A/N: Oh hey again! I got a ton of new people following this story since my last update. Wow! Thanks, ya'll. This story is pretty fun for me to write in my spare time and it means a lot to know that people are reading it in their spare time too.
As you can probably tell from the chapter title, this isn't necessarily the happiest chapter of the story but it IS the longest chapter so far so there's that.
As Bella and I shuffle into my apartment, I'm still reeling from what happened earlier. The cab ride home was completely silent.
She shivers a little, rubbing her hands along her arms to create a little bit of warmth. With it being well into autumn, the evenings are getting cooler now. I turn up the thermostat for her and the heat in my apartment kicks on.
"Well I think we've earned a beer, don't you?" she asks as she heads towards my fridge.
She only pulls it open a couple of inches before my hand slams it shut again. "You should call Jessica. We don't have much time before she'll need to come get you and take you back home."
There's a distinct bite to my voice and I know she can sense it. The whole evening has been wasted really. We waited on a cab for half an hour to come pick us up and now that we're at my place, it's been almost an hour and a half since we left Emmett's. He'll be expecting her home from "the movies" soon so I don't want her to get too comfortable.
Plus, I'm feeling guilty for endangering her life. And to be honest, I'm blaming her for it a little bit too.
"Okay," she meekly replies before walking into the living room to call her friend.
I decide I do need a beer so I grab a Heineken and down half the bottle. Tonight was too much, too overwhelming.
"Don't I get one?" Bella chimes and I turn my attention towards her.
I take another sip and then wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. "No, Isabella. You don't. You heard Emmett earlier."
She raises an eyebrow at me. "I'm sorry. Are you my boyfriend or my older brother?"
"Do you realize you could have been hurt?" I yell at her and I can tell she's startled by the volume of my voice, but I'm trying to emphasize a point.
"We're fine, Edward. I'm fine. You're fine. Everything is fine."
"That's the thing, Bella. Everything isn't fine!" I finish what's left of my beer and roughly throw the bottle into the trashcan.
"Is this about your fucking car, Edward? Oh my god. Are you seriously this pissed about your fucking car?" Her tone is harsh, but she isn't raising her voice.
"I don't give a damn about my car! I care about you!" I cradle her face into my hands and kiss her roughly. It's a needy kiss and she wasn't quite ready for it, so she resists.
As she pulls away from me, I know I'm not reacting the way I should. I should be comforting her. I'm sure the accident frightened her. I can't help it though. Thoughts of losing her and thoughts of Emmett freaking out are swirling in my mind.
Bella is starting to cry and I fucking hate it when she cries, but I can't seem to make myself wipe away the tears this time because I know they are about to get much worse.
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I know you asked me to wait until you weren't driving and I didn't." She's trying to keep her tears under control, but she's failing.
An apology is nice but it doesn't fix what I already know. Tonight is the first time Bella has truly shown her age since we started seeing each other like this. Bella's a teenager and she's impulsive and she's reckless. More importantly, Bella isn't ready for this. She isn't ready for me.
"Bella, I can't do this." I don't look at her because if I do, I won't be able to say what comes next. "I think it's best if we don't see each other anymore."
The truth is that this is toxic for her. She's too young. She needs to find out who she is before she gets herself wrapped up with me and I have to let her do that. But I don't explain that to her. In fact, I don't say anything else. I just stand there like a fucking idiot and listen to her labored breathing as she tries to control her sobs.
She pulls her buzzing cellphone from the back pocket of her jeans and glances at the screen. She sniffles and wipes the tears away from her face. "Jessica's here. I have to go."
The door slams behind her and I'm left standing alone in my apartment with only the whirling of the heat from the air ducts to comfort me.
On Monday morning, I finally get my car towed to the mechanic and he gives me a quote the get it fixed. It's pricey, but luckily Carlisle will help me foot the bill. The mechanic gives me their loaner car, a 2001 white Honda Civic, to drive around until mine is fixed. I hope it's fixed soon. I hate Honda Civics.
I call Rosalie after class on Monday afternoon and tell her she can take her car to the same mechanic to have the bumper fixed. He'll just put it on my tab.
I don't allow myself to feel sad about what happened Sunday night. I know I made the right decision for Bella and I know she would have never made it for herself. She needs to mature. She has to finish growing up before she can truly be in an adult relationship and it would be selfish of me to get in the way of that. If we are ever going to have a future together, we both have to be ready for it first. It isn't just the car accident that triggered this. It's the Mike Newton thing, our inability to communicate with each other, and much more.
