A/N: Hello all! This little story was done on a whim, so it's probably not very good, but that's alright, I liked so I thought I'd post it. Anyhow, this takes place AU obviously, and it takes place a year after the current story I'm working on with KM. "In The Instant It Vanishes". So, if you like this, give that a look, yeah? Anyhow, on ward!
Disclaimer: I Do not own Harry Potter. JK Rowling does.
XOXO
It started by accident; Remus hadn't meant to snap, he just had. The excitement of their pending graduation, Ave having Sirius's children, and all the talk of family and plans after graduation had just become too much.
"I want to have a son one day!"Lily mused, sitting by the dying fire with Al and Ave. The girls smiled, and conversation continued much to this effect until Remus couldn't take it anymore. He stood up, and made for the door. All eyes focused on him, and Sirius spoke,
"Something wrong, Moony?" He asked, brow lightly furrowed. Remus nodded curtly,
"I need some air." He said without turning. Sirius smiled,
"The idea of kids scare you, Rem?" He questioned. Remus tensed, and spoke snippily,
"Freaks like me don't get to have kids." He said, and he made for the portrait hole. All stared at his back as he left,
"What did that mean?" Ave asked, confused by Remus's outburst. She looked around for answers, but no one was speaking. Al looked at her lap, and Sirius spoke to her,
"I didn't mean to upset him." He said sincerely. She looked up and smiled, though it was somewhat morosely.
"It's alright, I'll go talk to him." She said, standing and heading towards the exit. As she passed James, she was handed the Marauder's Map, to avoid Filch. She nodded in thanks, and headed off towards the astronomy tower, where the map relieved Rem had run off towards. As she climbed the stairs, she could see his lanky form leaning against the railing, facing towards the forest.
"Remus?" She asked quietly. She wasn't honestly sure what to say to him. She knew he was insecure about things, but she hadn't seen him act like this before.
"If you want the same things as Lily and Ave you should go find someone else." He said harshly, never looking back at her.
"Do you think I haven't thought about that?" She spat back, rather vehemently. He turned,
"Thought about what? The future, or lack there of, that you may have with your freak?!" He boomed at her, making her pale and in turn shake lightly.
"You aren't a freak, Rem." She pressed, her voice trembling as though she were on the brink of tears. He furrowed his brow, and moved towards her.
"I'm not a freak? Look at me! I'm 17 years old and have gray hair! I have scars no one can explain, and I have the self-esteem of a small child! I hide behind books so no one can get close to me, and when someone manages to; they find out how fucked up I really am. Am I how you want to waste your life? No one will hire me, I shouldn't have kids, and I shouldn't marry anyone because you'll be a reject in society; just like me. So is that what you want? Truly?" He nearly growled at her, making her wince, though she stood her ground.
"I love you, Remus! Do you think any of that really matters to me!?"She cried, but before she could say anymore, she was cut-off.
"Well, maybe it should matter to you." He said shortly, turning away again, finality hanging in the air. She swallowed, dropped the Marauder's Map, and she spoke once more,
"If that's what you really want." She choked out, and she ran off down the stairs, and all the way back to Gryffindor Tower, and up the stairs to her dorm. When her friends tried to greet her as she passed through the Common Room, and ask what happened, she ignored them completely and kept on running.
That had been three weeks ago, and Al and Remus hadn't spoken since. Whenever he tried to get anywhere near her, Ave and Lily made sure that wasn't possible. He sat near them at dinner one night, sometime during the third week, and he tried to speak to Al. Lily scoffed at him, still angry for what he had said to Al.
"Piss off, Remus." She barked. He winced, and Al looked at her food. James spoke,
"Lils, don't you think that was a bit harsh?" He didn't expect such a harsh response,
"No, James, I don't." She said, standing. She pulled Al out of the Great Hall, closely followed by Ave, who touched Sirius's back lovingly as she passed. James looked mildly put out, and Remus's face was nearly in his food.
"I'm a shit." He groaned miserably. Sirius started to speak, when a voice croaked from another table,
"Brilliant, all of you." Cooed Severus Snape. James started to draw his wand, and Sirius snapped,
"Mind your own damn business, Snivelly." He glared, and Severus smiled,
"I do believe my friends are my business." He said coolly, shrugging slightly as James interjected,
"Lily doesn't view you as such a thing." James didn't care for the look Severus gave him, but regardless, they listened as he spoke again.
"Ah, but Al is another story, hmm?" He said with a grin. Remus lifted his head and looked at him,
"Your point, Severus?" He kept his voice even, but there was an edge to it. Severus smiled,
"My point? Well, you see she confided in me during Potions, but as it seems you don't care, so I'll just keep it to myself." He started to turn away, and Remus nearly knocked over his cup reaching after him,
"Severus, please!" He begged before he could stop himself. He would never beg this boy for anything, but he was desperate right now. Severus turned back towards him, and he sighed, seeming to know he had no other choice then to tell him,
"She doesn't hate you, she isn't even mad at you, she just can't get away from the other two long enough to tell you. Make it up to her." He said turning away again. Remus breathed a slight sigh of relief,
"Glad to hear that." He said gently. Severus stalled for a moment,
"Though, next time, Lupin, I will not help you fix it when you mess up. Take better care of her, she's a good person, and she utterly adores you." And with that, he grabbed his plate and stood, tossing it out before he pushed the doors of the Great Hall open and disappearing back into the dark. Remus smiled lightly, but he still didn't know what to do. James must have been able to read his expression, because he interjected,
"When I mess up with Lily, I always just grovel a bit, and get back in her good graces." He explained, waving his fork around as he spoke. Sirius dodged a near miss with his eye, and he nodded, emphasizing James's point,
"Though, for your own good, I think you should try to catch her without Evans. She seems to want you dead recently."Sirius added with a grin.
