Deception: -wearing Ed's coat- Welcome to chapter number Vexen (aka. number 4) of 'The Basics of Alchemy' -waves- And an apology goes out to 'Chasingyesterday' for not putting her name in my third chapter, so sorry Yesterday-chan!

Ed: Why do I have to wear this mini-skirt Deception-chan? -trying to make skirt longer-

Deception: 'Cause I said so, and that it's your punishment for eating all the cookies! Now read your line! -gives index card-

Ed: -sighs and takes card- We would like to thank 'Kage Hakari', 'xX-WaterLilly-Xx', 'Shibo26', 'ZeroPanda', 'blackhawk68', 'blindhobos', 'Hina Kita', 'DonutMastr', '777angeloflove' , 'ShanaEdward', and 'Trudyann B. -formerly weirdIT-' for answering correctly last chapters question -takes breath- (Alot of people this time o.o)

Deception: And...? -pokes Ed's head-

Ed: Deception-chan does not own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist, as much as she wishes...

When Harry and Ron sat down at their House table, Harry was listening to Ron rant about how all the girls are sooo fond of Professor Elric. The ranting included a few poor impersonations of some first year girl squealing at the mention of Edward Elric. Harry found those the most amusing. Around five minutes of this Ron-ranting, Harry zoned out and got lost in his thoughts. 'I wonder what's taking the professor so long," Harry thought, looking to see that the Headmasters' chair was still empty. Turning his head back, Harry caught the eye of Cho Chang, a sixth-year Ravenclaw. Harry smiled at her, which Cho returned. Then Cho mouthed a 'hello' to Harry which Harry obviously returned.

"Hey Harry...Harry...Harry! Are you even listening to me?!" said an already irritated Ron as he waved a hand in front of Harry's face. Way to ruin a moment Ron...

"Huh?" was all Harry responded with when he turned to look at his best friend. Just when Ron was about to scold Harry, he noticed the person Harry was paying attention to and a sly smile came across his face.

"Oh, I see, you and that Ravenclaw; she's pretty cute, I see why you fancy her," said Ron, slightly nudging Harry with his elbow. Ron knew how Harry liked Cho just as much as Harry knew that Ron liked Hermione. Harry tried to hide his blush, but failed miserably. This made Ron laugh at his friends embarrassment. This made Ron forget about Edward, but not for long.

Ed was shifting uncomfortably in his chair as most of the teachers were staring at him. 'Am I that interesting to look at!?' thought Ed angrily, trying to not make eye contact with any of the teachers. If only Al were here...

When all the students walked in, Ed noticed that a lot of the female students were looking at him while blushing and giggling. This made Ed's head tilt slightly, while also annoying him. Ed never really had any female admirers, except for a few times back in Amestris when some random girls came up to him and asked for his autograph. 'What am I, the eight wonder of the world?' thought Ed as he looked to see that the girls were still giving him brief glances while laughing. He then noticed a red-head giving him a glare. For some reason, Ed found this comforting. 'At least not everybody thinks I'm all that special' thought Ed as he smiled to himself. Trying to entertain himself, Ed saw that it's been quite a while since Dumbledore said he would be back.

"Hey, do you what's taking Dumbledore so long?" Ed asked the man who introduced himself as Hagrid. Promising Dumbledore that he wouldn't tell Ed, Hagrid had to come up with something.

"Don't worry 'bout it, Dumbledore won't be long," replied Hagrid, completely avoiding the question. He'll find out soon enough...

