Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Panic or any of its characters. I am not profiting in any way from writing this fanfiction. Full Metal Panic! is written by Shoji Gatoh and illustrated by Douji Shiki and the anime is produced by Gonzo.

Author's Note: I've tried writing this story for about three years (no, not continuously). I always intended it to be a comfort/romance story, but I could never get the right voice and gave up on it many times. This last time, however, the prose took a hard left turn into comedy (figuring I'd just continue that great Fumoffu episode) and I found the voice of the story and I kept writing until it was finished. I have to say that I had a fantastic time writing this story. I was even told that I chuckled evilly as I wrote. It's been three years coming, so I hope you enjoy it!

What a Lovely Way to Burn

By Starzki

-x-

Sousuke shivered even though he had three blankets piled on top of him. He was sleeping fitfully in Kaname's bed, fever making his skin glow with sweat.

Kaname felt bad. Not sick-bad. More like guilty-bad. She was the one who forced Sousuke to run all over Tokyo to retrieve her notes. But to be fair to herself (which she always tried to be), he had been the one who had forgotten them in the first place. Also, he had never let on how bad he really felt. He was like a stupid dog who hides his injury until he really hurts himself.

In any case, Kaname figured she was atoning for any behavior one might have construed as "insensitive" or "abusive" if anyone had been watching her throughout that day. In fact, the way she figured it, she was scoring major karma points, far exceeding any she might have spent that day "battering" Sousuke, buy bringing him home, tending to him and his sickness, and giving him her bed to convalesce.

Kaname ran a washcloth under the tap. It was for Sousuke's forehead, which burned at an almost frightening temperature. She didn't have a thermometer, but she knew he was way too hot. Kaname shushed Sousuke as he whimpered at the touch of the cold cloth to his fevered brow. Kaname imagined herself as selfless as a nurse attending a wounded, handsome soldier in some World War II movie. She damn near felt saintly. Oh yes, it seemed that she was quite over the guilt she'd felt this afternoon.

Sousuke's fever was pretty high, but his hands and feet were like ice. Kaname knew that aspirin and maybe some warm broth were in order for her patient. Luckily, she had some broth in the refrigerator that only needed a quick warm-up in the microwave.

As the soup heated, Kaname found some aspirin. She felt for Sousuke. One of the most horrible things about living alone was that there was no one there to take care of you when you got sick. Sousuke was lucky he has such a kind and generous friend as Kaname, and she'd be sure to remind him of that as soon as he got better.

Kaname heard some stirring coming from her bedroom after the microwave beeped its completion. She grabbed the soup, a glass of water, and the aspirin and ducked into the bedroom with a carefully constructed expression of sympathetic self-sacrifice. It slid off her face as soon as she saw the sick young man in her temporary charge.

Sousuke was sitting up in bed, still under the covers, arms folded defiantly, and glaring at Kaname.

"Sousuke, what's wrong?" she asked, confused by his aggressive posture.

"What have you done with my pants?" he accused.

Kaname blushed, but remained confused. She'd taken his jacket and shoes (and disarmed him of his multiple weapons), but hadn't the courage to remove any more than that.

She went on the offensive, "They're on your body, idiot, unless you've taken them off!"

Sousuke peeked under the covers, considering his view carefully. His head lolled heavily on his neck and his eyes never seemed to focus correctly. He looked awful and Kaname could tell he was under the influence of the fever. "Nope," Sousuke concluded. "No pants."

Kaname nearly dropped the soup. Sousuke made a move to get out of bed and Kaname did drop the soup. "Sousuke Sagara! You are to stay under the covers until you have pants on!" she ordered.

He regarded her with suspicion, but remained in bed under the covers.

Kaname stepped carefully to the bedside and put down the glass of water and aspirin. "Honestly, what's the matter with you?" she groused, angry that she had to find a way to get chicken broth out of her carpet.

It seemed a Herculean effort for Sousuke to lift his head and meet her gaze. His cheeks were rosy and covered in a sheen of oily sweat. His gray eyes were bright and seemed to swim around before they found her face.

Instantly concerned, Kaname pressed her hand to his face to gauge his temperature. He felt too hot. She took his wrist and checked his pulse. It fluttered against her fingertips at a rate far too fast for someone as young and fit as Sousuke.

"Nn," grunted Sousuke, and he fell back onto the pillows. "I feel awful." He closed his eyes.

Kaname regretted that she didn't have a thermometer or any other drugs that might help Sousuke. "I bet you feel awful," she confirmed. "Sousuke, I need you to take these pills. They'll help you feel better."

"No," was her answer.

"Sousuke..." Kaname warned.

Sousuke looked at her through slitted eyelids. The suspicion was back. "If you didn't steal my pants, then who did?"

