NOTHING OF MERCY

Summary

First in the "Proverbs from The World" series. After Majin Buu is defeated, the Z-senshi enjoys the peace at the hot springs, but the ghost of a memory threatens to spoil the vacation for our favourite saiyan prince.

Genre, couples and rating

Humor/Angst – Mentions of more or less all the canon couples, abundacy of fanon clichés. Basically a Goku/Vegeta friendship fic. Rateable T bordering on M for V/B sexual innuendo and mentions of disturbing torture practices, plus a few cuss words.

Disclaimer and author's note

Nothing belongs to me, except the plot (if you'll forgive the overstatement!). Hopefully not your usual Vegeta's-been-abused-by-Freezer sort of fic. Oh, and because someone commented on it, the spelling of the names is the one used in the Italian version of the manga, simply because that's how I learned them first, even though I know they're spelled different in English... but I think you'll understand who they are anyway ;D

"Fire, water and government know nothing of mercy." - Albanian proverb

"Vegeta! Ohi, Vegeeetaaaaaa!"

The saiyan prince barely resisted the urge to shield his sensitive ears again Kakaroth's high-pitched call, reaching him with full force even through the wooden walls that separated them.

"Tch, that loud idiot…" he cursed the revived warrior under his breath.

The Woman and her friends had somehow managed to convince him to follow them in a one week vacation to the hot springs; he'd agreed only because they told him it was relaxing and peaceful, but so far peace had steadily eluded him.

"You're supposed to socialize in places like this, Vegeta" his human mate informed him sternly, catching his sour expression as she walked into their bedroom. "Get out there and soak with everyone else. That's an order, mister."

"Surely after ten years you've learned that the surefire way to make me do the exact opposite of what you want is to order me to do it, right?" he asked ironically. "Besides, that robe you're wearing..."

The Woman smiled at him coquettishly, flashing her thigh through the split of the yukata, but did not relent.

"Get out there and soak, buster" she repeated, "or you can dream about ever getting under it for the duration of this vacation."

Vegeta huffed impatiently.

"We've talked about these threats, haven't we?"

Bulma blushed at the reminder. Vegeta had explained to her that, in saiyan culture, threatening to withhold sexual favours from your mate was considered a rather serious insult to said mate's masculinity, or femininity as the case may be. For all practical purposes, she'd just invited him to demonstrate his prowess by raping her.

"Alright, sorry, you know I don't mean anything by them" she apologized with a timid smile.

"Vegeeeetaaaaaa!" Goku bellowed again, even louder than before.

"Sweet Mother of the Legendary, can a voice be more annoying?"

"You're biased" she accused him playfully.

"Am I?" he retorted with incredulity.

"Alright, maybe not completely" Bulma conceded. "In any case you've got nothing to do but join them. Chichi, Juhaachi and I are going out with the kids, Gohan is taking Videl hiking, and you're going to socialize even if it kills you. Don't forget I can always hold out on the food supply for leverage, dear."

"Fine, fine, I'll go, blasted Woman, but you'd better make sure you're not wearing a single stitch of clothing under that robe tonight."

"It's a deal" she replied with a wink, "and if Goku tells me you've been nice to him, I promise you'll get a special reward."

The prince weighed the advantages of enjoying the rather obscene act his mate was mimicking against the discomfort of actually being nice to the younger saiyan. Much to his dismay, the choice was an easy one.

"Fine, fine. I'm going, happy?"

"You don't know how much, Vegeta" she replied meaningfully, with a beaming smile.

Grumbling under his breath about sentimental females, he turned around and opened the sliding screen that led through to the garden, stepping outside without bothering to wear sandals. Following the stone path, he reached a fenced area in the middle of a group of trees. Through the gateway he found the steaming pond with Kakaroth, Yamcha and Crilin happily soaking in it.

The sight of the water was inviting enough, but the thought to share the bath with the other fighters made him uncomfortable. It wasn't a matter of body shyness, he'd lost that particular inhibition years and years before. He just didn't like to share his personal space with others, especially in or around water.

"Vegeta, finally!" Kakaroth exclaimed, grinning at him like a maniac. "Hop in, the water is just perfect!"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you" the prince groused. "As a matter of fact, the whole bloody village five miles from here heard you."

Without any further ado, he slipped out of his robe and descended into the water. The younger saiyan was right, the temperature was just perfect, and the underwater stones made an acceptably comfortable seat.

