Chapter 1: If She Knew What She Wants

Buffy's fingers loosen their grip on the headboard. Releases the breath she's been holding in. Her body quakes.

Oh GOD, I needed that. That should come in a prescription bottle!

Feels her body relaxing for the first time in ages. Her arms come down to her stomach, playing with her belly button. Feeling her skin. Warm. Melty. Her mind is wandering. She always loses control of her brain… after.

She lays back, eyes closed. Letting all the thoughts come and go. Some are nice and remembery. Some are not so much, and she can feel the tension returning to her muscles. Already? I hate you, brain!

She looks over to the body lying next to her, softly snoring. It's been what, like five minutes? Demon. Human. Men are all the same. Buffy gently runs her fingers through his hair, careful not to wake him. God, he has such pretty hair, long and dark and just a little bit wavy. I should ask him what conditioner he uses. He stirs, and rolls away from her.

She should probably go. Sleepy. It'll be light soon. Melty. And besides, I don't think my legs work yet. I'll just nap for a min…

And all of a sudden, for no reason, she's jumpy. She's itching to get the hell out of there.

Buffy leaps out of bed. Quick like a bunny. Finds her clothes on the floor. Slips her jeans on over her bare skin. Finds her tee-shirt and jams it over her head. Smoothes it over her belly. Grabs her undies and bra, balls them up and stuffs them into her bag.

Shoes… shoes… Shoes? In her head it sounds like panic.

Under the bed. Shoes. Thank God!

One last glance around the hotel room.

Pulling her hair back into a ponytail, she's already walking out the door.

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Xander paces. He's good at pacing. Not so good with the waiting.

A crackle over the speaker. Heavy breathing.

"Buffy? Buffy are you there?"

More breathing. Then…

"Yeah. I'm here. Look Xander, things are bad down here. We got the package. But it cost us."

"Whaddya need Buff?"

"Evac team. Meds. And… uh… Clean up crew."

"God, Buffy!" Clean up means one thing. Lots of dead people. "How many did we lose?"

"Six." Buffy sounds angry.

"What the hell happened?' Now Xander sounds angry.

"That'll have to wait, Xand. We'll be waiting for you. Hurry!"

"Buffy? BUFFY? … I guess she's gone." Xander, springing into action. "OK people! Let's get Buffy that Evac! Med Three? You're up! And get a C.U.C. together. I want you in the air in ten minutes. Get it done!"

Xander watches the team follow his orders. His work here is done. Now he can get back to what he's good at.

And Xander is pacing.

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"She. Screwed. Up. I'm telling you that's what happened!" Kennedy's voice is hoarse, but she can still yell quite well, thank you very much. "She barely made Coles Notes on the recon. She was late! And she didn't stick to the plan!"

Kennedy is talking to Xander, but her anger is all aimed at Buffy. She's out of her chair, leaning over the table, one fist on the big meeting room table. The other attached to an arm in a sling. Eyes on Buffy. Knowing she can't take her, but really wanting to try.

"I'm sure from your perspective it could… erm… seem…" Giles attempts to appease the red faced slayer.

"We lost SIX PEOPLE! On a no-brainer mission! Just because she wanted to show off. Be big bad Buffy." Vi puts her arm on Kennedy's shoulder, pulling her gently but forcefully back into her seat.

"Quit whining, Kennedy. It's a battle. Plans go awry. People die. Some of ours. Lots of theirs. That means we won." Buffy snaps. Will somebody please shut that kid up!

All eyes turn to Buffy.

"What?" Buffy's working her innocent look.

Giles clears his throat. Looks at Xander. Xander catches it and throws it back.

"Could we have the room, please. We'd like to speak to Buffy alone." Giles asks everyone, in the way that is not asking.

Everyone leaves. Quickly.

Xander looks at Buffy. Giles looks at Buffy. Buffy looks at her nails. Looks up. "What?"

"So, what happened?" Xander asks, in the way that is asking.

"I already told you!" Buffy doesn't like to repeat herself. Shouldn't have to repeat herself. "Once we were in position, I knew the plan wasn't gonna cut it. So I ditched it."

