"Have you fallen down and hit your head on something hard?"

Penny threw a look over her shoulder and Howard closed his mouth. "It's not a bad idea, guys."

"We're not saying it's a bad idea," Leonard started. "We're saying that getting Sheldon to agree to this is going to be….."

"Impossible," Howard supplied.

"You have a better chance of getting him to strip naked, lather himself in peanut butter and allow rabid dogs to lick it off of him," Raj added. Three startled pairs of eyes fell on him. "Well, maybe not that. But you get what we're saying."

Penny sighed. "Guys, it's New Year's. You really don't think he'll budge at all?"

Howard smiled at the other two men. "It's actually kind of sweet, how unwilling she is to give up on him."

"It's not sweet, it's stupid," Penny remarked with a roll of the eyes.

"If you want to try," Leonard shrugged, "go right ahead." As if on cue, the door to their apartment opened and Sheldon stepped into the hallway with the rest of them. They all stared at each other for a moment.

"Hello," he finally greeted them slowly.

"Hello," they all chorused back, somewhat brightly.

"You're up, kid." Howard clapped Penny on the back and she lurched forward, turning back to give him a dirty look.

"Hey, Sheldon." He seemed uneasy with her even speaking to him. He'd been skittish around her for the last week, neither actively avoiding her nor trying to converse with her in any way. He seemed almost shy now, and Penny was constantly telling herself not to get too excited about what his reasoning for this might be.

"Penny," he answered with a slight nod of the head.

She gave one more look at the other three men before turning back to the tallest. "Can I talk to you about something?"

He paused, his foot in mid-air for his trip downstairs. "I suppose," he replied before descending quickly. Penny followed, marching behind him.

"So," she started. "Here's the thing."

"Yes?" he asked without looking at her.

"You know Nicole in 4C?"

Sheldon stopped long enough to allow her to fall into step with him. "Does she own the hamster?"

"Yeah," Penny responded distractedly. "And the Johannsons in 4D?"

"Leonard stole their newspaper once three years ago, and ever since, they give me a dirty look when we pass in the hall."

"Okay, whatever." Penny ground her teeth momentarily. "Anyway, they're all out of town until next week, and the rest of us were talking-"

"-No."

"-about the possibility of-"

"No."

"-throwing a New Year's party?"

He stopped moving and waited for her to look at him. "No." He started moving again and Penny quickly bounded down to keep up with him.

"Come on, Sheldon. How often to I ask you for favors?" They had reached the lobby and she watched as he retrieved things from his mailbox.

"This isn't within the realm of favors that friends can ask of each other," he reasoned and Penny chose not to question him on his use of the term 'friend'.

"How about how you owe me from the time you stole my underwear and strung it up for the neighborhood to see it?" she countered, turning her face toward him as they started climbing the stairs once again.

"For which you called my mother," Sheldon shot back evenly. "If anyone here owes the other a favor, it's you owing me."

Penny scoffed loudly. "How do you figure that?"

"Do you remember the time I came home from your ex-boyfriend's apartment in my underpants?" He wouldn't meet her eye line, so Penny didn't have to worry about the smirk appeared on her face.

"Why Dr. Cooper, are you flirting with me?"

He blustered, clearly flummoxed with the turn the conversation had taken. His mouth opened wordlessly and then closed several times in succession. It gave him the appearance of a dying fish and Penny had to smother a giggle. The climbed up the last step together in silence to where Raj, Howard, and Leonard still stood, talking quietly. They all fell silent when Sheldon and Penny approached.

"Hey everybody, what do you think of throwing a crazy party on New Year's Eve?" Sheldon asked in an overly-bright tone. Giving Penny a meaningful glare, he disappeared into the apartment again. Penny waited until the door clicked closed before turning to the other three.

"You just gotta know which buttons to push when," she announced with a grin before flouncing into her own apartment.

***

"Can I get you a drink?"

