A/N: Finally able to finish this story. I started writing it… before October even came and even then it wasn't even a page. Sorry it seems rushed. For a story like this it seems like it'd be an ongoing one, but you're just gonna hafta deal with the 10 pages of angst. Oh, and sorry for the sometimes OOC America. It had to be done. Enjoy.
Pairing: AmericaxEngland
Rating: This IS going to be rated M. I just can't put it on that setting right now 'cause my school computer (the one I use) blocks it.
Warning: boyxboy!tsundere
America was the first to arrive at the meeting. He felt accomplished at this achievement that he even cheered himself on in his head. He straightened out his jacket and proceeded to enter through the door. As he walked in someone else entered right after him. "Ah, England."
England sighed heavily as he straightened his tie. He looked up at the clock to see they still had 10 minutes until the meeting was meant to start. Good, I'm not late…
"So how does it feel be late this time!?"
"I-I'm not late!"
"After I arrive you're late." Alfred laughed. England tried not to get too angry. He just proceeded on resting in his seat. Well whatever. America sat down also in his self proclaimed "Leader's Chair". There was silence between the both of them and for a moment it didn't seem like they only had to wait 10 minutes. Why was everyone taking so long?
"Hey England."
"Hm? What is it?"
"How are you these days?"
Wh-what!? Why was America asking him this? He's never cared before! He felt his heart leap into his throat. He looked away, blushing, "Wh-why, it's not like you care."
America was eating a hamburger that just so happened to be in his pocket, "You're right, I don't."
"Ah!" Ouch… that hurt… "Then why the hell did you ask!?"
"Bored."
England looked down awkwardly, "Hey America… Do you… ever regret leaving?"
There was silence and at first Arthur though the American couldn't answer, "Nope." America looked at him and smiled, "I don't miss you at all."
Ou-Ouch! T-this guy, never shows any mercy does he!? England felt like his heart stopped and for a moment he felt too embarrassed to even be here. Of course he wasn't regretting it, why would he leave? He was such an idiot. Why did he have to adopt this boy?
He always wondered what is life would be like if he had never taken America in. England stared down at the table, then over at the opposite end of the room, then the window. The afternoon light burned his teary eyes. But I…
Miss you…
…
And that's how it started really. England was determined to forget about America. It's not like his grades slipped or he lost his status as student council president. It was just that because he had good grades and was the president he couldn't ruin his reputation by being a lonely crybaby on top of it. He had to uphold his authority, even at the cost of completely ignoring the American at school.
"Hello, England, good morning." A foreign language teacher waved to him as they passed each other through the crowded hallways.
"Good morning." He dropped off today's schedule at the attendance office before returning back to class. He was almost there; he thought he'd be safe until America started down the hall with a whole group of friends following closely behind him. Ah, damn… Just ignore him… and you'll be fine… England fastened his pace, but it was all for not as America spotted him from the corner of his eye and waved.
"England!"
Damn! "Oh, hello America." England forced a smile as the American ran over towards him.
"Hey, would you like to eat lunch with me today?"
"L-lunch with you?"
"Yeah! You get to hang out with all my friends today since you don't have any." America laughed as the Britain glared at him.
"W-wait a minute I have friends-!"
"You'll still come right?"
Arthur let out a breath before turning back to his direction, "I guess."
"Cool. See you in a few hours!" England watched as America hurried back to his friends. He smiled softly before heading back to his own classroom. You're such an idiot.
…
Time seemed to be going so slow for him. Why the hell does time always go slow when you expect something good to happen!? He tapped his pencil frantically on the table and his foot tapped simultaneously with it. When the bells finally chimed he gathered all his books and started for the lunch room. Once he reached it he lost his nerve and decided to spend so much time out in the hall preparing for this moment. He sighed heavily, fellow classmates staring at him oddly as they went to sit at their own tables.
