Title:A Tale of Two Men
Characters: Matsuda, Light
Rating:PG
Word Count:1129
Summary: There were once two men. One was true, the other false. A collection of drabbles and ficlets in three arcs.

Notes: This was inspired by an entry I wrote for the dn_contest prompt "Hallucination", which can found here (remove the spaces): http: // community. livejournal. com / dn_contest / 273522 . html # cutid1

PART ONE: MEMORY

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face; now I know in part; but then I shall know even as also I am known.

-1 Cor 13:12, King James Version Bible

I: Meeting

"Hello, Matsuda. This is my son, Light. He's been very helpful on a few cases we've had trouble with."

"Hello, Light. We've heard a lot about you. Nice to meet you in the flesh!"

"That's very kind of you, Matsuda-san." A warm smile, a warm handshake. "I hope we can work together someday."

Matsuda is instantly charmed.

II: Bond

Yagami-san goes red and sputters at the sight of the porn stash. Matsuda only grins when he hears about it and grins wider at Yagami-san's scandalized expression.

To him, it proves that Light isn't clockwork perfect, some mechanical person like L with his numbers and deadly whirring brain. It's really the small things that bring out the human side.

III: Trust

"I may be Kira," Light says. Guilt, terror, shame—they chase each other across his open face, and Matsuda watches with equal parts fascination and horror.

"The truth is…I had hoped that some of those criminals would die," Light continues. "No, not just criminals. There are a lot of people that I wished would just die…"

"Light!" He can't keep quiet for a second longer and see Light beat himself up for not being perfect. It's not right, it's not fair. "I think of that sometimes too. It's normal to think like that! What matters is that we'd never actually act on those impulses!"

But the air is thick with distrust and suspicion, and the fledging hope in Light's eyes dies, newborn.

Still, as they lead him away in handcuffs, Light smiles at him and says, "Thank you."

And Matsuda glows.

IV: Friendship

Intellectually, he knows that the fall won't kill him. It's still terrifying as hell.

But it's all worth it to see Light's relief afterwards: "You should be safe from Yotsuba now, Matsuda-san."

V: Faith

Matsuda knows that it's wrong.

Outside the world holds its breath, waiting for the next heart attack, for the hand of God to reach down from the heavens and strike the next criminal dead. It is a time of fear and repentance. "The world is ending," say the would-be foretellers on street corners and Internet forums; they say that next it will be the world, crowded with filth and sin, that will receive the touch of Kira's curse/blessing.

But he is almost happy, inside this haven that L has made for them; Matsuda fancies (thanks to too many hours spent on manga) themselves to be superheroes in their secret base, working against the shadowy bad guy. Here, Kira seems far away, rendered impotent against the shared confidence of Light and L. They work like two halves of a whole, leaping off each other's genius to ever higher heights. Once, he walked in on them, firing thoughts at one another and fitting them together like pieces in a jigsaw. They didn't even notice him.

Humbled, he had snuck back out and thought, He can't possibly be Kira.

The chain is the only flaw in the overall picture, like an off-tune note in an otherwise masterful song. It's all one big misunderstanding, and Matsuda has faith that one day it will be taken off.

Truth always has a way of revealing itself, in the end.

VI: Dust

Matsuda is jubilant. Kira (who is most definitely not Light) is in chains, the result of everyone's hard work. His murder weapon is in the hands of L. The police department is ready to welcome them back with open arms. He wonders if the team will be up for a late-night celebration…

Then Higuchi screams and spasms, and Matsuda's dreams all turn to dust.

VII: Crucible

"If I were to die, will Light-kun take up the name of L?"

"Don't say things like that…we'll catch Kira for sure."

The illusion of invincibility is just that: an illusion. In retrospect, L's words echo with the weight of prophecy.

"Everyone…the reaper…"

L pauses. The spoon drops from his too-still fingers. The gentle tinkle it makes on the tabletop can barely be heard under the crash as Light lunges forward, hits the floor before the falling man.

"Ryuzaki! Say something…something, anything!"

The world slows down, suspended in an unholy tableau splashed with red. Matsuda presses his hands against his head, as though he can shut out the sound of Light's screams, shut out the reality in which L is dead.

It was supposed to be over.

VIII: Promise

Matsuda waits for the agony to flare up his chest, for his breathing to cut off in gasps and froth. He measures the space between his heartbeats and panics if he thinks the time too long.

His heart beats, beats, beats, strong steady and true. Not like L's heart, stopped forever and ever and—

Stop it.

"Why are we still alive?" Aizawa asks. They look at each other, and their eyes are afraid. Matsuda has never felt so fragile before, understanding as he does now the entirety of his dependence upon that pulsing lump of flesh in his hot and hollow chest. L, for all his brilliance, his dangerous and ticking mind, had died just like the others: betrayed by his own body.

"I'll avenge Ryuzaki's death," Light declares, seemingly uncaring that Kira has invaded their haven, might be watching, listening, gloating at this very moment. "Only by solving this case, can I bid him farewell…" He bows his head, shadows in his eyes. "To Watari as well, and to the other victims…This is for everyone."

He speaks softly, with determination; he's the hero of this story and he knows it. They are lost and adrift after the storm and he is the only light in a very dark future. His father speaks, emotion choking up his voice. "Light…"

"But we will end up dead for sure," Matsuda cries, terrified that at any moment Light, too, will die for his transgression. "What happened today means…surely…"

Light looks up and gives Matsuda the coldest look he has ever seen. "Matsuda-san, if you are afraid of getting killed, then I suggest you leave…this team only consists of people who are willing to risk their lives."

Matsuda's face burns with shame. "I'm not quitting, of course!"

Later he truly understands the magnitude of his debt to Light, because if not for him he might have given up then and there, spent the rest of his life in fear of the looming shadow of Kira, in guilt for the people he failed to save.

Light reminded him that life is all about fighting back.

Like knights to their lord they swear allegiance to the vision that Light offers.

-end of Part One-