A/N: This story is a cute idea I came up with while writing other stories. It will be posted on probably a little slower than anything else I put up because I'll be writing it on the side, but I'll still try to update within a reasonable amount of time. Hope you enjoy this first part.
Dear new penpal,
My name is Merlin Emrys. I live in the United States of America. I'm 18 years old and live in a big city. I grew up in a small town, but moved to the city to start college. I am currently a junior at my university. They told us to tell you two interesting facts about us, so here I go. I am three years ahead of my grade in school, and I'm working to cure cancer. If those aren't interesting – I have a cat named Dragon and I ask him for advice all the time.
I'm excited about starting this letter relationship. I've never had a penpal before. I hope we can become at least good acquaintances. Write back soon, my friend.
Merlin
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Merlin,
If countries were people, the United States of America would be a self-absorbed tosser wearing an over exaggerating speedo and showing off medically perfected abs and teeth. They'd be stupid too.
You're a child, and you're a super-genius freak. Why would anyone want to jump into school with people three years and older than them? We will never be friends. You're an idiot.
Cancer is a stupid goal. Why don't you try something more doable, like fixing world hunger? You're an idiot.
You talk to animals? I'll be sure to call you next time Ace Ventura is unavailable. You're an idiot.
Penpals are overrated, as I'm sure you're realizing. Were you forced to do this or did you do it voluntarily?
New Penpal
P.s. You're an idiot.
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Dear New Penpal,
You're an asshole.
Merlin
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Merlin,
I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.
Arthur