I am known as loner, but I don't like being alone, so I would go out.

I would join in celebrations, but not to celebrate. I never celebrated justice being served. I just wanted to belong for however long the party lasted.

I had developed the bad habit of drowning my sorrows in private, and I know that is something that deeply troubles my team.

I had been relaxing in my hotel room debating on getting room service or going out to eat when Stella had called and asked me to join her team for drinks. I think I quickly agreed to her proposal because I didn't want to spend another night in New York alone.

I had seen Mac arrive at the bar while I was outside indulging in my one vice. He had regarded me with a raised eyebrow and I had shrugged my shoulders in return, but stayed outside to finish my cigar.

When I had returned inside, the only place at the bar was between Mac and Don Flack. I ignored my body's growing attraction to Mac by enjoying several beers and regaling Don with stories from my old days in the NYPD.

I was as astonished as he was when Mac invited me back to his place after everyone had headed home. I was even secretly glad, because I hadn't wanted the evening to end.

We had a few more drinks; me partaking of his bourbon and him enjoying a rare Scotch on the rocks. I had chuckled when he broke out his old vinyl collection, and we listened to it while we talked about everything and then some.

It was nice to just be with someone who understood the loneliness that comes with being a dedicated police officer; the sacrifice of a personal life in the pursuit of justice.

I wasn't surprise to discover that he had been a lieutenant in the Marine Corps. His body language had screamed military from the moment I had laid eyes on him.

At some point, I caught him staring at me, his gray eyes locking with my blue ones, so I leaned into his personal space and kissed him. It was a brief kiss with my dry lips brushing against his soft ones mixing the tastes of bourbon and scotch together.

We had barely separated when I asked him if he wanted to take it further, and with a slight nod I was being led down the hallway to his bedroom.

I spared it a brief glance noting that it was uniquely his even with the slight feminine touches that remained from the time that Mac had shared the room with his wife. It was a sanctuary away from the world and all its troubles, and something that I didn't have.

I laid him down on the bed with its navy blue comforter and slowly undressed Mac enjoying the sounds I drew from him as I worshipped his body as we made love.

Afterward, I held him and listened as he told me about his wife and the never ending pain of losing her in the Towers. I then let my guard down allowing Mac to see in my soul and finding in me someone who understood his loss.

I watched over him as he grieved and then fell into a sound sleep.

When he woke a few hours later, he smiled at me and I knew he had made peace with his past. I allowed him to pull me into a gentle kiss safe in the knowledge that I wasn't going to become a one night stand.

That was six months ago.

We've been together ever since.