I wrote this just because I couldn't stop thinking about the way Dean and Sam used to be. :(

...

Sam passed a book to Dean but as a hot white pain ran through Dean's chest and stomach, he let go of the book and it fell down to the floor.

"What?" Sam sounded worried.

"Nothing." Dean gritted through clenched teeth.

"Looks more than nothing to me... Dean what's going on with you?" he asked again.

"Told you, nothing... I'm fine." Dean clutched his chest.

"O yeah? So I take it that you don't know either; come on, you should see a doctor." Sam grabbed his arm.

"No Sam... let it go." Dean pulled his arm out of Sam's grasp.

"Dean.. please.." Sam could say that Dean knew what was wrong and dammit, he needed to know.

"It's cancer ." Dean finally blurted out.

"WHAT?" Sam almost cried out.

"Cancer,.. Is this the first time you hear the word?" Dean's voice was cold.

Sam's eyes were still wide with shock. "Canc.. Wh.. What do you mean cancer? How could you be so sure?" 'There should be a mistake' Sam thought. Dean was talking about cancer like it was just a cold.

"Has an easy way dumbass; it's called a test ." replied Dean.

"Test? You did a test? when? Is it.. stomach cancer or lung?" Sam felt like his heart had dropped to his boots.

"Stomach...and I don't know when exactly I went to the hospital for the test, some weeks ago, I guess."said Dean.

"Wh...Why didn't you tell me?"Sam was annoyed but the concern and anxiety was wining over.

"Oh.. .like you care?" Dean uttered coldly.

"Of course I care Dean." the younger man looked confused.

"No you don't and you know that well. Sam, don't try to fool me or yourself. We both know the reason that you're staying with me is not because you care or you like to be with me... It's merely because you think that if there's one way to win this war, that would be this. You're not the old Sam I used to know... The Sam I could-"

"Trust?" Sam interrupted him .

"I could lean on, if I needed to." Dean glared at his brother. "So don't ask me why I didn't tell you, because you know damn well that it'd be the last thing you could care about." Dean said as calmly as he could.

"Dean it's not like that... Really... You should believe me ." Sam tried to convince Dean .

"Why should I? Because of the way you act? Oh, come on ,man... The more I try to fix things and get closer to you, the more you push me away and shut the doors in my face. You think I don't know how bad is the situation? Or I don't care about these freaking things?.. Dammit, it's driving me crazy and I know things are just getting worse. But what difference would it make if we just get angry? So, stop blaming me for something that's not my fault." he said unpleasantly.

"I'm not blaming you Dean." said Sam curtly.

"O yeah? That why you always act like a jerk? Or like a father who's tired of his stupid, wayward son? Whenever I try to make you at least smile you just frown and you're like 'DEAN...Stop it. Dean...Not now Dean'...Or whatever... I'm just tired Sam... I really tried my best, but that's never been enough and I've finally had it."Dean sighed.

"I'm sorry... I really am."Sam said regretfully.

"No Sammy, you're not. You just keep saying that. Always. You're kinda used to it; you do everything you want and then you say sorry. If you really were sorry, you would've tried harder and would act differently... you could try to change things for better, not to push them closer to the edge." Dean shook his head.

"What should I do now ?" Sam asked worriedly.

"Do you really want me to tell you what to do? Isn't it what you're angry about? Wouldn't you then say 'you didn't let me grow up' ? I think what you're supposed to do is something that you should think about and find out for yourself.. I'm not gonna tell you what to do ... not anymore." Dean sounded totally spent.

"Dean, please... Don't push me away again." He was almost begging. Normally Sam wouldn't do that, but his brother had cancer and thought he didn't give a shit. No. He couldn't turn his back on this one. He couldn't lost his brother again.

"What the hell? I'm not pushing you away. It's you who'd been keeping distance like I've the plague. I wanted you back... I want you back, but apparently you don't want back." Dean frowned.

"I'm... damn it Dean, I'm sorry... Please, let me prove it to you... I know you're mad at me.." Sam was afraid , he knew what would happen after these kind of conversations.

"I'm not mad at you." Dean sighed. "I'm just tired and disappointed."

"What if I try to fix things? I know, I know; I've said that before and I've been so busy feeling guilty that I didn't see what I was doing to you, and I'm truly sorry for that... Just... Just let me fix things." he really needed to try to stop things from getting worse.

"It's not about me Sam, it's about you. Man, you need to fix things with yourself and everything else will fall into place, because then you can be the old Sam again, not this stranger I hardly know. All I'm worried about is you." Dean's voice was softer.

"Then help me to fix things with myself."

"Don't think you need my help. I'd be the last person you need around." Dean smile's was bitter.

"No. No, Dean... It's not like that. You're the most important person in my life. Always have been, always will be. I can't see anything happen to you. Hey. No, big brother, you're gonna help me, and you'll let me help you through your disease... what do you say? Are we OK?" Sam sounded determined.

"Time will say." Dean shrugged.

"Sounds fair. Now are you gonna tell me more about your problem?" asked Sam.

"Nothing to say. It's not a big deal. I'm getting used to it, something like this will never make me say the word Zach wants to hear." Dean replied heatedly.

"so this is Zach's tricks?... I thought he healed you."

"It's not that stage 4 cancer he gave me back then. Just stage two! He just wants me to get tired and give in, and I'm so not gonna give it to him, ever."

"There should be some treatment." said Sam.

"Not for an angel Mojo. Don't worry. It's not a problem I can't deal with. We have more important things to do; there's no time for this little stuff ."Dean shrugged.

"Dean.. It's not a-"

"Sam, first things first; we're gonna fix the things between us, remember?" Dean mentioned.

Sam smiled and nodded. "But you're not gonna leave it just like that, you're gonna be fine... we'll find a way."

"Yes.. we'll ." Dean smiled back at his little brother and thought ' we'll be fine '.

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... The End ...