Ed faced forward again, suspecting something weird was going on. After another few minutes of pure boredom, Dumbledore emerged from a side door, having a slight smile on his face. Once he sat down on his designated chair, a whole bunch of young kids walked through the main entrance of the hall. 'These must be the newbies' said Ed to himself in his mind, seeing that the kids that just walked in were gazing in amazement at how big the school is. But then Ed reminded himself that his first actions were just like the ones these kids were doing. Ed was acting like an eleven-year old...how weird. When the woman reached the end of the room with the students, she pulled out a really old-looking hat and placed on a wooden stool. Everyone was silent. 'Are we just going to stare at the hat so it can grow even more old?' thought Ed as he too was staring at the wizard's hat. All of a sudden, it started to sing. Sing. Ed gave a small jump when the hat started to sing. I mean, how would you feel if all of a sudden, a hat sang to you? After a minute or so of singing, the hat stopped and everyone clapped. Ed decided to clap as well, it's only polite. 'Talking paintings, singing hats, what's next?!' asked Ed in his head as the woman announced the sorting will begin. She then pulled out a long roll of parchment and began to read off a list of names alphabetically. After The Sorting was done with, Dumbledore stood up and walked to the podium and began his welcome speech.

"Good evening, my students, to another wonderful year at Hogwarts. This year we will have two new professors: Ms. Dolores Umbridge for Defense Against the Dark Arts," Dumbledore paused for applause; there wasn't any. "And Mr. Edward Elric for our new subject Alchemy," said Dumbledore, but barely anyone heard him since nearly every girl were clapping for him. Ed just sat there, dumbfounded as to why so many girls liked him. Once the applause died down, Dumbledore continued his speech. "And as usual, our Caretaker Mr. Filch will like to remind-" Dumbledore would've continued when all of sudden he heard Umbridge clear her throat. Dumbledore and the rest of people in the room looked at her. Umbridge then stood up and proceeded towards the podium while making a mini-speech.

"Thank your, Headmaster Dumbledore, for such welcoming words of wisdom," Umbridge began, giving Dumbledore a small smile. Then she turned her head towards the students to continue her speech. "And it's so wonderful to see all your bright smiles and I'm sure that we'll become very good friends," she said, pausing to smile at the students. The students weren't smiling back. They could already tell she was trouble for the school, especially Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be very valuable. Although each Headmaster has brought something new to this school; progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged. We must keep the old traditions and perfect them, and prune practices that ought to be prohibited." Once she finished saying what she wanted to say, she then walked back to her seat, while everyone clapped. The students didn't clap very enthusiastically, and who could blame them. As she walked over to sit down, Ed was staring at her outfit. 'How can someone wear so much pink, and who does she think she is just interrupting the Dumbledore like that?!' Ed guessed she was the threat Dumbledore was talking about a week or so earlier.

"Thank you, Professor Umbridge, for that enlightening speech," complimented Dumbledore, who seemed unaware of the hidden meaning of Umbridge's speech. Then Dumbledore continued his welcome speech with no interruptions, thank goodness. "Now, let us enjoy now indulge ourselves in this wonderful feast," was what Dumbledore said before all the food appeared on the golden plates. When all the food appeared where Ed sat, we'll let's just say it was very hard to remember his manners. Once Ed finished eating, he slightly slouched back into his seat, wondering when he ate so much at one time. After all the students finished eating, Dumbledore dismissed everyone to their dorms. When Ed sat up to walked back to his room, Dumbledore came up to him.

"Oh, Ed, there's something there waiting for you, I suggest you go there before you head up to your room," said Dumbledore before leaving to his office. 'He just likes confuse me, doesn't he?' thought Ed before heading towards his classroom. When Ed opened the door, he found the room to be dark. When he lighted the candles so he could see the entire room, he saw someone else was in the room. The person had his back turned to him, but Ed would've sworn he heard him say,"...Brother..."

"Al...?" Ed asked, walking up to the person. When the person turned around, Ed's heart literally skipped a beat.

