Title: Brothernap.

Rating: M

Pairing: HikaKao, minor KyoTama.

Warning: Yaoi. Twincest. OOCness.

Disclaimer: If I said I owned, Bisco Hatori-sensei would shoot me in the head.

She thought she had already known how those kidnapped people were supposed to act.

They screamed. They sobbed. They kicked and cried and begged for their pathetic lives. Or they simply glared at the kidnappers in the most hateful way they could, and then some kind of super-hero would burst through the main door, shouting some ridiculous words about justice and peace and whatnot, and then dragging the kidnapped away, completely forgetting about the poor damaged door and that damaged doors cost money.

Yes, something like that. Or at least it was what those cheap action movies she had been forced to watch recently stated. The movies according to which she should be the one who laughed evilly, while her victim was squirming on the floor like some kind of over-cooked otoro.

"Oooh, commoners…"

He purred.

And she twitched.

Rich bastards…

There were certain things that Kaoru Hitachiin did not appreciate in the morning.

First, was that he had to wake up to an empty side of his bed, without his big brother snuggling up to him and mumbling something extremely perverted in his seemingly innocent slumber. No, Kaoru resented that. Waking up alone made him feel lonely, and the younger Hitachiin hated it when he felt lonely.

Second, the redhead had to admit – with a pretty blush tinting his pale complexion - that he quite enjoyed the soft kisses Hikaru always planted on his lips the moment his dark-haired twin opened his eyes. Not to mention the tender embraces that followed, before the older boy's hands disappeared under their sheets, moving further, and further, and further down…

Ahem.

Anyway, as Hikaru had - for some reason - left his poor little brother alone in their room, the second thing that Kaoru dreaded so much had now been perfectly accomplished. No Hikaru, no good morning activities, and a lonely Kaoru.

The copper-haired boy twitched. Just ever so slightly.

And third…

'Your brother has been kidnapped. Do not call the police, or tell anyone else, things will only get worse. Contact you later.'

…that.

The amber-eyed boy shrugged his sheet off his shoulders, before reaching out and picking up the piece of paper that had been laid neatly on his nii-chan's pillow. Kaoru brought it closer to his face, his hand tangled into his unruly hair as he scanned through the letters which had probably been ripped out carelessly from some kind of cheap magazines. A deep, frustrated sigh escaped his lips.

Kami-sama, all he ever wished for in his life was to have a peaceful, normal morning. The kind of morning in which he could stay contentedly in his twin's warmth, until the maids came up with their horribly high-pitched, fangirl-like squeal that threatened to break every single glassy object within a one-hundred mile radius. Was that to much to ask for?

Apparently, yes. The small piece of paper smirked back at him, and Kaoru twitched even more.

Hikaru, you idiot.

Acting impulsively like this was just oh-so-typical of his big brother. Honestly, that childish side of Hikaru was becoming unbearable sometimes. When the older boy couldn't get what he wanted, he threw tantrum all over the place. That was fine. That was cute. He was used to it. But pushing things to this level (and by that he meant leaving him all alone in their room), even for a short-tempered person like Hikaru, was simply too much.

- Flashback -

"Kaoru…"

Hikaru tugged at his sleeves, and he simply chose to pretend that he had completely gone deaf. He knew too well what his big brother wanted when the boy used that kind of tone on him.

"Kaoru." A little bit hurt by now. "Kao-chaaan…"

There went the puppy-dog eyes. No, worse. The Tamaki Suoh's puppy dog eyes.

God.

He definitely liked Tono very much, but letting his brother hanging out with the dramatic King might actually not be a good idea.

"Not today, Hikaru." He patted his twin's head gently. "Maybe next week."

"But Kao-chaaan…"

Perhaps he had underestimated his brother's skill. The Hikaru's puppy dog eyes were even more horrible. Ignore him. Just ignore him, and everything would be just fine. A hand suggestively crawled under his shirt. Now he found it hard to think. Got to concentrate… Uhm, so good… No, got to be tough…

"I told you, if you continue to act like that, I'll sleep in the guest room tonight."