"Take a look at this, Vegeta" Crilin urged him, pushing a wet magazine in his hands with a devious smile. "Someone's made it to the limelight, huh?"

The prince eyed the picture with disdain. It was a photo of himself, taken during the cocktail party that had been held at the Satan residence to celebrate Majin Buu's defeat, another inane event his Woman had blackmailed him into attending.

That fool Satan had an arm around his shoulders, as if they were friends or something. Some sneaky paparazzi had managed to take a shot of the painful moment without his notice, otherwise the photo would have never made to publication. Still, the wrestler had technically saved his life, maybe sneering that he was a good-for-nothing, pathetic weakling was bad form.

"They didn't get my best profile" he deadpanned instead, returning the magazine to Crilin with a haughty gesture.

The joke took a moment to sink in, then Kakaroth and his friend burst into tear-wrenching peals of laughter.

"Man, Vegeta, you crack me up sometimes" Yamcha chuckled, catching his breath after a while. "One would never guess there's a sense of humour behind that scowl."

"Maybe the problem's the company?" he teased back, faking a pleasant smile.

"Naah" Kakaroth replied. "You just need to relax, 'Geta, and I know just the way!"

"What the hell... What are you doing, Kakaroth?" the prince asked in alarm, seeing the younger saiyan moving behind him and getting uncomfortably close.

"I'm going to give your back a massage, you grouch, you sure look like you need one! Look at all those bunched-up muscles on those shoulders! Just close your eyes and forget about everything else, I promise you're going to feel as good as new when I'm done!"

"Kakaroth, you'd better keep those third class paws to yourself unless you want me to bite them off!"

"Geez, Vegeta, I thought we were over this shit?" Crilin inquired annoyedly, made brave by the consternated look on Goku's face.

"Why would he want to do something like that anyway?" he asked suspiciously, instead of replying.

"Friends do this sort of things for each other, Vegeta" the Earth saiyan explained with a pout.

A flashback of Bulma's promised performance for the coming night made him cringe. He really wished he wasn't so keen on his wife's body as to be willing to take back the mean warning he'd just issued.

"Oh, what the hell, go ahead, you big whiner" he said, looking askance at his fellow saiyan. "Tell you what, if your performance is satisfactory, I may even return the favour. I warn you, though, my standards are lofty."

"Wouldn't expect anything else, 'Geta" Kakaroth replied with a small chuckle, his good humour instantly returned.

When the younger warrrior's big hands started kneading his back, their steady and energic massage added to the heat of the steaming water, relaxing the prince's muscles perhaps for all of ten seconds. Instead of letting go and enjoying the feelling, however, Vegeta found himself growing tenser and tenser, so much that Kakaroth couldn't help remarking on it.

"Sheesh, Vegeta, feel the knots you've got here, you really need to do some yoga or something, you know!"

"Oblige your prince and let him wipe the floor with you, that'd relax him a great deal" he replied, trying to cover his disquiet with a mock growl.

He felt more than saw Kakaroth smiling knowingly behind him.

"I would, but I know that really isn't the way you like it, 'Geta. It's the challenge you love, isn't it? If it weren't for the challenge, you wouldn't give me the time of day."

"Hn" he murmured non-committantly, avoiding correcting the inaccuracy in the last part of the statement. His compatriot had more than earned his respect by now, even if he was willing to admit to it only in the privacy of his thoughts.

Through half-lidded eyes, Vegeta watched the onlooking humans and was about to give them a mocking smirk when Kakaroth's hands slid higher and started working on his shoulders.

Instantly, the pond looked as if it'd been halved, and the humans were far, far too close for comfort. Goosebumps broke over his skin. The other's saiyan presence at his back suddenly felt towering and dangerous.

"Kaka..." he started as he tried to move away and found he couldn't move.

"Relax, Vegeta" the younger man chided him again, exercising pressure on his neck to keep him still.

Crilin and Yamcha realized that something was seriously wrong when, instead of offering the upteenth sneering comment, Vegeta just gasped, as if he were breathing with difficulty.

The prince did not see their looks turning from normal to puzzled, and finally to alarmed. All he saw was unfocused watery depths, reaching inside his lungs and crushing his higher brain functions. Chocking on the air he could no longer breathe, he lashed out in pure terror and solidly planted an elbow in the younger saiyan's stomach, sending him flying out of the hot spring and right through the filmsy wooden fence.

"What the hell...? Goku! Goku, you alright, man?" Crilin cried, barely remembering to grab a towel for modesty before he rushed to his friend's landing site.