Penny glanced up to the tall blonde by the makeshift bar who was currently smiling at her. She returned it with her own awkward grin. "No, thanks." She nodded her head at the man before beating a hasty retreat. If she was the type of girl who counted the number of men she turned down in an evening, she would be at six.

Luckily, she wasn't that type of girl.

Penny could have figured this kind of thing would happen tonight. She was dressed to kill, and she damn well knew it. Despite that, she thought she'd been giving off the fairly effective scent of 'Eau d' Get the Hell Away From Me' all evening.

"Hey," a voice said from behind her. Penny turned to take in Howard, Leonard and Raj lined up next to each other.

"Hi guys," she grinned. "You look great." For Christmas, Penny had bought them each a necktie, each with its own color and design. She was pleased to see them all hanging from her boys' necks.

"You think?" Howard asked as he played with the knot at his throat.

Penny smiled and reached out for it, tightening it slightly. "Definitely."

"How great are we talking?" Howard persisted. Penny tightened the tie further, causing Howard to choke. "Okay," he said in a strangled tone and stepped away from her.

"Has anyone seen Sheldon?" Penny asked as airily as she knew how. Judging from the smirks on all three of their faces, she didn't really pull it off.

"Why, are you looking for him so you can kiss him under the mistletoe?" Raj asked, waggling his eyebrows at the blonde.

"Shut up," Penny ground out, glaring at them evenly. She glanced around her to make sure no one she knew was within earshot. "Seriously guys, we're not going to talk about that any more."

"Talk about your heinously ill-advised crush on the Small Wonder?" Howard cracked, barely concealing his grin.

"What?" Penny asked, her brow furrowed in irritation.

"Oh," Leonard interjected. "He's referring to a short-lived television series from the eighties in which a family tried to pass off a robot as one of their children."

Penny set her jaw. "Of course," she answered, nodding sarcastically. She shook herself. "Look guys, I would appreciate it if my recent bout of-"

"-crazy?" Howard supplied.

"-…feelings," Penny finally answered pointedly, "could be kept under wraps."

"Why are we wrapping it?" Raj asked as he raised his beer bottle to his lips.

Penny sighed. "Because, he's not….ready yet." Howard snickered. "Shut up," she said again. "I'm serious, look….he doesn't…feel that way about me. Not now." Penny shrugged. "Maybe never, so it would be better if we dropped it, okay?"

Howard raised his eyebrow. "And what if I tell him you're in love with him?"

"Okay, first of all," Penny stepped forward quickly and twisted his nipple. "Secondly, if you so choose to do that, after giving Sheldon a ride to the hospital for the aneurism you'll cause him, I will castrate you." All three stepped backwards. "No, seriously," Penny eyes moved smoothly over each of them. "I will cut off your testacles, tie them together with yarn and hang them from my rear view mirror."

There was a beat of silence.

"So, don't tell him then?" Howard asked.

"Yeah, let's not," Penny answered, smiling sweetly. It was then that she saw him finally step into the living room. His eyes scanned the room, and instantly locked on hers. She smiled nervously and he returned it, wavering slightly. She watched as Leonard, Howard, and Raj all turned and looked in the direction she was currently smiling. "Shut up," she repeated as Sheldon approached.

"I didn't even say anything," Howard pointed out.

"Just covering my bases," Penny said under her breath. "Hey," she greeted Sheldon brightly.

"Hello," he answered flatly, lifting a chip from a communal bowl to inspect it.

They all stood awkwardly staring at each other, Penny not knowing what to say and Howard afraid of keeping his ability to procreate.

"Sheldon," Raj noted. "Doesn't Penny look nice this evening?" Penny could reach out and kill him with her bare hands. She felt Sheldon's eyes shift toward her and allowed herself to meet his gaze after a moment.

"I suppose," he answered with a shrug. "Does she look any differently than she always does?"

