Chapter Twenty-Three

Why Her

The clouds parted and the sun poured in. It was six at night and it dimmed to leave again, this time for the moon. Neither of the men had moved, but it was time that they did.

Jasper stood and at humans pace he sat across from Edward. The depression receded from him as it had, but only just, in a shamed undertone.

"You let her go," Jasper said, knowing not what else there was to say. The truth was better than nothing, the silence they were living in had to end.

However, he felt worse at Edward's graveyard voice, hushed sadness, resentment, and acceptance. It was nearly as bad to hear, as it was to feel.

"You were and are aware of my reason. It was for her safety, Jasper. She could have died, I myself have had too many close calls, and you almost killed her then, your teeth came too close. You can slip now most especially. That night," he growled, "at the park."

He flinched in remembrance of the day he lunged at her, and slightly guilty at the rainy night they spent in the park. Edward saw and grimaced too. "I was careful. She trusts me and I cannot break that trust."

"She trusted me too."

"I never hurt her. What happened on her birthday will never happen again."

He glowered, ice in his eyes. "The park should never happen again either. And how can you be certain? She's not graceful. All it will take is one millisecond of her everyday clumsiness. That cut was half a second."

"She wants to be changed. I want her to be changed. There won't be any danger when she is."

"I don't want that for her, to lose her humanity. She's perfect the way she is."

"I love her. It won't differ if she's human or vampire, she's still Bella, just as I loved her when she was the zombie you turned her into." Edward flinched once more, but he kept on. "I've been protecting her and will continue to do so. You must understand, Edward, she's her own person. She appreciates making choices for herself and I allow her that. She allows me to be who I am without declination. It's a small piece of what we have, barely worth noting in comparison to how perfect we are for each other, and I hate the time we've wasted."

He looked up, his black eyes haunted. "You expect forgiveness?" There was a strain in his voice, a tightened cord ready to break.

Before Jasper could say a word, before he could calm him, Edward lunged. Instinctively he laid flat, pushing his feet against Edward's chest as his teeth snapped inches from his scarred cheek. Lifting him up, he effortlessly threw him over his head. He rolled and crouched in time to see his brother tumbling to the ground, mud splattering, wildflowers uprooted and crushed.

Edward too was in his crouch quickly, the mud dripping from his copper locks, growling furiously at him with his teeth bared. It was not defensive, he was preparing to attack. Jasper's brother... His brother would kill him.

The rain fell harder, but they pretended not to notice. The wind that whistled through the thick trees foregone their attention. For that moment, time stood as still as them.

It was not their first fight. Edward and Jasper were men, and like most men (species be damned) fought in competition. It was never serious, they played, but they played to win. Neither of them could beat the other, not with Edward's mind-reading abilities and Jasper's experience. They would go on all night until Esme exasperatedly called them in.

No one would call them in then... They were alone...

"Do not sedate me!" Edward bellowed.

Slowly, Jasper stood. He wouldn't defend himself. He wouldn't do a thing to stop Edward attacking him, even if it was only restraining him. Jasper did disobey his requests. He didn't stay away from Bella, and he fell in love. He betrayed his own family, and he wouldn't do so again. He wouldn't hurt the family by hurting Edward. He wouldn't hurt himself by living with the regret of doing that.

"You want forgiveness," Edward spat out accusingly.

"No," Jasper responded unwaveringly. "I don't need it. I have what I need. Now, find yours."

"You're willing to kill her! To take her life!"

"I'm willing to give her what she wants."

"She's human, Jasper!"

"We were too."

"We didn't have a choice!"

"So let her have hers."

Helplessly he slipped out of his couch, descending into the mud once more. "It's not that easy. I can't live without her."

"She's our family, you'll never have to be without her."

Edward moaned. "Why her? What is it about her emotions that keeps you? Do you want to be around worry all the time? That's what she does, she worries, she feels inadequate."

He smiled, knowing exactly what Edward was doing, his small mind-games. He couldn't see it, not beyond all the pain, but there was a bottom line, and it was that Jasper loved her more than anything the world or any other could offer. He felt he had waited his entire existence for her. He wasn't about to let her go, not for anyone.

"It's not her emotions, brother. Even in her worst state there is love and concern. She's selfless in everything she does. She's the half of me I thought was dead. When my family died I thought it was the end of me. It should have been. Then I met Bella, and I did try to stay a distance from her. It's not supposed to be that way, it never was. I am sorry, but trust me, you will find your half too. It's always where you least expect it." Who would have thought that he would've ended up with a teenage human girl?