"...Brother...it's me, Alphonse," mumbled the person. Ed couldn't believe it; is that person really Al, his little brother Al? He looked so much like the Al he remembered from the pictures; and he sounded so much like him. Next thing Ed knew, Al hugged him tightly, muttering, "Brother" over and over again; he then felt his shoulder getting wet. When reality struck Ed, he quickly put his arms around Al, quickly wetting his brothers shoulder, something Ed thought he wouldn't do in ages. Ed was hugging his brother for the first time in six years, Ed was able to feel his brother's skin for the first time in six years, and Ed was able to cry with his brother for the first time in six years. Ed's rarely cried, if ever; he was never the one to show his emotions. But at this moment, he let out all he was bottling up just spill out of him. Once the tears have let up, Ed got a good look of his brother. He looked almost exactly like Ed thought he would. Brown hair, grey eyes, face just like their mother's. 'Oh mom, I wish you were still alive' thought Ed as he looked at his brother. The two didn't really say much, since there was nothing much to say.

"Let's go up to our room, Al, we've got a big day ahead of us," Ed suggested, eyes red from crying. Al nodded in agreement, eyes also red. Ed then led Al out of the room and went up to their dorm. Once they got up to their room, Ed undressed himself to his sleepwear. Al followed Ed's actions, still surprised about his new body.

"Umm, Brother?" said Al when he sat down on his bed.

"Yeah, Al?" asked Ed, who sat down nest him.

"Dumbledore enchanted me so I could have my body, and even though it looks like I have a body, it still feels like I have a suit of armor on the inside, that's the only catch about this," said Al, telling Ed what Dumbledore told Al to tell him. 'So this is what Dumbledore meant by 'I'll take care of it'...' thought Ed.

"Well, as long as you're not a suit of armor, it's not that bad, but can you sleep?" asked Ed, knowing that Al couldn't sleep. Al shook his head.

"No, Dumbledore said I couldn't, but there's nothing else to do, so why not give it a try?" said Al, who got up and headed to his bed. He then lifted the covers and slipped underneath them.

"Sweet dreams, Brother," said Al, who closed his eyes, attempting to sleep.

"Sweet dreams, Al," replied Ed, who was getting under the covers and closed his eyes also. Sleep will be very hard to come by...

Harry, Ron and Hermione were heading to their first class of the year, which is Alchemy, Hermione's now favorite subject. As they headed to class, Hermione was chatting away with Pavarti Patil, a fellow Gryffindor, about the teacher. And Harry could've sworn he heard 'Elric Fanclub'pass by his ears. He knew Ron heard it too, since his eye twitched slightly at the phrase. Ron has been grumpy ever since they left Sirius's house. It wasn't a mystery to Harry as to the reason why. Ron was officialy jealous. As for Harry, well, he didn't see that Cho took an interest in Professor Elric, at least, not yet. As they came through the door, Harry and Ron noticed that the majority of female students took a seat near the front of the classroom. Jeez, could they not be any more obvious? One of the other female Gryffindors waved Hermione and Pavarti over to two empty seats. The girls immediately went over, leaving Harry and Ron. Harry and Ron (more Ron than Harry) decided to sit in back, to avoid being near the professor.

After a few minutes of chatter, Professor Elric and another person walked in to the room. The class immediately became silent, since the look on the Professor's face said to not talk. But what Harry noticed was that the professor was a little on the short side. Okay, a lot on the short side. Harry noticed this now since when he first saw him he was sitting down. When the professor reached the end of the room where the chalkboard is, he picked up a piece of chalk and wrote 'Defensive Alchemy' on it. He set the chalk down and looked at his class.

"Welcome class, to your very first Defensive Alchemy class, as you may know, my name is Edward Elric, but you may call me Ed if you wish," introduced Ed, looking at his class. Harry saw that Ed wasn't smiling; he looked like he would much rather be somewhere else. Or maybe he had something way more important to do. You have no idea, Harry...

"And this is my younger brother, Alphonse Elric, but you may call him Al," said Ed, gesturing to said brother. Al then waved his hand and muttered a 'Hello.' The brother looked uncomfortable yet he still gave the class a smile, which didn't looked forced. This Alphonse seemed like a nice person to Harry. Not like his brother who still wore that frown. Ed was kinda like Snape when it came to smiling, something he rarely to never does.