The truth was, Penny had spent almost two full hours getting ready for the party earlier. She'd gone through the long process of curling her hair and had arranged it around her shoulders in buttery waves. Her dress was a brand new one. A red satin number that fell to her knees in an A-line style and hooked behind her neck like a halter. It hit all of her curves, and she knew she looked damn good in it. Penny hadn't wanted to admit it as she was getting ready, but somewhere in the part of her brain that she didn't acknowledge, she knew she was dressing for him. She had of course missed her mark again, though. Because Sheldon clearly couldn't care if she was wearing a potato sack. It was one of the things she liked most about him honestly. Still, Penny wished she could be the one girl to make Dr. Cooper's eyes bug out of his head.

"No, she doesn't," Penny intoned, turning her back to him and mixing herself a drink. A man with a crew cut approached her almost instantly.

"Hi," he grinned, flashing his dimples at her. She swallowed and forced herself to smile at him benignly.

"Hi," she answered as she poured a liberal amount of vodka into a glass and added a splash of juice on top of it.

"I'm Adam," he announced loudly, trying to talk over the sound of the 'Space Odyssey' soundtrack playing on the stereo.

"Penny," she nodded taking a sip.

"Pardon my forwardness," he continued, leaning over the table toward her. "But you're gorgeous."

Penny lifted a hand to her chest and grinned at the man. Immediately, she felt guilt washing over her. As if she was doing anything wrong at all.

"Oh my God," she heard Leonard murmur behind her.

Then silence.

"Would you care to dance?" Adam asked her.

Penny nodded blankly at him for a moment before realizing what she was doing. "Um, no thanks." She smiled. "This doesn't really seem like dancing music."

"Okay," Adam nodded in defeat. "But I'm going to come ask you again when we finally get some R. Kelly playing here."

Raj squeaked. Penny brought one hand up to rub her forehead. "Sure," she answered. Adam winked at her and turned away, instantly zeroing in on a red head with giant breasts. When Penny turned around again, all four boys were frozen in place. Leonard, Raj and Howard all stared at Sheldon. Sheldon seemed to be staring at Penny's feet from the angle of his gaze. "What's going on, guys?"

"I was right in thinking this party was nothing more than one big mating ritual, set to bad techno music," Sheldon grumbled.

"This is your CD," Penny pointed out.

"Nevertheless," Sheldon stated, dropping his lone tortilla chip back to the table uneaten. "This was a waste of my time, I'll be spending the rest of the evening in my room. And no one is allowed in," he finished and turned on his heel. Penny watched with an open mouth as he worked his way through the crowd and out of sight.

"Of course," Penny said in a low tone as she reached up to pull a red Penny Blossom out of her hair. "That seems about right." She drank down half of her glass, wincing at the taste it left. "If you guys are looking for me, I'll be in the laundry room."

"What?" Howard asked, surprise in his voice. "Penny, I don't think you-"

"No, Howard." Leonard spoke up. "She wants to get away from the party and I don't blame her." Raj and Howard both shot Leonard looks and Leonard continued. "If she wants to leave, let her." He smiled at her. "I'm sorry this night didn't end up the way you wanted it to."

"Thanks," she said, quirking her mouth up on one side. It was all she could manage. "This entire thing was stupid. Like Sheldon could ever care about me." At least not in the way she needed him to. She always did this, set herself up for disappointment. She knew it was nobody's fault but her own. Penny couldn't expect Sheldon to change, didn't want him to change for her. She lo-

No.

She wasn't going to do this again.

It was a never-ending cycle.

She had to leave right now.

Tossing back the last of her screwdriver, Penny cleared her throat. "If I don't see you before, have a Happy New Year, guys." She reached forward and wrapped her arms around all three of them in one big group hug.

"Your luck might still turn around," Raj suggested softly in her ear. When Penny pulled away, she smiled at him.

"You guys are really great friends, you know that?" Leonard's smile seemed to be frozen on his face.

"No problem," he finally answered before turning and wandering toward the kitchen.

"Is something wrong?" Penny asked. Both Howard and Raj fidgeted nervously, shaking their heads.

