In Another Life... by PersianFreak

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Charlaine Harris. Please don't sue.

Rating: M

Spoilers: None

A/N: For the last chapter, I switched to present-tense because... well, I had reasons but most of them are this feeling I have that said it would be appropriate.

Thanks once again to all you wonderful people who read this story and took the time to write me a little something to let me know you enjoyed it. I'm thinking I will be writing drabble pieces and one-shots in this 'verse, but later! Any last comments are very much appreciated =]

Eric, Sookie soon discovers, has no intentions of going back to Shreveport after his father's death. It leads to their first fight because Eric sees no need to go back considering his father had filled out a pre-need with a funeral home, which meant that all arrangements had already been made and all costs had been covered previous to his death.

"Eric, the man was your father!" Sookie tries to keep her frustration under control.

Eric leans back on the couch and regards her, "And do you want to know when I last spoke to my father? The day we drive to California."

Sookie gapes at him, "You haven't been home since then?! Eric!"

"What, it made no difference to him; he knew where I was, he knew how to contact me."

"How can you be sure?"

Eric rolls his eyes, "He had my number."

"I meant how can you be sure that it made no difference to him?" She asks quietly, watching his calm demeanour maintain itself.

"I'm sure." He tells her firmly, "He stopped giving a shit once he discovered the magic of vodka. I had to live with him, remember?" Sighing, Sookie gets off the couch.

"Well, I'm flying back."

Frustration flashes across his handsome features, "Why?" He stands up as well, towering over her, "He was nothing to you; why go back?"

"He was my neighbour," she argues stubbornly. "He was my boyfriend's dad. He deserved someone to take a little care of him now that he's gone."

Smirking bitterly, Eric asks, "You gonna bring back his ashes to California?"

"I'll figure something out. Maybe I will."

All remaining traces of humour now gone from his features, he snaps, "It's none of your business. It's not your place, Sookie!"

"You're right," Sookie retorts. "It's not my place. It's yours because no matter how shitty he was at it, he was still your dad and he deserved an ounce of respect." She realizes she's yelling and reins herself in, "Now, are you gonna put on your big girl panties and come with me to Louisiana or are you going to stay here and hold a grudge against a dead man?" Eric's jaw twitches and he glares at her, Sookie not backing down the slightest bit until his eyes cool by several degrees.

"Fine. Whatever."

"Thank you." Sookie feels herself relaxing even as Eric throws himself back on the couch and flicks on the TV, pointedly ignoring her. "It'll be good for you." No response. "I know you miss him, Eric. You can't lie to me."

"No, Sookie," he turns towards her, still sitting. "I don't miss him. I missed him when my mom died and he crawled inside a bottle. I missed him when I was going to school, I missed him when I fell in love for the first time and needed someone to tell. But not anymore. He might have as well died thirteen years ago."

"You don't mean that," she tries.

"Don't I?"

"No, because if you truly didn't care, then you wouldn't have fallen apart when you found out, and I've never seen you like that before."

His eyes, now shuttered, regard her, "I didn't fall apart."

"Don't insult my intelligence, Eric," she snaps. "And don't underestimate how well I know you."

"I don't want to talk about this," he turns back towards the TV.

"Eric," she begins but he cuts her off, his voice barely controlled.

"This isn't up for discussion, Sookie." He sees her open her mouth and continues, "Don't push it." Sookie closes her mouth and stands bolted to the spot, unsure of what to do. As if sensing her hesitance, Eric pats the cushion and Sookie carefully claims the seat next to his. "We can fly out this weekend," he mutters sullenly, eliciting a grin from Sookie who crosses her legs and lets the top one brush his. Tightening an arm around her waist, Eric kisses her hair and she tucks her head under his chin, satisfied with her one victory for the day.

***

"No, I can't take off work!" Sookie laughs good-naturedly, the phone trapped between her shoulder and ear while she makes a left turn.

"Why not?" Eric complains.

"Because I called in sick last Saturday and I can't do that again."

"It's ridiculous that you have to work Saturdays anyways," he scoffs, reminding her once again that he hates her job. Sookie works at Merlotte's Bar & Grill on Birch Street, just a few blocks from both her house and the university where she is now absorbed in the process of achieving a master's degree in psychology. It has been nearly six months since Eric showed up, unannounced, at Sookie's graduation and just as long since the day Sookie and Eric got back together.

"I rarely work Saturdays," she reminds him patiently. "And when I do, I appreciate it because I get good tips on Saturdays."

There's a silence on the other end of the line, "So what am I supposed to do?" He had been planning on driving down for the weekend, like he did at every chance he got. "I was going to come down and see you. There's no point in it if you're going to be working all weekend."

"It's not all weekend, it's just..." Sookie stops herself and takes a deep breath. She likes her boss; he treats her well and it warms Sookie up to him whenever he gives her a weekend shift. It's one of the reasons why she has not quit despite the fact that she could probably find a job more suitable to her chosen field of studies, but seeing Eric, especially considering how rare it happens, should take priority over good tips. Besides, she knows Eric hates how often she gets hit on working and she can hear the disappointment in his voice so she relents. "Alright, just... let me see what I can do, okay? I'll ask to switch my shift to Thursday."
"It's okay, it's not a big deal." Eric's tone is cool.

"Don't sulk, okay? I want to see you - I miss you - I just wasn't thinking straight," she cajoles quietly into the phone.