It took a great deal of mental strength to pushed the dark-haired boy's wandering hand back to its respectable place. He shot Hikaru his final warning glare, before flopping down on the soft mattress and pulled the cover over his head.

- End of flashback -

Now that he thought about it, perhaps he had been a bit too tough last night. But then again, as if it was his fault that his horny of a brother had pinned him down on the floor and done it for four freaking hours the night before that. And the night before that, in the bathroom. And the night before that, on the kitchen table (talk about his mother's complaints about a funny smell in her kitchen the next morning). And the many, many nights before that…

Urg.

Raising one of his hands up to massage his slightly throbbing temple, the redhead felt his anger slowly drift away. Kaoru, being Kaoru, could never stay mad at his nii-chan for so long. His eyes softened as he laid down and pulled Hikaru's sheet to his chest, inhaling the boy's sweet scent. Maybe, just maybe, he had indeed been too tough back then. Hikaru had always cared for and protected him, and being the teen's baby brother, he should have been less grumpy when his nii-chan wanted to do it. After all, it was not like Hikaru had ever asked anything for himself ever since they could call each other's name.

Great. Now he was starting to feel guilty. Hikaru was the only one who was able to make him feel guilty in a matter that wasn't even his fault to start with.

The Hitachiin clutched the sheet more tightly.

He wanted to know how his big brother was right now...

"What is this, commoner?"

He held up the pink piece of cloth with the words 'Eat me' proudly embroidered on it, amber eyes shining with curiosity and excitement equal that of a child finding something new in an incredibly boring place. She twitched again at the name, but hid her feelings well beneath an indifferent expression.

"It's an apron. You use it to cover your front when you cook, so that the food won't catch on your clothes."

"I see…"

She almost flinched when a crooked smile crawled across his handsome face.

Ah yes, he would definitely bought an apron like this later. Kaoru would certainly look very, very pretty in it. He could clearly imagine his baby brother wearing a pink apron –with nothing underneath – tied to their bed, blushing in a distinctively uke way and helplessly inviting him to do whatever he wanted. How joyful it would be, when he bent down with his typical smirk, parting those gorgeous legs and drawing out a sexy moan from his little prey…

Maybe he'd need some whipped cream. And a bottle of maple syrup. And a pair of fluffy handcuffs, as well.

A maniacal glint crossed his eyes as he chuckled, and this time, she flinched.

Rich bastards were damn hard to understand sometimes.

Kaoru sneezed.

The younger Hitachiin brought a hand to his nose, before lowering it down to rub his bare shoulder. Was it just him, or had the temperature in their bedroom suddenly dropped a few degrees? He could sense a shudder running up and down his spine, in such a creepy way that it made him sprang up in his bed instinctively. It was like someone was watching him from behind. And somehow, Kaoru had a violent urge to just run away from anything that had a pink color painted on it.

Perhaps his worry for Hikaru had finally got to his brain.

The redhead sighed. What was he going to do now? Knowing Hikaru, the dark-haired twin would sooner or later send him some clues about his current hiding place. Until then, all he could do was staying in their bedroom, doing nothing but staring at the plain, boring-as-hell ceiling. What was worse, was that he had begun to feel extremely lonely without the presence of his big brother.

Stupid Hikaru, leaving him like that…

The younger twin reached for a pillow next to him and clutched it tightly against his chest. Before throwing it down immediately. God, what the heck was this sudden fear of pink all about, anyway?

--

"Could you get me one of this?" he asked as he tossed the pink apron to her; the glint in his eyes had now become insanely visible. "And by the way, which do you think is better, handcuffs or plain rope?"

--

The ring tone announced that he'd got a new message. Kaoru flipped his phone open, his golden eyes widening as the words appeared on the screen.

From: Unknown.

To: Kaoru Hitachiin.

'Canteen.'

Figure.

Promptly pushing himself up, the younger twin bolted to the door in a terribly fast speed that he himself didn't know he was capable of. There was only one canteen he had ever known in his life. Flying down the stairs, he uttered breathlessly to the butler who greeted him with a polite yet stoic bow, "Get the Limousine. I need to go to school now."

