(Yes, I know I should be concentrating on the other one, but this isn't really something serious. It's just something I plan to do every once in a while.)

Note: Okay, now this one is probably going to earn some flames. But that's okay, I figure that makes it come out stronger.

Now to anyone who may, or may not be familiar with my style, this will feature themes that many might find goes against Disney fanfiction criteria, and will probably be offensive. But I wanted to be an individual and do something different. For those who aren't into these things, I'm not going to stop you from either turning back, or even flaming me. So, to those who want to read something a little different, I will tell you what this will contain.

Warning: language, provacative themes (but no lemons or limes, I swear), some crude humor, and possibly subtle slash between characters (when I use "subtle" I mean no kissing, no sex, just hints--I don't think any of you might be ready for any of that down and dirty stuff...yet)

Summary: Welcome to W.D. Academy, where most (if not all) of your favorite Disney characters are put in a boarding school setting, living the sweet and sour golden years of being a teenager.

W.D. Academy is a private school with students with not so private lives. There are cat fights, break ups, hook ups, secret crushes, and secret love affairs that sometimes don't dare speak. These episodic chapters will contain humor, drama, romance, naughty language, sexual themes (no lemons!), and some more humor.

Come watch in amazement, shock, and possibly disgust as you see your favorite Disney characters in a way you've never dared seen them before!

Disclaimer: I do not own Disney, or the characters created by Disney. I also don't own any literary characters that will definitely show up later.

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Campus novel: (noun) a novel whose story is set around the campus of a university (in this case, it is a boarding school); also known as an "academic novel"

Walt Disney: (noun—person) 1901–66, U.S. creator and producer of animated cartoons, motion pictures, etc.; R.I.P.

Disney characters: (noun) cartoons just asking to be corrupted through fan fiction; only a handful of fan fiction writers have dared to do this, and succeed

Will I succeed? Well, I certainly hope so.

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~Jealousy~

Cold blue eyes glared at a redheaded girl who was flirting shamelessly with a boy with black hair and lighter blue eyes. She was up close in his face, tilting her own towards his in a seductive manner. The boy, due to his naturally introverted nature, blushed and smiled nervously, moving back so he could avoid her. He obviously didn't want her attention, yet the redhead persisted as she kept getting closer to him with a sway of her hips.

The glaring eyes narrowed. That little slutbag, crack whore…

"Alice, I think if you glare any harder you're gonna turn Guinevere into goo."

Alice whipped her head to glare at Peter Pan. "That's the point," she hissed.

Peter sighed as the blond girl turned back to glare at the two figures by the opposite row of lockers. He narrowed his own eyes when they landed on the girl who currently looked like she wanted to eat Pinocchio slowly with a spoon. Peter honestly didn't like the girl either, but for different reasons than Alice. That's why his glare wasn't so intense.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see a tall sandy haired teenage boy and a slightly shorter black teenage boy standing right next to him. They both looked pointedly at Alice, who was peeking at the scene behind her locker, growling possessively in the back of her throat.

"What's her problem?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah, she looks like she's going to kill somebody," Mowgli added.

Peter snorted, leaning on the locker next to Alice's. "If Guinevere ends up taking her moves too far on Pinocchio, that prediction might come true."

Arthur's eyes widened. He leaned his head so he could look past Alice's open locker door and saw the same scene she was seeing. Once he saw, his brown eyes rolled exasperatedly. That girl will never learn…

"Wait, does that mean that she and Lance broke up again?" Mowgli raised an eyebrow at Peter.

"Yep. For the," he paused, thinking, "tenth time this month, I believe."

"Wow, this is a bit of a shocker."

Arthur turned and quirked an eyebrow at Mowgli. "Why? The two of them break up all the time."

Mowgli grinned. "Yeah, but she always goes back to you, remember?"

Neither of the two boys noticed how Peter's green eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

He shrugged, hiding his obvious agitation from his two friends. "She must have been extra bored this time." He smirked pointedly at Arthur. "A little boy like you could seriously get boring real fast."

Arthur narrowed his eyes and was about to retort, when he heard an excited gasp from Alice. All three boys turned their heads to give the blonde girl their attention. She turned to all three of them with a bright smile that would have charmed the oldest of men, yet it scared all three of her friends, for they knew that she could be capable of anything.

Yeah, she was that crazy—especially when Pinocchio was involved.

"That's it, Arthur," she cried out ecstatically.

Arthur gulped. He really didn't want to get involved in anything concerning Guinevere. "What is it, Alice?"