There is a sigh, "Fine, fine. But it's not fair to yourself if you put your career before your love life." The last part is teasing, his voice turning playful.

"This coming from the guy who is going to the other side of the world to fight as a career," Sookie retorts.

"I do that for the future of our children," he responds mildly.

"Our children?" She asks quietly.

"Our hypothetical children," he corrects himself.

"You don't want children?"

"I... don't know," he admits.

Sookie pulls into her driveway, "That means no."

"I don't like having this conversation when I can't see your face," Eric complains.

She turns the car off but makes no move to get out, her hands anxiously tapping on the steering wheel as she says, "Well, too bad," not unkindly. "So, kids?"

Groaning in frustration, Eric finds the words, "I don't know, Sook. Maybe someday? My future is kind of uncertain right now."

"You're a Marine, your future is always uncertain. Are you really gonna put everything on hold because of it?" Sookie can almost imagine him rubbing his eyes and running his hand through his hair. When he speaks, his voice is quiet, almost strained.

"No." He pauses, "Sook, you're the only person I could ever imagine having kids with, but not in the near future. Are you implying you want to try now?"

Sookie suddenly realizes that she is grinning at the windshield. "No, I just wanted to know that you want the same things as me."

"Do I?"

"Yes."

"Do I get a prize?" He sounds suspiciously hopeful.

"I'm a pretty big prize, aren't I?"

"Eh." Sookie laughs out loud and shakes her head as she reaches for her purse.

"Shut up."

"So I'm forgiven?" He has to make sure and she confirms it. "Good," he sighs in relief. "I was starting to think I was digging myself into a hole."

Having gotten what she wanted, Sookie finally steps out of her car. "You were, but you talked yourself out." She hears Eric close a door and then hears a pop can being opened.

"I do try to keep you happy."

"You make me sound like such a high-maintenance girlfriend!" She complains, waving at Amelia and hurrying to her room to throw herself on the bed.

There's a faint chuckle, "You're not. It's why I love you."

Pausing for a moment, Sookie can only say, "I know."

"Oh, come on, you can talk about having kids with me but you won't admit you love me?" He sounds more incredulous than unhappy and Sookie smiles.

"Admit? Who said I even love you?" She teases.

"Everyone loves me," he informs her seriously and she scoffs. "Don't even try to deny it. I'm a catch."

"You are pretty good in bed," Sookie admits.

"I'm great in bed."

"Well, you're clearly far too awesome to even need my love, so what's the problem?"

"Ah, but you see, it's nice to hear it anyways." Sookie can't bring herself to say anything but suddenly notices how sweaty her hands have gotten.

"Eric," she says quietly and hears him sigh.

"It's okay. I've got time, I can wait."

Sookie fiddles with the button on her jeans, "Are you sure you want to?"

"I have to remind you again that I want you?"

Yes. No. Maybe. "It just seems like a waste to have to wait for me to say I love you. I mean..." She sighs, deeply, "I don't know what I mean. Remind me again why you're okay with this?"

"Because," he pulls the E, "I'd rather be with you and have you not say you love me than not be with you."

She has to take a second to calm her heart before saying, "The irony of it isn't lost on me, by the way."

He laughs, his voice reverberating wonderfully through the line, "The irony of you being the first to say it the last time around?"

"Yeah," she smiles at the warmth in his voice.

"Well, good! Now go to your room and think about what you've done."

Sookie glances at her alarm clock, "Okay, dad!" They say good-bye not long after, Sookie practically skipping downstairs to see whether or not it's her night to make dinner.

"It is, but I decided to give you a break." Tatiana smiles at her, "Mel and I already ate though. Sorry, we weren't sure when you'd be home." Sookie, surprised at the sudden kindness, absently notes that Tatiana really does have her moments. Her random acts of kindness is probably the only reason Sookie is not entirely fed up with her yet, so she smiles and apologizes, thanking the other girl as she helps herself to some of the meatloaf and the mashed potatoes from the fridge. While waiting for the microwave timer to beep, she makes small talk with Tat who sits with her at the dinner table and they actually share a decent conversation, talking about work and life and Tat's relationship with Mel, who has gone out to run some errands. Sookie finds herself sharing her inability to say the three magic words to Eric and finds Tat entirely sympathetic of her, telling her that if she doesn't feel it, then she doesn't feel it but that there's obviously more to it, considering how Sookie acts towards Eric.

"What do you mean?" Sookie asks, frowning a little.

Tat taps her hands on the table, not impatiently, "Well, I mean, you're together, aren't you? And you seem pretty smitten with him. You didn't show half as much interest in Andrew." Is that why your sister decided to make out with him? Sookie almost asks but stops herself, choosing instead to nod. "So there's gotta be something to him, especially since he's willing to drive ten hours for you every chance he gets and whatnot."

"He'll get deployed again," Sookie murmurs, the truth of it hitting her right then and she gasps quietly to herself. "I don't even know what to say. Like, how am I supposed to react knowing that he could die?"

"I can't say I know what that's like, but sounds to me like you're just supposed to be there for him," Tat tells her kindly, smiling.

Sookie scoffs, "I have to be selfless?"

Laughing, her friend nods, "I think that's the right word. But I'm sorry that you have to deal with that, Sookie. It must really suck."

"Thanks, Tat," Sookie smiles sadly. "It does suck. It would suck less if I could just make up my mind about whether or not I love him, but this will have to do, I suppose."

