. I just talked to James about the lists."

"What did he say about them?" said Remus anxiously.

"He decided that if you turn them into him that he will do everything on the list."

Their fear was confirmed when they saw James on one knee with a little box in front of McGonagall, who had a look of horror on her face.

So what did yah think? I know I suck at dialogue, but what about the funny list? Was it funny? Did it suck? Hey, there is only one way for my to know. Press that little green button right over there. I know you want to.