A/N: 'Porphyrophobic Grape' the names are done surname first, like in the books. 'JK' Dumbledore is going to be the last sorting in the fic.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, all related characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.
Chapter Thirty-Four: Fudge, Cornelius
At last I had managed to get the attention of most people in the hall. Some of them had started to mutter amongst themselves about the previous sortings that I had told, and whether they were next. Fudge was one of the names that most of them, if not all, knew. You don't become Minister of Magic without people knowing your name, something that he had been quite picky about.
"Fudge, Cornelius." A boy, slightly bigger around the waist that my other sortings so far that year, came walking up to me. He had an unmistakable air of 'better than you' wafting around him. It was so strong that I was surprised the students did not start coughing and holding their noses. He jammed me on his head hard and I think I felt another one of my stitches come loose. He spoke immediately, not even giving me a chance.
Well, why haven't you sorted me yet?
Huh?
Sorting, you know, the thing that you are supposed to do... Why have you not done it yet?
Hey! It takes longer than that! Though from your tone I think I know which you are going in...
Then put me in it. What are you waiting for?
Err...
Err what?
Don't you actually have layers?
What?
Don't you have layers, you know, of your personality. Most people can go into more than one house.
Who says that I can't!
Well, at the moment, me. You're breathing Slytherin.
Then put me in there.
Hah! As if you would get to where you want to be if I did. Sure, you might benefit from the cunning you could learn there but most people do not trust anyone from Slytherin.
You don't know what I want to do...
What? Be Minister of Magic? 'Taking the silence from him as either confusion or anger, I continued.' Now, you see, you should be in a different house really, if you want the adorning public to support you.
Why do they need to support me?
Why? That's obvious. They could overthrow you if you weren't popular. It might not even get you in the seat.
Really? 'I was pleased to hear the slight waver in his thoughts. After all, he had not been nice to me at the start of the sorting, so why would I be to him at the end?'
Yes really.
Oh, urrm, oh.
So, which house do you want to be in?
I don't know. Which one would get me Minister of Magic?
How am I supposed to know? If I did, which I just might, why would I tell you?
Because that's your job.
Nope, I'm here to sort you into the house you are supposed to be in, not to give you information.
Please tell me, how do I get the public to like me?
Become more truthful, a bit of smartness wouldn't go astray either. Treat them like actual people and maybe become slightly, well, a lot, more confidence. You can't just be Minister by sitting around. You would have to have a public image. Preferably a good one. Think you can do that?
Maybe.
Is that it, maybe? Okay then, I suppose I should sort you- though I would have thought that you could make more of an effort, I just gave you advice, though I don't know why if you are not even interested in it.
"Hufflepuff!"
There were quite a few confused faces in the students, and some smirking ones amongst the teachers. This was not my intention but I might as well grab the opportunity and make them smirk even more... Umbridge, Dolores
A/N: The next chapter will only make sense if you have read book five. After that, it should go back to book four characters and below.