There's a pause before Tat stands up. "Well, it sounds like you've got some thinking to do. I'm gonna go do some reading."

"Okay, thanks for dinner."

"It was no problem," she waves her hand dismissively but stops halfway out the kitchen door. "Hey Sook?"

"Yes?"

"I know you never quite warmed up to me, even though we've been living together for two years, but you mean the world to Amelia and she means the world to me, so I hope that we're... okay." Amelia must have spoken to her about her sister, Sookie thinks and considers the other girl's words for a moment before smiling, "I guess I feel the same way, but we can work on that. We have plenty of time."

"Good," Tat grins and then waves, the sound of her feet on the stairs dying out to leave the house silent and lonely.

***

Sookie opens the door early Friday evening and grins, pulling Eric into her arms. He goes, not unwillingly, but his body is stiff.

"What?" Sookie pulls back, "What is it?" Eric hands her the envelope, still not offering any words as Sookie rips it open and reads the letter, glancing past the preamble and focusing on the gist of the letter, on the dates and time period provided in the clinical, black text. He stands in front of her as she reads it a second time, and then a third, lowering the pieces of paper and watching the orange sheen of the setting sun on her bare legs, on Eric's Converse-clad feet, and absorbing the sounds of a baseball game a couple of blocks away in Peers Park.

"Fourteen months?" She finally voices the thought resonating horribly in her head and looks up, meeting his eyes. "I'm not going to see you for fourteen months?" He gives no indication that he heard her and continues to watch her as if trying to gauge her mood. "Starting in a month, I won't be seeing you for over a year," she murmurs almost to herself, wondering what this cruel joke was that was being played on her. When the first tear splashes onto her shirt, it surprises him as much as it does her and he takes a step forward.

"Nonono, don't cry," he reaches out and Sookie stumbles back a bit, the letter still clenched in her hand. Eric pulls her into his arms regardless and she buries her face in his chest, shedding her tears quietly. "Please stop crying, Sookie."

"I'm not crying," she mutters defiantly, sniffling, and Eric smiles.

"Then stop leaking," he teases and Sookie laughs, tightening her arms around his waist. "I have leave for the next four weeks."

Tilting her head back, she kisses his mouth and lets it deepen. "So are you staying with me?"

Eric sucks on her lip briefly then nuzzles her nose, "Is that okay?"

Nodding, she murmurs, "I'm not letting you go anywhere."

"I'm yours." He bends to claim her mouth once again, and she leads him into the house.

***

Sookie loves waking up tangled in the sheets, tangled in Eric.

Eric always sprawls like he flopped on the bed and passed out before he had the chance to make himself comfortable, curl up like Sookie always does when she sleeps alone. But Eric dominates every space he is in, so the bed is no different. In her queen-sized bed, Eric's right arm hangs to the floor while the other is thrown over Sookie's stomach, his head turned away from her and buried in the pillow. Sookie gently pushes his arm off and kisses his bicep, closing her eyes and breathing in Eric's warm scent, the faint mixture of his cologne and soap and sweat. Eric mumbles something and turns his head to hers, smiling drowsily. Not yet fully awake, his smile is warm and vulnerable like it used to be when they were kids; it's that rare smile that Sookie fell in love with.

"Hi," she coos, smoothing his hair back and leaning in for a kiss. His arm hooks around her waist this time and brings her closer, his lips invitingly soft.

"Did you sleep well?" She makes a sound of assent and smiles when he moves on top her, continuing the roll until Sookie is on top of him in the middle of the bed. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she leans down and kisses him, the kiss deepening when Sookie rocks her hips into his, smirking at how hard he already is. Eric bites at her bottom lip, drawing her mouth to his again until Sookie lifts her hips and impales herself on Eric. Still not breaking away from his lips, she establishes a torturously slow rhythm, her hands scrabbling for purchase on his muscular shoulders.

"Christ," Eric groans, fingernails digging into her hips as he tries to exert some level of control on the way Sookie is, by all means, fucking him. He tries to roll her over, to gain back his position, so to speak, but Sookie half-smiles and refuses to oblige. Digging her knees into the mattress, she takes his arms and pins them above his head. A part of her mocks her for thinking she can hold Eric down, but considering how distracted he is by the feeling of his own cock sliding into her at a speed he can't adjust, Eric doesn't manage to push her way. It's just as well, really, because Sookie can see his eyes almost glow the way they do when his climax is building. She buries him as deeply as she can inside herself and swallows his guttural sounds, letting a few noises escape her own throat as her mind begins to go fuzzy with want and she speeds up, her movements growing more rough as she grinds him into her sweet spot, whimpering a little at how good he feels no matter how many times they do this. Well, not this specifically because Sookie has never taken control like this, but the novelty of it is just that much more arousing to them both.

"I'm going to miss you so much," she chokes out and bites into her lip.

"Still here," he groans, his hands struggling to be free, to touch. She wants to say that he won't be in three weeks, that he'll be in some desert with a gun and only other guys with guns as company but her breaths are becoming more and more shallow as her muscles tighten and she squeezes her eyes shut, crying out his name as she climaxes. "Fuck." She pushes down onto him and Eric's climax hits him right after, a groan wrenching itself from his throat and his hands relaxed by the time she releases them.

