I am trying not to tell you
But I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say so I'm hiding what I'm feeling
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head

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Ino Yamanaka coming up for the weekend! See you in two babe!

Yesterday at 8:11 PM Comment Like See Wall-to-wall

Ino Yamanaka we all miss you too! Thanksgiving is in a month and im coming back from suna then!
September 1 at 10:41 AM Comment Like See Wall-to-wall

Sakura Haruno What's on your mind?

Sakura Haruno hospital food isn't all that bad...
About an hour ago

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Naruto Uzumaki what?!
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Friday October 9 2009

I haven't written in this in ages. I don't even know why I'm starting again, it's not like I'll finish it. It's like five thousand pages thick! Okay no. Positive, not negative, thoughts Sakura.

Well I guess I can't write anymore now. It's time for medication again. Yay.

Sakura

With pale hands, Sakura placed the small book on the stand next to her bed. Her red Sony Vaio lay there, battery dying. Like me.

The door clicked open and a nurse with a syringe smiled at the girl of eighteen. Sighing, Sakura positioned herself comfortably and then sunk into the sterile smelling sheets of the hospital bed. Green eyes watched as the fluid from the needle fell into the tube connected to her IV. The medication would enter her system in a few seconds and then slowly sink in within a few minutes. Drowsiness assaulted her body within minutes and her eyelids fluttered shut. The thoughts in her mind that was once so clear now just jumbled together in a sluggish soup. Not even bothering to resist, she fell into a deep sleep that would take her late into the night.

***

She was running, but didn't know from what. Everything was so confusing, her body wasn't functioning. Sakura wanted to scream so badly but she felt constricted, trapped in her own body only able to move in one way. The darkness suddenly disappeared and a blinding white light surrounded her. But she still couldn't stop. So she cried. Cried so hard because she wanted it all to stop and then she would be able to find peace and rest. Farther down the road to nowhere was a boy. Through blurry tears, she could make out a shock of blonde. Sakura's heart raced and her running legs wanted to run faster but as much as she wanted to they began to slow and soon it felt as if she was going through thick mush. The boy was fading and when she finally could reach him with outstretched fingers, he disappeared and she cried and cried and cried until flowing tears surrounded her and began to drown everything, including herself.

***

Sakura found herself sitting upright, eyes wide. She was confused because she didn't remember sitting up or being awake or when it all happened. But what she did know was that her face was wet and her throat was dry. Breathing in deeply, she got out of bed walking towards the bathroom. Her face was shallow, no longer full and the green eyes that looked back at her were dull. The once thick lashes that graced themselves around her pretty eyes were gone except for a few strands that had stubbornly clung on. Running her hands through her hair she wasn't surprised to find another chunk fall into the sink. Smiling a bit, she began her daily routine of brushing and exfoliating. Even sick girls needed soft smooth skin and pearly whites.

By the time the food cart wheeled its way towards her room, Sakura was changed. Her bare feet softly padded back towards her bed and at that same moment, Shizune appeared.

"Outfit number twenty-three I see." She commented, amused.

Sakura laughed out loud and replied, "Out of the many hundreds. We still have a long way to go Shizune."

A slight small made its way to the woman's face and a pang of emotion struck her heart. Shaking it off, Shizune walked back towards the cart and lifted off two covers from two plates revealing the different breakfasts of the day.

"So what'll it be my dear Sakura? The sludge of doom or the questionable lump of yellow which I swear I saw moving when Tsunade picked at hers."

Raising faint eyebrows, Sakura looked at the unappetizing looking meals.

"Um...I'm not that hungry anyways. I'll just take the juice thanks."

Laughing, Shizune then applauded her judgement and proceeded to hand her the drink.

"Besides, I have chemo in an hour and I wouldn't be able to hold it down anyways. Might as well not waste it right?" Sakura said between sips of the sour and bitter juice.

Not being able to hold it down was a big understatement and only Shizune and Tsunade knew what it really meant. When it was first administered, Sakura was fine until the third time. The side effects were tremendous and Sakura could not keep anything down for days which resulted in rapid weight loss. When her older sister came in for a visit, the hospital had an earful while Sakura lay in the bed faintly listening and softly telling her sister to stop and that it wasn't their fault.