What was he so nervous about? It's not like he was eating alone with him and it was most certainly not a date. But Alfred never invited him to his table so he felt grateful that the nation was finally wanting him back in his life. The Britain exhaled one more time before entering the lunch room. He didn't have to look around to know what table the American was sitting at. In fact it was the biggest table in the cafeteria and most certainly the loudest. The biggest table, the American thought, granted him more appearance as a very important country. A bigger table meant that he would be noticed by everyone.
Arthur frowned at the sight of both of America's sides were filled and that he had to sit on the opposite side of the table. It was my own fault for getting here late. He supposed.
"England! You finally made it!"
"Y-yeah." He laughed nervously as he sat down. He looked around to see that Japan, Germany, Italy, China and the rest of the allies (besides France who was sitting at a more sophisticated and women oriented table) were there along with him.
England felt grateful that he was invited, but he was completely ignored by America the rest of the lunch period. America talked most of the time and whenever England found a subject he could relate to and decided to speak up upon he was always interrupted. He felt bad. In fact, Japan was receiving most of the attention mostly because he was sitting right beside him.
America enjoyed Japan's customs and wanted to know more about them. His discovery of manga and anime brought up his attention and any chance he could get he would ask more things about his country. Japan was interesting indeed, but still… Pay attention to me too… Arthur rested his chin on his hand as he stared at the door ready to leave. Jeez he's so inconsiderate…
"So Japan thanks for letting me borrow that book the other day it was super awesome!"
Kiku smiled nervously, "Th-thank you."
"I knew I had a connection with you the first time I saw you! You know what I'm talking about! That hero guy, Kay-ee-chee…?" America, of course, pronounced his name wrong, "He won in the end! Something I can relate to!" He laughed, popping another chip in his mouth.
England smirked to himself. Same as ever…
"I don't know why you always hang out with grumpy Germany and weakling Italy all the time. You'd have a much more fun time with us."
Germany was about to protest until Italy turned his attention away from the American by shoving a fork with pasta towards his face.
"You're so cool. I wish I knew about this stuff when I was a kid. But what do I get? Boring England over there."
England wasn't particularly paying attention to the conversation anymore, but once he heard his name and 'boring' being used in the same sentence he knew what it meant. "W-what was that?" Did you just invite me over here to make fun of me!?
"You're so boring, England." America puckered his lips, playing around, "You didn't come up with cool stuff like manga and all… You're so boring."
England didn't get the joke. "I didn't have time to come up with stuff like that! I was too busy trying to make a living for both of us!"
Japan and the rest of the table wanted nothing more, but for this conversation to end.
The American sighed, resting his chin on his hand, "I wish Japan had found me first… Then life would have been more interesting…"
If Japan had found me first…
England felt a great pain in his chest and all he heard was that same phrase being played over and over in his head. The whole table fell silent and almost everyone at the table stared at the disappointed expression on the Britain's face. If Japan had found me first… If anyone had found you first? "Do you really mean that, America?"
"Hm?" America stared up at him confused. He thought the conversation was over already.
"'Kay…" Arthur picked up his school bag and started towards the door, "I'll be leaving first then."
Everyone stared back at America who sighed. "Ah man, don't tell me he took that to heart?" Man… I said the wrong thing again didn't I?
…
England decided to leave early that day. He would only miss one class and it was no big deal. Besides in the condition he was in he didn't want anyone seeming him like that. If anyone, but me found you first would you have been happier? The Britain groaned as he got in his car. He started the engine and before he knew it he punched the steering wheel. "Damn you 'ya git! If I hadn't have found you I wouldn't be feeling this way all the time!" He sighed. "Little things like this get to me all the time now when it's about America… Wish I could just get over them." He probably knew the American was just joking, but he could never help, but wonder if he ever really felt like that.
He put the car and drive and started out of the parking lot. In reality he wasn't in the right condition to be driving either. He was thinking way too hard about other things and not concentrating on the road like instructed. When he forgot to stop at a stop sign and started turning the curve and scream was heard from behind him.
