A/N I don't know why this story is so hard to write. The characters always seem not themselves and the plot feels strange. Probably because I'm not the typical romance writer. There's also the fact of this chapter, which is undeniably sub-par. Sorry for it, I couldn't work out anything else in my mind. Is it too short? Too long? Please tell me anything, I love feedback.

Thanks to the reviewers, you made my day by sending those lovely sentences in. Maybe you could send some more in? =D

Disclaimer: Let's be reasonable now, shall we?

Chapter 1

"Dude, are you serious?" Loud, rambunctious laughter combined with the sour smell of beer was thrown in Toganou's face.

Taking a swig from his own jug, Toganou grinned foolishly. "Fuck off." He said, still grinning like an idiot.

"I can't believe you're working for that girl!" The man in the business suit in front of him continued on, barking out an order for his third refill in the meantime. "It sure is a small world, hey?"

"Small my ass." Toganou nodded at the pretty little bartender who came and collected their empty jugs. "Speaking of asses…" He stared as the little bartender walked off, happily oblivious.

A hand came out of nowhere to push him back roughly. "Hey, that's my girlfriend, dumbass!" Kuroki angrily shouted as Toganou wobbled on his chair for a while.

"With that face, I'm surprised." Toganou earned another rough push from his long-time friend. Grinning again, he looked at the guy in front of him, remembering all the stupid shit they'd gotten into. And now where were they? Juumonji, who wasn't there, was one of those high school gym teachers who constantly belted out "Back in my day, we ran up the whole fucking Tokyo Tower with a bag of ice cubes on our back in the middle of a sweltering heat wave, so shut you little traps, whiners!" and made small, defenceless children cry.

Kuroki, now dressed smartly in a suit with a briefcase and everything, was a loan shark from the shadier side of town. Cruel and reckless, he was the one who they sent to break down doors and order the payment that was long overdue. After work, he usually went to the bar to hang out and pick up girls. Despite his flirty nature, though, it was Juumonji who got the most girls, surprisingly. It probably had to do with his face.

And there he was, sitting in the dim little bar, getting stone-cold drunk like he always did whenever he met up with Kuroki. A poor, lonely manga assistant who had nothing better to do than call up his buddies and go out bar-hopping. It was a sad life, but it was his.

Chugging down his beer, Toganou felt the world around him swirl. Blinking rapidly, he knew it was time to leave. It was always time to leave when the world stopped turning and started heaving like he did in the mornings after a long night out.

Paying the pretty little bartender, he bid his friend goodbye. Kuroki would go on until the bar closed, Toganou knew. He wasn't an alcoholic, but boy could he drink. And that was why they didn't go out drinking too often. Most times Kuroki would spend half of his monthly rent on the bill, and it would be another month or two before he could start eating solid food again.

Stumbling out onto the street, Toganou stared drowsily at the wide open sky above him. He had had such a bright future once. They all did. But now…

He could hear Kuroki shouting from inside the bar. He knew that Juumonji was probably getting it on with the History teacher he had been talking about when they had met up at a party a week ago. He himself would probably drop onto his bed later in the morning and wake up smelling like booze and sweat.

Sadly, the drunken Toganou knew that he would never amount to anything in life. It had always been this way. From being a high school delinquent to the drop-out from college. His buddies, especially Juumonji, would most likely live it rough for the next few years, but die old and happy.

The way he was living, though, meant that very very soon he would die middle-aged, broke, starving, and homeless. These depressing thoughts filled his mind as he slowly started walking home.

"Heeeeey!" The loud slur of words woke Toganou. Blinking, he realized that he had fallen asleep against a lamppost on his way home. Looking up at the sky, he noticed that it was still dark. How long had he been asleep?

"Didn'tcha hear me?" Came the obnoxious slurring again. Detaching himself from the lamppost, Toganou looked behind him.

Of course.

"Kuroki, what the hell are you doing?" He stared, still a little woozy, at his friend.

Kuroki just grinned. God, he was stoned.

"You wanna have some fun?" He grinned. "Just like old times?"

Toganou opened his mouth to say no.

Something in his mind changed before he could, though. It was that look in Kuroki's eyes. That look of defeat. It seemed to be the exact same one he saw in the mirror every day. And suddenly, he knew.