"Anywho, you have a busy day today Sakura." The dark haired woman said as she waited for the young girl to finish the drink.

A look of question appeared on her face not understanding what Shizune had meant because as far as she knew, all there was to do today was chemo, puking, sleeping, and repeat except for the chemo part. Smiling, Shizune just told her that it'll just be a surprise so after the chemo, sleep a bit and then get ready. Shrugging Sakura handed back the empty cup and then sat back onto her bed.

"I'll see you in an hour with Tsunade and your sister."

***

As she dry heaved into the toilet, Sakura felt the hand of her sister rubbing her back. Thoughts were pushed out of her mind when her stomach churned and bile rose up her throat. After a few minutes, she wiped her mouth with the cloth that was placed on the floor.

"Thanks Karin..." Sakura whispered. She didn't dare talk too much, afraid of vomit projectile and the smell of her breath. Her sister's eyes locked with her own and a large grin appeared on Sakura's face, trying to lighten the mood. Rolling her eyes, Karin took the cloth that was still in the grip of Sakura's hands. Quietly, Karin stood up and ran the cloth under cool water returning to the floor seconds later bringing it to her younger sister's face, wiping her mouth, sweaty forehead and cheeks.

"Come on loser. Go take a shower and I'll get something for you to eat."

Karin's eyes brightened at the look of Sakura's face when she mentioned food. With a small smile Karin responded by telling her that she would sneak some of her favourite food.

"What they don't know won't hurt them. That's what I say."

"Don't forget, 'It's not called speeding unless you get caught.'" coughed Sakura, as the nauseous feeling came back.

"Do you want me to stay back?"

Looking at her older sister Sakura noticed how much older she seemed to be. A few months ago she looked so young and alive, like a normal twenty-four year old. But within a short span of time she aged six years and with it added maturity. Sakura knew it was because of her illness that did this and felt like she had ripped the youth away from her sister not allowing her to enjoy life as she should be for a woman in her twenties.

"Nah, I'll be fine."

With a look of reluctance and few more coaxing words, Karin relented stating that she would be back in half an hour. When she finally left, Sakura smiled to herself and prepared for the hot shower that her aching body was longing for. Turning on the water Sakura felt the water warming on her skin, the pressure would always be weak but it didn't matter. Closing her eyes, her thin body relaxed and she never knew when darkness enveloped her mind.

***

She awoke to whispers and murmurs and the hum of the air conditioner. Sakura could feel her sister instantly at her side when she noticed the slightest twitch of Sakura's arm. She struggled to get up but her arm gave out and she collapsed back onto the bed with a soft thump. Within seconds a blonde blur was next to her as well.

"I'm sorry." She said thickly. The back of her throat was dry and her tongue felt heavy and bitter. A cup of water was lifted to her lips and slowly, Sakura took small sips, bitterness in her mouth slowly going away. As Tsunade put the cup back onto the side table, she took a good look at the frail girl lying in the bed. She looked like she was drowning in the sheets that seemed too big for her. The white was washing out her colour, making her seem even paler.

Straightening her back, Tsunade looked at Karin and nodded, quietly saying that her younger sister needed rest and that she would be in good hands. With one last look, Karin agreed telling her sister that she loved her and would be back the next day. Moving to the end of the bed, Tsunade picked up the medical chart that was hanging onto a clipboard at the foot of the bed. With grave eyes she again looked at the now sleeping girl and let out a sigh.

"Too young..."

***

She was falling this time, in a tunnel of darkness. And again she felt trapped in her own body, full of panic, wanting to do something other than fall. An explosion of light filled the space and the same boy was there again. Reaching for him, she strained to be able to touch him, any part of his body. But he disappeared and before she hit the ground, Sakura woke up. The sun streamed through the blinds of the hospital room, a hand on her forehead. Wiping the sleep out of her green eyes, a grinding rumble hit her stomach. Clutching her stomach while moaning, Sakura squeezed her eyes shut.