The old man raised one of his eyebrows. Then coughed awkwardly into his hand.

"In that outfit, young master?"

Kaoru blinked. And looked down.

Oh.

Oh.

A faint blush tainted his cheeks, before the Hitachiin rushed up the stairs again. In his lovely, adorable, teddy-bear boxer.

A maid came across him in the way back to his bedroom, bowing her head at him then quickly scuttering in another direction. With an excited squeal muffled into her hands, predictably to be let out uncontrollably afterwards.

Hikaru, you stupid moron. I so blame you for this.

Time had taken a step from an enthusiastic summer to a tender fall. To celebrate this special moment that the lightly twisted mind of their principal treasured so much, Ouran High school had temporarily cast pens and books aside and was now over-whelmed with a burning excitement towards the up-coming school festival. Most of the clubs had been drowning themselves in their busy preparation, and even Kyoya had also decided to pause the Host club activities for a few days to throw in a little re-decoration, promising with a calculated smile that there would be a big surprise for their customers when the festival week approached - as long as they agreed to buy the tickets in a relatively high price.

The moment his family limousine drew up at the front gate, Kaoru suddenly found himself whirling in a sea of students and teachers, who were all too swarmed with their bustling around - either talking with one another or spilling commands then and there – to notice his appearance. The redhead struggled to make his way towards the canteen, glad since it didn't appear to be as crowded as the outside. It seemed that not many people chose this place to be an ideal shelter during these hectic days, save for a handful of tenth and eleventh-graders who had decided to came here to take a break. The younger Hitachiin sneaked in, praying silently to whatever force up there that the girls would ignore him and let him find his brother in peace.

"Hitachiin-san!"

Kaoru cursed.

Apparently, the whatever-force-up-there hated him with a damn passion.

A girl happily ran over to him, followed closely by her giggling friends. As if to rub salt on his wound, she was wrapped in an oh-so-pretty pink dress.

He gulped.

"Yes, ojou-san?" A forced smile.

She blushed, tucking her hair behind her ears in a girly manner before shyly handing him her cell phone. He cocked an eyebrow at the action, and she hastily explained, "Some unknown person sent me a message this morning, requesting that I give it to you when you come to the canteen."

He blinked before hesitantly taking the object, not forgetting to mumble thanks to the owner. What kind of twisted game was his bastard of a twin trying to play? Kaoru hit some buttons as his head started to ache, waiting for the message to pop up.

'Ouran Host Club.'

He restrained himself from cursing again.

"Ouran Host Club? What does it mean, Hitachiin-san?"

He almost jolted at the girl's voice, but was able to pull himself together in a split second. Smiling professionally. "Nothing. It's just a game we're playing."

"Oh… But why isn't your brother with you?"

Because my beloved nii-chan was currently very mad at me for denying him sex yesterday? Yeah right, what an answer. The whatever-force-up-there had probably been holding a grudge against him, and now was a sweet pay-back time.

He was going to kill Hikaru.

Calm down, Kaoru. You know what you have to do. "Ah, you see…"

The copper-haired boy closed his eyes halfway, curling his fingers delicately and brought a knuckle to his lips. A pretty shade of red spread upon in pale complexion, his seemed-to-be embarrassed voice coming out softly, "Hikaru said if I won this game, he would give me a reward…" His tone lowered a bit and the crimson color darkened when he came to the 'reward' part, drawing out several anticipating gasps from the girls.

"What kind of reward, Kaoru-san?"

"I don't know…" Blush. "He said he'd give it to me tonight…"

Silence.

Gasp.

Squeal.

Scream.

He watched them collapse on the floor with a flock of hearts lolling around, vaguely noticing something about the over-cuteness of brotherly love, and the odd stares that the accidentally passing-by principal was sending towards their direction. His stomach sank. The act had reminded him of Hikaru again.

I wonder what he's doing…

She stared.

He smiled.

Heavy silence enveloped both of them suffocatingly, before she finally decided to open her mouth, only to have it hung agape for a moment. If she had been anyone else, she would certainly have freaked out at the sight of her floor being buried under a ton of photos.