"Thank you for the encouragement, Sirius." Remus said flatly.
XOXO
Over the next few days, there would be a rose on the door of the 7th year Gryffindor females' dorm every morning. It shocked everyone when it was for Al; most figured it would have been for Ave or Lily. One morning on the way to breakfast Lily spoke,
"I don't think you should let him apologize." She said bluntly.
"Why not?" Ave questioned, genuinely curious.
"Because he obviously has issues if he would say such things! Maybe he has a split personality!" Lily mused, though Ave seemed skeptical.
"I don't think he's crazy, Lily. I have heard rumors about him though…some people like to think he's a monster." Both of their heads snapped towards Al, as she snorted with laughter, quickly covering her mouth with the hand clutching the rose, and her books with the other being pulled closer to her chest.
"Do you honestly believe Remus is insane or a monster? My awkward, sweet, prefect, bookworm Remus, a monster or crazy? Truly?" She giggled. They looked at her with slightly raised eyebrows,
"Well, if you put it that way.." Lily mumbled. She jumped as James touched her back,
"If you put what what way?" He asked, kissing her good morning. She smiled, and kissed him back, as Al answered,
"They seem to think Remus is a fanatical monster." She said with a grin, as he walked up. She, for the first time in weeks, was actually able to look him in the face. He smiled lightly at her, and he eyed the rose clutched between her fingers. She smiled at him,
"Good morning Rem." She said gently. Lily scowled lightly, but didn't say anything. Before Remus could speak, Al turned on her heel, and made towards the Great Hall, tossing over her shoulder,
"I don't think I've fully forgiven you yet though, so I'll see you around." One could hear the grin in her voice. She just loved to see him squirm, she truly did.
XOXO
The rest of the day, Remus mulled over his options. He didn't know what else to do. He then came up with an idea, well, several. He smiled, and he pulled a fresh seat of parchment, and began to scribble some words down on it, and before he knew it, the words were actually an apology letter.
Al,
I cannot express how truly sorry I am for what I said to you. You deserve better then that, and if you could ever forgive me, I'd do anything in my power to make up for my transgression. These few weeks without you haven't been the same, and I cannot deal without you in my life. I do not know what I did for all the years I didn't have you, and I don't want to know what my life would be like without you. So, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I shall make it up to you, I promise. I truly am sorry, love.
Eternally Yours,
Remus.
He would admit he was pleased with the letter. He also had something planned for dinner, and he hoped beyond hope he could get her to forgive him.
Later that evening, Al returned to her room, to find a letter on her bed. She didn't know who had left it there, but she could tell by the elegantly simple penmanship on the front whom that it was from. As she opened it, and read over it, her eyes filled with tears, and she clutched the letter to her chest. She wiped her eyes, and she placed the letter under her pillow, and she fixed her slightly smudged make up, and headed down to dinner. She met Ave and Lily part of the way down, and she didn't mention the letter. As she was walking in, she spied the males at the table, but she didn't seem a lanky blond seated with them. She thought about the days for a second, and she knew it wasn't the full moon yet, and she relaxed a bit. It was getting close, and there was a chance he wasn't feeling well. It dawned on her then he could be suffering somewhere, and she wasn't there. She felt her breathing hitch, and Lily and Ave looked at her with a raised eyebrow,
"Something wrong?" They asked her as they all sat. She looked to James and Sirius,
"Where's Remus?" She asked, almost sounding urgent. James smiled lightly and pointed behind her. She turned swiftly, and she came face to face with a kneeling Remus. She felt her face tint pink as he leaned forward and kissed her hand, still down on one knee.
"I'm an idiot." He said, as he lifted his head lightly. She smiled, and her face grew pinker as he began to speak again,
"I'm sorry, Al. I truly am. I shouldn't have said any of the things I said." She could see the truth behind his eyes, though she never doubted it to begin with. She felt her eyes well with tears, and she shook her head, speaking lightly,
"It's okay Rem." She said, her voice cracking lightly. She hadn't realized how much she had missed him until now. He returned,
"No, it isn't okay. You are too kind to me, and I don't deserve it." He said humbly, lowering his head lightly, a shadow falling over his beautiful face. Al touched his cheek, and she lifted his face back to hers, and she leaned into kiss him. He smiled lightly, and he returned the kiss. By this point, most of the Great Hall was watching them, and some of them cheered lightly as they kissed, and Remus's face began to heat up to a slightly red tint as they broke off. He laughed lightly, and he climbed to his feet, taking a seat next to her. He leaned into her ear, and whispered,
"I love you." And she smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder,
"I love you too, Remus."
-Fin.