" Morning loser."

Sakura stiffened. That voice was so familiar, one that she hadn't heard since the summer before everyone went off to their respective universities, the voice that haunted her ever since he had left for school.

"Naruto?" Sakura croaked, eyes squinting adjusting to the light that was now fully illuminating the room because Naruto had pulled the blinds up. His blonde hair seemed to blend in with the sky, being the sun itself. A wide toothy grin was set upon his face; a hand was on his hip while the other was holding a bag. Setting the bag down, he pulled a chair up towards her bed, scooting close enough so that Sakura could see the faint whisker-like lines on his cheeks. She hoped that she didn't look too horrible, self-consciousness kicking in even though she hadn't cared about her appearance for a while. But from the reflection of his ocean blue eyes, sheer mortification of the state she was in burned through her body. Heat rushed through her cheeks in embarrassment and Sakura looked away hoping that Naruto hadn't seen too much of her rumpled morning look.

"You should have told me you were coming." Sakura mumbled as she began to rise out of her somewhat damp sheets. She didn't even realize that she had been perspiring through the night and hoped to god she didn't smell bad either. As her feet hit the cool linoleum floor, a slight tug caught her attention. An IV was hooked up to her arm causing her to frown. It wasn't that bad was it? All she could really remember yesterday was the shower and then well...everything was just a fragmented mess. Sakura swore she heard her sister, probably beating herself up for leaving her little sister, and Ino's high pitched voice, probably telling her about the boys, parties, and well boys and parties.

"Do you need some help?" concern laced through Naruto's voice. His brows furrowed when he watched Sakura slowly get off the bed. It's been forever since he's seen her. They hung out a few times during the summer and they had wanted to before he left for Suna, but ended up flopping on the plans. So since then, they haven't really spoken. The status update on Sakura's facebook page had set off an alarm in his head, first being practical thinking maybe it was just for an examination, or maybe it was appendicitis, but then he remembered her telling him that she had her appendix removed in the start of tenth grade. Naruto couldn't stop thinking about it until he decided to just pop by for a visit, asking her older sister about Sakura and which hospital she was at. Karin was weird about it and he was sure she was about to cry when she was telling him about Sakura. She looked so...he couldn't put his thumb on it; heck there was no words to describe it.

By the time she responded with a "No it's fine!" Sakura was already headed towards the bathroom, IV pole trailing behind. Jumping up, Naruto quickly walked over to Sakura. In the bathroom lights, he could fully see what she looked like. It came as a shock for she was so different than what she was two to three months ago. Her cheeks were hallowed, skin pale, dark circles were under her eyes and her hair was no longer thick and shiny as it was.

"What happened?" he breathed, not intending to say it aloud but accidentally did so. Naruto knew this wasn't any ordinary virus, but just didn't know what could be causing such damage to a young girl, especially Sakura.

Her green eyes now bright showed a smile, waving off his worry.

"It's fine. The medication I'm taking, it's just the side effects."

Naruto watched her through the mirror as she finished and cleaned up. He followed her back towards the bed and listened as she buzzed a nurse to change the sheets. Within the hour, Sakura was settled back on her now freshly made bed.

"What's in the bag?" she questioned. Sakura wanted to reach out and grab it, but knew better than be rude and snatch things. Naruto grinned as he pulled the bag up onto the bed and began to pull things out.

"Well, I'm guessing that hospitals aren't really that fun and your laptop will only do so much for boredom and the food here probably sucks regardless of your facebook status. I know you too well to know that you were telling the truth." he said while laughing. One by one, goodies appeared before her. A Sudoku book, a secret obsession that only Naruto, Ino, Karin and her closest friends knew about, a DVD set of her favourite drama season, a novel that she had never heard of and hoped to god that it wasn't his father's erotica.

"A Where's Waldo book?" laughed Sakura as he pulled out a pack of Crayola Crayons as well as a couple colouring books.

"That too? Naruto, you really shouldn't have done all this!"

