Mid October 2008
12.13 am.
Virtue, Iowa
"With the lights out, it's less dangerous..."
With the beat of the music filling her head, drowning out everything else around her Jane worked her way through the pile of dirty dishes, her mind lost in the words of the songs as she washed. As a faint prickle of cold crept across the very lowest part of her back causing the soft downy hairs that lay there to rise up she went completely still, her eyes widening.
Her hand shook as she moved it. A slight tremble starting at the tips of her fingers and vibrating up her arm as she went to brush her hand dry against the surface of the apron wrapped around her waist. Turning the volume of her iPod down low, she listened intently, focusing her attention beyond the silence that wrapped around her. Hearing only the familiar hum of the old fridge nearby she took a slow and steadying breath. The calm from earlier still eluded her, replaced now with an uneasy fearfulness that was like an itch upon her skin. With another slow breath she reached up and tucked a wayward strand of blond hair that danced across her cheek behind her ear.
She stared out through the kitchen window at the darkness, pushing the tentacle of fear that crept deep within back to where it belonged. Determined not to let the fear get the better of her she went back to work. The moment her hand turned the hot water tap on the cold sensation returned, stronger than before, curling around her spine as it traveled upward, hard and sharp, like tiny fragments of broken glass piercing her skin.
She drew in a sudden gasp of breath, the sound of it hitching in her throat. Every nerve in her body feeling alive as her mind screamed out just one word.
Run.
Ripping out the plugs from her ears Jane gripped the edge of the counter, the white of her knuckles standing out underneath her pale skin as she took hurried breaths. Her heart was pounding so loudly from the fear that coursed through her body that for a moment she couldn't focus on anything else except the thud thud sound that echoed in her ears.
Taking a few more breaths, trying to breathe out slowly with each one in a desperate effort to calm herself she looked frantically towards the main diner, seeing the lights on, hearing nothing. Not even the sound of Amy's off-key voice singing along to the radio as she always did when she went about readying the diner for the next day. The complete absence of sound told Jane all that she needed to know.
Panic flooded her body as logic fled her brain and her heart raced further. She wanted to run. The urge to flee was so strong that it was almost suffocating in its intensity but something stopped her, something stronger than the fear, telling her she mustn't run, telling her that Amy needed her. Something terrible was happening and Amy was out there.
Out there alone.
Inch by inch she slid her hand across the cold stainless surface of the counter top until her fingers met the blunt end of a knife. Wrapping her hand around it she gripped it firmly, bringing it closer, readying herself for what was ahead. She took a step and then another and another, her footsteps quiet and controlled, containing no hesitation as instinct guided her, taking control of her body, ignoring the fear in her heart and the voice in her head that told her to run, run now.
"Amy?"
The name came out surprisingly confident as Jane took the final step into the diner. Color and light flashed across her vision as she took in her surroundings. Images forming like a series of disjointed photo stills.
The gleaming shine of the till, the gray of the counter top, fat droplets of red splattered across it.
Blink.
The black and white squares of the checkered lino floor.
Blink.
Crimson red so vivid and dark and rich, streaking out along its surface.
Blink.
The soles of Amy's sneakers, startlingly in their whiteness.
Blink.
Lightly tanned legs splayed out, one foot twisted just a little backwards. The black edge of Amy's skirt, the angle of it all wrong as it laid upon her thighs.
Blink.
Bright red again. The color of Amy's fitted t-shirt. And a darker red, seeping out and in to the cotton fabric and the skin underneath.
Blink.
Amy. Her face this time. Brown eyes, wide-eyed and staring straight at her, cold and empty. The pale pinkness of her face that seemed to fade to an unnatural grayish white pallor in front of Jane's eyes.
Blink.
Red yet again. So much red. In a shade so dark, so glistening and wet that it didn't seem real coming from Amy's now lifeless body.
The sound of screaming seemed to fill the room though no actual sound escaped Jane's lips and as she saw what had killed Amy the scream escalated inside her and then all was silent.
SN*SN*SN
1.23 am.
"There are no such things as monsters."
"There are no such things as monsters."
All around shiny surfaces bounced with light and reflections, illuminated by the faint glow of a single fluorescent light. Beyond, the rest of the diner was shrouded in darkness with random fragments of light snaking their way through the gaps in the blinds, streaking out across the surfaces. Light and dark came together to form shadows on the walls giving the diner an eerie creepiness. The calm stillness of the night only added to the feeling of something unnatural, the silence broken by the words that Jane spoke and the steady sound of running water cascading over the sides of the sink, hitting the floor, the water pooling and spreading outwards.
"There are no such things as monsters."
"There are no such things as monsters."
Backed into the farthest corner of the kitchen Jane sat on the cold, wet lino floor, oblivious to the water that was all around her or to the dampness seeping through her trousers, chilling the skin underneath as she rocked back and forth with her legs bent up, her hands clasped over her ears, repeating the phrase like some kind incantation.
"There are no such things as monsters."
"There are no such things as monsters."
Jane focused all her attention on the words she was saying, desperately trying to shut everything else out as fear gripped her.
Monsters weren't real. None of this was real. If she could just close her eyes it would all be gone.
"There are no such things as monsters."
"There are no such things as monsters."
She wanted to believe in the words. Needed to believe them.
If she could just make them real, make them true, then everything would be all right.
"There are no such things as monsters."
"There are no such things as monsters.
She repeated the words again and again, clinging to the hope of them even as a tiny part of herself kept whispering that she was wrong. That they were all wrong and that everything they had told her that couldn't possibly exist, did.
Monsters were real. Very, very real. And deep down she knew this. Knew this with complete and utter certainty. No matter how hard she wanted to deny it, no matter what anyone told her.
Monsters were real.
And that was why she was sitting here on the floor, rocking back and forth, her hands over her ears, saying words she wanted to believe in but knowing it was all a lie because it was the only way she knew to hide from the truth.
And if the truth was that she thought monsters did exist, that they were real, then maybe she really was crazy after all.
SN*SN*SN
Songs:
Smells Like Teen Spirit (performed by Nirvana)