By Tuesday afternoon, I'm not feeling so sure of my decision anymore. I miss Bella. I call her, but then I hang up after it rings once. She doesn't call me back and I can't decide if I'm proud of her for that or not.
When Wednesday evening rolls around, I'm feeling like such shit that I try to cancel beer and wing night with Emmett. He persists, whining to me that he hasn't heard from me in days and that he's worried about how I'm dealing with my car accident. I concede and meet him at Eclipse.
"Bella's been pouting in her room all week, man. I don't know what to do. I suck at this guardian shit," Emmett says before he chomps down on a chicken wing.
"I think just be there for her." I carefully dance around the subject because I know exactly why she's been upset, but I can't let Em know that. "Teenage girls are really emotional sometimes. You just have to let them know that you're there for them."
As the words leave my mouth, I know they're just contrived bullshit.
"Did she say anything to you on Sunday?" he asks, looking up at me for answers. "Do you know if something happened?"
"Not that I can recall," I lie and you'd think lying to be my best friend would get easier over time, but it hasn't.
"Okay," he responds, pausing for a beat to collect his thoughts. "Well, how's shit with you? You get things figured out with that chick?"
"Uh, we're taking some time apart. The timing just isn't right." I nervously rub the back of my neck.
"Who dumped who?" Emmett blurts out.
"I broke things off with her," I admit as I take a swig of my beer from the chilled mug in front of me.
"Oh, cool."
We're quiet for a little while after that. I think it's because Emmett is still thinking about Bella and I, well I'm thinking about Bella too but I can't tell him that.
I slice through the silence. "So Jasper's proposing to Alice this weekend, which means I have to go to dinner at the folks' house on Saturday to play the dutiful big brother role."
"About fucking time," Emmett mutters before he wipes the wing sauce off his face. "Well want to go out Friday night? I've got a date with an old girlfriend, you can bring Jasper and Alice along. It'll be fun."
I don't really feel like playing fifth wheel. There's nothing worse than a guy playing fifth wheel to his brother and his best friend, especially fresh off of a breakup.
"C'mon, Eddie. Rosalie's got a friend who you might be interested in. I'll see if she can set you up." Emmett presses.
I was wrong. Rosalie being there would actually be worse. I think the look on my face gives me away.
"You really don't want to go, do you?"
I shake my head no. "Not really."
"I'll buy your drinks?" he offers.
I relent, picking up a chicken wing and nodding my head. He wasn't going to give up anytime soon so I might as well give in now.
"Really? Alright! We'll go bowling. Nothing too crazy. You'll like Jane."
I don't say anything. The thing is Jane could be an incredibly amazing person, but it wouldn't matter. I'm in love with his sister and I'm just politely biding my time until she's ready for me to tell her that again.
Classes for the rest of the week seem to fly by in a sea of monotony and tedium. I find myself not really listening to the lectures, focusing most of my attention on Bella. I think about what I would say to her if she called, what I should have said to her Sunday night if I weren't such an ass who couldn't express my feelings. I start to dread Friday night, even though I know dreading it won't make it come any slower. I don't want to pretend to be okay when I'm around my brother. I don't want to have to make nice with some blind date. I don't really even want to go out anywhere right now.
But alas, Friday night comes and Jasper is sitting on the couch in my living room holding hands with Alice while I search for the car keys to my newly repaired Volvo. My apartment is a disaster. I haven't had the motivation to clean it this week so it takes me a considerable amount of time to find them.
"Got em!" I yell as I snatch them out from underneath a stack of papers on the kitchen table. I've had a little bit to drink already in preparation for tonight so I'm feeling pretty loose.
"Edward, maybe I should drive?" Jasper offers and reaches for the keys in my hand. "You're halfway drunk already."
I open my mouth to protest, but Alice plants her hand on her hip and gives me that look. Dejectedly, I hand Jasper my car keys. She's going to fit into our family rather nicely.
The ride to the bowling alley is interesting, to say the least. Jasper and Alice are cooing all over each other in the front seat of my car while I try not to throw up in the backseat. I tell myself that it's because of the PDA, but it could also be the eight beers. I'll never admit that out loud though. Ever.
"So dinner tomorrow night? Anything I need to know?" Alice asks Jasper as her thumb rubs circles on his hand.
"Nope," he replies coolly. "Just a normal dinner."
He and I both know it's far from a normal dinner and I internally scoff. Only apparently I actually do scoff because Alice turns around and looks at me.
"Something to add, Edward?" She smiles a friendly smile, obviously completely clueless that she's about to get proposed to in 24 hours.
I clear my throat and deflect. "Oh, nothing. Just that Esme picked out a new dining room table so be sure to compliment it." That wasn't a lie. She and Carlisle had been shopping for months.
