"Soo... sorry again about stabbing you." Dean smiled sheepishly.
"It's okay. You didn't know me at the time."
"And hey, sorry about never offering Cas a burger or something when he visited. If I had known you were hungry - "
"Cas wouldn't have eaten anyway. But thanks."
Dean looked down at the table for a long time before speaking again.
"I... um, before Sam gets back, I wanted to apologize for ... you know." Guilt and shame seeped across Dean's features as he glanced quickly at Jimmy to make sure he knew what he meant.
"Yeah, that," Jimmy said softly.
"I had no right, man," Dean said, self-loathing palpable, "I knew a human was in there, and I did it anyway."
"It was just a kiss, Dean. A sweet, chaste kiss."
Dean gave him a look that said, 'This is not the time to BS me' and Jimmy amended, "Okay, a really hot not-chaste-at-all kiss. Seriously, Dean, you're very talented with that tongue."
Dean sighed. "You don't have to do that Jimmy - make a joke of it. I have never forced myself on anyone in any way and -"
"I gave my permission," Jimmy said.
"To let Cas use your body to fight for good, not for me to.." Dean trailed off as his eyes shaded over with guilt and regret. Jimmy could see the thoughts running through his mind as he tightened his jaw. Dean. Feeling unworthy. Like his crimes will never be atoned for.
"Dean. Before you kissed me, Cas asked me specifically if it would be okay. And he never asks permission for anything, except when he chose my body in the first place. But he asked if I wanted to kiss you. And I said yes. In fact...I said that he could do anything he wanted with you." Jimmy waited to gauge Dean's reaction to this, unsure.
Dean looked astounded. "But.... why?"
Jimmy chuckled, or something similar. There were so many answers to that question that he wasn't sure where to start.
The good man Jimmy used to be - before Cas and company turned him into a bitter old man before his time -- would have just reassured Dean that everything was sweetness and roses. But this Jimmy started with the cynical. "Because Cas has a full-time lease, and you're pretty much the only way I'm getting laid in the next thousand years, Dean."
Dean laughed. He looked actually relieved, and Jimmy continued, "And because if I have to feel fire and blades and ice and acid and everything else, then I deserve to feel some pleasure too. And Cas deserves a little comfort. And maybe at some level, despite everything, I still trust him. I trust him with my body. And obviously, Dean, I trust you with it, too."
Dean's head signalled no as he said, "That's probably not a good idea, buddy."
"Look, Dean, I ... I'm stuck. Cas will be back soon enough and I'm stuck with him. And... one of the few comforts in that is, one of the few things that remind me that I'm human, is what Cas feels for you. So I know you feel guilty. About Cas, about hell, about everything. But don't feel guilty about me, Dean. You're the best thing that's happened to my body since it became a Wing Motel. And Cas is ... well, he's Cas. I gets pretty lonely in there. Disconnected. Except for you. So don't feel guilty on my account, Dean, because I really, really need you to offer me something other than your guilt."
Jimmy waited for Dean to react, wondering if he was being ridiculous. Wondering if he was some middle-aged perv who was crazy to think that Dean had any desire for him. It was just Cas who Dean liked, of course, not his 'vessel'. And who was Jimmy to make demands on the poor guy - as if he didn't have enough on his plate....
But Jimmy was sick of silently suffering, and soon enough he wouldn't be able to say any of this to Dean. So even if Dean told him no, told him to keep his pervy needs away from their special precious Dean-Cas relationship, at least Jimmy had finally gotten to tell Dean what he thought. He finally got a chance to use his own mouth to form his own words to express his own wants.
Damn, did he miss that. He really should have been more demanding back when he was just nice-guy Jimmy. Should have shouted his desires from the rooftops. Instead of now, when he babbles like a crazy man to Dean, who was probably spending the whole conversation wishing Cas would come back and make Jimmy shut the heck up.
But as Dean stared at him, thinking over Jimmy's words, Jimmy started to realize that he might not have guessed Dean's reaction after all. And Jimmy smiled widely when Dean finally spoke again.
"So... Jimmy. You say you think my tongue is talented?"
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Written for comment_fic on Livejournal, a multi-fandom prompt community called "Comment_fic: Bite Sized bits of Fic," where you can request or write fic from any fandom.
Prompt was Dean/Jimmy, guilty pleasures