Materioptikon here. Together with this new stuff I deliver the new Madhouse chapter. I just thought that it was somewhat ridiculous nobody had tried to lampoon the obvious similarities between the two gunslingers here. I own no concept or characters. I do own, however, the idea of the Multiverse Engine and of this crossover. For anybody interested, just like Alucard's Bird of Hermes comes from the Ripley Scroll, Seras' True speech comes from the Emerald Tablet. To understand the FFVII part it is extremely unlikely you will need more than watching the movie.

Please, review. Ego-blooming reviews might convince me to upload more and more often. Honestly, d'ya all realize how utterly delightful reviews can be?

In Battersea Power Station, a veritable army of scientists and technicians struggled to assemble and bring online a massive metallic arch, powered by the whole might of the station's new and heavily improved generators. In itself, the metal thing was reminiscent of Rodin's Gates of Hell, with the single details of having multiple devices resembling Tesla coils propping out of the main structure and having doors emblazoned with circuitry. Numerous desks filled with electronic stations and various gadgets surrounded the device, each monitored by its own technician.

A deafening blast roared across the building. Nobody actually expected the thing to work, let alone so quickly.

The first technician to recover made a beeline for the phone. The boss would like to see the device activated.

"Sir? The thing works."

Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing was not an uneducated woman. While she had never actually set foot in an actual school, she had had countless tutors and preceptors across the years and had been successfully taking government-regulation exams for years. She had a very strong inclination towards mathematics, which came in handy while managing the economics of her organization, and held a slight, occasional interest on physics, capably handing topics such as grand unified theories of everything, the works of Max Planck and relativity.

And still, the technology of the Arch was way beyond anything she ever hoped to comprehend.

That insane Doktor had the mind of a Poincaré, a Bohr, and Heaven knows who else. She almost regretted his death.

But on to business, the piece of technology in question, the Multiverse Gate, had been successfully recovered from the flaming debris of the Deus Ex Machina, and as soon as its function was clear, Integra had it moved to Hellsing command. The data reels relating to the Gate indicated Avondale Napyeer had pierced the barrier between universes while keeping damage to a minimum, through a form of sifting through the dimensional walls rather than shattering them, a form of travel useful in developing the living quantum anomaly known as Schrodinger, whose data reel had been unfortunately been incinerated in the zeppelin's wreckage, along with that of the Werwolf team's. With the data gleaned from the blood left by Alucard in the shape of the immense Hellsing seal at the site of his vanishing, various points kept marking his presence through the Multiverse.

But the device had a rather intrinsic flaw- it couldn't exactly pinpoint his location. At best, it could relay points in time and space where he had left his trail.

Typical of him not to remain in one point. The git had to be desperate to return.

Much to her disdain, she realized only one agent she commanded held the necessary qualities to find and rein back her servant and lover.

And so, her second prize agent was elected unanimously to venture forward into the unknown for the sake of the most powerful vampire ever.

"Do you think it is a wise decision, Sir Integra? Leaving you like this?"

Her single eye fixed on the vampire. Retreating with an enormous sweatdrop in her forehead, the Draculina hurriedly started talking, with:

"I-I didn't mean to say you're not a fit leader, Sir! I'm just worried about the Convention guys, and you and the Queen..."

Integra raised her fist.

"Seras. I appreciate your concern, but the Queen and I are fairly well. Armies were mobilized. Jaburo lies in ashes. New Convention members, fresh from Eton and Oxford, naive, stupid and new to the power games of the Convention, are no match for a Hellsing of old. And with Sir Irons and the Queen at my side, all new ten members could rise against me and be crushed before they could lift a finger. London is secured, and its survivors have been taken care of in hospitals as far as Surrey and Scotland."

Staring out of a window, Integra caressed the silver handle of her walking stick. She had long mastered the habits necessary to function at peak efficiency with one eye, but she kept the thing for the simple reason it offered a perfectly good blunt weapon should she need it. Not to mention the old-school air of command it transmitted.

"You miss him, don't you?"

"Don't you?"

"Huh! Well, of course, Sir! I'm just saying I think that if we just leave him, eventually he's going to return!"

