Title: Point of View: The Eye

By Atri/ Chiara Crawford

RATING: G

WARNINGS: None

CATEGORY: Introspective

PAIRING: Sparky

ARCHIVES: , Command Dynamics

SPOILERS: Season One: The Eye

SUMMARY: Rodney deals with the aftermath of the Genii invasion.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Stargate: Atlantis.

I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).

His hands shook, as he tried to keep his spoon steady. It was his first meal in twenty-four hours, a hot bowl of the blue, fruity Tarmik soup he had learned to like over the months they had been in the Pegasus galaxy.

Sighing, he dropped the spoon in frustration, giving up on eating and instead looked out of the huge mess hall windows. The storm was still going strong, waves crashing into Atlantis' shield with a power that was frightening, the wind blowing even faster around the spires of the Alteran city.

That his plan had worked…He almost didn't dare believe it himself. It had been insane. It had been more than insane. Rodney now knew exactly how Samantha Carter had always felt during one of her brilliant but incredibly dangerous and suicidal plans. It could only be described as a rush of adrenalin. For a time, it had given him the impression that he could do anything, make everything possible. Unfortunately, he did not have the same nerves of steel that the blonde obviously possessed.

Staring at his shaking hands, he cursed his reaction. He should have been more used to such events happening. The last months of the Expedition had been a crazy spiral into numerous dangers, after all. Why had he agreed to go be part of this? Sure, there were lots of interesting things in Atlantis, technology that surpassed everything he had ever seen before. But was that really worth risking his life for?

He snorted. It was not like he had a choice, did he?

Leaning back, he rubbed his forehead tiredly, his gaze drifting towards a little booth in one of the farthest corners of the mess hall. There was only spare lightening there, but he still could see the outlines of his two leaders. They were leaning towards each other, talking softly.

A shiver raced down his back, his mind taking him hours into the past. He still felt the cold rain against his body, soaking him through, still saw Kolya, his dark eyes menacing as report after report of eliminated Genii reached his ears. Oh, how he remembered! Murder had been written in those orbs and hatred had penetrated the Genii commander's voice. Rodney had no doubt that had Kolya not needed him, he would have been dead. Just as Elizabeth had almost been.

He shuddered, just thinking about it. Rodney liked Elizabeth Weir. She was the one who had gotten him out of Area 51, deciding to trust him with the position as Head of the Science Department on her expedition. Nobody had ever trusted him like that. Sure, they respected his genius, his ideas, but never the man behind them. She had been the first to look behind his caustic and sarcastic demeanor. She was the first he could call a true friend.

Perhaps that was the reason he had stepped between Kolya and her; the desire to not lose the first true friend in his life.

A quiet laugh came from the direction of Atlantis' two leaders and Rodney smiled slightly. It was good to hear that they would be able to move on from today. He hadn't been sure. Especially, when it came to Sheppard. He remembered the rage in the man's voice, the utter hatred as he spoke to Kolya.

I'm not aiming at her.

He had never before sounded like that. And, quite frankly, it had frightened Rodney. Frightened him like nothing had ever before. After walking through the corridors, seeing the dead Genii soldiers, some with their throats cut, others just with a bullet in their head, he thought that his concern was entirely reasonable. Sheppard had always been a protective leader, but such brutality, such cold-blooded killing, was not something he had thought the man capable of.

Though she had. There had been horror in Elizabeth's eyes, he remembered, and pain, but no disgust, no surprise at the Major's actions.

After everything was over, the situation controlled, the wounded given medical attention and Sora detained, they had quietly, unobtrusively, disappeared into the labyrinth of corridors which permeated Atlantis. It had not been intentional. He had just felt like going for a walk, trying to feel safe in their city again, when he had stumbled upon them, standing on an indoor balcony with a view of the east pier.

He did not know why he hadn't simply made his presence known. Perhaps even he, in his incomprehension of social dynamics, had felt that it was a private moment he was witnessing. Something true and sacred and real. Something he could not turn away from, no matter if he wanted to or not.

They had stood there, looking at the fierce storm, almost motionless. Only their shoulders had been touching. Neither of them had said a word, not in reassurance or absolution.

Then, suddenly, Sheppard had begun to speak. At first, his voice had merely been a whisper in the silence. He had spoken of Kolya, of his guerilla fight against the Genii, of his sorrow for the deaths of two of his people. Of how he had believed Elizabeth to have died. By then, though, his words had begun to shake with emotion. He had told her how he killed every single Genii that had stood in his way, of his determination to not let Kolya have Atlantis. Of his oath to kill the Genii commander the next time he saw him.

And through all this, Elizabeth had never wavered, never said a thing. In the end, when Sheppard had become hoarse with feeling, his voice spent on a gruesome, vengeful tale, she had calmly turned to him and gathered him in a hug.

Quietly, Rodney had slipped away, never noticed by his two leaders. Looking at them now, burdened, hardened by war, decision and leadership, but not broken, not ever broken, he knew that he would never repeat what he had seen. For there were things that were not destined for them to be spoken about, he knew.

Getting up, he silently left the mess hall, the goodbyes of Sheppard and Elizabeth reaching him when he was almost out of the room.

Yes, there were things in Atlantis that frightened him to death. He had experienced more dangerous situations than in his entire life before the Expedition. Was it worth it?

Friendship. Loyalty. Trust. Kinship.

He had found those things here, on a distant world in the Pegasus galaxy. So, perhaps, it was worth it, after all.