Spoilers: End of the old anime but slightly AU and will probably be more as the plot develops.

OK, so I got the idea for this fic after I had read a couple of angsty fics were Ed ended up in really bad shape, and I got a bit fed up with it. (Not that the fics were bad, they were quite good, otherwise I wouldn't have read them) So I thought that I should write a fic there Ed pays a high price, but still has a possibility to get back up and find a way to beat the crap out of that Gate. I did ad a bit inspiration from some of the old myths I know (there are surprisingly many blind gods/heroes/oracles in mythology) and hopefully it will be an interesting plot.

This is slightly AU since it was a while since I did watch the final episodes of the anime and simply rearranged what I remembered in a way that works for this fic. There will be more tweaking later, and the plot from next chapter and onward will be completely AU since Ed do not end up on the other side of the Gate.

Disclaimer: I do not own a rubber duck, and certainly not The Fullmetal Alchemist either...

English is not my first language and I doesn't have a beta reader. All corrections are welcome.

Blindsight

Everything but life

She wasn't sure exactly how the fight had started. The memories appeared out of the haze that made up the weeks before, but she knew what her first clear memory was; Edwards death. No mater how many times she tried to forget, no mater how many times she reminded herself that he hadn't stayed dead for long, she still couldn't get rid of the memory. The blood, the laughing homunculus and the light that faded in those golden eyes.

Time didn't move like it should in those memories, because the next thing she remembered was that Al disappeared in a flash of light. The armour disintegrated in front of her eyes and in the next moment Edward was back. Whole and alive and devastated. She answered his questions without a thought and watched him fret and pull his hair until he suddenly calmed. He turned to her, told her to back away, and in his eyes there were a determination that still scared her until this day. That was the last time she saw them, those burning eyes, deep and gold and bright as the sun.

She remembered it as if she was there again...

He drew his circles, on the ground and on himself, without hesitation. She watched from a distance, unable to turn around and leave as he had told her, but he had already forgotten that she was there. Then he knelt down in the middle of the circle, clapped his hands and activated the array. The usual blue and white of his alchemy lit up the circle in a beautiful show of light, but then the colour changed, became violet and black. And then the hands showed up. Black hands that would give her nightmares for months spurted from the ground, but he didn't break the transmutation, didn't hesitate. The black hands clawed over his body, caressed it in an almost lovingly manner and he began to disintegrate under their touch.

The homunculus, Envy, returned. Drawn back by the bright light. He laughed and came up to the circle. Taunting the disappearing alchemist, telling him what he would do to his little brother if he succeeded. Edward didn't budge, didn't show any signs that he had heard the torturing words, but in the next instant the black hands reached out of the circle, snatching the homunculus in an unyielding grip. Envy fought the hands, trashed and cursed, but there were no use. She saw how he was dragged to his destiny, kicking and biting, in sharp contrast to the alchemist beside him. Edward appeared calm, accepting even, when the hands claimed him and the light rose to a blinding strength.

When the light faded there was only one body in the circle. Long, thin and painfully starved. It was Al she realised, Edward had succeeded. This unexpected wonder managed to shake more of the fog out of her head. This was a miracle she understood somewhere deep inside. She walked over and knelt down by his side. He woke up, confused at first, but then he asked after his brother, although he probably already guessed the answer. She told him what she knew, hating herself for once again be the one to bring terrible news to one of the brothers. He stiffened and it was as if something broke inside him when he realised the truth. She was afraid of what he would do to himself, she had to anchor him to this life, to this world, and without a thought she placed her child in his arms.

In that moment alchemic light cracked above them and Envy was thrown to the ground out of nowhere. The homunculus coughed blood and limped when he staggered back on his feet, but when he saw Al he grinned malicious.

"Oh, ain't it Alphonse. The tin can has finally got his precious body back", Envy taunted him, "Too weak to move, too weak to defend himself. I could kill you, little brother, kill you right now and your brothers sacrifice would go to waste at once," he said and slowly began to move closer, like a cat stalking a mouse, "But I don't think I will do that", he laughed and stopped, "No, I will let you keep that body of yours, that perfect body without a single mark. You should keep it, and every single day it will remind you that it cost your brother his life. Funny how things end", Envy drawled, "I tried my best to kill the pipsqueak, but in the end it is you, little brother, who have his blood on your hands"

Alphonse didn't make a sound, his eyes just grew wide with pain and he was shaking. She was horrified. That monster. Those words wounded Al deeply, she knew it, but Envy continued merciless.