Penny gave a backwards glance toward Sheldon's bedroom before wandering out of 4A, an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

****

"Get away from me you stupid orange ghost!" Penny growled at the screen. She mashed her thumbs against the tiny screen, successfully outrunning her enemies and swallowing the last pink dot. "Ha!" Penny thumped her heels against the dryer in triumph before continuing to the next level.

She'd been playing for roughly an hour, allowing herself to become consumed with the game rather than focusing on whatever problems she may or may not have. Penny glanced at her watch at saw that it was almost eleven. Sheldon no doubt was already in bed, hands over his ears trying to drown out all the noise the party was causing. Despite everything, the idea still brought a smile to Penny's face.

This was going to be such a problem.

Her phone vibrated next to her and Penny paused the game on her iPod. She checked the called ID.

Leonard was calling.

"Hey Leonard," Penny greeted blandly as she drew her hair over her shoulder.

"Penny," Leonard said on the other end. "Where are you?"

"I'm in the laundry room," Penny chuckled. It was clear Leonard had been drinking. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the party, you should come back!"

"No thanks," Penny answered. "But I appreciate you trying to cheer me up." She yawned. "You're a really good friend." And he was. It seemed like it had been ages since they had been a couple. They'd settled back into a friendship so easily she almost hadn't noticed.

"Penny," Leonard said in a low slurred tone. "I need to tell you something."

"Sweetie," Penny laughed at him. He sounded moments away from tossing his cookies. "If this is about clean up, don't worry. I'll come over tomorrow and help. I promise."

"It's not that," Leonard whined. "I just…I just need you to forgive me, Penny."

Penny winced. So maybe it hadn't been that long since they'd been a couple. Here was the drunken ex-boyfriend call she usually got around this time every New Year's. She honestly expected it would be Kurt, as it usually was. "Leonard, it's really okay. We don't have to do this."

"I'm sorry, I need you to know that," he mumbled.

"I do," Penny assured him.

"I really thought you were going through some sort of chemical imbalance," he continued, almost unintelligible now. "But then-"

Penny let the smile slide off of her face. He wasn't talking about her relationship with him, he was talking about her and Sheldon. "Leonard."

"No, listen." He was getting belligerent now, talking animatedly. "I saw it tonight. You were talking to that guy, and the way Sheldon was looking at you was…." He trailed off. "I didn't believe it before that. But he…loves you." He sounded miserable now. "Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought this was just some weird phase you were going through, and that we were going to eventually get back together." He took a deep breath. "Penny, I'm still in love with you."

Penny bit her lip, feeling sick to her stomach. "No, Leonard."

"I know that now," he explained in an offended tone. "You love him and he loves you and Leonard loses." He paused. "But he does love you and you need to know that, Penny. You deserve…" He trailed off and the call ended.

She pushed herself off of the dryer so fast so almost face planted into the floor. Righting herself, she took the stairs two at a time up to the fourth floor. The party was much more populated than when she left, and Penny sprinted past three co-workers without a word. Panting and shoeless, she tore through the crowd and toward Sheldon's bedroom. She found the door open.

And the room empty.

She visibly deflated and collapsed onto his still-made bed. She allowed herself to lay back and catch her breath. Penny curled onto her side and didn't try to stop the fluttering of her eyelids. For all she knew, she could have been their for hours.

"You're in my bedroom."

Penny opened her eyes, disoriented, and looked up at the obvious outline of Sheldon standing in the doorway of his room. The lack of light in the room made it impossible for her to see his face, but if she were to hazard a guess, she thought it would fall somewhere between 'annoyed' and 'flabbergasted'.

"Yeah," she answered as she climbed off of his bed.

"People can't be-"

"-in your bedroom," Penny finished somewhat wearily. "Yeah, I know." She crossed her arms over her chest awkwardly. "Can I talk to you?"

"Isn't that what you're doing?" Sheldon asked as he stepped into his room. He was dressed in what was clearly a new pair of pajamas. Bright blue pants adorned with the 'Superman' logo and a t-shirt that also held a large 'S' on it.