"She's changed you," he commented dryly.

"I'm happy."

He closed his eyes, preparing for the answer to the question he was going to have to ask. "Alice... Her and the mutt?"

"Yes."

He bowed his head, and tugged at his hair, coloring it with mud once more. "I thought..."

"She told us." Jasper grimaced at the pain and hopelessness, like that of distinguishing a flame of promise.

"She smelled like her. She was light and gratifying, and I believed for a few hours that my destiny could lie with her. We've known each other for many years and if she didn't let go of my hand then she wouldn't leave me either."

"We make our own destiny."

"That... Has become ostensible when Jacob saw her," he noted sarcastically. "I'm alone again."

"Don't worry for your future, we're going to be living a long time."

"That's the problem."

He thought of what he overheard between Edward and Carlisle, Edward's plans to have the Volturri kill him if Bella didn't survive James. She barely did, and that memory was painful for every one of them. What they came so close to losing...

"You're not going to Italy." It was an order. Jasper wouldn't have anyone pain Bella and that went double for Edward, who would ultimately send Bella back into her state if anything happened to him. She would blame herself, and he would not permit that.

"It was a thought."

"You'll find someone, Edward. You won't be alone forever." He never had to be. There was one woman who never gave up on him, the strawberry blond goddess of snow. "What about Tanya?"

"Don't set me up, Jasper."

"She's waited around for you for centuries. As a single gentleman you are most obligated to take her out."

"That one date is all it'll come to. I'm a conquest, that is what she does to men."

"That is what she does to human. You'd think if it was a conquest she'd have yielded years ago, but she still hopes. I feel it every time our covens are together."

"You were wrong."

"I'm never wrong."

"Not about that."

"Then about what?"

Edward smiled kindly, though the anguish hadn't left his features. "You are good at this."

Jasper smiled back and held out a hand, a peaceful gesture. Without hesitation, Edward took it.

***

Bella paced the living room. She wore the beige rug in a line from the back room door to the desk at the opposite wall. Eight out of ten of her nails were chewed down, and she started on the ninth one, expertly careful that she didn't bleed. One cut was bad enough.

"You could have this miracle duster -" Jacob clicked the television off turning on the sofa to face her. "Bells, will you sit down, already? What is pacing like a lunatic going to do?"

She ignored him."Alice, what -"

"Ten-fifteen," she answered as if she had done a hundred times - or seven. "It hasn't changed in the last two hours. He's on his way." From where she was perched on the sofa Alice inspected her nails. "I have to give you a manicure..."

She wanted to curse her perfect eyesight, but Bella checked the clock on the desk, though she had been staring at the luminescent numbers for too long. Each minute passed slower. "And -"

"And they reconciled. Really, Bella, do you want gray hair forever? Calm down."

"Edward -"

"Will be fine. I see. He'll be more than fine."

Bella stopped and inhaled deeply. She never bet against Alice and she wasn't starting then, but she had to know. "What do you mean he'll be more than fine?"

She glowed as she smiled. "He's going to Alaska. Remember Carlisle telling you about our extended family there, the Denali's? Tanya is one of the coven, she's loved Edward since they met, but he can be oblivious."

"Couldn't he read her mind?"

"Oh, sure, but he saw other things too. She has a thing for human men, but Edward was different for her, she loves him despite him being immortal, but you can lie through your thoughts. Needless to say he wasn't receptive before. Thanks to Jasper, he is now."

Jacob guffawed. "Because he had no one else to go to."

Alice shook her head in slight disagreement, her eyes to the television as though she was still watching it. "Sort of... What else can he lose? I see it, Bella, he'll fall in love with her. He won't be alone for much longer."

Bella sighed in relief and plopped beside her, leaning her head on her shoulder. She was glad for Edward's future, for not worrying about him anymore. That was secure, but Jasper... After hearing Edward's certain debate on her life would he want her still? Maybe he decided to take his side, and he would tell her that her life was too precious. What would she do then? How many times could something be taken from her until she was beyond anyone's repair?

Jacob gripped her hand. "Trust her."

"I do, Jake."

"Three minutes," Alice announced softly.

She looked to the dreaded clock and waited out the longest three minutes of her life.

***

There were the babble of voices, the deafening decimals of the planes, and the swirling emotions of the rushed people, happiness and sadness mixed. It was always full of pumping blood, and was second worst to hospitals. At least there, there was some happiness. Hospitals were depressing tinged with relief.