Kaoru smiling. Kaoru laughing. Kaoru sleeping. Kaoru showering…

She stared.

He smiled.

"So…" It took a whole minute before she could slowly speak, "… How many of these do you have?"

"Huh? Oh!" He blinked at the question, and then happily took off his jacket, allowing twice as much of Kaoru's pictures to fall to the ground.

She stared.

He smiled.

Rich bastards were damn hard to understand, she thought.

But this one was just sick.

Top floor of south campus.

End room in the north corridor.

Third music room.

When you open the door, you'll see...

...Kyoya Ootori roughly pinned Tamaki Suoh to a nearby wall, his glasses glinted dangerously as he slowly trailed his tongue along the shorter boy's milky neck. The blond gasped, emitting an erotic moan while balling his fingers at the vice president's jacket uniform in an attempt to pull him closer. A smirk. A hand slid down skillfully, fumbling with the hem of the violet-eyed boy's pants and then...

Kaoru immediately slammed the door shut.

Any sound within his earshot crumbled into complete silence. A light breeze happily waved into the hall, making his red hair flutter along. Somewhere, a bird shrieked, before being shot down mercilessly by a sadistically cackling stranger.

Silence.

Silence.

And silence.

Kaoru's cheeks heated up as he started to mumble incomprehensible words to himself. Of course, it was not like he was his cute, innocent self any longer. No, not even close. Hikaru had made sure of it, times and times and times and again, and that was really not the point at the moment... Still! It was not everyday that he had the chance to see his two senpais doing... doing stuff in an empty, unlocked room. And he had never known Kyoya was that creative...

He was going to kill Hikaru.

Some mumblings. Some protesting. Some weird noises floated in the air and made the blush on Kaoru's face deepen. Then a teary Tamaki burst through the front door of the Host club, promptly hugging the immobile form of the younger Hitachiin. "Kaoru, my poor, poor son! Daddy is sorry for letting you see such improper things!" He cried, his tears streaming down and sparkling under the morning sunlight. "But it wasn't what it looked like! Mommy, tell our son that it was just a misunderstanding!"

"It was just a misunderstanding." a voice monotonously repeated, and Kyoya smiled.

While his glasses flashed in a way that promised unimaginable things to happen.

"So, Hitachiin, how can I help you?"

The raven gracefully lowered his head and scribbled something in his clipboard. Before he looked up slowly, but directly in to the redhead's eyes, and smiled again.

Kaoru could have sworn that he'd just briefly caught a glimpse of his own bloody, mangled corpse being tossed down a sewer in a very, very near future.

He was so going to kill Hikaru.

There was a limit to the amount of violence she could endure.

She drew her legs up to her chest and sighed, mimicking perfectly her blond senior's pose when the man was in his extremely depressed mood. He had been ranting non-stop for the last one and a half hours, and she couldn't help but wonder if he intentionally did so just to annoy the hell out of her. But when she saw the genuine happiness on his face, the thought vanished like it had never existed.

"And then Kaoru..." He went on. And on. And on.

She almost groaned.

Perhaps she should knock him unconscious, then tie him up before tossing him out of her house and returning to watching her cheap action-movies. That way she wouldn't have to listen to another word about how cute Kaoru looked in his teddy bear boxer.

"Oh, have I mentioned that Kaoru looks so cute in his teddy bear boxer?" he asked cheerily, and she suddenly had the desire to bang her head on something solid.

Mother in heaven...

When Kaoru decided that something was enough, it was enough.

He had had to experience the bloodiest wake-up call of his life. He had had to face an angry speech from the principle about how inappropriate it was for a young man to just stand there and do nothing while the ladies were practically dying on the floor due to blood loss and unstoppable giggles (and not to mention how hard it would be to scrub all the blood off that sparkling floor). He had had to freaking walk on the Shadow King and the Prince Charming doing You-know-what things on the third music room. And after that - oh yes, the joy of what happened after that - the Lord of Death had smiled that deadly smile and shot him a mental message : What you don't want to know... is your fate tomorrow...