A grin was his response and he continued to pull out two more items from the bag. Sakura's heart raced as she watched him place everything on the bed neatly. Her own smile grew when he looked back up to see her face.

"And I brought your favourite. I don't know if you're supposed to be eating this but you were never one to really follow the rules anyway right? It's Calamari, Greek rice, potatoes, and tzatziki sauce."

****

"So how's Hinata?" Sakura asked between mouthfuls of rice and fried squid. Naruto broke out into laughter watching her eat.

"Oh shut up Naruto. I haven't had food this good since Karin snuck in a cheeseburger with fries two weeks ago. Shizune says that everything they cook for the patients is alive and I'm starting to believe her!"

Chuckling lightly he responded, "She's good. Actually it's been great. For the past year we were going to different schools but now we're in the same one. "

Sakura forced a smile nodding along as he talked about his girlfriend of a year and school. She could feel her heart hammer against her chest painfully whenever he mentioned Hinata. But him just being here and spending time was good enough.

"Well, what about you?"

His question startled her, snapping her out of the thoughts running through her head. Sakura gave him a slight smile, swallowing the food slowly before responding.

"I was at Konoha U for a couple of weeks before I came here." was the reply. Simple and vague. Not what Naruto was used to. Sakura used to ramble on and on as he listened to her, nodding at the right moments, saying "Mms" and "Ahs" assuring her that he was paying attention but really he kind of wasn't. He wanted to ask but didn't know how to come around doing it, not wanting to step on any toes, after all they had lost communication for a few weeks.

"Oh..." was the lame-est thing to ever escape his mouth, but sadly it did and an awkward silence slowly settled between the two.

Sakura continued to eat, not minding the awkwardness; actually she was quite used to it. It frequently happened when she was first admitted into the hospital, in fact, by now anytime it happened she made a game out of it. The awkwardness and uncomfortable tension for the person amused Sakura when she was bored. But she didn't want to do that to Naruto so instead of torturing him she decided to elaborate. After all it was all she could do since well there was nothing else.

"I passed out during one of my lectures. It was pretty bad I guess. There were probably about a thousand people in the hall and apparently according to Sasuke I had slumped over my desk and started to convulse."

Naruto sat there, wide eyed, mouth agape. Noticing his face, Sakura laughed a little then continued.

"He said I kind of fell out of my seat and he rolled me onto my side. He was scared I was going to choke on my own vomit or tongue. So after that I had been in and out of this place. But two weeks later I seized up again. I'm here permanently now I guess..." she trailed off, finishing the last bit of rice. Sakura pushed around the small fried bits on the bottom of the aluminum plate. Her green eyes focused on nothing, waiting for his response.

"What is it?" Nartuo said quietly voice deep and filled with an emotion Sakura put a finger on.

"Um...they don't know yet..." It was a lie and she knew it. But Sakura didn't have the heart to tell him what it was. She just hoped that her voice didn't betray her and Naruto wouldn't catch on, she wasn't the world's best liar and everyone knew that. Looking up, she realized that he was staring at her with those piercing blue eyes. A small smile slowly formed on his lips, oblivious to her blatant lie.

"They'll get it for sure. I know it!" he said, in a voice that was meant for reassurance. For her or himself, she didn't know but a small lump rose up in her throat and her heart squeezed painfully.

"Yeah..."

***

He stayed until the nurses had to shoo him out of the room and Naruto promised her that he would visit again, before the end of the month. Sakura had a smile on her face the rest of the night and Shizune looked at her questioningly when she came in with the dinner.

"I think I need sunglasses. I'm blinded." she said, placing the tray on the table. Shizune's eye caught a glimmer of silver and reached for the object that was on the floor next to the bed. She picked up the plastic bag that held the remnants of the forbidden lunch Sakura had had. Raising an eyebrow, Shizune gave Sakura a look which was responded with a flush that reached the girl's ears.

"Oh!" Sakura gasped.

"Ahem." Shizune's foot was tapping on the floor, both brows now raised.

"Stupid Naruto..."