Son Goku emerged from a spot of bushes, confused but unharmed.

"I'm fine" he reassured his old comrade.

"Vegeta, what happened here?" Yamcha asked without animosity, realizing that Vegeta's reaction had not been completely voluntary.

The prince blinked, partially recovering his self-awareness. As soon as he realized what he had done, he flushed scarlet. He'd just had a stupid, pathetic panic attack, and in front of none other than Kakaroth! Without offering even a token explanation or excuse, he stormed out of the pond, grabbed the first towel that came in handy and added to his own disgrace by beating a hasty retreat.

"Alright, what the hell have you three done to Vegeta?" Bulma inquired angrily, pacing back and forth and giving flaming glares to the three men before her.

"We didn't do anything!" Crilin protested. "It was him who flipped suddenly and attacked Goku!"

"Look, if Vegeta is refusing to eat – refusing to eat!" she repeated for emphasis "and to let me within five feet of him, it can't be for nothing! Now, out with it!"

"It's my fault" Goku said miserably. "I don't know what it was, but I must have done something that made him snap. I've never seen him so upset... not angry, but really, really spooked!"

Seeing Goku's contrite expression, Bulma relented.

"Look, just tell me what happened" she sighed. "I want to understand if there's something I can do to salvage his vacation and everyone else's."

"Goku was massaging his back" Yamcha began to relate. "Vegeta seemed fine, then suddenly... zoned out, or something, and next thing we know he sent Goku flying and ran out on us. That's pretty much it."

Bulma could perhaps guess what had caused her husband to react badly to such a situation, but she had no real information to work by, only a woman's intuition. Still, it was disappointing to understand from her friends' clueless attitude that none of them had ever paused to wonder what Vegeta's life was like before he came to Earth.

"Look, Goku, if this is your mess" she said finally, "you'd better do your best and fix it. Talk to him, shout, plead, fight, do whatever it takes to shake him out of this funk. If you want my advice, though, you should try to make him talk to you, and simply listen to him for a while. If you ask him earnestly, he won't make you plead too much. You two perhaps understand each other on some instinctive level because you're both saiyans, but you don't really know each other."

Goku nodded, promising to try all he could to get Vegeta back in a good mood, or as good as it was normal for him anyway.

"Alright, guys, I need your help" he admitted, after Bulma left. "Any thoughts?"

"Bang his head against the wall until he forgets about the whole thing?" Crilin suggested, only half-joking. "I don't want to rain on your parade, but I think Bulma is optimistic when she says he'll talk to you, no matter how prettily you ask."

"Banging his head is only going to damage the wall and piss him off worse, ol' buddy" Goku replied. "Besides, I want to be sure I go about this right. We always assume a lot when it comes to Vegeta, but we never know what he's really thinking, right? I sure don't, not right now at least."

"I believe that, more than thinking, he was in flashback when he reacted that way" Yamcha supplied.

Seeing his friends' puzzled expressions, the scarred warrior elaborated.

"Well, think about it. He reacted like he was in mortal danger, but he wasn't, was he? He was getting a back massage, one of the three best things in life after sex, even when it's your archrival doing it. My guess is, in his mind there was a connection between the situation he was in physically, and another situation in which he's been in danger, thought I can't really imagine what it could be."

Goku looked at his friend for a while, nodding carefully. Crilin eyed him suspiciously.

"Goku, do you really understand what Yamcha is trying to say?"

"No, not really" the saiyan admitted with a goofy smile, scratching the back of his head, "but I do get that I have to be nice and careful, and just ask him to talk to me. I really want to be friends with him, guys. I know you're going to think I'm nuts, but for some weird reason I really like Vegeta. Maybe that's that royal charm."

"Should I go get some senzu beans, just in case?" Crilin asked with a chuckle, earning an annoyed look from his old training companion.

"That's not very encouraging, you know" Goku whined.

A couple of hours later, halfway through his dinner, Son Goku had to admit that he didn't have any better ideas than before starting to eat. He was about to decide to put off trying to approach Vegeta until the following morning when the saiyan prince walked into the dining room and knelt beside his wife at the traditional table, helping himself to some of the servings without casting a single glance to the astounded faces of the assembled group.

Bulma handed him the soy sauce with a caring smile.

"Sorry we didn't wait for you, 'Geta, you said you wouldn't eat tonight."

"I changed my mind" he replied curtly.