The Hitachiin wanted to burst into tears. He could still hear the sadistic laughter that seemed to echo from nowhere and see the decaying bodies crawling out of the pitch-black ground behind Kyoya's back.

And now this.

"Kao-chan! Kao-chan! Are you okay? Why do you look like you want to cry? Do you want to eat cakes?"

For someone who had nearly ripped off someone else's head with just one kick, it was truly amazing that Honey-senpai could still pull off that innocently adorable aura. It was even more amazing how he could switch from a murderous mode after being woken up to that lovely do-you-want-to-hug-my-usa-chan manner in a split second.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Kao-chan!" The small blond gripped the twin's shoulders and shook him violently, tears swelling up in his big eyes. "Don't die, Kao-chan! I'll give you my favourite strawberry cake! But wait, I already ate it! Do you want to hug my usa-chan instead?"

"Calm down, Mitsukuni." Mori-senpai, who had probably came to the conclusion that there was no point in offering a stuffed animal to a boy that had almost lost his dear life, picked the loli-shota up and put him back on the ground.

After a minute or two, the redhead finally regained his composure. Kaoru held his hands up as he tried his best to put on his normal smile, despite the fact that his legs were refusing to support his body and his brain was starting to scream frantically at the close proximity between him and the pink rabbit toy. The copper-haired boy didn't want his blond senior to feel more guilty than he already have. "Aa, I'm fine now, honey-senpai. I just came to ask if you happen to see something like this around." Carefully, he pulled a piece of paper that read 'Martial art' out of his pocket, holding it up in front of a curious Hunny and an expressionless Mori.

"I think I know."

The younger twin grinned when his quiet senpai spoke, before asking if Takashi could show him where the message was. The taller boy nodded, then lifted his slender kouhai easily off the ground, putting him on his shoulders and starting to carry him to the Haninotsuka's back yard. Mitsukuni followed them happily.

"Is this what you need?" the stoic senior asked as soon as the three reached an old tree, tracing his fingers along the newly-carved letters.

Kaoru decided that what enough was definitely enough.

He was going to kill himself. Right now.

'Magic club'.

Tell me, Hikaru... Just WHAT THE HECK were you thinking?

"You're beautiful..."

He whispered in a husky voice he had yet to find the strength to control, his lips brushing tantalizingly on Kaoru's sensitive earlobe. He could sense the boy shivering through layers of cloth which prevented their skin from contacting, and it brought up in him a sense of satisfaction - so strong that he couldn't prevent himself from trembling slightly in excitement as well. Tightening his grip on his baby brother's slender arms, he pressed their bodies roughly together, rocking until he was sure his twin was silently , but desperately, begging him for more.

Kaoru looked so cute when he blushed.

He snaked a hand under the redhead's shirt, caressing the smooth skin of the teen's abdomen. Before slowly sliding it up, pinching and playing with the younger boy's hardened nipples. "Ah... aah... Hikaru..." Kaoru's body curved flexibly in his embrace, a moan escaped from those full lips in such a delicious way that it made something inside of him loosen, revolting wildly until he felt it burning in the pitch of his stomach. There was no resisting to such a sexy voice, he heard his mind idly comment before he grabbed his self-control and tossed it out the window.

Amber eyes so similar to his widened as clothes were ripped off the copper-haired boy's lithe body, revealing everything his hungry eyes wanted and needed to see. "Beautiful..." he murmured again as he pushed the naked boy onto the soft mattress, attacking his brother's parted lips and slipping his experienced tongue in that warm, sweet carven. God, his other half's unique taste was like a nasty little drug he could never have enough of, and the moans that Kaoru was emitting only urged him to dive in for more. Every part of his little brother, every sound, every drop of sweat... He wanted, he needed, he desired...

"Hi... Hika..." A whimper resounded, and then he greedily licked it away from those sinfully charming lips. "Hikaru..."

"Shhh..." He shushed his exotic prey into quietness, taking a bite on the ivory neck before caressing the reddened skin with his tongue. "Be a good boy for me..."