"Eventually, Police Girl, is a word we Hellsings don't like. While the war drums have fallen silent, to believe the undead are no more is as naive as is to believe Alucard is dead. While their numbers have now dwindled, they still wait and hope in the shadows for a day when all humanity can be served at their tables. No offense to your already impressive battle capabilities and experience, but you are but a newborn in the eyes of the vampires of old, and while they are intimidated by the fact you are your Master's blood childe, their respect can only be earned the way your Master treated every other vampire he came across. His experience is still invaluable and the Gate has been tested countless times to ascertain its usefulness with excellent results every time. You have nothing to fear."

"Sir! We've identified the world where the signal's currently beaming from! Earth-class planet, human culture!"

"Excellent. And fear not, Police Girl. It will be only two weeks and all Hellsing tricks and subterfuges have been used to convince any prying eyes that you are on a mission to clean up the remains of the Tube for exclusive Hellsing usage."

"All right. Just...be careful, okay?"

Integra smiled.

"When am I not, Police Girl?"

Seras was directed to a room where she changed clothes from her usual Hellsing officer attire into a lighter combination of a black tank top, dark pants, combat boots and a glaringly red leather overcoat.

"Well, at least if I run into Master he's going to hurry to beat me up for stealing his color scheme."

Rummaging through the pockets, she found the coat had an incorporated gun holster-one filled with a personalized Jackal model and plenty of ammunition. The side inscription, rather than a copy of Alucard's, read True, without Error, Certain and Most True. Seras smiled upon heaving the heavy gun in her hand, testing its weight and quickness. Sliding it back into the holster, she walked out of the room and into the Engineering area. In the way there she was handed a small refrigerated satchel containing enough concentrated plasma to feed her for the length of the journey and one of the engineers gave her a "compass" of sorts designed to lead her to the signal her Master let behind. Another technician slipped her a packet of gold coins to trade for local currency.

Before her the Multiverse Gate opened as a light shaft covering the circuitry in the door proper. The third eye revealed a possible path before her, one leading to her Master.

Integra, from not too far away, smiled and waved.

Seras smiled back. Undaunted, she ran and jumped into the light.

In the grassy plains near the Chocobo Farm, a rectangle of light opened up and a figure in red leapt out.

Seras rose and saw the night sky.

Gaia welcomed the dimensional tourist with a spectacular view of her night sky.

The next welcome was a Tonberry poking her with his knife.

Seras managed to drag herself to the nearest building. The Tonberry she had eaten had barely been able to reconstruct the impressive amount of damage such a tiny thing could do. She idly wondered whether her master would have liked picking a fight with the tiny creatures. As she progressed, some of the local fauna, and even some of the flora, confronted her, but she effortlessly shrugged off their attacks, only killing them when no other option was available to her.

She did, however, scare away an impressive amount of Chocobos from her location.

"Oh? Adventurers? Gramps! A girl adventurer came!"

"Eh?"

"Oi, 'allo, miss! 'Scuse the young 'uns! Not many gents pass through 'ere nowadays!"

"Oh. Just... I'm not an adventurer. I'm just...a police girl."

The two children nearby groaned and retreated into the cabin of sorts.

"Ah. Say, what brings you over to our Farm?"

"Oh. See..."

She racked her brain for a good lie.

"I...got lost. Can you point me out to the nearest town?"

"Oh. A bus comes 'round today. Could leave you in Kalm. Won't take long, too."

"Hmm. And from there, to any major city?"

"To Edge, ya mean? Multiple buses daily. Both cities are like hand n' glove."

Close to a major city. Good.

The sound of a roaring engine approaching distracted her.

"An' here it comes! G'day to you, miss!"

Walking towards the bus, she noticed one of the huge birds in the corral beside her was insistently scratching and preening its neck.

"Hey there. You got something stuck?"

The bird approached the fence, allowing Seras to scratch it.

"Hey, what's this?"

In a small clump in the Chocobo's neck, a small red piece of something had been bothering the bird. It immedately had shaken off, stared at Seras and promptly proceeded to continue on its way with the others in the corral.

"There you go. No more red thingy!"

Thinking nothing of the small piece of red material, she slipped it into her pocket and walked to the bus.

Fortunately, she could cloak her presence from the bus driver and effortlessly hide in one of the unoccupied seats.

Unfortunately, the bus broke down halfway to Kalm.

