Hiya! This bit of rubbish is to counter the angsty drabble I posted earlier. :) Also written for dogdaysofsummer: prompt two which was a picture of a shark. Sigh. Sorry to those with weak stomachs.

Don't forget to check out my bigbangblackout fic! Link is at the bottom of my bio. :)

Eat, Poop and Shag

'Gods, he's like a bloody shark,' Sirius yelped in disgust, holding Harry precariously in outstretched arms. 'All he does is eat and sh...er...poop.'

Lily crossed her arms over her chest. 'Are you comparing my son to a slimy, murderous fish, Sirius Black?'

'Sharks aren't fish,' murmured Remus, barely lifting his nose from his book as the two argued yet again.

'That's hardly the point, Remus,' Lily snapped then she turned back to Sirius. 'You're his godfather and you know the rule. If you find it, you clean it.'

'But...Lily...' Sirius whined.

Remus could almost hear her arch her eyebrow. 'Don't tell me you don't know how to,' she said, an oddly triumphant note in her voice. 'You spend enough time touching Remus' arse to know your way around down there.'

Remus looked up in alarm, seeing the smug expression on Lily's face before his eyes shifted to Sirius' flushed countenance.

'I don't know...what you're talking...' Sirius stuttered and Lily smirked.

'If you two think you're being subtle, you better think twice,' she said, far too pleased with herself for Remus' liking. 'I don't know why you don't just tell everyone. They all think you're shagging anyway. Now, change my son's nappy or I'll bring out the pictures of his birth I wouldn't let James show you.'

She flounced from the room, leaving Remus and Sirius to stare helplessly at each other.

'Well, that was...'

'Easier than expected?' Remus said, standing and quickly taking an increasingly smelly Harry from Sirius.

He laid the boy on the change table then prodded Sirius. 'Go on then,' he murmured. 'I'll hold your hand, you big sook.'

Sirius took a deep breath then peeled back the sodden nappy. 'Oh, Gods!' he moaned, grimacing and turning his face away. 'That is...disgusting. How can something so small...? He must have half his body weight in sh...poop there.'

Remus held his breath and handed Sirius a wipe. 'Eat and poop,' he muttered and Sirius nodded.

'And shag,' he said, making a sound of disgust that sounded a little like a retch as he cleaned Harry up. 'Although, he's got a while before he knows that pleasure. Until then...'

'Until then,' Remus said slyly, sliding his hand over the curve of Sirius' buttock and squeezing. 'We can make up his slack.'

Sirius grinned, turning to Remus and giving him a smacking kiss. 'You know, when I pictured us coming out, it didn't involve so much sh...poop,' then they both let out a cry as Harry decided he wasn't quite done yet.

fin.