Kaname sighed and pressed the pills and water into his hands. "I don't know what you did with your pants. We'll find them later. It's not like you have to be anywhere, anyway. Just stay in bed."

Sousuke sat up and brought the aspirin up to his mouth, then his eyes seemed to focus on something across the room. "I bet that mouse took them," he said.

Kaname gasped and whirled around. "A mouse?" But all she saw was good old Bonta-kun, his eyes as friendly as ever. He definitely was not in possession of any pants. Jolly red bow tie and green bowler hat: yes. Pants: no.

"You're delirious," she chided. She turned back to him as he drank the glass of water to wash the pills down.

"I wouldn't put it past him," Sousuke said while pointing accusatorily at the stuffed animal. "He took the fishing pole and hid it under the bed." Sousuke glared at Bonta-kun.

Understanding that Sousuke's fever had just made him completely nonsensical, Kaname pushed his shoulders to make him lie down again. "Don't worry about him. I'll take care of Bonta-kun. You just need to rest and focus on getting better."

Sousuke allowed Kaname to push him down, but he gave her one last warning. "He sees everything." While this was a creepy thing for Sousuke to say, Kaname was well-enough aware of his paranoia, even when he was in the best of health, that Sousuke's ramblings made a kind of sense. Like if you were drunk or something. Kaname ran to the kitchen for a rag and made quick work of cleaning up the spilled soup.

Sousuke seemed to settle down. He shut his eyes and relaxed under the covers. Kaname was still worried about his temperature. She lived across the street from a pharmacy. With Sousuke settled in, she figured she could take the opportunity to go get a thermometer and some other medicine to help get Sousuke well.

Kaname took Bonta-kun with her when she left a sleepy Sousuke in the bedroom. She stashed the stuffed animal on top of her refrigerator. She figured this was the best time to make a quick run for medical supplies.

As quietly as possible, Kaname grabbed her wallet and jacket, slipped on her shoes, and darted out of the door and to the pharmacy. The person working there was helpful in pointing out what exactly Kaname would need. Apparently, this flu was making the rounds of Tokyo and a substantial portion of the city was suffering. Kaname purchased the thermometer, some cold and flu tablets and gel caps for both day and night relief. Plus, she got some extra tissues and throat lozenges. She beamed when the pharmacist complimented her selfless and helpful nature at taking care of a schoolmate. It was so true.

Kaname figured she had been gone all of twenty minutes. It really didn't seem long enough for even Sousuke to get into much trouble.

She discovered that it was long enough.

Kaname didn't see anything out of the ordinary when she first entered the apartment carrying her new purchases. Then, she heard a crash and a shout from her bedroom. She rushed to the bedroom door and gasped at the sight before her.

The first thing she noticed was that Sousuke had turned her bedroom upside down. He had stripped and dismantled her bed and formed the mattress, box spring, pillows, and sheets into an impressive-looking fort that stood against the wall opposite from the doorway to the room. He had fashioned a kind of lean-to structure with the bedding materials. She noticed a pile of pillows between the mattress and the wall worked as a kind of removable doorway to the fort. He had "camouflaged" it with the blankets and sheets to blend in with the clothes from her bureau that he had strewn around the room. Kaname liked building pillow forts, but this was disturbing. Sadly, she was soon to discover that it was far from the most disturbing thing she was about to witness in her bedroom that night.

The next thing she noticed was Sousuke in the corner of the room trying to make his way stealthily towards the fort.

He had definitely not found his pants.

Also, he seemed to have also lost his shirt and under shirt. Kaname was thankful that he had, at least, held onto his boxer shorts.

Kaname tried to say something. She managed a squeak. She tried to take in the full devastation of the room, the way Sousuke had emptied every drawer and rearranged all of the furniture, even piling some pieces on others in ways that seemed to defy gravity. It was stunning. But her eyes kept coming back to the near-naked young sergeant.

It was then that she noticed his face. Kaname wondered where he had gotten such sparkly camouflage until she realized that he had gotten into her makeup.

Sousuke had made liberal use of the emerald green and powdered blue eye shadows on his face. He accented those colors with many shades of pink and red from lipsticks, blush, and other eye shadows. Dark eyeliner on his face mimicked shadows from the non-existent foliage in the odd fairy land jungle his fevered mind had conjured and he seemed to think he inhabited. Interestingly, he had found her mascara and thought to use it correctly. Even from across the room, Kaname noticed, as his dark eyelashes batted coquettishly at her as he blinked his surprise at her return, the way the charcoal color really brought out the blue within Sousuke's gray eyes.

Kaname's mouth hung open in shock. Sousuke, seeing his opportunity, dived into his make-shift fort, toppling it. He stood again, slowly, the mattress and pillows falling to his feet. In his left arm, he held Bonta-kun in a head lock. His right hand held the gun that Kaname had disarmed him of previously that afternoon. The little snoop hand not only raided her makeup, but he had gone into her underwear drawer as well!