"New PJs?" she asked, ignoring his question.

Sheldon awkwardly looked down at his own form. "A Christmas gift from my sister," he agreed.

"Cute," Penny noted and watched Sheldon roll his eyes. "Look, I just needed to…" She glanced up at him before taking a deep shuddering breath.

"You seem unwell," Sheldon observed. "I would suggest you should turn in for the evening, but I have just come from your room, where it appears there are currently people having sex." His tone gave away his concern.

He'd gone to look for her. That had to me-

"There's people having sex in my bed?" Penny responded flatly, looking up at him. She frowned.

"There are," he corrected. There was a pause. "How many I couldn't tell you" he finally asked, clearly flummoxed. "It was dark in there."

Penny sighed. "Whatever."

"You should have put a sign on your bedroom door letting people know it was off limits," Sheldon suggested. "That's what I did."

"I didn't do that. You know why?" Penny slowly advanced on him, causing him to step backwards away from her. "Because it isn't in my nature to keep people at arm's length. I let people in, and maybe it's a problem. She slowed, taking her lower lip between her teeth. "But it's better than constantly pushing people away." Her voice was so small now, she doubted he could even hear her. She didn't know if she even wanted him to hear her.

"Where are your shoes?" He asked, ignoring her entirely.

Penny swallowed. "The laundry room."

Sheldon studied her in silence for a moment too long for Penny's comfort. "Why are they in the laundry room?"

It was now her turn to ignore him, because the answer to that question would just lead to more questions from him. "Sheldon." She cleared her throat. "I need to…" Penny shook her head and tried again. "Two months ago, you told me you didn't want to be my friend. That…sucked." She focused on his DNA model, lying on the floor. "And I didn't get why and it pissed me off and it made me sad and I didn't understand that either." She paused to breath. "I'm still not sure I do."

"Penny-"

"Don't talk," she cut in. He waited in silence, arms clasped behind his back. "I…I kissed you because I wanted to, Sheldon. Not because I was drunk or because I was lonely. I kissed you and you let me and then got all…you about it." She tucked her hair behind her ear. "And you left and I missed you and talked myself out of going to Texas to be with you half a dozen times, because I know your Meemaw was that important to you and that makes this even more crazy because you're always going to be like…this," she said as she waved her arms in his direction. "You're unreachable and crazy and while you were gone I still made everyone eat Thai food on Mondays, which makes me crazy too." Penny paused. "And then you do things like come home on Christmas and bring me your grandmother's book and… and what am I supposed to do with that?" Penny let out a lungful of air.

"May I speak?" he asked in a timid voice. She nodded miserably. "Do you feel better now?" She nodded again. He smirked.

"I just needed to get that out," she answered flatly as she collapsed back onto his twin bed. She honestly wanted to punch him in the face right now, bruise him badly. He was making this way more work than he needed to, and he was possibly doing it on purpose. Penny threw caution to the wind. "I think you were right, Sheldon."

"I'm right a significant amount of time Penny," he replied quickly. "To which thing are you referring?"

"I don't think we should be friends." She cleared her throat. "You win. You always win." Penny shook her head, allowing a wry grin to creep onto her face. "Thanks for the Christmas gift," she said, her voice overly bright. She punched him lightly on the arm before attempting to sneak past him. And in response, Sheldon did what he did best.

He stood his ground.

"Did you finish the book?" he asked evenly.

"Sheldon I know you won't believe this, but I'm not a total idiot. I've read it before." She paused. "My mother is an English teacher?"

"I don't think you're an idiot," he responded promptly, frowning in the low light spilling in from the hallway.

"Yeah," Penny answered flatly.

"How does it end?"

Penny furrowed her brow in confusion. "How does what end?"

"The book," he replied, his voice uncharacteristically patient. "How does Penelope make out?"