"Try the grilled fish, dear, it's from the river south of here, it's practically alive, delicious."

The saiyan ate even less than the constantly dieting Bulma that night, and the fact could hardly fail to register with his table companions.

"Uhm… Vegeta?" Goku finally called out to him, unable to stand the suspense any more.

"What, Kakaroth?" the prince asked with a studiously neutral tone.

"Could we… uhm…"

He was about to say 'talk' when Vegeta's eyes finally left his still half-eaten first helping and fixed on him with a dangerous flash.

"Could we what, Kakaroth?"

The warning was clear enough: 'act as if anything is out of the ordinary, and I'll kill you' was written all over the older saiyan's face. Fortunately, he could fall on his feet on that one.

"Feel like a post-dinner spar? Just a small thing for the sake of digestion" he rushed to add, sensing Chichi's warning glare on the side of his head.

"I think that our hosts would be rather put off if we damaged their property."

The prince was being difficult on purpose, but Goku wasn't about to let that discourage him.

"There's a perfect, empty spot no more than twenty miles from here, I saw it as we flew in yesterday."

"Get your son to spar you, Kakaroth, I'm not in the mood tonight."

Alright, this was the time to bring out the big guns, like Lunch loved to say. If he wanted to get Vegeta out of his shell, he had to give something in return, and Bulma was right, when it came to fighting they instinctively understood each other. All he needed to do now was to find the right way to say it.

"It's the challenge, remember, Vegeta? Gohan is strong and all, but he doesn't challenge me. You do. You're the one I can never let my guard down with. That's why sparring with you beats sparring with anyone else for me, here or in Otherworld."

Goku knew he'd said the right thing when Vegeta's permanent scowl was momentarily replaced by a look of pure amazement. It lasted far less than the astounded looks he got from the others, but it was there.

"Fine" the prince conceded finally, leaving the rest of the food on his plate as he rose to leave. "I'll go change, wait for me outside."

When his footsteps faded in the distance, Bulma finally cut loose.

"Goku, that was absolutely amazing!" she approved excitedly. "You're doing great, I'm sure you'll be making goods with him within the night!"

The saiyan smiled and nodded.

"I certainly hope so" he said. "Now I'd better get going, I doubt keeping him waiting is a good idea right now. See you later, folks."

"Well, Son, I'd have never guessed you knew how to do flattery" Juhaachi told him with devious smile.

"That's not flattery if it's true, right?" the taller warrior asked with a puzzled face.

"What do you mean, it's true?" Chichi asked. "He can't possibly be stronger than Gohan!"

Goku saw Bulma's belligerent frown, Gohan's embarrassment at Chichi's display of motherly pride, his wife's eagerness to engage into a fight of her own, and rushed to smooth out the situation.

"Sheer strength has nothing to do with it, Chichi. There's only one person in the whole universe who's not my enemy, but that'll give me no quarter in a fight, and that is Vegeta. That's what makes him the best sparring partner I ever had, even if we never did spar very often. I never told him out of pride, I guess in the end I'm more saiyan than even I realized, but tonight I need to talk to him about something important, and this was the only way to get his attention."

Chichi nodded carefully, unsure what her husband meant. Bulma signalled her that she would explain after dinner, so she finally relented.

"Alright, but try not to make too much chaos, you two, understood?"

"We'll try, Chi" her husband promised, bending to kiss her upturned cheek fondly.

"Good luck, man" Yamcha told him as he left.

Vegeta followed his fellow saiyan, flying in silence and trying to fabricate a speech that would pass off for something between an explanation and an apology while still making him come out on top, somehow. It was not an easy feat, unless he wanted to lie his entire way through it, something he was unaccustomed to do.

When they landed, he simply resolved to avoid the confrontation completely, unless Kakaroth pressed him.

"Let's start slow" the younger warrior proposed, stretching arms and legs as warm-up.

Was the bastard reading his mind? The prince wanted to spit some angry retort about wasting time in child's play, but the hypocrisy of the situation turned his stomach. In that empty head of his, Kakaroth was probably thinking that he was being nice and allowing Vegeta some breathing room, and Vegeta would sooner chew his own arm off than let him believe he was conceding something to the prince of all saiyans.

"Stop treating me like an idiot, Kakaroth, unlike you I don't have mush and moss for brains. You didn't take me out here to spar."

The taller fighter grinned embarrassedly.

"Well, I... Ah, saw right through me, didn't you, Vegeta?"