The redhead obediently turned his head to the side and gave him greater access, a cry muffled into the back of his hand. He smirked when he saw the shy reaction. It was just like when he took him for the first time. The helpless tears forming at the corner of those golden eyes, the way his other half arched his back, the way those slender fingers tangled into his messy hair and pulled him close... All of them combined together, drawing him in like a spider's trap drawing the ignorant prey in.

But he knew, as clearly as Kaoru knew, that they were both far from being ignorant.

He parted the boy's legs, kissing his brother's inner thighs before licking the tip of the boy's erection. Kaoru gasped at the contact. He smirked, taking more into his mouth, feeling his twin's hip bucked under his ministrations. "More... niichan... more..." The soft whisper floated in the air as Kaoru's hands clutched desperately at the sheet. The sight turned him on even more, which he had thought was impossible.

There was, indeed, no resisting to that sexy voice.

"As you wish..." He raised one of his hand to stroke the redhead's arousal, coated his fingers with his other half's milky substance. Before moving the digits to Kaoru's entrance, thrusting them into the over-whelming heat.

"Hi... HIKARU!"

---

She stood there, not knowing what to do.

It seemed like a good idea at first to go and cook them lunch, since it was already noon and she didn't like seeing him whine like Tamaki-senpai did whenever the blond was hungry. But as she returned, he had already fallen asleep, curling comfortably under a warm blanket in her bedroom.

She never knew a normal person could look like he was greedily devouring something in his sleep.

But then again, since when was he a normal person? She meant, a normal person wouldn't carry photos of his twin which probably weight more than himself around, or talk incessantly about said twin for two hours straight.

"Uhm... Kaoru..."

...Or moan his twin's name in his slumber... Wait, was that a moan?

She silently stepped out of her room and closed the door behind her with a soft 'click'. Somehow, her woman intuition told her that if she woke him up at this instance, her commoner life would never be the same again.

She hoped Kaoru was doing well.

"I didn't do anything, Nekozawa-senpai! I swear!"

Kaoru could feel everybody's eyes focusing on him as he ran along the hall at a frightening speed as if his life depended on it. Well, maybe his life did depend on it... He corrected as he saw the Black Magic club founder hot on his tail, eyes glinted dangerously under the shadow of his black cloak.

"Curse you, Hitachiin. CURSE. YOU!"

The redhead could see a vein popped up visibly on his creepy senior's forehead. If it wasn't for the cloak, he would probably see the teen baring his fang at him right now. Umehito Nekozawa growled again, waving his fist in the air while his other hand was busy holding his beloved Belzenef puppet with not-so-neat writing splatered all over its back.

One guess for whom those chicken scratch belonged to.

"HI... TA... CHIIN! I told you to get the hell back here!"

"But it wasn't my fault, really!" he cried over his shoulders, "Hikaru did it!"

"His doing, your fault! It's the same!"

"How the heck is it the same?"

"I don't care!"

For the first time in his life, the younger Hitachiin wondered if Hikaru could be cursed if it was Kaoru's name being written on that creepy wooden doll.

He was bored.

He was freaking bored.

What was taking Kaoru so long? He wanted to see his little brother! And then dragged him into a closet and had his wicked way with him...

Where the hell was his twin right now? He looked up at the endless blue sky, and pouted. Damn that dream – no matter how sexy it had been – now he felt like he could kill someone if he didn't see the redhead right away. No, not her. Never her. Both he and Kaoru liked her too much for him to do that. But he was sure he would find someone else to kill. Like that Ritsu Kasanoda.

He missed Kaoru, damn it!

Picking the pink apron next to him up, he held it close to his chest and started to imagine his baby brother in it, before falling asleep again and happily enjoying just another one of his perverted dreams.

Kaoru wanted to strangle his big brother.

The stupid messages had forced him to drag his feet to the Ootori mansion only to walk on Kyoya and Tamaki doing it again (Really, why did they always have to do it at the exact time he stepped in? Now Kyoya wanted to slaughter him even more...). And then there was the north clock tower, their elementary school, and the Red Rose's private bedroom.