Jasper slowed the bike to a stop outside of the white stone and blue-green glass building. He was behind a new black car (he could smell the leather interior), and beside a gray truck that appeared to have been pulled out of a dumpster. The speed he was going gave him several rude gestures, those including from the dual opposite vehicles.

Edward who loosely held his shoulders on the way, released him, swinging his leg off the motorcycle. "Thanks," he muttered.

"Say hi to the Denali's for me."

He nodded, continuing that pulled look of apprehensive. "Tanya is beautiful, funny and smart, but I worry..."

"You're more to her than a conquest."

The day was in their favor, puffs of steel-colored clouds wisping over them. There was a dull shine where the sun was strapped, desperately attempting to peek through.

"Thank you," Edward said. "For making her happy."

"You'll do the same for Tanya."

"Maybe," he responded carefully, not entirely sold on the idea of him and her, but curious and attracted enough to try. When there was nothing to lose a person would do anything.

"I'll take good care of her."

"I know you will." He turned his face up to the sky, where the sun was, as if he would have tried to direct himself away from the truth. He knew it was true. His brother was the best for her.

Horns blared behind him, but Jasper didn't blink. Only Alice knew when the next time they would all be together again. "Visit us soon."

"We will."

Feebly smiled at the use of the word "we." Deep down, Edward knew that Tanya was for him. That word testified it. "See you later."

"Later, my brother."

Revving the engine he squeezed through the traffic, leaving Edward to catch his flight to Alaska. Getting a plane ticket last minute would be easy, as Jasper stated before: Money went a long ways.

Horns continued to blare angrily at him, but as before, he paid no mind. He focused on where he was going: Into the arms of Bella. For the first time he was displeased at his bike's speed, but a few miles away from the hotel he imagined that Alice was giving her a specific time of his arrival. It wouldn't come soon enough...

***

On the countdown of Jasper's return she dozed at two, and jerked awake abruptly at one. Bella sat straight on the edge of the couch, chewing on her final nail. She stared at the door, waiting. and waiting...

Jacob heaved a disgusted sigh, and she felt Alice's arm graze across her back to soothe her new lover. Next to her he relaxed, but she didn't.

Thirty seconds were left and she had ran out of nails. She would tell if he changed his mind about her. She remembered her last days with Edward. Would it be different with Jasper? Was he a better liar than even Edward was? Or was he more truthful? He never lied to her before, and it was more likely that he would say that his brother changed his mind. And he would leave. Like Edward. And she'd be alone.

She was certain - more certain than she had been the last time. It was not something she would recover from. Not again. Jasper would be the death of her one way or another.

She could've asked Alice what would happen, but that wasn't the way she wanted to find out. Bella wanted to see it. if her fears were true... If she wasn't being irrational...

There was a small beep, and the brass knob turned. She leapt out of her seat, took one step, and tumbled harshly to the floor - or almost. Alice sat her upright, releasing her hips once she was steady.

Bella doubted that even Jasper - the vampire soldier, was prepared for what happened. The second he opened that door, showing his expectant but clear face, his lithe figure, she tackled his torso, squeezing with all of her weak human strength.

There was a sharp intake of breath, and instantly she froze. Silently she rebuked herself. She should've known better. One would think she hadn't ever encountered the supernatural before.

"Sorry," she muttered as she tried to untangle herself from him, but his hands gripped her back firmly.

With a portion of his remaining air, he hissed lowly. "No."

They remained there for a good minute. She comforted herself by acknowledging that if he didn't have control Alice would have intervened. He had to be doing well. That is, considering how well a bloodthirsty vampire could be with his careless human girlfriend. In respect, she was lucky to have lived as long as she did.

Finally, he breathed.

She propped her chin up. "Better?"

"Greatly." He kissed her lips hurriedly, passionately hungry.

When they parted, she took a cautious reading of his expression, fearing that she would see the hard mask Edward gave years ago. But there wasn't one. His eyes, their sweet honey tone were lit, his smile genuinely wide.

"You still want me," she blurted out.

As if he understood (which could've well been the case), his visage didn't alter from its radiance. "Forever," he claimed, and he met their lips again.

A/N: This is the end of the story! I hope that you all enjoyed it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it. I know some of you were hoping that you'd see Edward with someone else, but to be fair this isn't exactly his love story.

If you want to know what I'm doing in the world of writing, please feel free to visit my homepage located in my profile. You'll be able to see where else I'm at through there.