"Yeah, aren't I clever?" the prince asked ironically, rolling his eyes skywards.

"Look, Kakaroth" he continued, with deadly gravity "forget about this morning. It never happened."

The expected refusal to comply was accompanied by a smile and a rueful head shake.

"No can do, Vegeta. I want to understand what happened. You were... well, terribly upset, this morning."

"Oh, and surely having a heart-to-heart with you is just what I need, isn't it? What is it, Kakaroth? Didn't I provide enough entertainment today, or are you looking to use those nursemaid skills of yours to help poor, distraught lil' old me? Didn't you get your good deed in for the day, yet? I am neither your laughing material nor one of your weaklings friends you exchange pats on the back with when you break a nail!"

At that point, Vegeta expected the other saiyan to either try to defend himself, or perhaps to simply insist that he wanted to know the reasons behind the attack he'd been subjected to. He even thought Kakaroth might tell him that he needed to make sure, after what happened at the Tenkaichi Budokai, that Vegeta would never again hurt innocent people. He mentally kicked himself when he realized his imagination was starting to sound suspiciously like a conscience.

"Vegeta..."

"Spare yourself the unpleasantness, Kakaroth, we are not having this conversation. I don't owe you any explanation."

"I don't want an explanation!" the younger saiyan snapped, taking him completely by surprise with an earnestly pained expression. "I just want to know what I did wrong! I obviously did something wrong, and I don't want to risk doing it again, but I can't understand what it is unless you tell me!"

The fight went out of Vegeta like air out of a punctured baloon. Could he possibly have been so blinded by his own sense of inadequacy that he hadn't realized the respect he sought to obtain from the younger saiyan was already his? If that was the case, he could afford to explain what had caused his outburst far less than he had imagined.

"Kakaroth..." he started, trying and failing to find a dignified way to tell his comrade that he'd better never come around him from behind, especially around water.

The other warrior lifted a hand to signal he wanted to add something.

"That wasn't completely honest" Kakaroth admitted with a small smile. "I want to hear everything, the what, how and why, but I can be content with the what if that's all you can give me. And it's not because I want to laugh at you or Dende knows what other reason. I just want to know you better, I guess, or at least avoid annoying you when I can help it."

That did it. The hell with pride. The truth was that Vegeta wanted to tell, and Kakaroth wanted to hear. Fighthing when their intents mirrored one another was a stupid waste of time. The prince had one last reservation left. He hoped he had overestimated Kakaroth's innocence and threw a testing question at him.

"Kakaroth, do you know what drowning is?"

The puzzled, half-comical look he received was proof enough that the younger saiyan was, unfortunately, as naïve as he'd feared.

"You're not telling me you can't swim, right? That's impossible!" the taller warrior asked, barely keeping the laughter from his voice.

"Of course it's impossible, you idiot!" he barked defensively before he could help himself.

"Look here... forget about it" he continued more calmly. "Let's fight or go back to the ryokan, but for the love of the Legendary, never mention what happened again."

"Oh, come on, you can't hold out on me now!" Kakaroth protested fervently. "So something about water makes you nervous, even if you can swim, I get that. Was it the fact that we were close? I know you don't like people standing close to you, was that a part of it? Help me understand, Vegeta."

Vegeta wondered idly if the universe had made him the butt of its jokes. He was the victim, for once. He'd endured the pain, the humiliation and the fear, and Kakaroth was the one he wanted to shield from it all.

Unfortunately, now that the cat was out of the bag, he knew those eyes wouldn't leave him alone until he'd spilled the whole truth and nothing but. Was the fool taking lessons from Bulma, or was it Vegeta who was a little more sensitive to those eyes than he cared to admit?

"No... not completely at least" the prince replied resignedly. "Kakaroth... I'm not talking about drowning as in being afraid to drown because you can't swim. I'm talking about drowning as a form of torture."

As foreseen, the younger fighter's eyes went round, while his jaw dropped in an expression of complete amazement.

"T-torture?" he repeated breathlessly.

"Yes, you moron, torture! Holding someone's head under water until they can't breathe anymore, and they pass out from lack of oxygen, and they feel like they're fucking dying!"

Surprise turned to horror. The younger saiyan unconsciously brought a hand to his throat, as if he was experiencing some breathing difficulties himself. Vegeta was feeling rather sick in turn. The thought of casting the deranged, diseased shadow of his past on the younger saiyan made every fiber of his being revolt.