Of course, still being the wee hours of the morning, she had little problem with escaping and running towards the horizon. She noticed, slightly annoyed, that there would be little cover for the oncoming sunlight. It took her quite a bit of effort to find a small glen, secluded enough from the main road to ensure she would not be bothered, where wild animals were few and far in between and where she would have enough coverage from the rising sun to sleep until it was lower in the sky, allowing her more freedom of movements. By then, daybreak was imminent and there was little point in going onwards.

Curling in the shade of the glen, she prepared for the cool embrace of death. Or as close as a vampire could reach while sleeping.

Four people in dark blue suits descended from a chopper, not four hours since Seras had stopped for her sleep.

They had a mission, and it involved dangers and risks.

Not many of those in the days running rampant, but you get the point.

"Yo. Boss, you sure this is the place?"

Tseng sighed.

"Yes, Reno. Now come on, we need to collect those samples before the scientists at Edge start making a fuss about lateness."

Saluting in an over-the-top gesture, the two-man team of Reno and Rude of the Turks went into the glen armed with small buckets and shovels to load up topsoil samples.

"Dude, we were trained to defend Shinra from anything. We helped, in our own inimitable way, to defeat Seph in two different occassions. An' they have nothing better for us to do than do some fancy scientific gardening? Seriously, yo? I'm gonna complain to Rufus."

"..."

"Like you enjoy it, partner. Don't tell me you don't miss the old days where the Turks saw real action!"

"...what to do about it?"

"...good question."

Elsewhere, a blonde in the same suit type hovered around, fleeting from one spot to another, wondering whether the spots she selected were ideal to the task at hand.

"This one? No, that one!"

Then she gasped. Hurriedly running to the side of the strawberry blonde, she placed two fingers upon her neck. No breathing, no heartbeat. Body was quite cold to the touch. The honey-blonde took out her communicator, pressed the button and spoke:

"Leader? We have a situation here."

"Explain, Elena."

"We got a corpse here."

"Uhhh...?"

Elena did the only sane, rational thing she could do. She screamed her lungs out.

"Really, I'm very sorry for mistaking you for dead, miss Victoria."

"No problem. I'm just very cold."

"Lucky you I found you! My partners are around, gathering topsoil samples, and I thought I could probably help you around!"

Seras really didn't want to read Elena's memories, but she seemed positively insistent on broadcasting her every thought.

"Hey... you're security forces, aren't you?"

"Yep! The Turks, that's us! We're elite, the best of the best!"

"And so, you know a lot about local guys, don't you?"

"Yeah, sure! We Turks kinda have to, to get around these days!"

"All right. See, I'm searching for a gunslinger. Likes to wear red."

"That sounds like Valentine."

Seras sighed in frustration. She had to be a lot more specific if she wanted to find her master.

"No, no. This one has black hair and red eyes."

"Valentine."

Sigh.

"No. The gunslinger I'm looking for carries immense weapons only he can fire, because of their immense weight."

"Valentine."

Seras stopped for a moment.

"Doubtful past, questionable sanity?"

"Yep."

"Insanely powerful in combat, frankly supernatural abilities?"

"Yeah."

"Hands always covered with gloves of some sort?"

"Uh-huh."

"Powers that border on the demonic?"

"His transformations, you mean?"

Seras had heard enough. She pulled a mental image of this Valentine man from Elena's mind. While she did not immediately recognize the man with his sickly pale skin tone, she imagined her master's demented grin and serrated teeth superimposed upon the image, minus the high collar, and immediately got her answer.

"Where do I find this Valentine man?"

Just after she finished her request, the sounds of combat reached the chopper.

Reno cursed with every expletive he had ever learnt. Considering he had grown in the Midgarian slums, it was a rather impressive list, but it would have garnered much more attention had he and his team not been attacked by a triad of Shadow Creepers that moment. One had unexpectedly appeared from the spot he had chosen to gather his mound of topsoil and from there it had snowballed into a full-blown confrontation with the things. Tseng, Rude and he were holding their own, but the things were nothing if not persistent and there was a serious likelihood the fight would not fully end in their favor.

Unexpectedly, three shots from a weapon he couldn't identify rang.

All three Shadow Creepers fell, and he stared into the barrel of the Jackal Seras wielded.

"Yo. Nice gun."