"Hey, watch out!" England could barely excess the situation and at first thought that call wasn't even for him. But when a large, dark figure appeared through his window he knew exactly what was happening. "Ah-" The truck driver's horn was the last thing he heard before things turned dark…
No… what's happening? Why's it so dark?
"Big Brother… England…" A younger Alfred was crying by his side, "Please don't leave."
"I'm not going anywhere, Al."
I promise…
…
Alfred rushed through the hospital doors and searched frantically for a nurse. When he finally found one he rushed over towards her and completely disregarded the patients that were already with her. "H-how is he!?"
"He?"
"Kirkland."
"Kirkland…" The women scanned through her clipboard, "Oh! You mean Arthur correct? He's just fine. He was lucky enough to only suffer minor cuts and bruises. Unfortunately he did hit his head pretty hard so he hasn't woken up yet."
"What room is he in!?"
"R-room 696." As America turned to leave the nurse called back, "W-wait! Only family members and alliances are allowed in there! A-are you-?"
"I'm his brother!" Alfred yelled as he turned the corner, out of sight. His face turned a little pinkish at the thought of him referring to him as his brother after years of denying the relation. He didn't bother asking for direction so for the last ten minutes he did get lost. But he finally found 696 and hoped that it wasn't true. Arthur's name was on the door and at first the American felt too ashamed to barge in his room. It was probably his fault after all. If he hadn't have been so cruel to him he wouldn't have gotten into this.
Those thoughts played over and over in his head while he pulled the door open. He walked inside and closed the door quietly and stared at the nation just lying there on the hospital bed. He was told an oxygen mask was placed on him because he hasn't woken up. And since he hasn't they don' t want to take the chance of him to suddenly stop breathing just in case he didn't wake up.
Don't say that… America knelt down beside him and stared at the bloody bandage around his head. "H-hey, England. Come on don't be stupid. The doctor said you only got a few cuts. Don't be so over dramatic about this."
England didn't budge, he only exhaled heavily. God… Alfred took the other's hand and squeezed it tightly, "Look, I'm sorry. About how I've been treating you. I just wanted to show you that I made the right decision when I left. I don't want you to know that I miss you too, 'ya know. Don't take all of it to heart you idiot!" America clinched his hand tighter, "I'll change, I promise. Just… please get better…"
For a moment there was no change in Arthur's condition until suddenly the Britain's hand held on to his tighter as well. America gasped, leaning in closer to him, "H-hey, England? England can you hear me?" Arthur still didn't wake up. America slumped back down and hid his face in his arm. When did things start getting so complicated…?
…
The Britain's eyes fluttered open. His eyes narrowed at the sight of the white walls and ceiling around him. What the hell? He pulled off his oxygen mask and sighed heavily. God, my head hurts… His eyes wondered to a stack of presents at the right of his bedside. Bears, balloons and cards were all carelessly stacked in a small chair. "Jeez… what have I gotten myself into this time? Hm?" He noticed for the first time that there was a hand in his. He looked down to his left to see a full head of blond hair lying beside him. "W-who's this guy!?" He quickly pulled his hand away as his face grew hotter. When the hell did hospital rules change? When did they decide to let strangers into the rooms!?
Stranger…
…
England was discharged from the hospital a few days later and immediately returned to school. His bandages were covered by his uniform and the only one that seemed to be in sight was the one against his cheek. He took off the bandage that was meant for around his head. He didn't want to look too banged up. "Thanks, you guys, for coming to see me."
"Are you okay, England-san?" Japan asked, concern in his eyes.
England laughed a little which made his head hurt, "I'm fine. Never felt better."
"England!" America ran through the crowd of people and stopped in front of him, "I'm sorry about everything. Are you okay?"
"Oh yeah, you're that guy from my room. What were you doing there anyway? What's your name?"
Chatter erupted amongst the group as America stared down at him dumbfounded, "Wh-what are you talking about? I'm America."
"Oh, so you're America. You're not new around here, but I never recall seeing you before. Well whatever. Nice to meet you."
"This is a joke right?"
Arthur glared at him, "Why would I be joking around?"