He knew why Kuroki always got as drunk as a sailor. He knew why Kuroki always overreacted and didn't give a shit about what else happened.

Kuroki knew from a long time that he would never be anyone special in the world. So he was determined to live every bit of his life to the fullest, even if he had to live it stupidly.

Toganou shut his mouth. A grin fought a way onto his face, half out of alcohol and half out of amusement.

He was just good for nothing trash. That was obvious. But sometimes, staring at his best friend who was feeling the same thing, the same way, it didn't feel so bad anymore.

Toganou didn't go back to sleep that night.

"Good morning!" Chirped the voice from down inside the hallway. Toganou just grunted in response while shutting the door. He had received a key to the apartment the day before, and he was angrily pushing it into his pocket as he trudged through the sunny hallway.

Growling at every window he passed, he wondered if this was what Kuroki had to endure every morning. He had never been as crazy as he had the night before, running through the streets creating havoc and drinking beer until he felt like puking. Which he did not long after the morning sun rose. He then retreated back to his hellhole, to find that he was too hung over to sleep and too hung over to be awake.

Four hours later, he was disheveled, grumpy, tired, and still hung over. Not to mention smelly as hell.

Rubbing his eyes, he tried to find an excuse for his sad state. He found nothing. By the time he was at the study, staring into that innocent face, he could only blink at the big huge window that was hanging right above her desk.

At that moment, he was pretty sure he knew how Dracula felt.

"Are you okay?" Karin looked up through her glasses at the half-dead… creature in front of her. Worried, she was about to get up and pour him a glass of water when he walked closer to her desk with a blank look on his face.

Confused, she watched him approach her desk.

"Can I… close that window?" His voice was hoarse and dry.

Karin hurriedly stood up and shut the blinds, worried about her assistant's health. Sure, she had only seen and worked with him a couple of times, but that was enough to know that he wasn't in a stable condition.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" She asked as he slumped down in his desk and looked dead.

"No thank you." He mumbled, putting his head in his hands and groaning.

Ignoring him, she moved to the kitchen to pour them both some water. When she returned, though, he was gone.

"Eh… Toganou-kun?" She called out, setting the two glasses on the spare desk. He had insisted against the 'Toganou-san', and she had agreed only on the terms that he wouldn't call her 'Karin-san'. Still, his name felt weird on her tongue.

Weird, but kind of nice as well. For a split second, she wondered if the name 'Shouzo' would feel nice too.

Shaking her head, she tried to tame her flaming cheeks as she went through the rooms, calling out his name softly.

Finally, she found him, in the middle of the bathroom, slumped against a wall, fast asleep. Smiling lightly, she prodded his shoulder lightly.

"Huh?" He opened his eyes halfway and regarded her sleepily. She resisted the urge to pet him and hug him like a pet or a baby brother.

"Toganou-kun, are you sleepy?" She smiled at his bewildered look.

"How did you know?" His words sounded a little slurred, as if he was still half-asleep.

"Come with me and I'll find you a better place to sleep, okay?" Karin pulled on the puppy-like Toganou's sleeve.

Not replying, Toganou let himself be slowly pulled up and into another room. He vaguely suspected that it was her bedroom, but then he felt himself falling onto that soft, soft bed and some nice smelling sheets covering him and…

Karin smothered a giggle as she heard a faint snore before she was even out the door. Closing the door, she headed back to the study to get some work done.

Toganou opened his eyes to see a pink ceiling.

He almost screamed.

Taking a deep breath, Toganou tried to remember where he was and why the hell he was there in the first place.

As he sat there in that purple bed with nice smelling sheets over him, bits and pieces of what had happened came back to him.

Running through the streets howling and screaming with Kuroki half-naked… Feeling like Dracula when he came to work… Falling asleep while trying to wash his hands… Karin…

Oh fuck. Karin.

Scrambling out of the bed, Toganou shivered all over. He had just slept… in his bosses' bed. He felt like screaming. Again. And then maybe after screaming his head off he'd go and puke.

Face twitching, he breathed in and out quickly, trying to calm his nerves. This was just way too creepy. Even for him, the one that lived on dark, creepy manga. This was real. And it was freaking him out.

