Title: Dealing with the Aftermath

Author: starcrazed

Disclaimer: The characters of "Veronica Mars" belong to Rob Thomas, UPN, CW.

Category: LoVe

Rating: PG-13

Summary: There is so much to do and say after everyone walks out of the cafeteria that day…what happens next and how does Veronica deal with it? Seen from different POVs.

Some dialogue has been borrowed from Veronica Mars- I do not own it, I'm not that creative or lucky.

Part 1

It was hard not to stare after Logan as he swaggered out of the cafeteria. The apology was shocking enough to embarrass Piz all over again, but watching his retreating form was a much simpler task than watching Veronica realize how very much in love she still is and will always be with the man who just defended her honor like he wouldn't.

So yes, looking at Logan Echoll's back was much better than seeing that look on her face.

He thinks it's the first time being a lover and not a fighter has ended badly for him.

Piz sighs, gathering courage from he's not sure where and walking around Gory as he pulled himself to his feet. He watches as Gory casts a glance at Veronica, but her eyes are twinkling with pride for Logan and not a drop of fear despite whatever 'connected connected' means.

In that moment Piz thinks she looks completely untouchable. Apparently so does Gory because he walks away after a pointed glare that goes unnoticed by all but Piz.

Her blue eyes are dancing as the smile from Logan's actions gradually fades away and it's the look Veronica always has whenever Logan is around. The look that draws people in, but it's her heart that keeps them there and as much as Piz has tried to deny it her heart, for as long as he's known her, has belonged surely to Logan.

Even if Logan didn't know it and even if Veronica herself didn't know it.

And from what Piz just saw, despite the insurmountable obstacles they faced from what Wallace has alluded to and regardless of the yelling matches, neither one of them is willing to give up the other's heart for somebody else even if it would make life so much simpler for both of them.

Not sure why, he sits at the table waiting for Veronica to realize she's showing to much, because it's true; he doesn't, nor can he know her as well as Logan, but any stranger could tell that Veronica Mars does not like showing emotions.

Expressing feelings like that means she's not in complete control, it means she's vulnerable and that isn't acceptable in Veronica's world.

It doesn't take nearly as long as Piz thinks it should, or rather wishes it would, for Veronica's eyes to find him sitting pathetically sad over at the table. Her tray of food left forgotten. His dopey smile doesn't reassure her as she rejoins the table, his mop of hair getting in his eyes annoys her and she takes his hand unsure why because all she really wants to do is flee.

Not necessarily after her knight in Logan's attire, but definitely flee from all the other college students sitting around whispering about her.

"Piz."

And while Veronica has always been a master wordsmith, words fail her now. Because how can she possible explain the unexplainable to somebody as naïve and innocent as Piz.

She can't.

She has known this all along. It's part of why she's with him. With Piz there is no need to worry about the unexplainable because everything with the sweet boy from Oregon has an explanation.

There are no murdered friends between them.

There are no ex-girlfriend of best friend or ex-boyfriend of dead friend tongue twisters.

There are no alcoholic, abandoning mothers.

There are no roofied nights not remembered or rooftop rescues never to be recalled.

There are no spinning kisses or epic speeches.

And Veronica knows that's the problem.

Piz is normal. And even though Veronica knows she isn't normal, although she knows she can never have normal, it doesn't stop her from trying. Despite Wallace's warning, Mac's sly comments, and her father's approving yet concerned glances.

And she did try as best as she knows how, but as with most things that concern Logan Echolls it just wasn't enough.

"Wallace warned me. So did Mac. And your dad never actually said anything, but I think I finally get what those prolonged non-threatening stares were about. Ignoring all that it's not like I didn't know. Anyone can tell really after watching the two of you together, even when you're not together."

His sigh is louder this time, ruffling his hair and Veronica's eyes skitter around the cafeteria guilty for a few minutes trying to find something, anything, to say.

"It was never my intention to hurt you, Piz. I really wanted this to work."

He knows that's true, but it doesn't help and he can't even blame her as much as he would like too. He still cares about her too much and he's pretty sure she didn't have prior self-knowledge to her epiphany of a few minutes ago regarding Logan.

"This is the part were we promise to be friends and keep in touch right?"

For a moment he sounds so jaded its enough to break her heart. She remembers what its like to be innocent and happy only to have Neptune take it all away. And now she's done the same to him.

"You're a perfect guy Piz. And you will find some girl who isn't so cynical and angry and you'll be just fine without me. Trust me. Lots of people, would be better off without me in their lives."

Eyebrows crinkled at her self-deprecating tone. Piz speaks softly, but determined more sure of himself than Veronica thinks she's ever heard him.

"That's not true Veronica. Forget all the mysterious that would have gone unsolved…" he manages a soft smile before continuing softly, "…that's just not true."

