I attempt to arrange my thoughts into coherency, to no avail whatsoever. What is it about that blonde chocoholic that fascinates me so much? I turn the question over and over in my head, just as I twirl the lock of snow-white hair over and over in my fingers. I simply cannot find an answer, no matter how hard I try. Of course, I believe he knows this. I see it in the way he taunts me, in the way he is always bothering me. He knows how I feel about him, and he is determined to drive me to the point of insanity!

All of these thoughts swirl through my mind as I continue to bore a hole through the golden hair just inches away with my eyes. Its 1:00 pm, Friday afternoon. Math class in Wammy's house.

Being otherwise occupied with my thoughts, I do not notice at first when I am called on. I glance up at the teacher who is looking at me expectantly from the front of the room.

"Near? Can you answer the question please?"

"234.56" I sigh. Class is so boring. And too easy….

"Thank you, Near. But would you kindly pay more attention next time?"

She turns away to face the blackboard again, and I roll my eyes. A large display of emotion for me, the boy with no feelings. That's what some of the other boys call me. Hah! If only they knew…I think. I have feelings; I'm just very, very good at hiding them. If I didn't, I would probably get more bullied and beat up than I do now.

I let my eyes slide back to the blonde head in front of me. But instead of pale golden strands, my dark grey eyes met with narrowed cerulean ones.

"Near…"

"Mello…" I lean back infinitesimally from his smirking face; the look in his eyes was dangerously seductive.

"You know you really can't afford to let your concentration slip…" I stare back at him, now twirling my hair so tightly around my fingers it hurts. I will not let him know…I cannot let him know. I chant over and over in my mind.

"Because the moment you falter…" -Mello leaned in closer- "I'll take it all."

I shiver, but not from cold. His words and tone are frightening and alluring at the same time.

Oh no….I realize a second too late that I had been unconsciously leaning closer too, in order to catch more of that warm, chocolate-scented breath. We are now much too close to each other; I, practically on top of the desk, he, tipping his chair back so it was balanced precariously on only two legs.

"M-Mello…" I whisper, I was about two inches away…just two tiny inches between me and those sweetly pouting lips….

"Mello! What the fuck?" the haze coating my mind broke in less than a second. I start and jump back so fast my own chair falls over. I end up on the ground, looking ridiculous, I'm sure. I shake my head to rid myself of the thought of what I had almost just done. Was I about to….kiss him? I am still confused and disoriented from the…incident. The bell rings, saving me. What a cliché. I think. I pickup my belongings and speed toward the door, reaching it and tumbling through before the rest of the class has time to react.

Whipping around the corner, I run straight into Roger.

"Oh! Near, hello. Are you having a nice day?" he inquires politely. I swallow, regain my composure and nod.

"Good….I'll be going now." Roger smiles kindly and walks away down the hall. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Leaning back against the wall, I sigh, sliding down it till I am sitting on the floor. Being still too close to the classroom door for comfort, I curl my knees up to my chest, listening to the sound of children's voices inside.

Barely a minute later the class comes pouring out, chattering and laughing, glad to be finished with the last class of the day. I squish myself closer to the wall, hoping I won't be noticed. Thankfully, I'm not.

As the last stragglers move away around the corners at the ends of the hall, I rise shakily and begin to walk towards my playroom. I need peace and quiet to think things through. Hugging my books tightly to my chest, I inch softly past the still-open door to the classroom. I had watched all the children carefully, noticing that a certain blonde and his red-headed gamer sidekick had not been among them. This meant, of course, that they were still in the room. Probably waiting for everyone else to leave so they could beat me up with no witnesses…

I stop in my tracks, looking at the open door. The teacher, I think, she's still in there! Maybe I have a chance to get away after all… But for some reason, even as I thought this, I didn't move an inch. I heard voices…

"Mello, Matt, why don't you join your friends outside?" it was the teacher. She probably just wants them out of her classroom, I think. Mello is known to destroy things if he has a fit.

"We were going to stay for a bit, if you don't mind. Matt has some work to catch up on." Mello's voice. His words are polite, but I could tell from his tone that he didn't give a damn whether the teacher 'minded' or not. He wasn't moving till he felt like it.

"Well…all right. But don't break anything, please. I'm going on my break now." I heard the teacher get up and footsteps neared the door. I start, and slip behind the door seconds before the teacher comes out. I watch her through the crack under the hinge as she gives one last glance at the boys sitting quietly at two desks, and walks away down the hall.

"So what is it, Matt?" Mello asks, as soon as the footsteps fade away. I was still glued to the spot, listening to their conversation, and watching through the tiny slit between the door and the frame. Mello is still sitting in the same place he had been when-well-the same place he had been five minutes ago. Matt had taken the desk next to him to talk.

"I don't know Mello, you haven't been yourself lately…"

"How so?" Mello seemed to be challenging him.

"You're even more obsessed with Near than usual! I've seen you staring at him, and you keep threatening him, but obviously you never mean it. And now you almost kissed him right in the middle of class!!"

I gasp silently. He almost kissed me? But I thought I almost kissed him…surely if I had Mello would have thrown me down right then and there--wouldn't he?

"And if what you say is true…what are you implying? " says Mello dangerously. I could picture his expression perfectly. His eyes would be narrowed in a predatory way, the blue flashing in a warning that was not to be ignored. I had seen that expression many times--right before I was slammed into a wall.

"Calm down Mello…" says Matt warily. "It was just weird. I thought you hated him."

I can't move. I am frozen in place, wondering if they would continue speaking, or if Mello would effectively end the conversation by decking Matt.

"I-I don't know anymore, Matt."