"Buffy, it was a Grab-and-Go! Not a hard plan! Get the package, get out. No dying!" Xander's eye hurts. Funny how that happens.

"God, Xander. You've been out of the field since Sunnydale. You forget how it works in real life?" Buffy can't sit still. The chair's uncomfy.

"Well… erm… I'm sure there were unforeseen circumstances, but your callous disregard for your team's safety… for their feelings… and your seeming lack of concern for the loss of life… is... well…" Giles is having trouble putting this delicately. "It's utterly reprehensible. I honestly don't know what's gotten into you these past few days."

Buffy stands up with a force that knocks her chair back a few feet.

"Giles, you are not the person to be giving me lectures." She looks at Xander. Looks at Giles. "God, I am so outta here!"

She storms out of the room, closing the door behind her with a resounding slam.

Xander stares into space. Giles cleans his glasses.

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"Off active duty? I'll active duty you, you stupid jerks!" Buffy kicks her wastebasket out into the hallway. "This is my gig! I'm like the President of… of… Slayers Incorporated! You can't bench the President!" Buffy mumbles.

She flops into her chair in a huff.

Leans back, lifts one leg up, and uses the other for leverage. Spinning is fun. Spinnnnnn. Spinnnnnnnnnn. Spinnnnnnnnnnnnn. Oooh. Head spinny! I guess that fun's over. Now what do I do?

She looks out the window. It's dark. She can see the spires from the cathedral poking out over the rooftops of the village below the castle.

"I guess I could… kick it old school." She grabs her jacket, and a stake. Walks out the door.

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Faith stumbles through the doorway of her apartment.

"Home Sweet Home!" Her hand fumbles against the wall for the light switch. Success! She takes off her jacket, throws it onto the chair. Goes to the fridge, grabs a beer. Pops it open and starts to chug. Grabs another, walks to the bed and sits on the end. Kicks off her shoes, and leans right back, facing the ceiling.

"Are you gonna stand there all night? Or are you gonna come over here and kiss me?" Faith raises herself up on one elbow, looking seductive. Playful. She pats the space beside her invitingly.

No movement from the other side of the room.

"Ahh, come on Blondie. I'm not gonna bite ya!" Faith's smile. Works every time.

She reaches out to the warm body that is suddenly beside her. Wraps her leg around strong thighs. Kisses and tongues these new lips. Maneuvers herself on top. Raises the hands above the head… Kissing the neck, licking the ear…

Hears ringing. Her cell?

Dammit! Faith pulls away from the body, releases the wrists. "Sorry, I'm gonna hafta get this." She stands up, and slinks over to her coat to grab her phone.

"There had better be an apocalypse, Giles! Or else…" She answers, walking to the bathroom. Privacy in a bachelor apartment is hard to find.

"Yes… erm… how are things going Down Under?"

"I was just about to find out…" Faith mumbles, half into the phone, half into the mirror.

"What was that? I can hardly hear you."

"Everything's under control here. Mission accomplished. I was gonna report in tomorrow. Get my next assignment. Maybe go to the beach."

"Well… I'm afraid there's been a change of plans. I'm going to need you here. It's all arranged."

"I am not going to Scotland! No freakin' way!" Faith's hoarse voice turns into a squeak. A pubescent boy would have more vocal control.

"I'm sorry Faith, I know this might be uncomfortable for you, but you must come to Scotland and see me at once." Giles' voice is sharp and without patience. Can't argue with that tone.

"All right, gimme the info." Faith listens attentively. "And Giles, I was not kidding about the apocalypse. It'd better be major." And snaps the phone shut.

Faith sits down on the edge of the tub. She's going to Scotland. She's going to Scooby Central. This is not a good plan. No good at all.

And what am I going to do with… Sam? Let's go with Sam.

Faith opens the door to the bathroom.

"Hey Sam?" Oh good, no tears, no indignation. Must be Sam.

"I'm really sorry…" Faith makes her excuses. Pushes Sam out the door. Real quick.

She's got a plane to catch.