"Sakura – "

"I know, I know. But Shizune, you know the food here is gross and...and...real food!"

Shaking her head, Shizune gave a small hint of a smile.

"I have seen nothing and heard nothing. And what is this anyways?" she sarcastically commented. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief, Shizune wasn't going to tell nor was she going to lecture her.

"Unless you don't tell me who that boy was."

***

Sakura was so tired. So weak. Her body ached, it was getting so hard to breathe. But she opened her eyes anyways, glancing around. Her vision was blurry, slowly focusing. Sakura could see her sister standing, back towards her. Karin's murmuring voice reaching her ears. It was like a sad melody, the trembling of words, deep breaths. Sakura wanted it to stop so badly. She was so angry now that it was herself that was causing this to happen. Turning her head to the side, she saw blonde. Her heart raced; the monitor beside her beeped. The nurse that was just conversing with Karin rushed over. But it was just Ino. The monitor slowed, returning to normal.

"Forehead."

Deep breath.

"Pig."

Shaky laugh. It's like nothing changed just for a second, but everything has.

Tears fell from Ino's eyes. The blonde girl, shook her head and laughed.

"This wasn't part of our plan." She said, shakily.

Sakura smirked.

"Che, world domination? What are you like 5? I guess this place isn't big enough for the both of us."

"The world can't handle us."

"Ino, can you get something for me? It's under the bed."

Nodding, the girl crouched onto the floor. She found a rather large paper bag and pulled it out. She looked at her best friend before peering inside, finding a box of crayons and a colouring book.

"Now who's 5?"

A breathy laugh.

"Shut up."

Ino flipped the book open, expecting pages to be filled with colour but only found them to be still blank.

"I never got to even start it. Better late than never right?"

Karin watched as the two girls fought over which pages to fill and which colours to use. The tears that once fell from her eyes were dry. A solemn look on her face. She walked over, sitting next to Ino, placing a smile on her face. As forced as it was, it was better than anything else. Her eyes caught a piece of paper or something like it that was in the paper bag. Reaching down she plucked it out and her eyes scanned the card. The messy scrawl made it obvious that a boy had written in it. A lump formed in her throat, eyes glossing with tears. Quickly, Karin excused herself, only looking back once, seeing her younger sister's life tick away.

***

"So, tell me who that cute boy was!" exclaimed the dark haired nurse. Her dark eyes were shining with excitement and Sakura couldn't say no to them.

"He's just a friend Shizune." Sakura replied exasperated.

Shizune gave the girl a look of disbelief.

"Naruto was it? Are you sure he's just a friend?"

Sakura's face flushed. She hoped Shizune didn't notice the blood rushing to her cheeks or else it would be like being grilled by a P.I. So Sakura distracted herself with the slosh that was sitting in the tray on the table. The fork in her hand was poking through the food, inspecting it, making sure there wasn't anything alive and jumping living in it.

"It was sweet of him to come by today though."

"Mhmm...."

"I can't wait to tell Tsunade about your boyfriend! She'll be so thrilled; in fact I'm just going to page her down now!"

Sakura's head shot up about the leap out of the spot where she was sitting. Shizune wouldn't dare!

"Aha! He is more than a friend!"

Damn!

"No Shizune, he's not. He really is just a friend. Besides, he has someone else." The sound of her deflated voice at the last statement went unnoticed by the nurse. Sakura felt her hand rest itself on her shoulder.

"Do you like him?"

Sakura just smiled up at her and shrugged. Sensing a finality of the subject, Shizune busied herself with other things and then said goodbye to the girl. Later that night when Sakura was asleep, Shizune went back to collect the tray. It was untouched besides the lines and holes the fork had made but she knew that Sakura hadn't eaten any. After picking it up, she saw a card lying where the tray had been. Curiosity getting the better of her she gingerly picked it up, glancing at the sleeping girl.

Sakura,

I don't know why you're here but all I can say is that whatever it is that you have, it'll go away. You'll get better. I know it. Why didn't you tell me? I know it has been a while since we talked but still...you know? Anyways, I'm sorry still about not visiting earlier, better late than never though right?