Trying to rid his mind of the mental image of Karin sleeping in her bed, he closed his eyes and reached for the door. Anything to get out of there.

When he finally got back into the hallway of death, he breathed a sigh of relief. There was a limit to how close two people could get after just meeting. Especially if the two people had a business relationship. It'd be like sleeping in Kuroki's bed or something.

His brain screamed again for the unneeded mental pictures. He presently went to the bathroom and slammed his head against the wall a few times.

"Toganou-kun?"

Freezing, he stopped his head-banging to listen to the voice just outside his door. Poking his screaming head out, he stared at Karin.

"Is there something wrong? I hear a lot of banging." She stared up at him worriedly.

"No, nothing at all." Toganou's eyes drifted to the door of the open bedroom. He kicked himself behind the door.

"Oh, good." She smiled that sweet smile at him and he felt his insides turn. "Did you get enough sleep last night?" She asked him, taking off her glasses.

Toganou drew a blank. Thinking quickly, he said the first thing that came to mind. "There were some idiots fooling around and screaming in the early morning." He grunted.

She frowned. "Oh, I hate those kind of people. Don't they have any common courtesy for others?"

Toganou felt himself blush. "Yeah. They're really rude." Fiddling with the door handle, he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh, listen. I kind of want to go to the bathroom…"

A red heat wave struck Karin's face as she backed away. "Oh, yeah. Sure. Sorry about bothering you, take you time to do, uh, whatever you want to do. Not that I want to know." She babbled nervously, still backing up.

Toganou just nodded slowly as he shut the door. Sighing, he leaned against it, shutting his eyes.

Breathing a breath of relief, Karin closed the door to her bedroom and slumped against it. Closing her eyes, she put her hands over her cheeks.

The only thoughts that they had running through their minds was the amazement that their hearts could beat so fast.

"Sorry about today." Toganou mumbled as he filled in the background effects for one of the chapters.

"Hm?" Karin, absorbed in her work, replied absentmindedly.

"Nothing." Coughed Toganou.

They sat in silence, the only sounds of life coming from scratching pens and rustling paper.

"When is this being issued?" Toganou asked, unable to stand the silence.

Karin paused to check the calendar that hung above Toganou's head. "Next next week, on the 17th. I'm getting colour pages for my first chapter, so we've got two weeks to get it done. I plan on finishing chapter two and a bit of chapter three these two weeks as well, even though my editor says to beware of what the readers vote for." She chattered happily.

Staring at her, Toganou felt all his doubts wash away. This girl was going to make it. She was hardworking and stubborn as hell, as well as positive and upbeat about everything.

But most of all, she loved what she was doing.

A bitter smile on his lips, Toganou found the answer to the night before's drunken philosophy. He had failed everything that he touched. School, manga, even girls.

It was because he never loved any of those things. The two things that he had ever loved, though, came out differently.

His trash friends. They were still together and as stupid and hot-headed as ever, but that didn't stop them in the tiniest bit. He had a suspicious feeling that they all might even cry if one of them died.

And the other one. American Football. It had been his life, his passion, his… dream.

And now it was just his past.

What had he done wrong? Where did he step off of the rails of reality headfirst into the barrel of failure?

Lazily inking as he was thinking, Toganou decided that he needed to stop drinking with Kuroki. For one, he got severe headaches and he didn't think he would be able to digest anything anytime soon. And the other reason was definitely that he got all philosophical. He didn't need a Dr. Phil in his life, especially if that Dr. Phil was himself.

Grimacing, he took a drink of the glass of water in front of him. Eyes traveling to his right, he watched as Karin worked diligently on her art, face scrunching up in concentration.

Under the dim light that poured in from the closed blinds, her hair gave off the slightest glisten as she moved her head, mumbling words to herself.

Toganou felt himself take a sharp breath in.

She was beautiful.

Suddenly, he felt water dribbling on his chin. Jumping up, he held the empty glass in one hand as he tried to dry himself hastily with the other. Cursing, he proceeded to cause more mayhem as he knocked over a pile of papers.

As Karin came over to fret and try to help him, Toganou made himself a promise.

Yup, he definitely should stop drinking with Kuroki.