"What the fuck...? Who did this to you?" Kakaroth asked finally, his voice vibrating with anger.

"The material perpetrator fades from memory" Vegeta replied, trying to fake detachment. "The correct question is 'at whose orders', Kakaroth."

A slight frown crossed Kakaroth's brow, but it took him only a moment before coming to the obvious conclusion.

"You're talking about Freezer, aren't you? But why? I mean, you worked for him, right? Why would he want to do something like that?"

"Worked" he scoffed. "What a nice euphemism. What I did was mass murder, not work, or didn't Radish tell you? I could have refused to do it, but I wouldn't be standing here talking to you if I had. It's called slavery, Kakaroth. I, Vegeta Celer Parsnip, crown heir of the House of Vegeta, prince of all saiyans, have been Freezer's slave for over twenty years. I trust that doesn't come as a complete novelty to you?"

Kakaroth was momentarily sidetracked by first hearing his full royal name, but the distraction didn't work for long.

"It still doesn't make sense" the younger man objected. "Freezer sold the planets you conquered for him, if I remember that part well, why would he risk damaging you?"

"Freezer always kept an eye on profit, but torturing me was not business, it was pleasure. I killed people, Kakaroth, so many that I wouldn't be able to make an estimate even if I tried, but it was a swift, merciful death they found at my hand. Freezer, on the contrary, liked to toy with him victims. My will was strong, all the sweeter for him to break. I made myself the perfect target to him. He always intended to kill me, at some point. He merely entertained himself finding ways to make my agony as drawn out as possible."

Kakaroth dropped to a cross-legged seat on the grassy ground, making a breathless excuse to the prince.

"Sorry, 'Geta, I need to sit down here... This is... it's so much, you know? I... well, I always knew in my heart that you're not a bad person, and that you didn't do what you did because you liked it, but... torture? And it wasn't just the drowning, right? Those scars on your body..."

Vegeta sat opposite to him, adopting a similar posture. Their knees were almost touching; it felt natural and even comfortable at that point. He was spilling things he's never even told his Woman, it was pointless to keep a distance he didn't feel any longer.

"No, it wasn't the only game he played with me, but... it was one of the worst. The signs on my body are not all battle scars, but physical pain is nothing to a saiyan. The drowning thing was more devious. Saiyans do not live well in artificial environments. Even you, raised on Earth as you were, instinctively felt this, and made your home in the wilderness."

The entranced look on the other saiyan's eyes made him want to elaborate a little on that detail.

"You don't remember it, and maybe in this you're lucky. Planet Vegeta was... In all my wandering through the galaxy, I never saw anything like it. It was twice the size of Earth" he recounted in solemn, hushed tones, "a marvel of the skies, with rainforests so luscious and green you can't possibly imagine without having seen them. Over eight billions saiyans lived there. And they were all home for the main festivity in our calendar when Freezer destroyed the planet."

"V-vegeta..." Kakaroth chocked out, a sheen of tears evident in his black eyes.

The prince cleared his throat and went on, mentally chiding himself for the futile sentimentalism. Trying to sound more matter-of-fact, he continued his explanation.

"Being forced to live in space for extended periods of time, bathing was one of the few natural pleasures left to me. He took away my enjoyment of it rather effectively through the drowning. As for this morning, everything was... well, not fine, but under control until you put your hands on my neck. That's when I hit you. I... I'm s-s..."

His mouth was running away with him now, and Vegeta wanted to laugh hysterically for all the times he'd told his Woman to shut the hell up and stuff her sentimental mush in places other than his ears.

"Don't say it" Kakaroth interrupted him. "Please, don't apologize for something like this. Good grief, Vegeta... I feel like such an ass, I don't know what to say. I'll never protest again when you yell at me for being clueless."

"That's entirely different" Vegeta replied, smirking faintly. "These things, you couldn't possibly know, or even guess at."

"Vegeta, I…" the other warrior tried again, fishing for words to probably express the emotion Vegeta dreaded.

"Don't you dare, Kakaroth. Don't you dare pity me. I'd rather do the whole twenty years with Freezer again than have you commiserate me."

His compatriot gave him a look of comical disbelief.

"Pity? Sheesh, Vegeta, now you're the clueless one! Pity you, for managing to remain alive and sane through all that shit? Awe is kinda closer to what I feel right now."

Vegeta absorbed the words, heard their meaning, and decided to believe them, whether they were true or not.