She nods, her eyes lingering longer now on the doorway. The conversation has reached its natural end and neither one of them have any desire to drag it out.

Piz takes his hand back knowing she's forgotten all about it as her thoughts spin furiously in her mind.

"I'll see you later Veronica."

He gets up and walks away knowing that's as much as he'll get. He's one of the few to say that he walked away first, as much as he really didn't want to, he walked away from Veronica Mars before she could run from him.

Piz is gone for all of a minute before Veronica gets up with her messenger bag and tosses her lunch in the closest garbage can. She hesitates momentarily, her mind prioritizing the tasks ahead of her and while she goes out the same doorway as her epic co-star it's not to follow him back to the Grand regardless of the urging of her heart.

Something that she has grown quite use to ignoring since Duncan broke up with her, Lilly died, her mom left, her friends turned on her, her virginity was stolen from her, and her heart was left broken and useless.

As she slides into her Saturn she dials Mac's phone.

"Bond."

"Hey Q. Sorry if I'm interrupting Max time."

Veronica cringes hoping Mac doesn't feel the need to share details before remembering they aren't that type of girl friends.

Mac waits for Veronica to go on, knowing that last part was more polite etiquette then curiosity for details.

She smiles at her silent friend who can't see her before rushing on as she pulls out of the parking lot and towards the high way.

"Anyways, I just wanted to check and make sure you had finished what we had talked about regarding the files."

Mac snorts, after using the super computer to break Jake Kane's password Veronica had printed out ten copies of a list of names and had Mac update her own computer with the downloaded audio/video confessions.

Of the ten copies Mac knew one was given to Nish, and at least one was handed over to Wallace. She was given two copies to hide. Veronica told her one would be locked in a filing cabinet at Mars Investigation, but the other five Mac only assumed Veronica hid in various locations around Neptune.

"We're good to go with whatever you have planned next." Pausing a beat Mac rethinks her last statement, "You do have a plan, right Veronica? This is Jake Kane, he's already ruined your life once."

Veronica smirks. She didn't need the reminder. "Yeah, I know Mac. I have a plan, sort of." The last ends up more of a whisper and Veronica can see Mac rolling her eyes across the phone line.

"Just be careful. This is seriously dangerous stuff Veronica."

She bites her lip to keep the retort in. Mac is just worried about her. Just like her dad worries, or Logan, or Wallace.

She finds herself entering the 09er zip, the streets familiar even though she hasn't been here regularly in a long time.

"I will. I gotta go."

And just like that the phone is disconnected and Veronica is rushing onwards to tackle her most recent problems so she could maybe, hopefully have a talk with Logan.

More realistically she knows they're looking at a screaming match and there will also be some pleading for forgiveness from her part. Obviously.

The newest Kane house isn't as large and intimidating as the old one, but it's certainly darker and far less welcoming, which Veronica considers an impressive feat considering she's pretty sure Celeste isn't living here.

Returning the hard drive doesn't take nearly as long as she thought it would. And Veronica's is sure she's escaped the entire incident unscathed with the exception of that video, but that parting comment from Jake has left her ice cold, with a pit of worry in her stomach that won't dissolve.

Her mind conjures up a hundred of ways Jake Kane could ruin Keith Mars. It's aided by the fact that he's already tried to do it once and mostly succeeded.

She tries to sneak into the apartment, but her dad is there cooking. Always there, whenever she needs him. And she let him down. He doesn't say anything now, but she can still see the shadows of disappointment and concern in his loving eyes.

"Good. You're home. Prepare for gumbo. How do I find the time to make gumbo, you ask? I make time.

He smiles at her and she smiles right back because he's here and trying. He is the hero after all so she's not surprised.

"You know I love you, right? More than anything.

And she really truly does, knowing how much he suffers with her and all that he would do for her. He's the one constant in her life that is forever turning on its axis and as corny as it sounds he's that beacon of light in a world of intruding darkness. It's why she can tell her dad those three words when she has so much trouble saying them to Logan. Despite how much she knows she does love him.

Spanning years and continents, lives ruined, bloodshed epic loves him loves him.

"Of course, honey. I never doubted. Eat."

All things considered it's a quiet night at the Mars house nevertheless Veronica can tell even Backup can sense the unease and tension. She can only take so much before she kisses the top of her dad's head wishing him luck tomorrow and going off to her room, more to hide then actually need for sleep.

It's a long time before sleep does catch up to her, ideas swirl in her head of the different way Jake Kane can ruin them or the different ways Gory can kill Logan. Sleep is restless and filled with Gory's smirk and Clarence Weidman's un-approving glare.

XXX

The slam of a door outside wakes her suddenly and she stumbles out of her room calling out, "Dad?"