So...I hope you don't find the stuff in here dumb or anything. I remembered that we had made a list (we made dozens of lists actually, my favourite is the zombie apocalypse) during math class filled with things that you would put in an emergency kit. Apparently, colouring books with crayons and DVD sets were your top choices which I think is still weird. But whatever. I know you're not in an emergency situation but it'll help with the boredom.

Oh, and I hope no one's going to notice that there's food in here too. I know you're not supposed to eat anything else besides the stuff they give you, but I'm pretty sure you were lying about the whole "hospital food isn't that bad" comment. Yes Sakura, I know you that well.

We'll do something when you're out of here okay? And expect me as a frequent visitor. I'm pretty sure you'll get sick of me in soon time.

Naruto

***

She was falling again. But this time there was an end and she landed gracefully on her feet. Something told her to run, so she did. Unlike the last time, it was as if there was a purpose, a goal for her to reach. The darkness that surrounded her faded into light. Instead of feeling trapped in her body, she could move. But still she couldn't slow. So instead she took this freedom to look around at her surroundings.

Sakura was in a meadow. The sky was blue, cloudless, and everything glowed. The grass beneath her feet felt soft, the wind caressed her body and the colours were vibrant. She kept running and running and the field seemed endless. And the same person was there again. His blonde hair, brighter than the sun, moved with the wind. He turned and Sakura found herself looking at shocking blue eyes. A smile grew on her face as she willed herself to run faster.

Outstretching her arm, she tried to grasp for him again, hope in her heart. When she finally slowed down, close enough to touch, reaching her goal, he disappeared. So she laughed and laughed. And then fell onto the soft grass, closing her eyes, smile still on her face and laid there until the time would come for her to be able to touch that divine angel that would seem to be forever unreachable.

***

Saturday November 10, 2009

I'm starting to become tired even just beginning to write. I guess I should have started a while ago when I could but I thought I would have more time. Guess not. Well better late than never.

If you get this Naruto and read this, I'm sorry. I know it will seem unfair and even cruel but I had to. I haven't told anyone but I'm sure they suspect it anyways. Shizune found out, even though I said nothing but I suck at lying and that just gave it away.

You are one of my closest friends even though we've only known each other for a few years. I didn't even know you went to the same school until middle of eleventh grade. I guess that makes sense, you moved and transferred here at the first semester. I thought you were so adorable, hell even Ino did. I probably didn't make the greatest first impression I mean who talks about...well you know...around someone you don't know. But that's how I got your attention. We clicked just like that and that seldom happens. Mrs. Yuuhi hated me because I wouldn't stop talking and she told me to go back to my seat so many times! But whatever, I'd do the same thing the next day.

I don't know when it happened though...but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you...But you already had someone. And I know it was selfish of me but I hoped everyday that you two would just break-up. That somehow I would wedge my way into your life and you would love me too. That didn't happen though. You told me how you were so close before even high school and how during freshmen and sophomore year you two were inseparable, already like you were dating only it wasn't official until the summer before junior year. After that I knew I couldn't do anything. You were in love and most of all you were loyal to her.

My heart was broken and it hurt every time you mentioned her. I helped you plan romantic things to do with her and I would imagine those plans would be for you and me. As much as it hurt me and was torture, I wanted to be near you even if it meant to be just friends. We hung out so much, people thought we were dating. Everyone referred to me as your girlfriend but I always denied it. You never really cared. I always wondered why though. But just never asked why...

I found every reason just to hang out with you, whether it is out of boredom, because I didn't feel like being in class or just because. And we had so much fun, and I loved every moment. My insides would quiver; my body would tremble whenever I saw you. During the summer before we all left, we would talk late into the night. Sometimes I would call others it would be you. It was so easy. So effortless.

But then everything changed. Or at least I felt that it had. I hadn't heard from you at all, not even a phone call or even a message left on my IM. One day I tried to talk to you but you were so cold, and I know it's silly because it was online but still. It scared me and I panicked. I figured everything caught up with you and you finally realized so I just stopped. At first it was okay. I hadn't thought of you for a few weeks. But then it just came at me all at once. It hit me when I was in the hospital and I couldn't stop thinking about you.