"Christ, Sookie. Jesus Christ." Eric's fingers brush up and down her back, moving to the front to graze her hips before gently pulling her into him. She goes willingly, her eyes closed when she tucks her head against his neck. Mind still hazy from her orgasm, Sookie surrenders to Eric's attempts at rolling on top of her and sighs his name when he settles his body between her still-weak legs. "So fucking hot," he mutters into the skin of her chest, shimmering with sweat like his. Sookie teases his hair with her hands when he rests his head in the valley of her breasts and stares up at the ceiling, trying to soften the bitter edges of whatever is in the air with the post-coital contentment practically spilling out of Eric.

"I wish you would stay."

Eric nuzzles her breast and whispers, "I won't be gone forever."

"Then why does it feel like forever?" She challenges, struggling to hold back the tears, "Why do I feel like I'm going to lose you again? Why can't I just have you stay with me without having to worry about you leaving?" She's rapidly unravelling, coming undone right in front of his eyes.

"Hey," he tries to soothe her when the tears fall. "Hey, hey." Somehow they're both sitting up, Sookie in his lap, wrapped in his strong arms.

"I'm so tired of you leaving." Sookie chokes and digs her fingernails in his shoulders as if causing him pain would make his stay permanent.

"I'll be back," he promises. "I always come back to you, Sookie."

"But why do you have to leave in the first place?"

He smiles, the back of his hand brushing her jaw, "Would you love me if I was an accountant? Or a lawyer?" His tone shows his clear disdain towards both professions and Sookie doesn't even bother pointing out how she has yet to tell him she loves him. "You love me because of how I am, and that includes being a Marine," he says with absolute confidence when she doesn't respond. "Just like I wouldn't love you if you were some spineless little girl who didn't fight with me at every step of the way."

"So what, it's romance?" She snaps, wiping her tears, "You breaking my heart over and over again is your way of keeping me hooked?" Eric doesn't seem to have an answer for that and she feels satisfaction flood through her in the millisecond before he speaks again.

"Marry me."

Sookie freezes, her entire body going cold at the sudden proposal, "Why?"

"This is my way of protecting your heart." He smiles in that disarming way of his, "I've learned from my mistakes, Sookie."

"I haven't even told you I love you," she muses, confused.

"I don't need you to," he shrugs.

"We don't even live in the same town, Eric. How are we going to get married?"

Eric's face falls, ever so slightly. "We'll make it work."

"How?" Sookie can't help but prod, "I'm not willing to transfer and God knows you can't exactly move. You're going to get deployed and I'm going to be here for at least another three years. How are we going to make this work?"

He thinks about that without taking his eyes off of her, his blue eyes flicking from feature to feature. When he speaks, his voice is quiet, the vulnerability almost tangible. "Don't let me leave without having you."

"I love you." Sookie exhales, a smile tugging at her lips with the relief of the admission. "And you do have me, baby. It's not like I'm going to find somebody else the minute you get deployed."

"Then we'll just have a long engagement," he suggests, thumb teasing her bottom lip.

Smiling, she kisses his thumb and then his mouth. "Be engaged to you?" She tries out the words, imagines what it would be like to replace boyfriend with fiancée and eventually husband. Imagines their house, imagines kids and driving to soccer practice and Christmas dinners... and then imagines long stretches of time without him, imagines loneliness.

Tries to imagine someone else in Eric's place and fails.

"You want to try that one again?" She asks quietly, meeting his gaze with a shy smile. Eric takes his time, smoothing back her hair and kissing her nose, brushing her cheekbone with his thumb before tilting her chin down to kiss her again.

"Sookie Stackhouse, will you marry me?"

"Yes."

***

Sookie gasps awake a few days later and bolts upright in bed, slowly realizing that she's home and that Eric is watching, fingers uncertainly stroking her arm.

"Bad dream?" He sits up next to her. She nods and meets his azure blue eyes, still feeling her heart beat rapidly against her rib cage. "What did you see?"

"Nothing," Sookie shakes her head and frees herself from the tangled sheets, realizing once she's standing up that she's covered in sweat. Eric lies back down and continues to watch her.

"You were saying my name, Sook."

Her head snaps towards him, "Was I?" He inclines his head. "Oh."

"It's going to be okay, Sookie." He says cautiously, "You know that, right?" Sookie considers telling him that no, she doesn't know that it'll be okay because he doesn't either, but figures there's no point in emphasizing how uncertain their future is.

"I'm gonna shower," she mutters and hurries into the attached bathroom. Sookie stands under the hot stream and fears that they won't make it far enough to get to move in together and get married and have an actual life, not if his career requires shooting and being shot at. She fears that she made a mistake, that falling for him was stupid, that they're putting too much stock into the future. Stepping out, she wraps a towel around herself and finds Eric to have already left for his run so she takes a moment to study the room and imagine how empty it will feel once Eric is gone. Sighing, she gets dressed and makes the bed, heading down to the kitchen once she's done. Amelia and Tatiana are visiting Tat's family in Utah for her mother's birthday and Sookie doesn't have the luxury of busying herself with the two of them instead of thinking about the reason for the crappy start to her day. The nightmares that she had when Eric first told her he was joining the Marines five years ago have returned in all their gory glory, though her subconscious has clearly grown more creative in the past few years. Sometimes she dreams that Eric comes back mutilated, missing limbs and bearing scars that run far deeper than his skin. Occasionally, Eric goes MIA and never comes back, Sookie forever searching for the closure that comes with burial and the confirmation of death. This last one had been your regular, run-of-the-mill nightmare portraying a gruesome death in the middle of a war zone, but Sookie hates that Eric had witnessed how upset she had been.