"Now that we're done with the formalities, who here can tell me what 'Equivalent Exchange' means?" asked Ed, seeing if they knew at least that much. A few people raised their hands, which made Ed make a small smile. Ed called on a Gryffindor male, which Harry recognized to be Dean Thomas.

"Isn't that 'One cannot anything without giving something of equal value up'?" asked Dean, hoping he didn't get it wrong. Ed nodded and gave him a smile, or more of a smirk than smile.

"Yeah, that's basically it, but why don't recite the quote for the class Al?" asked Ed, looking at his brother.

"Okay Brother; 'Human kind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost'" recited Al.

"Thanks, Al; but what the boy over there said summed it up," said Ed, looking at the boy. Harry didn't know that Dean knew about Alchemy, but then again, Harry hadn't asked him about it. When Ed was about to start up again, a Ravenclaw raised her hand. Ed then called on her. One of the students then asked for a demonstration of Alchemy. Ed and Al looked at each other and nodded. Ed then scanned the class and called Harry up. Confused, Harry came up to the front.

"What's your name, sir?" asked Ed.

"Harry Potter," replied Harry.

"Would you mind taking your glasses off, Mr. Potter?" asked Ed. More confused, Harry took them off and gave them to the professor. After a few moments, Harry heard a loud 'crack' sound and few people gasping. Harry looked behind and could barely make out a tiny broken heap that looked like his glasses...or at least what they used to look like. 'Why did he break my glasses? That was my only pair!' thought Harry angrily. But before Harry could say anything, he heard a clap and then saw a bright light. Everyone then gasped in amazement to what they saw. Harry's glasses were back to normal, no incantations or wands needed. Ed then gave Harry back his glasses and thanked him for participating.

"Your welcome, professor," Harry replied, walking back to his seat. When Harry sat down, he took his glasses off to examine them. Then a Ravenclaw girl raised her hand, which Ed called on.

"I was just wondering, isn't Alchemy just like Transfiguration? I mean both subjects teach you to turn one thing into another," asked the girl. Ed just took in a deep breath and tried to hide his glare.

"No, Alchemy is a science, not magic; and with magic, there is no Equivalent Exchange; with Alchemy you break something down to it's most basic elements and turn it into somethings else within the principles of Equivalent Exchange. There are no wands or incantations in Alchemy. It's just understanding the science behind everything," Ed explained, his voice rising as he continued to speak, but not to the extent of yelling. The girl flushed at her ignorance. Harry made a mental note not to show his wand in this class. No one wants to be on a teacher's bad side.

"Any more questions?" asked Ed, scanning the class.

"Good; as I was saying; magic and Alchemy do have one thing in common: they have forbidden 'territory'. I heard that magical community has three spells called 'The Unforgivable Curses' can someone explain to me what they are?" asked Ed. The majority of the class raised their hands, Harry kept his down. Ed then called on Seamus Finnigan, one of Harry's friends, or he used to be Harry's friend.

"The Cruciatus Curse, which inflicts unbearable pain on someone; The Imperius Curse, which makes the victim do whatever the spell caster says; and the...well..." Seamus trailed off on the end, and looked down.

"And?" asked Ed, looking at Seamus. Seeing as Seamus can't answer the last one, Ed called out to see if anyone wanted to finish. No one raised their hand. After a few awkward moments, Harry raised his hand. Ed then called on Harry.

"The Killing Curse..." said Harry, not looking down like Seamus. Harry saw that Ed and Al flinched at the word 'killing'. But then again, who wouldn't?

"Thank you, Mr. Potter," said Ed. Harry could tell Ed was thinking if something else, since his eyes looked distant. But Ed continued on with his class as if nothing happened.

"Now with Alchemy, we have something called 'Human Transmutation'; which is basically bringing some one back from the grave," said Ed, who used his left arm to grab onto his right arm, as if it was some kind of reminder. Ed then continued with his teaching.

