1998

"Hypothetically speaking," Lee asked, "what would be the best way of getting a reaction out of old smoldy-smorts?"

Fred and George looked at each other and then back at Lee. "Broadcasting into his bedroom?"

Harry, as a guest on the up and coming Potterwatch show, raised an eyebrow. "Fame, clearly, isn't everything. Tell me, Mr Weasley, what would you get if you cross darkarts with a lynch-faced hybrid?" Harry grinned as the three presenters jumped at the sound of Snape's voice issuing out of his mouth.

"Geez, Harry. Give us some warning next time."

Fred's face lit up just as Lee finished his scolding. "That was bloody brilliant mate."

"Either you've spent too much time around Ron or Ron's picked up on your habits," Harry said.

"Is that supposed to be an insult?"

"You tell me. Was it an insult on you or an insult on the esteemed Lord Snakeface?"

Lee smiled, a plan forming in his mind. "Why don't we have several 'esteemed' members of You-know-who's deathnippers on the show. People like Snape."

Fred, George and Harry grinned.

"How do you think he'd react?"

"Welcome to another broadcast of Potterwatch. If you have just tuned in for the first time, we have a special guest with us today. As with our last show, we have been graced with the presence of Phoenix, one of the few remaining freedom fighters unafraid of the old snakeface himself, our dear dark lord. Welcome back, Phoenix."

Voldemort sat upright and drew his wand. His red eyes narrowed darkly as he looked around the bedchamber. It was devoid of any other human flesh. Nagini was curled up at the foot of his bed.

"It's good to be back, River." Voldemort sat straighter as he determined whose voices he was hearing. The first, 'River' whoever it was, he didn't recognise, but the second was distinctly familiar. "As you know and those listeners who were with us last week, I, with a few others have been looking at ways of diminishing Tom's power."

"Just to clarify for our listeners, who is Tom?"

Voldemort's eyes widened. They couldn't have found out.

"Oh, right. Tom Marvolo Riddle is the name bestowed on Lord what's his face, you-friking-know-this-name-is-ridiculous-who. His mother Merope Gaunt, named him after his muggle father, Tom Riddle, and it wasn't until after the idiot left Hogwarts that he took the name no-one dares say."

His eyes narrowed dangerously and he aimed his wand at the first breakable object. Firing a reducto curse at the bedpost, Voldemort received extreme pleasure from seeing the wooden frame shatter. How the bloody hell had they found out about his past? Unless the wanker Dumble—that's why he recognised the voice. It was Albus's voice, but it wasn't the man speaking.

"Except you."

"I learnt the lesson the hard way. Snakeface knew only certain people, after which I am named, openly say his concocted anagram of his given name."

Someone who learnt the hard way? Voldemort swung his feet over the side of his bed and stood, trying to work out who had been in the custody of his minions the last few weeks. Perhaps it was months ago. Yet that didn't seem right. It was only recently that several of the prisoners had escaped from Malfoy manor.

"Yet you're here. How is this possible?"

Voldemort blanched as the voice of Phoenix whatever his name was changed. "I must say, River, The Dark Lord's supporters underestimated the power at my command. He leaves me in charge of all learning facilities, yet does not realise what goes on right under his nose."

"SSSSSEVERUSSSSSS!" His voice echoed off the walls and Nagini slithered out of her resting place to her master's feet. Grabbing his cloak, Voldemort swung it on and stormed out of the bedchamber where a number of Deatheaters had gathered. He pulled the left arm of the closest Deatheater to him and exposed the darkmark. Placing his wand on it, he sent out a call for Snape to report immediately to him.

Within moments, Snape had appeared and bowed at the feet of his master. Voldemort's red eyes narrowed and commanded Snape to follow him into his chambers. For some reason, the broadcasting station Voldemort had been hearing in his private room was not playing anywhere else in the manor.

"Tell me Sssseverussss, who isssss thisssss Phoenix?"

Snape listened to the station and was shocked to hear his own voice issuing out of the speakers. His eyes narrowed in bemusement and tried (to no success) to find the speakers.

That was when the voice changed. (It was now impersonating Moody( "I must say River, any help to our cause is just for minute actions at this stage. War is building and within the next two months will come to a head. I'm backing the Light, especially with the prophecy hanging over the rally points. Potter will triumph and off the bastard, there is no doubt about it."

Voldemort found the speaker and blasted it.

"Hypothetically speaking," George said, "do you think it worked?"

Harry rubbed his scar. "It worked." Oh yes, Harry knew it worked, and quite well at that.

AN:

River = Lee Jordan

Phoenix= Harry Potter