"But he was stupid that brother of yours, don't you think", Envy said with evil glee, "He had it all, he could have got his happy ever after, but he threw it away. But you won't do something that stupid, right Alphonse? You are clever, like me, little brother", he almost purred that last word, "You will go one with your life, won't you? Do all the things that he took away from you for all those years. You could travel the world, and you will be famous", he said with mocking drama, "Just step in to your brothers shoes, all the work is done. Alphonse Elric the Peoples Alchemist, doesn't it sound nice? You won't be the second brother anymore."

With growing dread she listened to the twisted words that came from the soulless creature, he was true to his name, Envy. Even now, she realised, did he envy Edwards life and did his best to extend his revenge to the other side of the grave. Alphonse lowered his head, cradling the child like a lifeline. He did look so fragile. So fragile. It awakened her protective instinct, a strong driving force she had discovered once her child was born, and then other feelings she hadn't known she possessed.

Evil, evil, evil. She had been surrounded by it for so long now. Corruption, lies, cruelness, betrayal, death and sorrow, would it ever stop? Envy wallowed in those things, lived solemnly for the purpose of spreading them further, she had learned that much during her time in Dante's clutches, and he held a special hatred against the Elric brothers. Against Ed and Al, the only people she knew that always had tried to stand up against the destruction, tried to correct the mistakes even though they failed miserably sometimes. She remembered it, You have two strong legs, use them. Stand on your own, walk forward, you don't need anyone else. Harsh words. Cruel in their bluntness, but painfully true, and she had done it. She had been beaten down by life, fallen completely, but she was still alive wasn't she? She had stood up once, she could do it again.

"Stop it", she said to the evil creature and her weak voice rang like a bell in the compact silence. A long forgotten feeling had began to stir in her body. Anger. How long had it been since she felt true anger? Not since the day Father Cornellio was revealed as a fake.

"You can talk?", he turned to her in surprise but the tone was mocking.

"Yes, and I tell you to stop it", she answered with steady voice.

"Or you will do what?", he drawled with a lazy smile.

That smug bastard! That superior smile, just like the soldiers that had captured her. That smile that told her that she was helpless, weak, unable to control her destiny.

"Back off girlie, I said that I won't do anything to the little brother there, but you are a different matter", Envy said before he turned to Al with a calculating grin, "Would you like to watch it brother, I could snap her neck for you", he offered with obvious glee, "Can't leave any witnesses to that human transmutation you did, can you?", he continued. Al's head snapped up and he sent a panicked look in her direction, get out, his eyes screamed.

"And that child you have there...", Envy drawled, "It's soon too old to be of any use for Dante, maybe I should just squish it?", he said and grinned in triumph when Al instinctively tightened his protective grip around the infant.

There was like a thunderclap in her head. The hell you will! Suddenly her body felt like it was alight, boiling with anger. Before she had time to think she snatched one of the spears that Edward had transmuted, the tip was broken but that didn't matter, it still held a good weight. She had lived in a war zone, she knew how to do this. Without hesitation, acting in a cold fury, she walked over to Envy and smashed his head with all her strength.

With a yelp he stumbled back, obviously surprised that his reflexes hadn't been fast enough to avoid the punch. He growled at her but she hit him again, bringing him down on his knees. Taking aim and gathering momentum she hit his head once more. Blood splattered with the impact but no red light rushed there to repair the damage. She saw how his eyes widened in fear when he realised that he didn't heal anymore. The Gate had taken something from him too, she realised.

Suddenly the tables had turned and he tried to scramble out of her way when she continued her merciless beating. All the anger, the helplessness, the fear, that had been bottled up inside her rushed out and gave her strength. She was going to kill him, beat him to death she dimly realised, but she still didn't hesitate. It felt good, this mindless rage and long awaited revenge.

Cursing violently he managed to get back on his feet and tried to fight back, but in his weakened state he was no match for her rage, and he knew it. His body did speak of a growing dread when he found himself helpless against a mere human and in a sudden burst of strength he limped away. She caught up with him and sent him on his way with a bone crushing swing. Running for his life he disappeared in to the shadows.