Benio Amakusa had almost shoved that horribly long sword through his throat when she caught him rummaging through her lingerie drawer.

The copper-haired boy buried his face into his hand. Just the memory of it was enough to embarrass him beyond imagination, and made him want to strangle Hikaru even more. And how could his twin sneak into her room without her noticing, anyway?

But that was another problem. The main problem now was, the next clue.

'Canteen.'

He didn't understand it. Didn't this mean he had to go back to where he had started? But he had searched every inch of the school canteen, and the next message was nowhere to be found.

Kaoru frowned. The fact that he was being defeated by Hikaru's puzzle had struck him hard on the head. Especially after he had gone through all those troubles. Now the Shadow King was plotting to push him into irrepayable debt, Nekozawa had lovingly thrown at his face his most horrible curse, Amakusa was still out there waiting for him with her sword, and he was currently afraid of anything pink.

Could his life get any more pathetic?

The younger twin massaged his temples. Hikaru was still Hikaru, and Hikaru was the one who was so eager to be found in a hide-and-seek game that back when they were five, the dark-haired boy had practically jump out of his hiding place to glomp his seeker – a.k.a Kaoru – whenever the younger boy took too much time to find him. That was why his nii-chan would never put in a too hard question in puzzle games such as this one.

He had to think as simply as he could.

Canteen. Ouran Host club. Martial art. Magic club. Ootori mansion. North clock tower. Elementary school. Red Rose.

If he were Hikaru, he would...

Something clicked.

Canteen. Ouran Host club. Martial art. Magic club. Ootori mansion. North clock tower. Elementary school. Red Rose.

C-O-M-M-O-N-E-R.

Kaoru smirked. So that was where his dearest brother was.

Hikaru was dead meat now.

Haruhi Fujioka was startled when her dark-haired companion suddenly flung her bedroom door open. Amber eyes shone brightly as he hastily bolted to the main door, and before she could asked him to explain his weird actions, Hikaru Hitachiin had announced in his overly excited tone,

"Kaoru's coming. I can sense him."

Sense...!? She could do nothing but blink at the older Hitachiin as he rushed outside. Okay, so maybe Hikaru really was that obssessed over his little brother. Maybe there truly was something behind that brotherly love act after all...

---

"Kaoru!" Hikaru shouted with his most happy-happy voice when his eyes caught sight of his other half walking calmly towards his direction. Finally! He was able to hold the redhead in his arms again, then steal a few kisses before pinning the boy down and...

...And Kaoru whacked him hard on the head.

The older boy's golden orbs widened slightly at the fact that his lovely uke had just technically hit him on the head, before his instinct forced him to take several steps back as he saw his baby brother twitch violently. This meant Kaoru was mad. And at him. Not good.

Baaad.

"Kaoru?" he asked nervously.

And then his twin erupted.

"YOU IDIOT!"

Hikaru flinched at the words. The copper-haired boy grabbed the front of his shirt roughly, pulling their face dangerously close. If anyone had ever said that it was impossible to be sexy and pissed at the same time, the dark-haired twin swore that he would kick the bastard's butt. Because his little brother sure as hell was sexy right now, especially when their lips were only a breath away from each other's. He'd just have to lean in a little more...

"JUST WHAT KIND OF STUPID GAME WERE YOU PLAYING? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I HAD TO... Mmmff."

Kaoru's eyes grew wide as his brother pulled him forward and silenced his angry speech with his mouth. The redhead's mind went blank for a moment, letting him melt into the kiss. He's such a damn good kisser... Wait, this is not the time! The logic part of him quickly cleared out his sudden daze. Hikaru had been sorely mistaken if his big brother thought he could fix everything with that sexily talented tongue of his. No, as much as Kaoru loved having his dark-haired twin molest him with his amazing kissing skills, the copper-haired boy was mad right now and he was so going to give his nii-chan a piece of his mind.

Before the younger boy could struggle in protest, however, Hikaru pulled away. "I miss you..." he whispered, licking his little brother's rosy lips tenderly.