"See, Jasper! These are the things you have to tell me!"
Jasper looks up into the rearview mirror and smiles knowingly at me. "Sorry, dear."
Once we pull into the parking lot of the bowling alley, I throw the car door open and welcome the fresh air. I can feel my cheeks getting flushed as the alcohol settles into my bloodstream. Emmett, Rosalie, and some girl that I assume is Jane hop out of his Jeep.
I stumble a little bit as I climb out of the car, but I feel like I recover quite nicely so I just push my hands into my jean pockets and wait for an introduction.
"Is he tanked already?" Emmett whispers in Jasper's ear as they greet each other. Clearly they think I don't hear them talking about me, but I've got excellent hearing.
"Eight beers in," my brother replies.
Emmett just shakes his head. "Guys, this is Rosalie and Jane. Ladies, this is my best friend Eddie, his brother Jasper, and Jasper's girlfriend Alice."
I extend my hand to the two of them. "I prefer Edward."
"Edward it is then," Jane says as she lightly shakes my hand and smiles at me. Her voice is nice enough, but it doesn't make my heart stop the way Bella's does when she says my name. She's pretty, blonde and petite. Not really my type at all, but I let it slide because Emmett doesn't really know that my type is Isabella Swan.
"Nice to meet you, Edward." Rosalie pretends this is our first time meeting and I'm glad for that.
"Shall we?" Emmett says as he gestures to the building. Immediately everyone couples up and I'm left lagging behind with Jane as we walk into the front entrance.
She tries her best to make conversation with me, but I'm not really paying her much attention. I realize I'm probably being really rude, but that's probably for the best since I want to make it extremely clear that there will not be a second date. I intend to wait on Bella and I intend to do so chastely.
With my feet laced into the ridiculous looking bowling shoes, I start trying to test out which size bowling ball will work for me. I've got particularly long fingers and it makes the task difficult. As I settle on one and bring it to our lane, Jane comes up behind me carrying a small pink bowling bowl.
"I'm not a very good bowler," she candidly admits to me.
"Neither am I." This is my third time bowling and I was terrible the first two times sober. I can't imagine how egregious I'll be now that I've had a little to drink. The thought reminds me that Emmett said he'd pay for my drinks tonight.
I reach for the pitcher of beer that sits in the middle of our table and pour some into a plastic cup for myself, not even bothering to offer Jane any of it. It tastes like flat Bud Light, but I'm at the point where that doesn't really matter to me anymore.
"I think you've had quite enough," Jasper says as he snatches the cup from my hand and replaces it with one filled with water.
"Like hell," I mutter, sitting the water down in front of me and grabbing the cup from him again. I won't allow my younger brother to treat me like a fucking kid and honestly now that he's trying to monitor my alcohol intake, I fully intend to up the ante with some shots in a few minutes. I'm a spiteful bastard sometimes.
Jane reaches over and pours herself a cup from the pitcher. She makes a sour face as she takes her first sip.
"Here," Rosalie hands Jane a cup of some kind of mixed drink. "I know you hate beer."
"Thanks," Jane smiles sheepishly to her.
After ten frames, my point from earlier has been proven correct. I am even worse at bowling drunk than I am sober. The many beers and the shots that I guilted Emmett into buying are taking their full effect on me and I can't really speak for anyone else, but I'm actually having a great fucking time.
Apparently Jane is too because she's been plopping herself down on my lap and we've been laughing at the others during their turns. The only one of us who is any good is Rosalie, which makes me think that this entire outing must have been her idea. Emmett's bowled three gutterballs in a row, Alice has thrown the ball with both hands every single time, and Jasper is really giving it all his effort but he keeps slipping in his shoes. We're all pretty drunk and it's honestly a shit show, but I'm surprised how much fun I'm having.
"Do not laugh at me," Alice points a finger at Jane and I as she saunters up to the lane for her turn. She takes the ball in both hands, swings it back and between her legs, and then hurls it forward. It lands with a loud thud onto the wood and rolls very slowly towards the pins, only knocking down two of them.
"All that effort for two pins!" I tease her.
"Shut up, Eddie!" She's sure to draw out that last part, my hated nickname that Emmett has imposed upon me. Unfortunately, he's been using it all night and Alice has taken a liking to the way it makes me cringe.
"We should call a cab to take us home once we finish up," Emmett mentions, noticeably realizing that no one is in any condition to drive anymore. "Eddie got hit by a drunk driver last weekend on his way back from taking Bella to the movies. Serious shit."