"Hey," Eric calls when he returns, drenched in sweat.

"Did you... sprint?" Sookie frowns. Eric nods and then shrugs, clearly unhappy that she had pushed him away earlier. "Oh, well, go shower. I'm making you breakfast."

"You made me grilled cheese?" He sniffs the air when he returns.

"Yeah, it's your favourite, isn't it?" She asks, puzzled.

He nods, amused, "What brought this on?"

Sookie shrugs, "I wanted to make it up to you."

Her fiancee brings her close, "Sookie, you don't have to make me breakfast because you feel bad. That's not the point."

"Then, what is the point?"

"The point is that you don't just me push me aside every time you have a problem."

"I don't-"

"Yes, you do, Sookie. You're strong and independent and that's fine. More than fine, actually because I admire you for it but that's not marriage. Marriage doesn't just mean that we have sex and live together, it means that you gotta depend on me once in a while, too."

"You don't depend on me, either." He blinks in surprise. "You don't. You're so take-charge and my-way-or-the-highway that I'm barely a part of your life."

"What?"

"It's the truth. Maybe I don't ask you for help when I need it, but you're just as independent. I mean, you don't even show that you're upset about being deployed. It feels like I'm the only one unhappy about this!"

"Yeah, you got me; I'm thrilled to be away from you for fourteen months." She gasps. "It was a joke! Jesus, how can you say that?"

"Because I can't get the fact that you're being deployed out of my head but you don't seem to have a care in the freaking world."

"I don't have a care? I don't have a care?" He was yelling now, his anger evident in his every gesture, "This is my life, Sookie. This is my life, the deployments, the fighting, the very real possibility of dying on the other side of the world from you. But I can't always worry about it because it was my decision, it was a choice I made about how to live my life."

"Yeah, it was your choice. A choice you made about your life when we were together, that you hid from me, and a choice that I have to live with now because we're together. And yet none of this seems to bother you. It's like I'm some call girl that you like having around when you're in town until you have to leave and then I'm left wondering what the hell..." She drifts off at the absolutely furious look in Eric's eyes, and the rest of his face which is suddenly absolutely expressionless.

"If you think that is what I think of you, then it's a good thing we didn't get married," he hisses and then he is gone, grabbing his car keys before he slams the door shut.

***

Sookie knocks tentatively and waits for the motel room door to open. Contacting Eric had taken far longer than usual seeing how he had refused to answer her calls for the first two days, but eventually he had given in and answered, his voice cold and evasive until he finally told her where he was staying. It almost feels like another two days have gone by, but eventually Eric appears in the doorway without a shirt, his cool eyes slowly taking her in.

"Hey." Sookie smiles and Eric nods in acknowledgement so she holds out the roses. "Your fiancée was feeling really bad about the fight you guys had, so she sent me to bring you these flowers as an apology. Y'know, since I had absolutely no involvement in the fight."

"Uh huh," he raises a brow. "Well, you tell my fiancée that her apology isn't accepted."

Sookie would feel her heart give a squeeze at the novelty of the phrase 'my fiancée', but can't because she has to smack her hand on the already closing door. "Eric, come on, stop making me out to be the bad guy."

"Oh no, you're not the bad guy. I'm the one who keeps you around like some call girl, remember?"

"I didn't-" She cuts off as a maid walks by, smiling softly at them. "Come on, can I just come inside? Please?" Eric considers that and then opens the door just enough to let her squeeze in before closing it behind them. It's a motel room just like all the others, burger wrappers balled up on the bedside table and the TV remote tossed onto the bed. "I didn't mean that, okay? I didn't. You don't... treat me like a call girl. It was unfair to say that to you."

"And rude."

"And rude."

"And demeaning of how I feel towards you."

Sookie sighs, "And... demeaning of how you feel towards me. But admit it, I had a point too."

"Sookie, you can't blame me for being a Marine. You knew what you were getting yourself into."

"Fine, maybe I did, but maybe I expected a little bit more from you. I mean, how can you be okay with leaving? How can you be so blasé about being gone when I'm falling apart over here?"

Eric throws his hands up in the air, "I don't have the privilege of falling apart, Sookie! I never have!"

"You have with me!" Her voice shakes, "I'm your best friend and I love you. Why can't you bring yourself to just show a tiny bit of remorse about leaving me behind?"

Eric's remorse, as it turned out, appeared in the form of a breath-taking kiss.

"I love you." His eyes are blazing and he seems almost angry, defiant. "I love you so fucking much that it's killing me to even think about leaving you because it killed me to walk away from you all those years ago and it's scaring the crap out of me to be gone. And it makes no sense to me because I wasn't half as scared when I went on my first deployment and you're supposed to be damn terrified for that but this - this is killing me." Sookie looks up at him and exhales shakily, carefully placing her palms on either side of his face and softly stroking his cheekbones. "I'm sorry," she whispers and realizes there are tears running down her face even though she's smiling.

"Sorry for making me love you?" He laughs.

Sookie nods shyly and brings her body even closer to his. "I really love calling myself your fiancée, by the way."

"I like hearing it, love."

"I like hearing you call me 'love'," she smiles into his chest then tilts her head back. "Come home?" She asks hopefully and he gives her a long look, nodding at last.

