- DISCLAIMER -
NOT MINE!
I WISH!

REALLY... I DO.

Belladonna Delarceny lay back on her bed and closed her eyes. Placing her hands firmly over her ears she tried desperately to shut out the wailing, but it didn't work. With an exhausted, wordless groan of exasperation Bella got up and walked over to the crib in the corner of the room. Her feet felt heavy, like sandbags were chained tightly to her ankles leaving every part of her aching and sore. For what seemed the millionth time she peered into the cradle, frightened to death of what lay inside with absolutely no idea how to handle or stop the screaming. Looking at the two bundles she felt a crippling and excruciating loneliness. Even as young as they were they looked so much like their father that she had to look away. Hating how their silky, fuzzy blond heads already resembled his, reminding her of him with every glance. Unable to stand it any longer Bella called out, a house elf instantly appeared by her side and, without being asked, began rocking the cradle and pacifying Bella's tiny, new children. The dark haired girl sat on the edge of her large canopied bed and wrapped her arms around herself. She never asked for this. She never wanted any of it. Then again, this wasn't how she envisioned her life turning out...

"Draco, I have something to tell you and I really don't think that you're going to like it."

Belladonna lay down again, letting the elf do her work. When the infants has been quietened she finally closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but it wasn't easy with the soft "snuffling" sounds of the babies in the corner. Crawling under the covers Bella tried not to think, but instead to just let her mind loose and forget it all. She couldn't. It hurt her too deep, in some untouchable, unfixable part of her, to know that she was alone and responsible for the two little boys sleeping in the cot. The boys that she knew, deep down just knew, were going to serve as a reminder for the rest of her life. Whether they knew it or not they would remind her every day of all that she had lost. As she lay in her cold, white bed Bella buried her head under her pillow to try and block out the soft hum of their breathing. It seemed so loud! So deafening in this room where there was no other sound to drown it out. She wanted nothing more than to scream, to run away, to do something. But there was nothing to be done. She was stuck. Bella pressed her hands over her eyes and finally, after a very long wait, fell to sleep.

She was awoken sometime later by one of her house elves coming up the stairs with the mail tray and coffee. Brusquely taking the items Bella then dismissed the bothersome thing. Glancing over at the bassinet in the corner of the room she mutely noticed that another elf had taken to feeding the babies their bottles. So the dark haired girl redirected her attention to her mail, unwilling and unable to look at the crib for too long. As she sorted through an assortment of letters, she recognised one as being from Blaise Zabini while another was from her Prewett sister in law. One in particular caught her eye. A white envelope edged in rich silver practically shimmered in the pile of ordinary looking correspondences. The elegant and ornate emerald script on the front was addressed, quite simply, to "Belladonna Delarceny". Not recognising the handwriting, Bella flipped the letter over, checking for an address on the other side but there wasn't one. She picked up her letter opener and ripped the envelope open, pulling out a card. It read:

You are cordially invited to the marriage of,

Asteria Constance Greengrass

To

Draco Malfoy

On Saturday 13th March 1999

Bella could have sworn she felt something inside of her break. Looking desperately inside of the envelope she checked to see if she'd missed something: a note perhaps? A little piece of card? But it was empty, not even a post-it. Nothing. Picking up her wand from the cluttered nightstand she tried a couple of spells to see if there was a hidden message, drawing, picture, anything! But it was to no avail, the card was exactly what it looked like. A card. She placed it on the nightstand, suddenly feeling too tired to even think straight, let alone deal with... that.

A owl tapped at the window and, after a look from Bella, the nursery elf opened it. The owl, that she now recognized as being ministry issued, immediately flew in and dropped a red envelope unceremoniously onto the bed before swooping back towards the way it had come which opened itself and rang out in Mafalda Hopkirk's unmistakeable tones.

"The Ministry of Magic congratulates you on the birth of your children. For our records we require the completion of the attached forms. Upon the completion and return of the required documentation you will then be supplied with the relevant birth certificates of your offspring. Thank you for your cooperation, Mafalda Hopkirk, Ministry of Magic Infant Registration department ."

After the last word rang out the envelope disappeared with a puff of smoke, leaving behind two forms. Bella sighed and snapped her fingers and another elf appeared instantly with a quill and ink bottle already in hand, which Bella balanced on her knees as she frowned at the forms.

The first few items were filled out for her; date of birth, place of birth, mother's name and address, but there were two blank fields left. First read "Name of Child:" the second, "Name of Father". Bella frowned again. Throughout her pregnancy she'd been praying for girls. In fact she had been so sure she would have girls that the thought of boys' names hadn't even crossed her mind. She looked over at the crib once more and thought for a moment of naming one of them after their father. But that just wouldn't be right. She sighed, again, and wrote on one form, "Kaspar Iphareal Delarceny" – after her father and brother respectively, and on the other "Sebastian Abrigel Delarceny" after her maternal grandfather and other brother. She remarked to herself with a mirthless laugh that she should have predicted twin boys – her older brothers had been identical twins after all, she should have seen it coming. Shaking her head lightly to banish the thought she then looked at the blank space following the words "Name of Father". After staring at the spot for a while and ignoring the pain in her heart, she finally put quill to paper and one after the other wrote, "Not Applicable." Rolling the documentation up, Bella then attached them to the leg of the Ministry owl which had flown over as soon as she was done and hooted in a strangely official way. The bird gave her one last look as if to ask if she was sure before turning and flying off, swooping gracefully out of the window and presumably back to Mafalda Hopkirk .

'So I guess that's that,' she thought, sending a spell over towards the boys that monogrammed their blankets were with their newly appointed names.

Looking at the elf she then said, with a voice that didn't quite sound like her own, "Bring them here, Twisty."

The elf gave her several worried glances but in the end did as she was told. Bella ignored the creature and took the boys awkwardly into her shaky her arms. They both remained silent during and after the exchange, but their luminous eyes looked at their mother with a startling intensity. She looked back and found herself disarmed, however there was something that helped to, at least partway, stop her fear. Their eyes. They were not like his, so cold and piercing. No, they were ice blue, big and beautiful. They were her father's eyes.

Suddenly something about the tiny babies in her arms made her feel safe. They no longer felt like reminders of her past, instead they felt like a bright new future. They were her children. Hers. Even the Ministry of Magic had it on record: Father not applicable. He was gone and they were hers. Bella's breath caught at the back of her throat and she smiled, tears coming to her eyes. But unlike before, they were happy tears. Exhausted, broken, happy tears.

"Hey there..." she started, not noticing the tactful elf slipping from the room. "Hey you."

Ok, so first chapter up and running. Basically there is quite a lot of back story, I might not pull it all in, it's a LOT. Read and review, constructive criticism is completely welcome, but don't flay me alive... There's more to come, and more than likely some scenes of a "colourful" nature, so keep holding out for that... Thank you!