"England-san, do you remember me?" Japan spoke up, standing beside the American.
"Japan."
"And me?"
"Germany. Italy. Russia. Hell I remember all of you guys. What's going on here?"
"Then you've got to remember who America is."
"He's part of the student council with me. Jeez, you guys are getting annoying." England stepped out of the crowd and started towards the school building. "Well get your acts together 'cause school's about to start." As if on cue the bells chimed for students to start getting to class.
Only America and Japan were left standing in the middle of the walkway. Alfred stared down at the pavement as Kiku looked at him worriedly, "I believe this sounds like selective memory loss… did you do anything to upset him again?"
America exhaled deeply before starting towards the school building. Yeah…
…
During the meeting that day America couldn't help, but stare at the stranger England worriedly. Why wasn't he remembering him? Could he really be just forgetting him because he wanted to forget? Why just him…? The nation sighed silently as he looked down at his shaking fists. Of course he knew. Because he always said the wrong thing around him. He knew the Britain was particularly… sensitive about their past so… he should have known…
If things kept going as they were he knew that Arthur wasn't going to get his memories back on his own. America just had to trigger them. He gulped, his face turning pink. And he knew how…
…
After the meeting England approached the planning America with a very professional look on his face. A face that he rarely ever wore around him when he was normal. "Hey America, could you pick up some papers from the office before you leave today?"
Now's my chance! "Um actually… I don't really know where the printer is… For future reference… could you show me where it is?" America was pretty good at acting for the most part…
Arthur sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Fine. Come on."
America followed him to the office and there was a section completely dedicated to the printer. There were two there and several shelves throughout the room for sorting out papers. Teacher mailboxes were out in the hall right before you entered and there was a table in the middle of the room. When England walked over to the printer, America secretly locked the door behind them.
England wondered over to the table, looking through the pile of papers, "So now you know. If you don't have any more questions you can leave now."
"What about you?"
"I still have stuff to do."
"Hm…"
But America didn't leave. England noticed this and turned around curiously. As he did Alfred embraced him tightly which made the Britain drop his whole assortment of papers. "W-wha… wh-wh-what are you doing?" His whole face turned a crimson red as if he had never been touched in his whole entire life.
"Getting the old England back…" He answered quietly as he leaned forward and forced a kiss on the unsuspecting nation. The Britain gasped in his mouth which only made the kiss go deeper. He was being leaned back further against the table as the American became more passionate about it. While the kiss seemed like his first time for some reason it felt familiar all the same.
America finally broke the kiss, letting poor England let out a breath he had been wanting to for a while. Alfred rested his lips on the other's shoulder. He felt him shaking and at first he almost felt sorry for him. Obviously the man was scared. Being randomly touched by a 'stranger' but if it was the only way to get him back…
He missed the way England would have a hint of pink on his cheeks whenever he looked at him. And the way he sometimes stumbled on his words whenever they talked. Little things like that always made him happy to be around him. Only when he was around America that he did those things. The things nobody else seemed to notice he loved and wanted nothing more than to see it again. Only for him…
"S-stop." England mumbled, trying to push the American away. He shuttered at the thought of another man touching him the way a women should have. And just thinking about how he's never been with that women yet… "Th-this is too much! Stop!"
America had no choice without the other causing someone to check up on them. "Look, if that's what you're into then fine, but…" He rubbed his shoulder uncomfortably, "I'm not into that stuff got it?"
"B-but you…!"
He glared at him as he started picking up the papers, "But I what?"
"This isn't you!"
England shook his head and laughed bitterly, finished and stood back up, "Are you stupid? This joke has gone on long enough!" His words made his heart beat against his chest hard… England was so stubborn when it came to everything and that included him losing his memories.
"You don't remember me? From back then? When I was just a little kid… Not at all?"
Arthur seemed to have thought about this long and hard before shaking his head furiously. N-no! Just leave me alone about this weird stuff! England stared at the nation bitterly before turning to leave. "Listen." He reached for the door and gripped the handle carefully, "Whatever problems you're having; get over them alright? I don't have time to be fooling around with someone like you."