***

The day arrives and Sookie clings to Eric as tightly as he is returning the favour and kisses him, telling him over and over again to be careful, to come back in once piece, to not keep her waiting a moment longer than he has to because did she mention that she loves him and can't wait until he's back? And besides, they're engaged to be married and in her mind she's already figuring out anniversary presents for the double digits, so she just wants this part over and done with. Eric chooses that moment to surprise her with the engagement ring she never had because apparently, his combat pay from his last deployment was burning a hole in his pocket and what better way to get rid of it than to buy her an engagement ring? Sookie watches him walk away, rocking on her feet just for the sake of doing something that'll keep her grounded because the one thing that usually keeps her grounded is walking away from her, flying to the middle of the desert to fight for people he doesn't know and who most likely will never know him, will never know his story just as surely as he will never learn theirs. Spinning her ring on her finger, Sookie makes her way back to her car and drives home only to crawl under the covers, smelling Eric as she shuts her eyes and falls asleep.

***

She gets letters occasionally.

Eric hates writing letters; he once told her that on paper, everything sounds more dramatic because everything means more, every words carries more weight when you can look at it and rewrite it but choose not to, and he hates having his words analyzed like that. He like doing the analysis himself, Sookie thinks but is grateful that he still makes the effort to write, even if his letters almost feel encrypted in the way that he never writes 'I love you' nor does he ever tell her that he misses her, and he refuses to bitch about the conditions he is forced to endure as a Marine. Instead, he signs the letter 'Yours, Eric' and tells her funny things that his friends do or stupid things that his superiors say, and when he writes 'you should have been there', it's enough to let Sookie know that he wishes she was there.

Sookie has a pregnancy scare the week after Eric leaves and she spends days barely aware of the world while she prays to be proven wrong, and when she is, she sighs in relief and tells Eric nothing, choosing instead to throw herself back into the academic life of getting a graduate degree. She long ago changed her major from English to Amelia's chosen field of Psychology, finding herself far more fascinated with Psych than with literature. Eric always teases her about it, claiming that she reads him well enough to not need a degree in Psychology and God forbid she start psychoanalyzing him and his messed up childhood.

14 months later

Sookie stands beside Jenna, Eric's friend Owen's wife of five years and wonders how she did it, how she continues to do this. Well, this part isn't so bad; this part is the part she's been dreaming of for the past fourteen months, but so much time led up to this and Sookie is already questioning how she's going to be able to handle the next time Eric is deployed. But Jenna seems at peace with this, she's happy and excited, and she has her arm around six-year-old Gracie so Sookie lifts up little Brent and settles him on her hip.

"Hey, Brent," she coos and he giggles, babbling and drooling a little bit.

Jenna laughs, "Here, you're going to need this in a second." She hands Sookie a tissue which comes in handy when Brent drools against her throat. "How're you feeling?"

Sookie dabs at the wet spot on her skin, "Good. I think."

"I cried like a baby after Owen's first deployment." Jenna fixes Gracie's hair.

Watching Brent's face, Sookie smiles, "I'm too happy to cry. Well, maybe once we get home, I haven't decided yet." Besides, I got it all out when he left, she thinks to herself.

"Daddy!" Gracie cries out then and her mother reaches for her too late because she sprints and smacks into Owen, who laughs and kneels down to greet her. Brent is struggling to free himself so Sookie puts him down and lets Jenna take his hand and lead him to his target. Left alone, Sookie stands on her tiptoes, searching for the familiar tall figure but doesn't find him through the crowd of Marines and families. Quickly, she looks down and smoothes her black dress and checks her grey high-heeled boots for any scuffs, clasping her hands in front of her as she continues to look for him.

"Can't find your Marine?" A familiar voice calls and Sookie's face lights up as her eyes lock onto Eric's, though she shakes her head. "Well maybe I can help you out. What does he look like?"

Sookie shrugs, "He's pretty average-looking."

"Oh yeah?" Eric frowns, "Not extremely tall or good-looking or anything? Brad Pitt-esque?"

"No," Sookie shakes her head, "More Danny DeVito than Brad Pitt, really. I settled," she adds with a self-deprecating smile.

Eric inhales through his teeth regretfully, "Sorry, I don't think I can help you there. I do know a tall good-looking guy-"

"That's not him," she interrupts sadly and gasps when his mouth crushes against hers. Lifting her up, he lets Sookie wrap her legs around him.

"Hey," Eric kisses her, breaks away to smile before kissing her again. Hey is exactly what she had been expecting from him, like Hey honey, I bought milk and it still manages to sound beautiful in her ear.

"Hi baby," she whispers, arms and legs still tight around him as she presses a kiss into his temple and closes her eyes, his solid presence calming her. "You stink," she smiles, eyes still closed.

Eric laughs, "Yeah, I know."

"I missed you."

His laugh is much darker this time, "Yeah, I know." Sookie hops down and brings him close for another deep kiss, feeling herself unravel at how wonderful he feels against her, how warm and familiar and real.

"Come on, there's a hotel room with a shower and a bed that I can't wait to get to." They say good-bye to Owen and Jenna, Owen and Eric promising to see each other soon – though not too soon, Eric laughs – and then they are in the car, driving a little over the speeding limit.

"Hungry?" Sookie asks as the pass an Olive Garden.

"Yeah, but I've prioritized," Eric leers and Sookie bites her lip, blushing. Ten minutes later, they burst into the hotel room, lips already locked.

