Title: A Series of Dreams

Spoilers: Till the season 2 finale!

Pairing: Chuck/Sarah!

Disclaimer: Don't own anything!

A/N: This was going to be a short counter-fic to "Sarah's Firsts" but it's morphed into something longer than that (which has almost nothing to do with that fic at all). For those who read that fic this first part borrows a difference version of a scene from "Sarah's Firsts." More to come soon and thanks for reading!

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This is a dream:

Chuck's awake in bed and Sarah's in the room too, but she's standing by the window, looking out. He watches her figure, her naked back, and though he's not touching it he can feel her skin. She is soft. The sensation overwhelms him.

This is a dream and Chuck never wants to wake up.

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It's been a couple of hours since Chuck downloaded the new intersect; since Bryce died; since everything changed, again.

He's not sure how long she's been sitting on the beach but he's glad to have finally found her. He sits down beside her wordlessly, more to think of what to say than because of some sense of respect for her space. He wants to talk about the new intersect, about Bryce, about how he feels like a complete tool that just kissed his future goodbye for a reason he's not sure he fully understands yet, but he can't quite seem to get the words out. He looks around for a trigger to get him going when his eyes find the bottle peeking out from beside her.

"Are there messages in that bottle?"

She lifts it up and hands it to him. "It's wine."

"Pinot Nero," Chuck reads. "Didn't know you were a wine person. Most people go for the hard liquor when they want to drown their sorrows."

Almost as soon as he says this he realizes how insensitive he sounds. While he has to be reminded that Bryce just died it looks like she's wallowing in it. Bryce was as equally important to her as he was to Chuck. No, more.

"It's my favorite," she sighs, and he's relieved that she doesn't respond negatively.

"Good to know."

He was never much of a wine guy. Unlike Bryce, who probably drank lots of fancy wines in his lifetime. Chuck wonders if Sarah drank a lot of wine with him.

'Course she did. Chuck holds up the bottle, silently toasting Bryce's ghost, wherever he may be, before taking a swig and passing the drink back to her.

"I'm sorry about Bryce," Chuck says. He reaches for her hand, covers it with his own. "I'm here if you want to talk about it."

He knows Sarah enough to know that she won't talk to him about it—not any time soon, anyway. But he also knows that letting him sit in on her silence speaks volumes. And he's perfectly prepared to sit beside her, listening to the waves crash and just being with her, but that plan is prematurely cut short by the look on her face. Her forehead crinkles as she looks down at his hand on top of hers, and he wishes he could more easily read her because she's suddenly upset and he doesn't know why.

"I can't do this," she says.

His confusion grows by the instant. "Is this about Bryce? I know he meant a lot to you…"

She gets up without preamble and turns away from him. "Hey," Chuck whispers, wanting- demanding that she stay. It's only after he gets up too and grabs her elbow that he sees the tears in her eyes, all too ready to spill.

"Hey," he says again, trying for soothing but still coming out lost. "Talk to me."

"How could you do it?" she asks.

The intersect. That's what she's upset about. He doesn't know how to answer her. All he knows is talks about being a hero, stepping up to the plate, finishing what was started, being accountable. And they're all really stupid reasons.

"I had to."

Sarah shakes her head and doesn't look at him.

When she says, "How could you do that to us?" he almost can't hear her.

But he does. Chuck knows what she means; that a day ago they had the promise of a real relationship. It's the most affirming thing she's ever said about them being together. And now that's over.

But she's not the only one who gets to be angry.

"So what?" he snaps, and she looks too surprised to react. "I'm so sick of pining, Sarah. Even if I hadn't done it- even if I didn't have this thing in my head- you still would've gone with Bryce. You would've been halfway across the world, on to your next mission. So don't act as if we could've had something. Things weren't going to change.

"Things weren't going to change because you're too afraid to."

She walks away from him then. He never does get to watch her cry.

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tbc