There's no answer and Veronica remembers Keith mentioning something about going in early for Election Day.

Picking up the paper left on the counter she feels her stomach drop, as her nightmare becomes reality.

Prosecutor files charges against Mars: Evidence disappears under acting sheriff's watch.

She drops the paper back and looks away as disgust for her actions grow. She can't help but scoff at the irony knowing what the Kane's did to evidence related to their own daughter's murder. At the same time her heart swells with love for the lengths her dad continuously goes to for her. It's enough to shame her all over again and she stomps around the apartment for the next half hour as she gets ready to go off and cast her vote. Idly wondering what good it will do.

Voting for Keith Mars is satisfying. And the smile on her face lasts all the way to the door of the polling station when she sees the downpour. She casts her eyes upwards briefly.

Very funny cosmos.

Then sets out down the sidewalk wishing she hadn't given into the urge to walk today. She's hardly looking where she's going so it's no surprise when she's almost splashed from a puddle by a passing driver.

Looking up to see the car stopped and Logan Echolls gazing back does surprise her.

She watches his eyebrows rise in question as he glances down to the door handle inside the car. Veronica battles with herself for a second before lightening flashes overhead and she pulls the door open and jumps into the SUV opening her mouth before he cuts her short.

"Where too Miss Mars?"

She doesn't answer, instead going on with her own inquiry, "Out all night partying?"

His gaze shifts to hers, briefly filled with sadness and resignation. She can almost see the wall erecting around his heart and she wishes for a time machine so she could take back the accusing question that failed to come off as a joke. Sighing she tries to mend the most recent damage she's inflicted onto them.

"What are you doing up so early then? " Veronica can't help but be pleased that the question comes out only curious, not disapproving or jealous or accusing.

Just then the light changes and Logan speeds off down the street. Despite the rain, his window is cracked open a bit and the sudden wind ruffles papers in the back seat. The noise can be heard over the soft music playing from the radio. Veronica turns in her seat and sees piles of newspapers. Her brow crinkles in confusion. It's not just the seats that are covered, but the floor is full of perfectly intact papers and so too is the trunk.

The headline that seared itself into her memory stares back at her from the hundreds of papers in the back.

"I bet you just loved that didn't you, Logan. Raced out to get every copy so you could frame them for some hotel room decorations? Jake Kane sweeps the rug out from Keith Mars once again."

She huffs, turns angrily back in her seat and almost misses the change in his posture. However, her keen observation skills pick up the minute change and she turns to see the callous smirk gracing his face.

A smirk he wore through all of sophomore year and most of their junior year. A smirk that returned at the beginning of senior year, but she hasn't seen much of since before prom night. It was the smirk of the obligatory psychotic jackass. And while his words started off that way, all too soon Veronica was finding yet another reason too feel guilty and knowing her assumption is another way she has let Logan down.

"Gee Ronnie. See I was up early this morning couldn't sleep because of… anyway" Her mind focuses on the hesitation and he doesn't have to say that he couldn't sleep because of nightmares because Veronica understands.

She has nightmares too. Nightmares that only seem to fade away when she's wrapped in his arms.

"I figured I might as well go surfing, the sun wasn't even up yet and Dick said the swell was suppose to be gnarly." The glint in his eyes pulls her into a private joke between them about Dick and his vast vocabulary, even as he snarks his way through this explanation.

"Tina actually had a copy of the paper and the headlines just jumped out at me and I thought of the unfairness of it all. Here's your dad probably the only upstanding solid, parental figure this town has to offer and it would be just like Neptune to tarnish him. It was one of those instances of unfairness that I could do something about though so…"

"You rounded up every copy of Neptune's newspapers?"

"Tried. I can't do anything about people who get them delivered," he gave her a pointed look that told her had it been within his power the Mars apartment would have been without paper this morning. "And I can't do anything about people that Jake Kane and his prosecutors have spread the word too. Or those that get their news from the Internet. Besides I'm sure word will get around to everyone anyways. It always does."

The car ride was awkwardly silent for a few minutes as Veronica thought that just maybe her dad still stood a chance. Thanks to Logan. With a great sigh Veronica opens her mouth.

"Thank you Logan."

Her voice was hoarse trying to keep back the feelings of remorse as her mind automatically assumed the worse of him yet again despite just yesterday wanting to fall into him and never leave. She tried to portray her apology with the thanks and his single nod told her that he gets it.

One of the benefits of spanning years, ruined lives, and bloodshed.

His tone changed again back to hesitant friend, balancing on the tightrope that was most of their conversations as of late carefully, "When do you leave for your internship with the Feds?"

"Week after final exams are over."

She doesn't even wonder how he knows about Virginia. She talked about it non-stop when they were together and she can only assume Mac or maybe even Wallace mentioned it too him when she got it.