Sousuke held his gun to Bonta-kun's head threateningly. "Your spy has withstood my questioning well, but make no mistake, as much as I respect that he can remain silent through such tortures as I have put him through, I will not hesitate to shoot him if you take one step closer."

Kaname's mouth snapped closed as she mourned for poor, poor Bonta-kun's innocence. She noticed the aspirin she thought Sousuke had taken on the ground at his feet. Anger began to take over Kaname's being. She felt the blood pump in her veins and raging heat infused her body. Some primordial memory had her hearing the screams and shouts of vanquished enemies falling around her in a ferocious battle from before recorded time. The muscle above her left eye twitched.

Taking a second to consider her own battle plan, she launched an offensive. "Sergeant Sousuke Sagara, ID number B-3128, call sign Urzu-7, I am the superior officer in this location!" she shouted, confidence clinging to every word. "I order you to stand down!"

Sousuke stiffened. His fever-addled brain recognized that Kaname did have rank over him in certain situations, but exactly how eluded him at the present. Dubious, he challenged, "What's your authority in this location?"

Thinking fast, Kaname again shouted, "You obviously haven't read the situation report, Sergeant. If you had, you'd know that I'm the captain, general, president, queen, and dictator of this location! How dare you challenge me you insubordinate idiot! Now, I told you to stand down! Let the stuffed animal go. I'll handle him!"

Kaname took a step towards him. He stiffened again, but seemed to be dealing with an internal struggle. He kept reworking the grip he had on the gun pointed at Bonta-kun's head. Fearing that she'd soon be witnessing her beloved stuffed animal's cotton brains spattered on her wall, Kaname took another hesitating step forward, reaching her arms for Bonta-kun.

With each step that Kaname took, the strength seemed to drain from Sousuke's stance. The fever and flu were gaining ground on him and he couldn't maintain his focus for much longer. Kaname, seeing weakness, slowly made her way to within an arm's length from him.

Finally, Sousuke looked Kaname straight in the eye. She once again marveled at how becoming mascara was on him, really highlighting his eyes as his best features. Then, in a flash, Kaname produced her harisen and slapped Sousuke over the head with it with all of her might. The young man collapsed in a heap, out cold. Bonta-kun was safe.

While Sousuke was out, Kaname did what she could to put her room back together. She also did what she could comfort a stoic, but obviously traumatized Bonta-kun. She managed to put the bed back together and put all of the furniture where it belonged.

As she cleaned her room, anger quickly had dissipated into guilt again for Kaname. Who hits the sick and infirm? Yes, he had really, really deserved – nay, needed – a good smack, but she still felt bad. Therefore, when Sousuke began to stir, she sat him up and made sure that she watched as he took the proffered medicine. Then, she helped him to the bathroom, ran the sink with hot water, and helped him scrape off the makeup he had so artfully applied. Then, blushing as she realized that Sousuke still wore naught but his boxer shorts, she helped him back into her bed.

Kaname had given Sousuke the medicine that was supposed to help him sleep. As he began to drift, she took his temperature and felt his forehead. It was still quite hot, but maybe not as hot to the touch as it had been before. The thermometer confirmed a high temperature of 39 degrees Celsius, but it wasn't too high to actually worry over.

Sousuke actually settled into a deep sleep minutes later.

Kaname breathed a sigh of relief. Asleep, Sousuke looked so innocent... and normal. She smiled, then blushed. There was a strikingly handsome, nearly naked, young man in her bed. Doing her best to ignore the hot flush she felt and the little voice in the back of her head ordering her to confess to herself at least one of the dozen versions of "Sousuke is really cute and I think I want him as a boyfriend," she ruffled his hair and left the bedroom to complete her homework. It was a Friday night, but she liked to keep her weekends free. She took Bonta-kun with her.

The next few hours passed relatively uneventfully. Kaname kept checking to see if Sousuke was indeed still sleeping.

He was.

During the evening, she fielded a call from Kyouko. It took large amounts of willpower to keep from blurting out, "There's a boy in my bed!" Kaname managed to keep her cool and "uh-huh" her way through a conversation about a popular reality show that Kyouko loved.

After four hours undisturbed by Sousuke, Kaname felt nearly blissful, but tired. She went to check Sousuke's temperature again. He awoke again when Kaname had him sit up so that she could hold the thermometer under his tongue. It was down to 37.5 degrees C. His eyes remained dull and sleepy and his head looked wobbly on his neck. Kaname made Sousuke take more medicine, guessing that the stuffy head and sore throat were the next symptoms after the fever. The patient had become wholly compliant to her wishes. It was about damn time!

After Sousuke took the medicine, she regarded him carefully. He had given her so much trouble under the influence of his fever, so much more trouble, she was surprised to discover, than he did when he was well. She was impressed. It seems he was working to curb some of his behavior during normal days.