Her smile didn't falter at his nervousness. "All you have to do is distract Guinevere, and I'll grab Pinocchio from her evil clutches and bring him back to safety."

She made it sound as if the boy had been captured by an evil queen and was currently being held captive by a bloodthirsty dragon. All three of the boys groaned inwardly. Sometimes they wondered how they came to be friends with such an odd girl.

"Honestly Alice, I think you're being a little overdramatic," Pete said.

"Yeah," Arthur added. "Besides, why would you pick me for the job anyway?"

"Well, she is your girlfriend—"

"Ex-girlfriend," both Arthur and Peter corrected in unison.

When they both realized that their voices had been synchronized, their eyes widened as they glanced at each other, brown eyes clashing with green. Then they nervously looked away, their faces flushing slightly. Mowgli was the only one to notice, his dark eyes narrowing suspiciously, while Alice ignored them and continued explaining her "plan".

Mowgli quickly zoned out from Alice's rant and pretty much everyone else. Instead, he started looking around the school halls, observing the students. Belle and Adam looked like they were having a heated argument, but no one would really care about it anyway. The two of them will make up by the end of the week anyway. Meanwhile, Ariel was going on about something to Jasmine with a dreamy look on her face. If Mowgli knew his gossip well, (and he most certainly did), there was no doubt that the current topic of conversation was the young new assistant music teacher, who the students just called plain Eric (Mowgli suspected that there was something going on there, but he kept it to himself). And then there was…

His face brightened. "Shanti!"

The mocha skinned girl lifted her head at his voice and smiled at him as she walked up to him.

"Hey, guys," she greeted the group.

"Hey," Arthur greeted.

"Yo," Pete waved.

When she saw Alice rubbing her hands and grinning maniacally, Shanti blinked. "Uh, what's with Alice?"

All three boys pointed at Pinocchio and Guinevere. Shanti followed their fingers, and rolled her eyes. They didn't have to say anymore.

"Oh."

"She keeps going on about this stupid plan to 'save' Pinocchio." Peter rolled his eyes.

Shanti shook her head, smirking amusedly. "Don't worry guys; I'll take care of this."

The boys watched as she approached Alice and whispered into the girl's ear. They all tilted their heads curiously when they saw the blonde blush lightly and smile dreamily. They were all even more confused when the girls separated from their little unheard conversation. Alice turned to Shanti, who was smirking mischievously, and giggled.

"Then again, that plan works out too."

-~-

Pinocchio sighed, slamming his head against the lunch table. What a stressful ninety minute block. Usually, Chemistry with Merlin was fun, since Pinocchio liked science. But with a girl like Guinevere trying to get your attention every five minutes, it got a little annoying, especially when you were trying to pay attention to the teacher. He should have ignored her, really he should have, but every time he contemplated it, he found that ignoring her would be rude.

Apparently, Guinevere knew that, since she took advantage of his politeness.

He groaned softly to himself. Damn his pure hearted father for infusing manners into his personality. It was bad enough that Alice didn't really noticed Pinocchio due to him being the typical "nice guy" (the kind who always finished last). Now, he had to deal with the "school slut" and her attention on him.

Why couldn't she just stick with Lance anyway? Everyone in school knew the two loved each other. They just kept fighting and breaking up every month, that's all. Belle and Adam were like that, but you don't see them dealing with it with promiscuity.

When he felt a comforting hand on his back, Pinocchio lifted his head. Arthur, one of his closest friends, was looking down at him with concern in his eyes. When he lifted his head more, he noticed that Peter and Mowgli were sitting across the table, also looking at him with concern.

"You okay, Pinoke?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah," Pinocchio replied wearily. He ran a hand through his dark hair. "Just a little tired today, that's all."

"The ho gave you a hard time, huh," Peter commented, leaning his face on his propped hand.

Pinocchio nodded silently.

"She's not a ho," Arthur defended softly. "She just has…a lot of issues."

Mowgli scoffed. "Come on, man don't defend her. She used you just to get to that guy Lancelot. Remember?"

"Yeah…" The blonde's eyes dimmed a little at the memory. Then they brightened again. "But that doesn't mean she's evil or anything."

Pete scowled, somewhat bitterly. "No, but it proves that she's a manipulative bitch who can't seem to close her legs enough to stay with just one person. She carries a lot of baggage on her, and that baggage is what causes a lot of drama for the person she may, or may not care about. As long as she keeps messing up her life on her own, she is not worth anyone's concern." As he added that, he looked pointedly at Arthur.