"Route 70 road doesn't go to the theater and Bella was with him," Rosalie casually mentions as she finishes off her beer. As soon as she realizes what she said, her hand shoots up to cover her mouth.
"What?" Emmett questions her.
"What I meant was that-" Rosalie tries to backtrack, but it's too late.
"Why do you know that, Rose?" Emmett doesn't raise his voice at her, but he's using a very authoritative tone.
"Edward actually hit me on accident on Route 70. I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd freak out about Bella being in the car. She was okay! Not a scratch on her!" Her eyes apologetically gaze on me. She knows she just signed my death warrant.
Jasper catches on quickly, clearing his throat. He tries to put some distance between Em and I for a little while. "Edward, can you join me outside for a minute? I need some fresh air."
"I'll come too," Emmett grits out. I glance at him and I recognize the look on his face very clearly. I don't like that look. I've never been on the receiving end of that look before, but I know damn well what it means. Emmett Swan is fucking pissed. He's pissed and he doesn't even know the worst part yet.
Jane slides off of my lap as I stand up. I knew I'd have to face the music about Bella eventually. I just didn't think that it would be tonight.
As Emmett moves to follow us outside, I can hear Rosalie try and fail to sidetrack him. "Em, I'm feeling kind of dizzy. Do you actually think you could grab me some water?"
"Jane, would you mind?" Emmett says. He's not about to let himself get distracted right now.
Once the chilly night air hits my face, I breathe in deeply. I guess I have this ass-whooping coming to me, but that doesn't mean I want it.
"Just try to explain things to him the best you can," Jasper says as he places a hand on my back and tries to reassure me.
The front door of the bowling alley flings open and my best friend steps through it. I know Emmett well enough to know that it's taking everything he has in him not to lose his control right now. Who could blame him honestly? It's his baby sister and he is her only responsible guardian.
"My first instinct here is to just punch you for lying to me about Bella being in danger." His fist are balled up at his sides as he speaks to me in an even-toned voice. "But considering you're my best friend in the entire world, I feel like I need to give you a chance to explain what happened."
I look at Jasper. I don't really want to explain anything because whatever I say is probably going to make things worse, but he nods at me.
"Tell him, Edward. It'll only be worse if you don't," Jasper urges.
"Tell me what?" Emmett asks, staring me down.
I don't answer.
"Tell me what?!" His voice is much louder this time.
"Bella and I were on the way to my apartment when Rosalie pulled out in front us." I focus my eyes on my shoelaces rather than at Emmett because I don't want to see how he's looking at me right now.
"And why weren't you taking her to the movies?" Emmett is still trying to give me a chance to explain this away.
And shit, do I want to. I've been lying to him for a while now, what's one more? But I can't. This is my chance to come clean and I have to do right by him. My fucked up sense of loyalty won't let me lie. Now all of sudden I seem to have a conscience again. Great.
"Bella and I have been seeing each other for a while now," I whisper quietly to my shoelaces.
"Speak up, Edward," he barks. I can tell he heard me, but he's going to make me say it again.
"We've been seeing each other," I say as I finally look up at Emmett.
He's fuming. "One more time? Because it sounds like you're trying to tell me that you've been screwing around with my 15 year-old sister behind my back and for your fucking sake, I hope that isn't the case."
"Emmett, it just kind of happened. We just kind of fell for each other and I love her. I really do. And I broke it off with her on Sunday," I try to explain, but it falls on deaf ears.
I watch him take a step toward me and Jasper's hand shoots out to Emmett's chest. He tries in vain to protect me by pushing him backwards, but Emmett easily overpowers him.
The first punch goes to my jaw and it stings, but I'm still standing. The second goes to my ribs and I fall to the ground from the shooting pain.
"Emmett, stop!" I can hear Rosalie's voice pleading with him. The girls must have come outside just in time for this part.
I briefly see Jasper try to pry Emmett off of me as I'm lying on the ground with him on top of me. Of course it doesn't work and Emmett's fists elicit blood from my nose and mouth. I don't bother to try to hit back. I know I deserve this.
Once he's satisfied that he's hit me enough, Emmett climbs off of me. He wipes some blood from his hands onto his jeans. "The only reason you're not ending up in a hospital room is because of the friendship we used to have."
As I struggle to stand up and watch him walk away from me, the sad part is that I know what he said is completely true. This could have been much worse for me, but also we are no longer friends.
A/N: As if this wasn't bad enough, things are about to get really angsty up in here! Real fucking angsty because I LOVE THE PAIN!
Maybe it's Adele's new song that's got me feeling this way. Who knows? HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEE!