This is my first light-hearted Channy fanfic, so please tell me if you think something's not right about Chad's narrative, or if you think he's OOC at times. All constructive critiscm is taken on board!

Disclaimer (which I keep forgetting :p ): I do not own Sonny With A Chance (T-T If only dreams were real) or any of the related characters – and I also do not in any way own Twilight or Edward Cullen.

Chad With A Chance Of Sparkling

A shrill beep from his computer made him look up at the screen, where the flashing message in the corner told him he had a new e-mail. Half-interested, Chad opened up his emails, clicking on the one unread message in his crowded inbox, glancing at the address of the sender, unfamiliar to him. Another fan. A quick scan of the message and he was already bored. Just another chain mail message telling him yet again how to win the heart of his crush. Lately there seemed to be an influx of emails giving him tips on how to make someone fall in love with him. The reason, he couldn't guess. After all, Chad Dylan Cooper didn't do crushes. He would have expected his fans to know that much, at least. Otherwise they were hardly devoted, were they? With an exasperated sigh to the empty dressing room, he was about to close the window when a knock from the door echoed around the room. Minimizing the screen, he took his time to stroll over to the door, opening it with a dramatic flourish, revealing a glowering Sonny Munroe.

"Chad Dylan Cooper, you are the most obnoxious, pretentious jerk I've ever met!"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Well, thank you."

She pursed her lips, brushing past him into his room with a toss of her head. He found his eyes automatically following her as she walked, noting the way her gleaming chestnut hair swung gently as she strode, the way her hazel eyes sparkled in the bright light, the way...Wait, what on Earth was he doing?! He couldn't look at Sonny Munroe like that. That would imply, well...Shaking his head as he turned to face her, she glared at him from the centre of the room, hands on her hips.

"I can't believe you'd do something like this!"

His brow furrowed. Ok, she had officially gone completely and utterly nuts. Not that she wasn't slightly odd before, but...

"Do what?"

She clenched her teeth, thrusting the latest issue of Tween Weekly out in front of him with a shaking hand. He gave an amused snort.

"You actually read that stuff?"

Choosing not to reply to his comment, she took a deep breath, trying desperately to hold on to the anger that seemed to melt away whenever she was confronted with his blue-eyed smile. He gave a long-suffering sigh, turning his attention to the magazine she was holding. Gradually a bigger and bigger smile spread across his face, until he was grinning from ear-to-ear. Slowly, he returned his gaze to hers.

"You saw that, huh."

"Yes. I did." Her voice was barely under control, her usually-warm eyes flashing. "I can't believe you'd do this to me! I trusted you to keep a secret! I guess I was wrong, huh?"

Her face was bitter, eyes gleaming with unshed tears. Oops. Maybe his joke had gone a bit too far.

He took a step forwards, closer to the hunched figure standing next to his laptop.

"Sonny – "

She shook her head abruptly, pushing him back with suprising strength. Snapping her chin back up with a proud defiance, she bit her lip, closing her eyes, trying not to let the tears start running.

"No, Chad. I don't even know how I could have deluded myself enough to tell you stuff like that.

More fool me. More fool me."

With a last glance she ran past him, turning her head to the side so that Chad couldn't see the tear fall down her cheek. She was out of sight before he could even make a move to follow her. The room seemed so quiet and empty without her. Compared to their previous argument, the silence was deafening. Sitting down in his chair with a thump, he glanced back once again at the screen, where the one unread message lay waiting. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. Opening up the file once again, he rested his head on hands as he read.

Do you want to win the heart of that one special someone? Well then, all you have to do is follow these seven easy steps to become the perfect man.

This sounded promising – just seven steps?

Give her smouldering looks from across the cafeteria

Easy. If not slightly weird.

Take her to a baseball game

Well, that would be simple. But a baseball game? Really?

Save her from a car.

How on earth was he supposed to manage that? No car was going to just conveniently almost run her over, was it? Portlyn's golf cart would have to do. Everything else aside, this list was beginning to sound oddly reminiscent of someone. A very unpleasant someone.

Take her to a restaurant

So there was at least one normal condition on this list. Praise the Lord.

Take her to a meadow

Again with the weirdness. Who would want to go to some sissy, girly meadow? What would they do, have a picnic? What kind of lame, gross, grass-stain full idea was that?

Take her to meet your family

Now that was a deal-breaker. Family. Hm. Could be tricky. His little brother would probably send her running, not to even start on his parents. His mom. The thought sent shivers down his spine. Well, he would cross that bridge when he came to it. If he came to it.

Take her to prom

Prom. Loud, noisy, alcohol-filled, drugged-teen prom. Sounded like a ball of fun. His only hope was that somewhere in the crowd, Sonny wouldn't get mugged.

PS: This list is based off of the amazingly hot, fantastic, gorgeous, sexy Edward Cullen.

His mouth could have fallen off of his head. Edward Cullen? That freaky vamp from Twinight or whatever it was called? How could anyone base the perfect boyfriend on someone who was a fictional character – and stuff that, so obviously gay? Okay, someone like Zac Efron or Chase Crawford he would have accepted – hated, but accepted. But Edward Cullen? Honestly? He was a creepy, blood-sucking, stalker. I mean, who would follow their girlfriend in a car everywhere they went just to make sure they weren't hooking up with other guys or falling off cliffs? Jeez. Overprotective or what? He had half a mind to write an angry email of complaint to the fan – or get one of his PR people to do it – but the nagging voice in the back of his head wouldn't go away. If so many girls liked this Edward then he could hardly be that bad, could he? Could he? Maybe he could... Maybe the entire female population had been brainwashed by the evil Stephenie Meyer as part of her plan to dominate the world with her books... or maybe that was just the result of his overactive imagination and very wishful thinking. With a sigh, he closed the screen. The petulant scowl on his face grew more pronounced. He couldn't believe he was doing this... But Operation Sparkle was go.

I have absolutely nothing against Edward Cullen or Twilight at all – in fact, I love them ^^ but Chad hates them. Sooo – can we go for five reviews? And then I'll update. ^^ Thankies!