America felt his heart sink, "Someone… like me?" He had never heard England talk about him so coldly before. Well he has, but… he never meant it. Not until now…
Arthur started opening the door and immediately America's body started to react. No. No! I can't let it end this way! Alfred ran towards him and quickly shut the door as he grabbed hold of the Englishmen's tie. "Hey! What're y-!" America lost his balance and dragged England down along with him. They both fell with a loud bang!; it all happened in one smooth motion.
"Ah!" England hit his head hard on the wooden floor. He hissed in pain, dedicating one hand to grabbing his head lightly. "Stop it!" Arthur paused, his eyes widening at America's sudden outburst. He slowly looked up at him and for the first time in his life he saw a pained looking American staring back at him.
"A…merica…"
"I can't let it end this way! You can't forget just because things got too hard for you! Just because you want the pain to go away!" Tears formed in his glowing, blue eyes, but he tried to hold them in as best as he could. "These are… my words as a hero. But look at me! On my hands and knees begging for you to come back!"
"Ameri-ah…" Stray tears fell on England's cheeks as he watched a defeated America.
"Wake up… or I won't be happy… Stuff like this… it never ends like this for the hero…"
Arthur just stayed there, lying on the floor taking this all in. His head was hurting so badly, so badly that his flashbacks were just coming and going like some slide show. He remembered when he was his happiest when he was with a little blond haired boy. He remembered when that boy always used to call his name. How he considered him his brother and how happy he was to know that the boy always awaited his arrival.
And he remembered he used to call his name all the time too. W-what was it… Um…
"Big Brother England!"
"Hey, Al."
Al.
Al…
Al!
"A…l…" He whispered. He barely remembered who he was talking to now. Now when he looked up all he saw was a blur, he was feeling dizzy, but… all he wanted to see was Al.
There is… someone on top of me…? He reached up slowly, touching the American's cheek softly. He leaned up, kissing his other cheek gently. "Don't cry… Al." America's eyes widened, "It is you… right?"
"Y-you called me-!" England rested his head against his shoulder, "E-England?"
Arthur sighed against him slowly, mumbling something under his breath, "Hey, what's wrong?" America went to rest his hands in England's blond locks, "En-" but he quickly pulled his hand back and to his horror there was a pull of blood resting on his palm. He gasped, looking down at the stained floor then back at England who was already started to fall asleep. "H-hey, England? England!"
The Britain moved only a little, "Oh America… so it is you."
"England!"
"Why are you so loud… idiot." He sighed against Alfred's neck, "I'm kinda sleepy… 'ya know."
"Stay awake okay!? Just keep your eyes open 'kay!?" America wrapped his bloody hand around his waist, pulling him closer. "Don't fall asleep…"
England closed his cloudy eyes slowly, "But… I'm…" England's own embrace loosened.
"England?"
"Hey Al… do you remember… when you used to come in my room when you were scared?" England laughed at the memory to himself, "And I always used to fall asleep before you?" America nodded sadly, "Sorry… but it looks like… I'll be falling asleep before you again…" He buried his face in his shoulder, "S…orry…"
England?
England!?
H-hey! England you idiot, wake UP!
…
England's eyes shot opened as he quickly sat up. "Ah…" It felt like the room was spinning, resting his head on his hand carefully. Ouch… He didn't remember anything. This aching head was definitely not from a hangover. "Hm?" Then for the first time he noticed that his surroundings were unfamiliar to him. He noticed how he was in a bed, a bed that was not his. His dirty clothes were sitting on a chair on the opposite side of the room and that they were replaced by an XL shirt. He looked at it carefully, "Why does this shirt say… YMCA-ah!" C-could it be!? He looked around frantically and then there, his head lying by his bedside was none other than America. Th-this is his house! A-A-A-Am-!