"No one has performed a successful Human Transmutation; scientists haven't been able to figure out what the missing element is to complete it. But there is one thing that could help perform one: The Philosopher's Stone." When Harry heard 'Philosopher's Stone' he remembered his first year at Hogwarts, when he had what Ed was talking about right in his pocket.

"With the Stone, you can ignore Equivalent Exchange and do many things with it, such as turn lead into gold, and bring someone back that you cared about," explained Ed, who's expression changed when he said the last part. 'I wonder why the professor and his brother are so emotional when it comes to that topic?' thought Harry, seeing that Ed and Al both had sadness on their faces. If only you knew Harry...

"Does anyone have any questions so far?" asked Ed. No one did.

"Now a part of this class will also be physical, such as self defense. Anyone ever participated in Martial Arts?" asked Ed. Only six people raised their hands. Ed shook his head, sighing.

"Well, for the curriculum, we'll be alternating days between Alchemy and Self Defense. Tomorrow we'll be out in a field, learning the basics of defensive moves. Wear comfortable clothing." said Ed, ignoring the girls' groaning at this. One of the girls then raised her hand.

"Yes?" asked Ed, wary about what he was about to hear.

"Do we have to? I mean what are the chances of us actually having to use defensive moves?" asked the girl with a slight whiny tone. Ed now looked annoyed with girl.

"More than you could imagine," answered Ed in an angry tone. Ed then turned to the class.

"Now let me make this very clear; Dumbledore asked me to specifically teach you Alchemy andSelf Defense. The chances are even greater now since I hear your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will not help you with spells. Dumbledore wants you prepared for anything and everything that happens. What if some dark wizard comes through right now and you don't have your wands, what are you going to do? Cower in fear? Join him or her? Well, is anyone going to answer?" said Ed, giving the entire class a glare.

"Brother, go easy in them," said Al, finally speaking up. Ed simply scoffed.

"They should know the reality of this world, otherwise, this class would be useless them," said Ed, turning to the chalkboard. He then picked up the chalk and wrote down the first assignment.

"Now, for your first assignment, you will be handed a Periodic Table of the Elements, which you will be required to memorize the majority of the solid elements for the test you will have on Friday." When the students heard 'test' they groaned, which Ed ignored. Al then passed out laminated Periodic Table of the Elements charts to every students.

"You will refer to this table for next few weeks, so keep it somewhere safe, since I will not provide extras," explained Ed when Al finished passing them out.

"Now before class ends, let me remind you to wear something comfortable tomorrow; you are dismissed," said Ed. The class promptly left, making sure not to leave their charts behind.

"He is such an illuminating teacher!" said Hermione when she joined up with Harry and Ron. Ron rolled his eyes at this statement, muttering to himself.

"What's with you, Ron?" asked Hermione, irritated that he didn't agree.

"Nothing that concerns you Hermione," replied Ron, who started to walk ahead of the three. Hermione then went after Ron, who started to argue with him. Harry looked the two warily, wondering when they don't argue with each other. What Ron said could've be farther from the truth.

Deception: Wow, over 4,000 words this time! I'm impressed! This is a call for...

Ed: Oh, no; not...-covers head-

Deception: Confetti! -throws confetti in the air-

Ed: -gets covered in confetti- Ugh...why me?

Deception: Aww, Ed get in the spirit -helps brush confetti off-

Ed: I don't have to... -shakes confetti off-

Deception: -brushes confetti off herself- Will you at least say bye to good readers? -puppy dog eyes-

Ed: ...fine...

Deception: Yay! -hugs Ed-

Ed: -blushes-

Deception and Ed: Thank you for reading and have a great day/night/whenever you read this! -waves-

(Okay, this chapter's question is extra hard, but the first one to answer all three correctly will be able to request something for the story, it can be anything you want, well almost anything. Okay the question is 'What does S.P.E.W, O.W.L, and N.E.W.T stand for?' Check my profile to see who answers it correctly. I'll PM you if you got all three answers right. Good Luck!)