She was glad that he seemed to be on the way to recovery. The sickly sheen was gone from his skin, but the dark under his eyes remained. Kaname allowed herself one last indulgent look at the handsome young soldier on the mend thanks to her, and turned to leave.

Sousuke caught Kaname's wrist as she turned away. Figuring he needed something or was about to start trouble again, Kaname spun around to face him.

Sousuke's heavy-lidded eyes betrayed no mischief, only quiet regard for Kaname. He stared into her eyes, to in her nose, and let his gaze drop to her mouth. He brought a hand up and touched a lock of her hair near her face. He slowly rubbed the hair between his fingers, letting the silky tresses glide against each other in a way he found soothing.

Without saying anything, Sousuke dropped the lock of hair and brought his hand to her cheek. He rubbed a rough thumb along the curve of her face. A rare smile alighted on his mouth as he seemed to be taking in and appreciating her beauty. Finally, in a rough voice, he said, "Thank you."

Then Sousuke slept.

Kaname was glad that Sousuke wasn't conscious to see the fluster that Sousuke's words had driven her to right then. She blushed, the sputtered. It wasn't much, but the touches seemed so intimate and his approving look of her features was so genuine that she felt truly complimented. And it wasn't every day that a really gorgeous guy, who was brave and loyal, and someone – the only one really – that she looked forward to seeing and talking to every day, gave her such a nice compliment. She felt happy. And it was because of Sousuke! Amazing.

Delighted, Kaname left the room and made a bed for herself on the couch. It had been quite a day.

-x-

The next day, Sousuke awoke and felt concerned. He figured out quickly enough that he was sick. His sinuses were completely congested and his throat was on fire. He also could tell he was clad only in his underwear and that he was in Kaname's bed. Putting together the events of the past twenty four hours, he remembered not feeling well, a long, ultimately unsuccessful mission to retrieve Kaname's notes in time for a test, and feeling even worse by the time they got back to school. Events after that were blurry. Sousuke assumed that Kaname had acted on her truly selfless character (that he knew existed under all of her volume and bluster) and had taken him in. He felt terrible, but he knew he was better than he had been in the past few hours and it was because of Kaname.

Sousuke arose slowly, feeling like he had been hit by a bus. In fact, he flashed back to the previous day and tried to remember if the cab had actually hit him or not. He couldn't remember. He found his clothes in the closet. Although it was embarrassing that Kaname had felt the need to disrobe him, he was glad that she'd at least put his clothes in the first place he'd think to look for them.

Sousuke put on his pants and undershirt, but couldn't bring himself to put on his school shirt. It was just all too tiring. He crept out of the bedroom to find Kaname. He saw her asleep with Bonta-kun on the couch. He had meant to leave without disturbing her, but something in Bonta-kun's button eyes compelled him to apologize for something.

He made his way to the couch. He had to stop to lean on the kitchen table to rest on his way there. He was still in terrible shape. When his foot hit a chair, Kaname awoke.

Bleary, with dark bags under muted eyes, Kaname looked at Sousuke with confusion. Then she remembered.

"How do you feel?" she asked, her voice husky with sleep.

"Much better. Thank you. I think I'll try to make it home."

"No. It's Saturday. Just stay. I brought you all of this medicine."

Sousuke didn't have it in him to argue. Kaname slowly sat up and patted the couch next to her. He made his way across the apartment.

Kaname kept rubbing her eyes and temples. "God. I feel awful," she said.

Sousuke nodded as he collapsed on the couch, sitting next to her. She tucked her long legs under her and rearranged the blanket so it covered both of them. She tried to sit sideways and lean into the back of the couch, but she got her angles slightly mangled. Instead, she leaned into Sousuke.

His brain tried to get his mouth to tell her that she was probably succumbing to the same flu that he had, but the synapses just weren't connecting. Instead, he just brought his arm up around her shoulders in a way he hoped she found comforting. She rested her head on his shoulder. It felt a little too warm. He'd get up later and get them some water so they could both take more medicine. He just needed a brief rest, first.

Sousuke also felt a compelling need to apologize to her. For what, he couldn't quite remember. But, as before, his brain refused to find the appropriate words to convey his feelings. He usually bungled them, even when completely healthy. Now sick, he was too tired to even try. So, he just rested his check against the top of Kaname's head and pulled her closer to him. She sighed and sounded almost happy.

They stayed that way for a long time. It was very comfortable. Sousuke thought about getting the water. He looked down at Kaname, who had fallen back asleep. A small reflection of light on his hand caught his eye.

He examined his thumbnail carefully. Why was he wearing glitter nail polish?

END

A/N: I hope that you liked reading this story half as much as I liked writing it. Let me know what you thought!