Amber eyes softened at the word, before Kaoru shook his head. He wouldn't forgive his brother that easily. Not this time. "Then perhaps you shouldn't have thought of this kidnapping game in the first place."

"But I didn't do anything!"

"What do you mean you didn't do anything?" Twitch, twitch. "Obviously you have..."

"He's right, Kaoru. Hikaru didn't do anything."

The redhead stopped dead in his tracks as soon as the owner of the voice that had interupted him made his appearance. Kyoya pushed his glasses up slightly, before smirking his typical smirk and quickly scribbling something in his notebook. Trailing right behind the raven were the rest of his beloved host club, from the sparkling Tamaki to the you-rich-bastards-are-so-troublesome Haruhi. Kaoru's jaw dropped. So... all members of the club were in this? Every freaking member, except for him?

"Why...?" was the only word he managed to utter.

"It raises the profit." The Ootori responded simply, as if it was something natural, "You did a good job, Hitachiin. I presume that these video tapes will be sold out in a pretty short time."

"But then... what happened between you and Tono..."

The deadly smile was shot at him again, and Kaoru abruptly shut his mouth up as a sign that he had understood the mental message completely and utterly. Another word about that, and you will never, ever, see your Hikaru again.

Oh God, Hikaru.

"Ne, Kaoru... Did you really think I put you through all that?" So softly. So sadly. And so hurt.

Great. Seeing Hikaru with the kicked-puppy expression he had probably learned from their Tono didn't make Kaoru feel any less guilty. Why hadn't he trusted his big brother? After all those years, he of all people should have known that Hikaru wasn't the kind of person who had the heart to torture him in such a way. His twin wasn't exactly innocent in all this, true. But then again, who had the guts to refuse the Shadow King's command? He knew he himself didn't.

Kaoru sighed, lowering his eyelids and resting his head on the dark-haired twin's shoulder. His voice came out apologetically as he intertwined his fingers with his nii-chan's slender ones, "I'm sorry, Hikaru. Forgive me?"

He didn't need to lift his head up to know that Hikaru was smiling. Nuzzling his face into Kaoru's silky hair, the older boy gently wrapped his arms around his other half's waist.

"It's okay. But promise that you won't be mad at me anymore?"

"Yeah..." A nod.

"Won't shout at me anymore?"

"Yeah..."

"I can do it whenever I want?"

"Yeah..."

Wait, what?

"Fine then, let's go home now. See ya all tomorrow!"

Er... ER!?

"Wait, Hikaru! I didn't mean it!" Kaoru yelped as his brother began to drag him away gleefully, "Hikaru, you cheater! DO YOU HEAR ME?"

---

Honey tilted his head at the sight of his two kouhais, before turning his gaze upwards. "Haru-chan... What did Hika-chan mean by 'it'?"

"I don't know, Honey-senpai..."

Haruhi replied absent-mindedly. So there was something behind that brotherly love act after all...

"Kyoya-senpai?"

"Hn?"

"What did you and Tamaki-senpai do?"

Smile. "Do you want me to triple your debt?"

"Never mind, senpai..."

Thus, the day went on. Peacefully.

Hikaru smirked, brushing Kaoru's dampened bang out of his face without waking the thoroughly worn-out boy from his sleep. The plan had gone more smoothly than he expected, he thought, while bending down a little to plant a soft kiss on his baby brother's shoulder.

He'd have to thank Kyoya later for the cover-up.

Well... I know Hikaru was a little too OOC in this fic, but I couldn't help myself since I really wanted to see his obssession with Kaoru. Please ignore it for the sake of a humor story. Thank you greatly for that, and thank you for reading this story.

And, my special thanks to Anonymous, IluvHikaruandKaoru, Suikachan555, hitachiin-fangirl, ImmortalButterfly459, atomiclint, sunshine, Hali-chan, BlackBunny15, suaviorXchu, bLaCkxxxRo53, StormShadow13, Venixblood, nejiXtenten4everz, LURVEuALL for their reviews on my fic 'Brutal'. Your words have encouraged me so much.