Arthur stayed silent. There was nothing he could say in defense for her, not after that little statement. There was too much truth in it to argue with it.

Wanting to break the tension, Pinocchio looked around. "Where's Alice? Doesn't she have this lunch with us?"

The other boys looked at each other nervously. They weren't sure what Alice planned, but knowing her, it would cause a lot of gossip in the next few weeks.

"We're not really sure," Mowgli admitted.

Pinocchio quirked an eyebrow curiously.

"Shanti took her aside before lunch," Pete added at the look.

The shorter boy of the group looked worried. "She's not upset, is she? I mean, I don't even like Guinevere."

Better yet, he thought to himself. Why would Alice be so upset anyway? It wasn't as if she was…jealous or something. The girl didn't even notice his existence. She was too spontaneous and quirky to notice a guy like him, even if they had been friends as children. She'd never see him as anything more than a friend.

…Right?

When Pinocchio felt a small hand on his shoulder, he turned around to see Alice and Shanti smiling down at him, their trays of food in their hands. Shanti quickly moved away to sit next to Mowgli, her smile becoming a catlike smirk. Since he was especially close to the girl, Mowgli noticed right away.

"What do you two have planned?" he asked softly.

She giggled. "You'll see."

Pinocchio smiled up at Alice. "Hey Alice—"

He was cut off when the blonde girl leaned down and straddled his lap. Once she did, his face lit up like a bright red light, and he started sputtering awkwardly at her. As if she didn't know what she was doing, Alice just smiled and put her tray down next to his on the table.

Mowgli's eyes widened. "Damn," was all he said.

Peter blinked, and then he smirked. "Well, well, well. Who knew she had it in her?"

Arthur smiled as he silently agreed, feeling both amused and awkward, since he was so close to what was happening.

"Hello, Pinocchio," she greeted in her chipper British accent.

"Uh—uh—um…!"

She smiled softly at the blushing teenage boy. However, deep down inside, she was cackling madly at an imagined image of Guinevere, saying: "Back off bitch, the boy is mine!"

"You don't mind if I sit here, do you?" She tilted her head, and fluttered her eyelashes innocently, yet seductively.

Pinocchio had trouble saying a full sentence. He was concentrating on keeping his arms clamped to his sides, trying not to touch the smooth legs that were clamped down on his own, or try to lean up and kiss her, or do anything else that would be…inappropriate. At least in school, and in public.

It was so tempting though…

Ah, the true curse of teenage hormones!

"Um…well—no." His blue eyes widened as he tried to correct himself. "I-I-I mean, if you want to sit there so badly…. Not that I don't want you to…! I mean—oh fuck, what do I mean…?" He trailed off quietly.

Pinocchio quickly took notice of Arthur standing up with his tray and stared at him desperately, trying to relay the "Help me!" message silently.

Arthur just smiled awkwardly, shrugged and walked over to the other side to sit next to Peter. Since the table was long, it was easy to find room on the bench.

He gaped at him, feeling a little anger surge through him. Oh, that bastard…!

Any anger he felt immediately faded away when he felt Alice's smooth fingers go through his hair (God that felt nice, he thought dreamily), forcing him to look at her again. She was two inches taller than him, but as she was sitting down on his lap, Pinocchio saw that they were at eyelevel, seeing any emotions that were swirling in each other's eyes. The distance between their faces was lacking, Pinocchio was acutely aware. This realization made him swallow nervously, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart.

Alice smiled softly, this time genuinely. This boy was just too adorable. No one as cold and cruel as Guinevere deserved to even touch him. Feeling a sudden inspiration, she leaned her face forward, closing her eyes slightly and her lips puckering. She felt her heart jump when she realized that Pinocchio was leaning forward too, though more tentatively than she was.

Their lips were just about to brush…

"What the hell?!"

She scowled and moaned at the familiar shriek, and leaned her head back to see behind Pinocchio. Standing there, with her hands on her hips and gold eyes blazing with anger, was Guinevere. Pinocchio also turned his head around, shifting his gaze nervously from girl to girl.

The lunchroom had quickly gone from loud to silent, with only a few murmurs here and there. Most of the students, if not all, paused what they were doing to watch the two girls stare coldly at each other. (Yes, school was that boring.)

"I'm sorry, do you mind?" Alice said coldly.

Guinevere ignored her. "Pinocchio, I thought you liked me," she whined, putting on her infamous pout.

"I don't know how I hinted at that," he replied somewhat nervously, "but I'm sorry, Gwen. I don't like you."