"She spends her time making excuses and waiting around for the man she loves to…" Penny trailed off, glancing up at his contemplative face. She moved ever so slightly toward him and he didn't flinch. Penny met his eyes, held his terrified gaze steadfastly. She rose to the balls of her feet and placed her palms against the 'S' on his shirt before brushing her lips against his softly. Sheldon exhaled in surprise without moving a muscle. Penny noticed he also didn't push her away at all. She pulled away and looked at him.

"Odysseus is the one who comes to Penelope, you know," she announced with a grin. "Who's standing in whose bedroom?"

Sheldon furrowed his brow. "What did you think last week was pertaining to?"

The smallest squeak escaped Penny's lips before she could swallow it. She rose and drew her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her level. Before she could drop another kiss onto his lips, Sheldon pulled his head away. Penny rolled her eyes.

"As much as I appreciate your ability to retrieve my prized 'Flash' comic book, I feel I need to ask if Wolowitz and yourself engaged in any sort of physical activity." Penny's eye got large. "If you sucked face with that weasel, then I think it-" He couldn't finish his thought, because she had just covered his mouth with her own. This time, he at least acknowledged that she was attached to his lips, slowly moving his own against hers for a moment before breaking the kiss.

"Is this…." Penny tightened her jaw as she trailed off. "Is this anything?"

"Penny," Sheldon answered in a condescending tone. "Everything has to be something." After a moment, she saw a tiny smile creep onto his face.

"Do you do this on purpose?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

"Do what?" Sheldon asked, clearly confused.

"Drive me nuts."

"Of course not," he scoffed. "That's just an added bonus."

Penny tried to look at him sternly but failed. She flopped down on his bed and ignored his pout. "So, can we talk about this?"

"Talk about what?" he asked, frustration seeping into his voice.

"Us," she replied plainly, gesturing between them quickly.

"Oh." He thought for a moment before becoming startled. "Oh! Are we about to change our relationship paradigm? I can draw up a graph for you if that would be helpful." His eyebrows rose. Penny couldn't help the smile that overtook her. She grabbed his hand and kissed the palm quickly. Sheldon stilled.

"See?" Penny noted. "We need to have some sort of plan in place so when I do something like that, you don't turn to stone."

"So you're saying this paradigm shift will contain within it displays of affection?" He moved ever so slightly aware from her.

"Okay, could you not act like I'm about to rape you please?" Sheldon glared at her. "I'm not saying we need to have make-out sessions figured into your schedule."

"Good," Sheldon pointed out. "I don't know what color I would make them."

"But," Penny continued loudly. "It isn't out of the realm of possibility that I may want to touch you from time to time. Okay?"

"Okay," he agreed slowly. "Am I supposed to touch you in return?"

"That's up to you, but I promise if you do I won't go all twitchy about it.

Sheldon shot her a look of sarcasm. "So, is there a title for this supposed shift?"

"Are you asking if you're my boyfriend?" Penny grinned, batting her eyelashes at him. He rolled his eyes at her.

"Of course not," Sheldon retorted. "I'm just uneasy with how to proceed." She stared at him. "What now?" he elaborated. Penny rolled her eyes.

"First, stop assuming I never know what you're talking about." Sheldon had the sense to look slightly chagrined. "I actually understand you a lot of the time, and when I don't, I'll tell you." She smiled at him. "And then you can explain it to me in the patronizing fashion you seem to enjoy so much."

"And you'll listen?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Maybe," Penny leaned over and kissed the corner of his mouth. He turned his head just enough so she was now kissing his lips full on. When she pulled away this time, he followed for a moment before allowing her to break apart. "That's better."

"What's better?" he asked cluelessly.

Penny shook her head. "Never mind."

"Oh, before I forget to inform you, tomorrow is omelet day and I was wondering if you would be joining us." He clasped his hands in his lap.

She stared at him blankly for a moment. "Leonard told you to invite me, right?"

Sheldon frowned. "No. Was he supposed to?"

Penny threw herself at him, planting a kiss on his mouth. His arms wound her waist and held her tentatively.

"No, it was always supposed to be you."