"What about you? Summer plans of surfing?" There is just an ounce of disapproval in her tone but he detects it as always and the hurt that flickers in his eyes crushes her once again.

Batting a thousand here Mars. Keep up the great work and you very well may ruin this relationship for good.

"Actually, I signed up for some classes since Dick will be hanging with Big Dick." He frowns at his own wording but Veronica ignores it.

"I'm sure that will be wonderfully pleasant."

The sarcasm comes easy between them.

"Oh yeah, one encounter and already I can see future games of pick up basketball in store for them."

He grins maliciously at the idea of Big Dick spending any time in Neptune.

Veronica softens, "Is it bad?"

Casting her a sideways looks the grin falls from his face, "What do you think Veronica?"

And she nods in understanding.

"Well, I hope the internship is all you wish for and that you kick ass out there in Virginia."

She's startled to find herself back at her apartment, parked next to her car despite the fact that she never answered Logan's very first question of where she wanted to be dropped off.

The rain has slowed and she looks up at him after glancing pointedly at her apartment.

"I know you. There are cases to solve, people to save, criminals to bring justice down on." He smiles at her and she finds a wave of courage flooding her at the same time dread at not seeing him for the whole summer creeps over her.

"Logan, I … the other day at the Grand," shaking her head she tries to start over her gaze locking on his as he stares intensely into her.

"You're the only one besides my dad who hasn't abandoned me, letting me down." She whispers the last part.

He blinks twice and she goes on after a deep breath, "No matter how angry we get with each other, I'll always…want you in my life."

I did not almost say need. I did not almost say need.

His eyes don't lose the intensity but there is a mocking grin on his face now, "Even when we're married with kids and old senile farts?"

For the first time in forever Veronica sees herself almost floating down an isle in a white wedding dress her eyes sparkling with happiness and a smile on her face. She's walking towards Logan and when he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at her she's not even mad that she laughs ruining the pictures the photographer is trying to take.

A second afterward, it's years later and Logan has laugh lines around his eyes. He's leaning over the smallest surfboard Veronica's ever seen teaching their six-year-old son how to surf. The little girl in her arms yanks on her hair and she turns to see a miniature version of herself with Logan's eyes.

The next second they are old and probably senile like he said, but the glint in her eyes and the smirk on his face lets her know they're just as snarky with each other as they've always been and when he gently takes her hand and electricity races up her spine she knows the passion never dies either.

Eyes widen with unabated, unadulterated fear as the future fantasy fades from her mind's eye; however, she's in too much shock to see the disappointment sweeping through him.

He clears his throat, believing her fear is more of an answer then he ever wanted and is ready to flee from her this time. But not a second more passes and her eyes are wildly clear blue sapphires twinkling up at him.

"Especially then."

Her answer puts a real smile on his face, lighting his eyes up with joy as calm washes over his frame. It's a smile she hasn't seen in far too long and as she realizes this, Veronica decides it's not important to let him know they'll be senile old crazies together.

As happy as that would make both of them right now, she realizes they aren't ready for that again. Not yet. The summer apart, as torturous as it will be, will do them some good. And hopefully afterwards Veronica will be seeing a lot more of that smile on his face.

She continues her movement to open the door and is leaving when her name on his lips stops her. He glances at her lips and her heart shudders, but then he looks quickly back up to her eyes, "We should hang out when you get back from Virginia, weekly movie marathons or something."

Veronica is already nodding in agreement, but he isn't done yet. "We could make it a group thing Mac and Wallace, Dick…"

The last name is mentioned with less certainty, but she keeps nodding anyway because any time with Logan is sounding like a really good idea to her.

"Even Piz and I guess Parker too." The last name is said with hesitancy as he recalls the last time he saw Parker.

Veronica remembers it too as she grins, "I don't think either one of them will be wanting to be spending their time in our company in the near future."

Her implication brightens his day almost more then the promise of being in each other's lives forever.

He smirks returning to the back and forth they thrive on, "You never did play well with others Ronnie."

Rolling her eyes she finally exits the SUV completely leaning back in through the window with her retort,

"You're one to talk Echolls."

She ignores his grin as he brings a hand to his heart, "You wound me with your words." They share a smile both knowing it's not true. At least not this time.

"Email me while I'm in Virginia?"

The question startles her as it pours from her mouth and she detests the note of vulnerability even though it's Logan.

Logan who she's known since she was 12 years old and knows he wouldn't ever intentionally hurt her. Not any more.

Logan who knows her better than anyone and still loves her, quirks included.

Logan who has saved her from ATF agents and angry Irishmen and broken little brothers.

Logan who makes her feel, makes her love.

"Everyday."

She grins and heads back into her apartment able to breathe much easier now that her ribs don't feel like they are crushing her heart.

TBC.