Guinevere pouted more, making her eyes go big and watery. "But if you don't go out on a date with me, I'll be sad…"

Pinocchio shifted his glances nervously in thought. Alice watched him, and her scowl deepened.

"Didn't you hear him?" she snapped. "He doesn't want you."

He's too good for someone like you, Alice added in her mind.

The other girl scowled back. "And what makes you think he wants someone like you?"

Alice smirked and wrapped her arms around Pinocchio's neck, bringing her body closer to his. Her smirk widened when she heart the boy emit a soft, surprised grunt as his blush returned with full force.

"Can't you just tell?"

Guinevere's eye twitched. She didn't like being foiled, especially by someone standing in the way of what she wanted. She shifted her gaze to Arthur, who was eating a French fry as he watched the spectacle. He blinked when he realized she was staring at him. Then she smirked cattily and walked over to him, swaying her hips seductively.

"Oh, Arthur, what a surprise. I've missed you so much baby," she said softly, leaning over to stroke his chin.

Arthur sighed, looking apologetic. "Gwen, I—"

"He doesn't want you either, so back off," Peter snapped with a glare. "No one on this table obviously does, so go off and toy with someone else."

For a brief moment there was a glint of hurt in Guinevere's eyes. It quickly went away when she huffed and walked away from the table and out of the lunchroom. Once she was gone, everyone who had watched went back to eating and talking; all disappointed that nothing interesting really happened.

Mowgli chuckled. "Well that was fun."

"I don't know now," Shanti commented softly. "The plan may have worked, but I feel a little bad now."

Alice snorted. "You shouldn't. She got what was coming to her."

"Amen to that," Peter added softly.

Pinocchio stared at Alice. "So," he drew out, "this was all just a plan to get Guinevere to leave me alone?"

Alice smiled. "Kind of."

With that said she leaned forward and crushed her lips against his. Pinocchio's eyes widened, and then slowly closed as he leaned into the kiss. Soon he wrapped an arm around her waist, while the other went up her back, his hand diving into her gold locks and savoring the feeling under his fingers. The movement made Alice gasp softly, which gave Pinocchio an opening to deepen the kiss.

For a few moments, there was nothing. Neither of the two paid attention to whatever wolf whistles or cat calls any students cried out as they saw. They didn't even bother to pay attention to Peter's playful jab, "Get a room!" or anything else their friends said. All they cared about was saying what they had to say to each other without the need for words.

When they both needed air, Alice and Pinocchio broke off the kiss and smiled at each other, savoring the post kiss moment. Then, Alice gently got off his lap and sat next to Pinocchio, lacing her hand with his. As they both ate their lunch, they stared at each other silently, as if they were in their own world.

…Ignoring the fact that their friends were watching.

"Jesus Christ what a sickeningly sweet ending," Peter commented with a smile.

"All that's missing is the random wedding out of nowhere," Arthur added, chuckling.

"With the birds and animals singing, the church bells ringing," Shanti sighed, leaning her head on Mowgli's shoulders.

"And of course the ride off to a huge castle on a white steed," Mowgli chuckled, holding Shanti close.

"Yeah," the others agreed.

…

…

"They do realize that we have a class next, right?" Arthur quipped.

Mowgli waved him off. "Let them bask in their moment of romance. They deserve it."

Shanti shook her head, laughing softly.

Who knew jealousy could turn into a great matchmaker?

Oh god, the cheesiness of the ending! It's killing me *chokes*

lol, just kidding. This is Disney. Cheesy, but cute endings are, like, a requirement of some sort.

Anyway, in case you didn't know:

Guinevere is a character in T.H. White's "King Arthur" trilogy (which "The Sword in the Stone" is based off of), and in general King Arthur folklore in general. She was married to Arthur, but then cheated on him with Lancelot (aka Lance, who is also featured in this BTW). Note that this probably doesn't make her a whore, or a slut. I just had to choose someone to play the role.

As for why Arthur is there in the first place, well--I don't think he gets used in fanfics a lot. Might as well use him here.

And: Pinocchio-x-Alice? Yeah, I know it practically screams "CRACK pairing"

But hey, there's a Peter Pan/Ariel fanfic floating around here somewhere, so don't judge me just yet (not that I'm saying it's bad; I mean it's just as cracky as my pairing, and many of the future pairings that I will include).

And, on a last note, according to someone I heard it from, the Beast's real name is Adam in Disney lore. I thought I'd use rather than the name I made up for him.

So, tell me what you think? Love it, hate it? Either way, telling me would be a polite thing to do.