That day I had a seizure in class, Sasuke and I were talking about you. He told me that there were so many others out there trying to catch my eye but I didn't notice because I was still pining for someone that could never be mine. I had a feeling that he was hinting about himself. I know, cool, emotionless Sasuke. Who would've thought? I blacked out before I could respond. In the hospital they couldn't find anything wrong with me. They assumed I had an epileptic seizure because well...I have a history with it. But it was strange because the last time it happened was when I was eleven.

Everything was normal for a week until one weekend I blacked out. I woke up on my kitchen floor, no one was home so I was lucky but I didn't tell anyone so they wouldn't worry. A few days later it happened again, and this time it was in public. They took me to a different hospital where a doctor named Tsunade worked. She took up my case and discovered a small, but surely growing, tumour wedged between two spinal discs. Tsunade told my parents that since they caught it early, they could remove it no problem and they did. But then they found something else. The cancer had spread.

I was terminally ill and confined to the hospital. My hope of survival was slim to none and I didn't think my heart could break again. The day you came I wanted to cry so badly. It wasn't fair that I could never see you again. When you told me to have hope, that I would be better, oh god...I couldn't bring myself to tell you. I just couldn't. I won't see you, and I can't say again because that would be a lie. In the future, it will be quite a while, but I want it to be that way.

When you visited, it was enough. After that I was ready to let go. You're a very sweet boy and Hinata is a lucky girl. I wish I had that. I wish I was her.

At this point I actually hope you won't be reading this Naruto. I'm sorry if you are though...I don't want this to be a burden in your heart. So if this isn't Naruto reading this please, burn this. Never tell him what was in this and what was said. Keep it in your heart; take this secret with you to your grave. But do tell him that I loved him. Loved him as a friend, as a brother and he was one of the most important people in my life. Though if you are reading this Naruto...then I can go on without saying it.

I feel it and I know its coming. Thank you. For everything.

Sakura

***

He was walking. The grass in the meadow was tickling his bare feet, the sun warm on his shoulders. A girl, he found, was lying so peacefully. So still. She was like a beautiful doll waiting to be woken, to have life breathed into her. His blue eyes took in her soft pastel hair and the feeling inside him surged. Her lashes fluttered, eyes opening, revealing green eyes. He kept walking until he was where she was, until he was standing in front of her.

And she smiled softly at him, outstretching her arm, fingers ghosting on his skin. They reached his face and he felt the faintest caress. Her lips moved, he listened. This time for real. No "Mms" or "Ahhs" and nodding at the right moments pretending to be paying attention.

"I am broken, ugly, and diseased. But yet here you still are, finding me when you could be somewhere else, with someone else. Why?"

His hair is brighter than the sun, eyes blue like the ocean. A hand threads through her hair, brushing it back, feeling its softness and he sees the colour more vibrantly as his fingers glide into pastel pink.

"Because I am your life and you are mine."

So she smiles and laughs and is everything that she wasn't before. She is alive and free, able to do anything she pleases. He kisses her and she becomes bright like him, no longer pale or dull.

"Because I love you."

And all it took was an eternity.

***

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: Wow. Again, wow. This is the longest one shot I have ever written and I'm quite proud. This actually took me a couple weeks to write and I really like it. Hopefully you guys will too. My grammar sucks and also my tenses. You all already know this, so I hope nothing was confusing.

I'm sorry for not updating. I'm in university now and it is very different than high school. Not only that, I have a minor writer's block for some of my stories. So for now, I'm going to be sticking to writing one-shots because multi-chapter stories just don't seem to be working out for me right now.

Also, I'm going to be starting a youtube channel. It'll have mini updates on myself, upcoming stories, updates for on-going ones, and also perhaps on makeup as well. So what do you guys think? Should I do that?

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this story. It's my first attempt at NaruSaku.

Rachel

PS The lyrics are from Falling for you by Colbie Caillat