For a moment she stopped, uncertain of what to do, but then the bound to her child won out. She couldn't leave him without protection, and Al was helpless at the moment. She turned back. Kneeling down beside Alphonse once more. He gave her a small smile, a smile that would have grown to a laugh if he hadn't remembered that Ed was gone in the next instance. She saw the exact moment when realisation struck again. He turned his head out of habit, trying to get his brothers opinion, but then he took in the emptiness by his side. His bronze eyes vent flat and he stiffened, holding back a stab of pain. She gingerly patted him on the shoulder, tried to soothe him with the mere human presence. What else could she do? She felt completely useless, and the heat from the rage was draining away, leaving her stranded and cold.

Then, in the moment of despair, the alchemic light sparked to life above them again. A mirror image of the array on the ground glowed in thin blue lines on a swirling disk of white fog. The spinning motion was disrupted when the black hands reappeared, cradling something in their clutches. Slowly they descended to the ground, releasing their burden, stroke the unmoving form a last time and then retreated. The light of the array faded and the fog melted away.

"Brother!", Al's cry yanked her back to reality and she realised that the bundle that the hands left behind really was Edward. Hard metal shone against his bare chest and with a sting in her heart she noticed that he had his automail back again. Alphonse tried to get to his feet but his unused body didn't respond properly. She stepped over to check on Ed in his brothers stead, he was alive, she could see that he was breathing, but when she came closer horror gripped her.

"No...", she whispered.

"What! Tell me, is he okay?! Is he alive!", Al began to shamble sideways over the floor, still with her child in his arms.

"He's alive Al", she said in dead voice, "But the Gate... It took his other arm and leg." She felt tears running down her face, it was so unfair. Al did look at her with growing horror and then redoubled the speed of his awkward shuffle.

"Brother!", he wailed, trying to get some reaction from the mangled form, "Is he bleeding? Is he wounded? Don't just stand there, help him!", Al cried, frustrated by his own helplessness. She was startled by his harsh words, but then she realised how true they were. God, he could be bleeding to death! She acted immediately, bent down over the curled up form and turned him to his back, but she couldn't find any blood.

When she had overcome the worst chock of the fact that he was missing another pair of limbs she realised that the wounds were healed. His arm was taken right of his shoulder, not leaving anything of it, but were it should have been a gaping wound there were thinly stretched skin. The leg was the same. The pant leg had been ripped away with the leg and she saw that the end of the remaining stump were cowered with skin. The skin was paper-thin and fragile looking, but healed non there less.

"He's not bleeding", she said with bout relief and surprise, but she didn't have to elaborate more than that since Al already were by his brothers side, franticly checking his body for any bleeding wounds. Quietly she picked up her child and watched as Al calmed down when he had ensured himself that Ed's life were in no immediate danger. Ed appeared to be sleeping deeply and there was a calm aura around him that assured them that he would wake up eventually.

Slowly Al stroke over his brothers chest, tracing the smeared remains of a transmutation circle, and then brushed the hair out of Ed's face. Watching the tentative touch she remembered that Al hadn't been able to touch and feel anything for years. Her heart ached, this was supposed to be a happy moment. Al had his body back and Ed was still alive, but the cruel price took away the joy. A pained gasp from Al shook her out of her thoughts.

"His eyes... Not his eyes", Al pleaded and carefully prodded over Ed's closed eyes. No, not that too, she thought and an icy chill travelled along her spine. Dreading what she would see she awaited the result of Al's examination. Slowly Al sunk back, watching his brother with sorrow. Ed's closed eyelids were fused together and wouldn't open. They were far too sunken back in to the head, giving him an eerie hollow look. The eye sockets were empty, his eyes had been part of the price.

"Brother", Al sobbed, tracing the sleeping face, before he curled up and wept against his shoulder, "This was too much... too much...", he whispered, "I will get it back to you, I promise, Brother, I promise..."

She were completely forgotten in the moment, but she couldn't blame Al. No, she could only stare in horror as it slowly settled in her mind. Edward would never watch her, or anything else, with eyes of burning gold again. Those eyes that had radiated all his strength and determination, they were gone, forever lost. Yes, that was too much...

AN: Yes, Rose beat the crap out of Envy. I didn't plan for that when I started writing, it just sort of happened, but I figured that everybody has a breaking point and, honestly, I think it's about time that she snapped ...and it was kind of fun to write.

I have discovered that I have no talent in writing angst *Sights* I keep adding in fun situations without even thinking about it. Oh, well, I will just keep writing in my style and be happy with it.

I did deliberately not use Rose's name in the whole chapter since I tried to get some sort of stylistic effect. Tell me if it worked, or if it just sounds stupid.

And yes, the black hands was a bit too nice to Ed, but there is a reason for that. You will see.