England's face grew red and immediately his head started to throb again. Ow-ow-ow-oww…
Why was he at America's house? Arthur pulled the sheets close to his chest as he poked a finger at America's head, "Heyyyyy… America…" He wasn't budging. "H-hey! Wake up!" He slapped him across the head. He still didn't move. Arthur smiled small, placing his hand on American's head, stroking his hair lightly. America… He was sleeping, his snores echoing throughout the empty room softly. The Britain wondered how long he'd been here at his house. A day? A week? Weeks? He sighed, looking at the curtain covered window.
"E-England…"
Eh!? Said nation quickly pulled his hand away as the other sat up groggily.
"Ugmn…" America groaned as he sat up, rubbing his head slowly. "You're… finally awake." Alfred smiled warmly which made the Britain nervous. Smiling? At me?
"Y-yes…"
"Are you… okay?"
England could feel the stinging in his head again. "I'm fine."
America looked down, his eyebrows furrowing, "I'm… sorry."
Arthur gasped. Had he ever remembered a time when America ever apologized!? "O-oh! It's okay really! I'm fine! I'm fine!" He didn't like this atmosphere and he especially didn't like a sad looking Alfred.
America looked at him neutrally. "You're… quite strong."
"Eh?"
"Stronger… than me anyway."
"I'm sorry, but… what are you talking about?"
"Y-you don't remember what happened yesterday?"
England looked up, "Yester-,"
"You can't forget!"
"You can't forget just because you don't want to remember!"
"Wake up!"
"Ah…" England looked down, hiding his pink face behind his blankets. "I'm… sorry…"
"No problem." America smiled. "I'd rather have a whiny England than a stranger one any day! Haha!"
"Wha-! What do you mean by whiny!?"
"Now there's the England I know!"
The Britain looked away, puckering his lips, "Psk. 'Ya git."
"Stuff like this… it never happens to the hero…"
"And America."
"Hm?"
"Your view on heroes is extremely flawed. You better get your facts straight before trying to act all cool saying all that stuff…"
"S-so you're remembering?"
"A little."
"Haha, good. I missed the normal England."
England stared at him wide eyed, his face growing pinker. He looked down, "U-um, America?" Alfred stared back at him curiously, "Come down here. You have something on your face."
"Wh-what!? Get it off! Get it off!"
Arthur laughed silently. Real heroic, Al. As America leaned down England kissed his lips softly.
America pulled away, staring at him dumbfounded, "E-England…"
"I'm… sorry. I never wanted to forget." He wore the saddest expression. "I didn't know… something like this would happen." He wrapped his arms around the American, hiding his face in his chest. "Sorry… for always being a burden… I shouldn't even be in your house…"
Alfred smiled softly, "Oh come on, England. First you got blood on my shirt, now tears? Look up." England's teary, green eyes met America's blue ones, "Don't be stupid. You're never a burden to me." America looked away, his hand on his chin, "Wait… or are you?"
England gasped, hitting America repeatedly, "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idi-!" Alfred seized the Britain's lips, making him pause. Arthur gasped, "A-America-ah!" The American pushed the vulnerable nation down. "W-what are you doing?"
America smirked, pressing his lips against England's exposed shoulder. "'Cause I can't give you anymore than this."
"N-no! Ah!" England shuttered as he struggled to push the other away. "I'm not-! We can't-!"
"Why not?" America purred, kissing his ear playfully, "You only have on a shirt. Easy access and it'll never get any easier than this."
"Wh-what?" England's face turned a dark shade of red as he pulled the shirt down lower, covering part of his thighs. For some reason the shirt seemed a lot shorter than it was now that he knew he was barely even covered, "You… you…?"
"Yup!" Alfred smirked.
"D-don't…" The Britain closed his eyes tightly and prepared for what was to come once Alfred kissed his lips…
To be continued… with smexiness…
For more smexiness read the next chapter, (which will be up soon) hoho! Sorry again that it seems rushed. The story seemed so much better in my head… =-= Anyway, to make up for the disappointment there will be smex in the next chapter which I will try to put up soon.