"Alive, yes" he replied with a small grin. "Sane? I'm not so sure about that…"

Kakaroth shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well, sanity isn't a standard requirement in our circle anyway. But, Vegeta… I know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but you need to start opening up a bit. For yourself, to let some of it go, and for us, because it's really frustrating when we see you're upset and we don't know what to do about it. We're your friends, no matter what you think. At least Bulma deserves some preferential treatment, don't you agree? I understand you don't want to tell her this kind of stuff, but you don't need to go into details. Just share a bit more with her, for honesty's sake. She loves you like mad."

Vegeta rose, eyeing the other saiyan ironically.

"Ah, a standard do-gooder's speech, how refreshing. Any other thoughts from your commonplace book?"

The familiar manic grin returned with a vengeance.

"Yeah. I really feel like that spar right now, don't you?"

When Bulma woke up in the morning, the futon beside hers was slept in, but empty. Rubbing sleep off her eyes, she got up and walked to the screen doors that led to the garden, sliding them open to peer through. Vegeta was going through some easy, relaxed morning katas, and she stared for a while, pitying that she'd never gotten the romp she's looked forward to all the day before.

"Hey, handsome" she called out finally. "Care for some breakfast?"

He grabbed a towel out of habit, since he had not broken a sweat at all, and brought his body flush against hers in one of those inhumanly swift movements that made her shudder, and not in surprise or fear.

"Breakfast it is, but you'd better cancel any other plans you've made for the day. You did make me a rather interesting promise, yesterday."

"If you were nice to Goku was the condition, if I remember correctly" she objected maliciously, sensing that whatever had troubled him the day before was gone now.

"I'll show you how nice I can be at breakfast" he replied ominously. "Just watch me."

Bulma shook off the odd sense of foreboding that always accompanied her husband's rare accommodating moments and went to dress.

About thirty minutes later, in front a laden breakfast table, Vegeta piled up a towering amount of food to make up for the previous night and passed the rice to Goku, who was sitting right beside him.

"Good morning, Kakaroth" he said with a pleasant smile.

Several food items fell from open mouths and from chopsticks. The younger saiyan himself was rather baffled by the friendly attitude.

"Uhm, 'morning, 'Geta" he replied after a moment, around a mouthful of food. "Slept well?"

"Not really. You know, something you said last night kept nagging at me."

Goku asked for clarification, feeling self-conscious in the eerie silence. For some odd reason, he was glad that they'd let the children oversleep that morning.

"Oh, yeah? What was it?"

"This whole business of sharing with your wife, being honest with her… it's not really all that easy."

Bulma didn't fall into a dead faint only because she desperately wanted to hear more. Her day was turning more and more supernatural by the second: morning cheer from Vegeta, marital advice from Goku… It all sounded as plausible as knitting lessons with Piccolo.

"Yeah, well… I'm here to help, man" Goku offered, ever the generous soul. "Can I do something to make it simpler?"

"Show me how it's done."

"Sheesh, 'Geta, I can't think of anything, right off the top of my head…"

"I have just the perfect example in mind. I wanted to tell Bulma about it for a while, but never thought I had a good reason to. Now I know I do, and it's all thanks to you, Kakaroth."

"Oh, great! What is it?"

"You remember that time, on the Kaioshins' planet, when the old man started grousing about using the dragonballs to restore Earth?"

"Y-yeah?"

"You remember how you won him over? Promised him some pictures, if memory serves."

"Vegeta, no! Not that one! I mean, man, do you want me dead, again?"

"Do I?"

"GOKU! Come back here and take it like a man!"

"No, Bulma, please! Ouch! It was for the good of the Earth!"

"And your own wife isn't pretty enough for the good of the Earth, you degenerate excuse of a husband!"

"Ahhh, Chichi, I'm sorry!"

"Sweet Dende on toast, Vegeta" Crilin commented, throwing a commiserating look at the younger saiyan, fleeing with the hounds of hell on his heels. "No offence, but I'd rather be your enemy than your friend."

Vegeta flashed him a sadistic grin.

"I promise I'll fly to Karin's tower to get him some senzu if he survives" he conceded haughtingly. "After all, he owes me a back massage."

Many thanks to hopelessly_demented for the first and very nice comment, "novel" is what I consider, by far, the best compliment a fanfic writer can receive, especially in a popular fandom like DBZ.

P.S. I have edited the story to insert horizontal lines to break off narration at scene change, as somebody justly remarked it was confusing ^^