Author's Note: This is what happens when you stay up til one AM with your word processor on and you're bored. Thirteen ways Roxas could have left the Organization... or not. Muahaha....
Warning: Axel has a reeally bad potty mouth… and come to think about it, so does Roxas. And Axel has just a few… well, um… dirty urges?
Disclaimer: oh, Kingdom Hearts, will you be mine? No? Dammit.
The Night He Left
1.
Roxas's footsteps echoed off the skyscrapers as he headed farther into the gloom.
"No one will miss me," he muttered to himself, clenching his teeth.
Silence was the only thing that answered him.
Turning, he stopped and glared back at the Castle That Never Was. Axel was probably still somewhere in there either snoring in his quarters, or stuffing his face with the boxes of sea-salt ice cream that Roxas had used his munny to buy, thank you very much.
"No one will miss me," he repeated.
The silence apparently agreed with him, because it said nothing.
"Damn it, Axel." Roxas turned back and began to walk farther into the Dark City. "I'm getting my own ice cream, and you can't have any."
2.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "No one would miss me."
Axel paused, then folded his arms, glaring at the back of Roxas's head. "The hell they aren't, you little asshole! You stole all my fangirls!"
3.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "No one would miss me."
"What?!" Axel looked like he'd been shot. "Hell, I would! Who's gonna buy my ice cream?!"
4.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "Nobody would miss me."
Axel raised an eyebrow. "Which Nobody?"
5.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "No one would miss me."
Axel jaw dropped in shock. "B-but, Roxas…!" Then he suddenly remembered his most recent practical joke, and regretted it immediately. "Roxas, that "It's over" note-- I was just kidding!"
6.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "No one would miss me."
"That's not true… I would…" Axel said in a strangely seductive tone.
Roxas turned. "Oh dear God, Axel…" -- he slapped a hand over his eyes -- "Put your coat back on. Your pants and boxers, too. Please."
7.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "No one would miss me."
Groaning, Axel smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Oh, hell, not this again." He turned and marched back toward the Castle without even a glance back. "I told you already, Rox, if you pull the emo thing on me, you can forget it. For God's sake, go hang out with Zexion or something!"
8.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "No one would miss me."
"What the hell, Roxas?!" Axel yelled. "Nobody gives a shit that you lost a card game to Luxord! Everyone loses card games to Luxord!"
"I guess they didn't tell you what card game it was then."
Axel narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"
"I lost strip poker."
Axel jaw dropped. He opened his mouth, then closed it without saying anything, then finally disappeared into a portal of darkness without another word.
"I told you," Roxas muttered, then left.
9.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "No one would miss me."
Axel's face fell and his hands dropped to his sides, his shoulders drooping. "That's not true…"
"What?" Roxas snapped, whirling back, his voice sharp and his face growing red. "What did you say?"
Axel blinked. "I just said it wasn't true…"
"Are you calling me a liar?!"
"N-no, I just--"
A long, drawn-out "Arrrrghhhh!" and the sound of swooshing metal reverberated through the Dark City before everything fell eerily silent. No one ever found out what caused Number Eight's untimely demise.
10.
Roxas yanked on his restraints for the thousandth time, but they were just as tight as before. The metal gurney was icy cold beneath him and to make matters worse, he was just about to pee in his pants. Or boxers rather, since Axel stole his pants.
"It's cold, Axel," he whimpered to the redhead, who was standing five feet away with his back turned. "Can't you at least give me my coat back?"
Axel whirled and marched to the gurney, standing over Roxas with a fiery glare. "I told you I wasn't going to let you leave, and I mean what I say! N-E-V-E-R, got it memorized?"
Roxas avoided eye contact. "No one will miss me…" he muttered. Before he could react, his lips were smothered in a hot, passionate kiss.
Ten seconds later, Number Thirteen's scream of horror could be heard in every corner of the Castle That Never Was.
11.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "No one would miss me."
Silence.
"Jeez, Axel," Roxas said, turning, "You could at least say it wasn't true -- …"
He stopped dead when he saw his best friend's body lying crumpled and motionless at the foot of a tower. "Axel?"
No response.
He summoned his Keyblades and took a step closer, but the sudden feeling of cold metal touching the back of his neck made him jolt and freeze in his tracks.
"Don't move. Turn around slowly."
Roxas turned slowly to see a blind-folded, silver-haired figure dressed in an Organization coat holding a sword to his throat. "Oh, sh--" was as far as he got before everything went dark.
12.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "No one would --" He suddenly broke off and looked up into the golden eyes of Xemnas, who frowned down at him from the entrance of the Alley in Between.
"…Fuck. Hello, Superior."
"Told you I wouldn't let you leave!" Axel's voice called from somewhere far away.
"Shut up, Axel!"
13.
Axel's voice echoed off the skyscrapers as he called out into the darkness. "You can't turn on the Organization! They'll eliminate you!"
Roxas didn't even bother to stop. His voice slowly whispered back, quiet as a ghost. "No one would miss me."
"Roxas, stop being such an dumbass--"
Roxas whirled, face bright red. "Goddammit, Axel! Do you not know the meaning of the word "climax"? Don't you know that this is the emotional high point of this scene? Don't you know that this is where we start? Don't you know that this is the scene that hooks all of our fangirls and makes us who we are? Can't you just shut the hell up for once?!" Huffing, he stomped off into the darkness, leaving Axel alone in the Dark City with his mouth wide open.
Author's Note: See? Sleep deprivation isn't all that bad. Cookies to those who review!!