"No," Sookie murmurs, "shower, Eric!"

"Tell me you don't want me," Eric whispers.

"I want you... and I will have you once you've washed off half the Iraqi desert," Sookie smiles. "Come on, go shower, and I'll be here waiting when you get out." Eric grumbles incoherently and breaks away, stomping to the shower and slamming the door behind him. "I love you," she calls through the door and hears more faint grumbling. When Eric emerges twenty minutes later, Sookie is sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard.

"Hey," she smiles more at the fact that he's covered by the virtue of a single towel around his waist; he looks like some sort of commercial for shower gel.

"You're not naked yet," he complains.

"I'm sorry." Sookie apologizes rather sincerely, "I figured you'd want to do that bit."

"Hmm," Eric cocks his head to the side and crawls onto the bed, nudging her legs apart to get closer to her. "I have another idea," he kisses the corner of her mouth and works his way down to her throat, Sookie's moans urging him on.

"I want you," she murmurs and reaches down to stroke him and he gasps against her chest. Feeling clumsy and amateur, she pumps him a few times until she feels the hand under her skirt rubbing at her already-damp panties. "Jesus." Sookie struggles to take off her dress but he stops her.

"Leave it on," he whispers and pushes her underwear aside to stroke her.

"Eric," she moans and tilts her hips to get more of his touch. Eric chuckles and slides her underwear off, pushing roughly into her. Sookie gasps at the faint pain that dissolves into pleasure and wraps her legs around his waist.

"I missed you so fucking much," he groans. "Not just this, everything." Sookie's fingers dig into his back, making him hiss and thrust into her even harder.

Sookie makes a sound, "Missed you. Fuck. I missed you." She adjusts the angle of her hips and presses his ass into herself, murmuring in encouragement when he is as deep as he can get inside of her. They kiss sloppily, lips brushing without breaking the rhythm. Sookie doesn't even care that they're scratching and leaving red marks, that their kisses keep degenerating into biting and sucking, and that their fucking is more of a fight, fight over who wants more and who is going to get off first. It makes no difference that Sookie is going to be sore as hell tomorrow and that her body is going to look like a war zone just like his, and when her orgasm slams into her, she cries out and feels herself tighten around him as she bites into his shoulder. Eric's climax is triggered by Sookie's and he thrusts a few more times before he collapses on top of her.

"Jesus Christ," Sookie breathes.

"But call me Eric," he smiles and earns himself a half-hearted smack as he's freeing her from the wrinkled dress. Now naked, Sookie pushes him until they end up on their sides, lying close enough that there's absolutely no space in between them.

"Welcome back, baby." She murmurs as her hand wanders down to him, hard once more.

He presses a kiss into her lips, "Good to be back."

***

They take separate cars, but Amelia makes sure to call Sookie every couple of hours during the ten-hour car ride to let her know that she should take a day to at least find a dress halfway resembling a wedding gown. Each time, Sookie laughs and agrees good-naturedly, hanging up somewhere in the middle of Amelia saying she will regret not wearing a dress for the single most important event of her life. Sookie begs to differ, but she doesn't say anything. The most important event of her life, in her opinion, is saying "yes" to Eric and agreeing to get married in Vegas. Her mother will probably kill her, but she can't really blame Sookie for wanting to get married as quickly as possible to her Marine soon-to-be husband. Sookie doesn't say any of this to Amelia, of course, because she is already more than grateful that Amelia is willing to drive all the way to Vegas just so her best friend can get married, even if it means that Tatiana is accompanying them. Sookie just smiles and sinks lower into her seat, propping her knees up on the dashboard and watched the scenery flash by, squeezing Eric's hand when it seeks hers out. Letting her head roll towards Eric where it rests on the headrest, Sookie watches him quietly, noticing the bright colour of his eyes and the even tan of his skin that comes from spending so much time outside.

"Contemplating what you've gotten yourself into?" Eric asks, smirking. In response, Sookie lifts his hand and kisses the back of it, clutching it in both of hers. "So that's a 'no'?" His tone softens with his eyes and he glances over at Sookie. "You know, it's okay if you want to take a day to buy a dress."

"I don't need a wedding dress," she smiles. "Besides, if I get a dress then you'll have to be in a tux, and that takes the shine off of being spontaneous."

"I look good in a tux," he mutters.

"Yes, you do," Sookie agrees heartily, flashing back to prom. "But we don't need that. We don't need the fancy clothes and that flowers and the open bar." Eric grins in agreement and entwines his finger with hers.

***

"I do."

"By the power invested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Smiling for all he is worth, Eric bends down and kisses her, his hands pulling her hips toward him. Sookie rests her hands on her husband's shoulders and giggles into his mouth, pulling away to grin at her friends.

"Congrats, Sook," Amelia squeals and throws her arms around Sookie.

"Thank you for being here, Mel," Sookie whispers before being pulled into Tat's arms, vaguely aware of Eric being congratulated by Clancy and Owen who had met up with them in Vegas. Both now released by their friends, Eric puts an arm around Sookie's waist and they begin heading out, the name "Sookie Northman" reverberating again and again in her mind.

***

Sookie can't stop kissing Eric. Even when he broke away to breathe, Sookie's lips wandered down to his neck and shoulders before Eric guided her back up to his face. Rolling on top of her, Eric laughs breathlessly and trails kisses up the line of her jaw, nuzzling where it meets her neck.

