Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize. Or anything you don't recognize.
Sad thing is, I don't even have my own copies of the books. *sigh* I fail, don't I?
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The silence was so sweet to his ears. She was sleeping quietly, for once. No nightmares plagued her that night. But Peeta still lay with her, holding her, wishing with all his heart that she could love him back, but knowing she can't. At least, not right now.
Katniss, his beautiful Katniss was so mixed up. After the Games, she did not know where she belonged, or what to feel. Their relationship was a masquerade after all, but it held comfort, familiarity. After that was gone, where was she? She had nothing, because everything changed. Peeta understood. He knew what went on in her head. He knew because he had the same feelings, the exact same thoughts every waking moment. But it was worse for him. The love he felt was real.
And now he had nothing.
He had scared her away by saying that he truly loved her, and when she revealed that his feelings were not returned, she broke his heart. Yet he still lay here, with her, because he could not bring himself to let go. She was Peeta's life. And he would love her forever and always, even if she never loved him back.
Stroking her check gently, Peeta brushed a strand of hair from her peaceful face and tucked it behind her ear. Her smooth skin felt right under his hand, and he longed to be able to do that to her while she was awake. But she would never allow him to.
She curled up closer to him, clinging to him for warmth. He had missed to feel of her body lying next to his in the months that followed the Games. He felt lonely in his bed and when the feeling was especially bad, he would awake from a nightmare. It was always the same one. Horrifyingly detailed.
She was dead. Katniss, his Katniss was dead. She had been killed while trying to save him, while fetching the medicine he needed. And as he wasted away, dying of infection, he was overtaken with thoughts of her death. And then he saw her, even though there was no way she could possibly be there, she was. And the blood from her wounds dripped onto his face. And she smiled a cruel smile at him, as she shook her head and told him again and again how she never loved him. And how foolish he was to believe it was all true. And how it was his fault she was dead.
And he would scream, and thrash, and try to bring himself out of the dream, because he couldn't take it any longer. But the worst was always afterwards, when he felt the emptiness of his bed, and for a few moments he would actually believe she was dead and gone and it was his fault. That was the worst feeling in the world.
'…Peeta?' Her voice was soft and laden with sleep. Gazing at her face, he saw her eyes were unopened. She was still asleep.
'I'm here love. Shhhh, its ok.' Her brow furrowed, and she muttered his name again, though softer this time.
'Peeta' it was like a sigh of relief. She was glade he was there.
He burrowed his head into her hair, suddenly overcome by emotions. He could not take very much more of this. He needed her, we wanted her, and he would never he whole again without her.
'Katniss, I love you so much. I wish you knew. I love you.' He whispered in her ear,a small sob of longing had crept into his voice. His face still in her hair, taking in the sweet scent that was his love.
The response was slow, and quiet. Her eyes cracked open a bit, showing her gray eyes through the small slit that saw and recognized that it was Peeta holding her.
'I… love you too." She murmured, still asleep. 'Peeta.' Her eyes closed again, and the boy that was holding her let out a small sob of joy. Maybe, just maybe there was hope.
Maybe he could be whole again.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A/N: this is a small Peeta/Katniss oneshot I wrote up! I like it. I think it kinda fits the pairing.
I know that I have been slacking (majorly) on fanfiction writing lately, but if it interests you, I would like to use the time old excuse for my laziness.
Writers block. And preoccupation.
Please forgive me?
(: