A/N: This is my very first fanfic. Please be nice. XD

Special Thanks to Cherry Tulips for encouraging me to write my very own fanfic - and hopefully, I'll be able to encourage her too to finish 'Nothing Better' and 'Never My Love'. (Yeah shameless plug for them, so check them out!)

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything about The Host and Twilight. I do, however, own the 3-Disc Special Edition 'Twilight' dvd.

Ian POV

I don't care what she looked like. I just want her back.
I don't care what she looked like. I just want her back.

That was my mantra for the days that followed Wanda's extraction from Melanie's body. It may have been days, weeks or months; I didn't know. I lost track of time since they left to find a new Host for Wanda. I refused to eat and my belly had ached constantly from the lack of nutrition until it altogether just stopped functioning. If my insides ate itself up from starvation, I didn't notice nor did I care. The pain coming from the general region of my heart was just too overwhelming that it shadowed any other physical pain.

I couldn't think of anything else but to have her back in my arms again. Well, I guess it seems like that was what I was doing right now, but it is very different having to do it through a cryotank. I yearned to see her expressions again; to hear the kindness that flowed through her words and actions. She made everyone here feel like we were truly human – in the true meaning of the word. Not the monsters we had all been before she came. How she could have thought that she didn't warrant a life here was beyond me. Out of all the inhabitants in this cave, Wanda was the one who most deserved it.

Was it really that despicable for me to love her? Was that the reason she preferred to be buried six feet under than to have me as a partner? I didn't want to think so.

As much as I wanted to be happy for Jared for getting his Melanie back, I just couldn't bring myself to accept the price it had cost Wanda. What it had cost me. In fact, I was actually jealous. Really jealous. I believed Wanda when she told me she loved me too. Me. But I guess she loved Jared more; or at least Melanie and her body did. It didn't matter to her what I wanted. As self-sacrificing as she was, she sure didn't think about what this would have done to me. What it could have done to me if she had gotten her way…

I shuddered at the thought.

"No." I muttered to myself, still cradling the cryotank with my Wanderer in it. I guess I should be thankful to Jared for saving her from the fate she had chosen.

Jared.

Lucky bastard got his girl back. Everything was perfect in his perfect little world. All that was missing was a house with the white picket fence. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair at all. How was it that every time I have let myself love someone, they immediately get taken away? I thought that streak ended with my parents. Guess I was wrong.

When they suggested finding her a new body, it gave me a new kind of hope; that maybe, I might get my perfect ending too. But when Melanie had asked me what kind of body I preferred, I couldn't answer her. To me, any body with my Wanda in it was more than I could ever ask for. And that was how my mantra came about.

I was crouched in my little corner of Doc's hospital, pondering all this, when I heard the voices coming through from the south tunnel.

"Ian! Doc!" I faintly heard Jamie yell. "We found her!"

I didn't look up. Whoever that woman they'd be bringing in, it still wasn't going to be Wanda until she was inside it. They had to be sure first that that body didn't belong to anyone else once they extracted the poor soul they had knocked out. That was going to take days. I didn't want to be attached to another body when it might be possible that the consciousness behind it was still alive. Wanda wouldn't like that. She didn't want to be a parasite anymore and she definitely didn't want to have to start all over like she did with Melanie.

But if the woman did wake up, I guess that's one more human freed from the imprisonment of a Soul. Jodi wasn't so lucky though. Poor Kyle.

I peeked from my lids to see Jared entering the curved entrance of the hospital cave carrying an unconscious little girl – or maybe she was a woman already, I couldn't tell. She had a halo of golden hair with a slight sheen of silver on her faint skin that was accentuated under the bright light of the solar lamps. I couldn't see her face clearly, and that was a good thing. I didn't want to hope yet.

"Ian?" Melanie called to me. She was walking towards me with a look that was both worried and excited at the same time. "Are you alright?" she asked.

I shrugged and said, "How else would I be?"

She sank down beside me and reached out for Wanda's tank. I jerked it away from her.

"Oh! Come on, Ian! Wanda's my sister too, y'know!" Mel complained. "You weren't the only one who almost lost her."

"No," was all I could say. I continued to stare at the faint red light at the top of Wanda's cryotank.

"Look," she started again, turning her body to face mine. "I know you don't care what body we got her but could you at least be a little more appreciative of what everyone else has done to make sure she stayed here with us? With you? I get that you don't want to be attached yet to the body just in case the human inside does wake up, but would it really hurt to take a look? Jamie and I think she's perfect! Even Jared seems to think so, too." Her voice suddenly getting more excited. "We didn't go anywhere near the State where you and Kyle grew up just to make sure we wouldn't be taking someone you might know." She cocked her head to the side to make sure I could see her, and she looked at me with that rueful smile that Wanda used to make.

When I didn't say anything, she continued, looking towards the girl who was now face down on the cot, "We went all the way to Seattle, stopping by every State in between, just to find her. She looks a little young but I think she's bordering 17 already, 19 at the most. Some girls just look way younger than their true ages nowadays. I didn't know what the percentage of life was as a Soul to be certain the body won't be occupied anymore so we didn't want to get someone around my age again." She nudged me and I had to chuckle at that. I definitely didn't want that to happen again.

I finally glanced away from the cryotank and looked at Melanie. My heart still ached a little as I remembered the time when Wanda was still in control of that body – her body. I repressed the urge to cup her face in my hand and feel her warmth radiate through my fingers.

I shook my head, trying to rid the thought that was starting to form in my brain. No, she wasn't Wanda anymore. She's Jared's girl now. Heart and soul; finally undivided.

I glanced up towards the cot, where the sleeping girl now lay. Her face was blocked by the view of Jamie's back. Jamie was holding her hands gently in his; probably already thinking it was Wanda all along in that body. Near the entrance, I could see Jared talking to Doc and Jeb, retelling the details of their recent raid. I also noticed the additional cryotank with the red light on top of Doc's makeshift desk.

"It's just a matter of time now," I muttered. "This will be a long couple of days."

"Her Soul's name was Petals Open To The Moon. Pet, for short. You sure you don't want to take a closer look?" Melanie asked. "She looks real pretty, almost like an angel," she added.

I sighed and decided to get up. My muscles ached so bad from sitting in that crouched position for too long. My joints popped and Melanie shot me a questioning glance.

"You sure you're still in your 20s, right? By the sound of your joints, it seemed like you're already middle-aged!"

"Ha. Ha. Very funny, Stryder." I snorted. It was still awkward talking to Melanie. I wondered how long it would be before things wouldn't feel as strange anymore.

Melanie got up too and motioned for me to walk ahead. Still holding on to the tank with all my strength, I willed my feet to move one step ahead of the other.

As I got closer, I was able to see a little more of the girl's profile. Suddenly, I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It might have been from the lack of food but I wasn't so sure. I didn't realize my hands were already shaking. Was I just nervous to see the body my Wanda would be in, probably for the rest of our lives?

When we finally reached the side of her cot, I gasped - too loud for everyone not to notice.

I stared at her face, disbelieving.

"Andrea?"

A/N (again): Please let me know what you gals/guys think. Reviews are my special brand of heroine; aside from video games.