"I can't believe we're married," she murmurs and runs her fingers back through his hair.

"I can. I've been waiting for this since I was fifteen."

Laughing, Sookie kisses his nose, "Your fifteen-year-old self wanted to marry me?"

"It wasn't so much 'marry' than it was to never see you with another man," Eric admits without the smallest hint of an apology.

Sookie shakes her head in disapproval but can't stay unhappy for any longer than that. "Then it's a good thing I fell in love with you." He raises a brow.

"I'm never going to get used to hearing you say it," he comments with a smile.

"That's okay. We have a lot of time."

He nods, rolling onto his side and taking her with him, "Thank God for that."

"I'm trusting you with my heart," she whispers and leans into him, pressing a kiss into his neck and Eric grins in that defenceless way of his.

"I won't let you down." He pauses, playing with the ring he slid onto her finger hours before, "Do I get to actually hear you say you love me?" Lips so close to Eric's she can practically feel them brush against his, Sookie giggles.

"I don't know. I think you need to work for it, don't you?"

Her husband raises a brow, "I thought making you scream was considered working for it."

"Touché." She laughs.

"So?"

"I love you." She presses her thumbs against his lips, "Happy?"

Eric shrugs and makes a noncommittal noise before his face breaks into another wide smile. "Very."

***

They drive back the next morning and fly to Louisiana two days later, mostly because Sookie is afraid that if she puts off giving the news to her parents for any longer, her mother will disown her. Her parents came to California when Eric got back and stayed for a few days so it had been less than a month since they saw each other, but they still seemed rather enthusiastic about the idea of Sookie and Eric flying in. The two of them discuss the idea of Eric waiting in the rental car while Sookie goes inside but eventually decide that there's no point in putting off the inevitable, especially since Sookie's parents are expecting both of them. It takes Mrs Stackhouse exactly twelve seconds (Eric counts) to notice to gleaming ring on Sookie's finger while waving them inside and approximately one second to go from gasping in happiness to being displeased that they eloped and then right back to being happy for them.

"I'm trusting my daughter to make an honest man out of you, Eric Northman," she informs him and Eric laughs, shock apparent on his face.

"So you finally went ahead and tied the knot, eh?" Mr Stackhouse observes after his initial shock has worn off. "Guess it was bound to happen eventually."

"What do you mean?" Sookie asks, surprised, but her dad just smiles and kisses her cheek before he walks away, shaking his head. Sookie turns her gaze on her mother.

"Oh come on, it's not like you two were any good at hiding how head over heels you are about each other." The older woman chuckles quietly to herself and proceeds to ask them what they want for dinner.

"Wait, so you're actually not mad that we eloped?" Sookie wants to make sure while Eric takes a shower upstairs to wash away the grime of travelling.

Her mother shrugs, "Well, a little. I'm not going to pretend I didn't think about your wedding one day, but it's your life and you chose to not have a wedding. It's not really my place to be upset now, is it?"

"What about dad?"

"He just wants you to be happy, Sookie." She smiles and instructs her daughter to retrieve a bowl for the salad. "Are you happy?"

"Yeah, I am." Sookie feels her cheeks redden.

"I can't imagine it's easy being married to a Marine."

"It's not. I mean, just the thought of him leaving again kills me a little bit but it's better than..." Her sentence drifts off.

"Better than not having him at all?" Her mom is smiling knowingly and Sookie smiles.

"Yeah. I love him." She shrugs like it explains everything, and maybe it does.

"Aww, Sookie. Come here." Closing her eyes, Sookie breathes in the familiar scent of home and revels in the feel of her mother's arms. Kissing her cheek, Mrs Stackhouse releases her daughter and turns swiftly away, dabbing inconspicuously at her eyes.

"That went well, didn't it?" Eric murmurs later that night, pressing a kiss into Sookie's forehead as they lay in the queen-sized bed in her parents' guest bedroom.

"Yeah, it did."

"You look happy," he smiles and taps her nose playfully, making her laugh.

"But you don't. What's up?"

"I'm happy," he argues but his smile has yet to reach his eyes.

Sookie ducks down to kiss his chest, "I don't believe you."

Eric shrugs, "It's being here. Being home, y'know." It feels like a bucket of ice water has been dumped on Sookie; of course he's upset. The house next door, the one with the paint splatters on the driveway from the time Eric and Sookie got carried away helping her dad paint their porch is the one he grew up in, the one his father died in. How could she not realize how hard it is on him being here?

"Oh God, Eric I'm so sor-" He gently puts a hand on her mouth and stops her stream of apology.

"It's okay, it's where your parents live. It couldn't exactly be avoided." Sookie kisses the palm of the hand covering her mouth and pulls it away to kiss his mouth.

"We can leave earlier," Sookie murmurs.

"We're not leaving early after telling your parents we're married. They would hate me."

Sookie can't help laughing, "They can't hate you! My mom has thought of you as part of the family since you were five."

Her husband kisses the corner of her smiling mouth, "Maybe. But I'd rather not take that chance, okay?"

"Sure, whatever you say, baby."

"What was that?"

"My obedient wife routine. I thought I'd give it a try."

"It doesn't suit you, love." Eric smirks in the half-dark.

Sookie grimaces, "I didn't like it either. It felt unnatural."

Eric is still smiling when Sookie closes her eyes and falls asleep.